Larry Vaughn @Amity_Mayor Twitter profile

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

I'm pleased and happy to repeat the news that we have, in fact, caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers. But as you can see, it's a beautiful day, the beaches are open, and people are having a wonderful time. Amity, as you know, means friendship.

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Why aren't you in the water? Nobody's going in! Please. Get in the water.

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

I'm sorry, Martin. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry.

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

I was acting in the town's best interest. I thought I was acting in the town's best interest.

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

For Christ's sake, tomorrow is the Fourth of July!

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

We WILL be open for business. It's gonna be one of the best summers we've ever had! Now, if you fellas are concerned about the beaches, you do whatever you have to to make them safe. But those beaches WILL be open for this weekend!

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

My kids were on that beach too!

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Sick vandalism. That is a deliberate mutilation of a public service message. Now, I want those little paint-happy bastards caught and hung up by their Buster Browns!

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

24 days

AUGUST?!

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

I'm only trying to say that Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars. If the people can't swim here they'll be glad to swim at the beaches of Cape Cod, Hamptons, Long Island.

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Martin? Martin, you gonna shut down the beaches on your own authority?

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Now, look, fellas. Let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish! And I am not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock!

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Only 24 hours!

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Look, we depend on the summer people here for our very lives, and if you close those beaches, we're finished!

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Martin, it's all psychological. You yell 'barracuda!', everybody says 'huh, what?'. You yell 'shark!' and we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July.

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Love to prove that wouldn't ya? Get your name into the National Geographic!

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Martin. A summer girl goes swimming. Swims out a little far. She tires. A fishing boat comes along...

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

We're really a little anxious that you're, uh, you're rushing into something serious here. It's your first summer, you know.

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

All right fellas, let's cut this ugly son of a bitch down before it stinks up the whole island. Harv, you and Carl take it out tomorrow and dump it in the drink.

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Boat propeller?

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

I don't think either one of you are familiar with our problems!

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

I'm sorry, Martin. She's wrong.

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

And what did you say the name of this shark is?

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Where is that tooth? Did you see it, Brody?

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Hey, we can start breathing again! Ben getting plenty of pictures for the papers?

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

I don't think you appreciate the gut reaction people have to these things.

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Larry Vaughn

@Amity_Mayor

2 months

Please! Let's have some order! Let's have order, please! Any special questions?

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