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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

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The official Twitter account for Larry Vaughn, the mayor of Amity Island (est. 1690). Amity, as you know, means friendship.

Amity Island, MA
Joined June 2018
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
I'm pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers. But as you can see, it's a beautiful day, the beaches are open, and people are having a wonderful time. Amity, as you know, means friendship.
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Why aren't you in the water? Nobody's going in! Please. Get in the water.
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
I'm sorry, Martin. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry.
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
I was acting in the town's best interest. I thought I was acting in the town's best interest.
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
For Christ's sake, tomorrow is the Fourth of July!
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
We WILL be open for business. It's gonna be one of the best summers we've ever had! Now, if you fellas are concerned about the beaches, you do whatever you have to to make them safe. But those beaches WILL be open for this weekend!
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
My kids were on that beach too!
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Sick vandalism. That is a deliberate mutilation of a public service message. Now, I want those little paint-happy bastards caught and hung up by their Buster Browns!
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
24 days
AUGUST?!
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
I'm only trying to say that Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars. If the people can't swim here they'll be glad to swim at the beaches of Cape Cod, Hamptons, Long Island.
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Martin? Martin, you gonna shut down the beaches on your own authority?
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Now, look, fellas. Let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish! And I am not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock!
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Only 24 hours!
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Look, we depend on the summer people here for our very lives, and if you close those beaches, we're finished!
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Martin, it's all psychological. You yell 'barracuda!', everybody says 'huh, what?'. You yell 'shark!' and we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July.
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Love to prove that wouldn't ya? Get your name into the National Geographic!
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Martin. A summer girl goes swimming. Swims out a little far. She tires. A fishing boat comes along...
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
We're really a little anxious that you're, uh, you're rushing into something serious here. It's your first summer, you know.
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
All right fellas, let's cut this ugly son of a bitch down before it stinks up the whole island. Harv, you and Carl take it out tomorrow and dump it in the drink.
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Boat propeller?
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
I don't think either one of you are familiar with our problems!
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
I'm sorry, Martin. She's wrong.
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
And what did you say the name of this shark is?
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Where is that tooth? Did you see it, Brody?
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Hey, we can start breathing again! Ben getting plenty of pictures for the papers?
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
I don't think you appreciate the gut reaction people have to these things.
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@Amity_Mayor
Larry Vaughn
2 months
Please! Let's have some order! Let's have order, please! Any special questions?
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