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Alfred “The Machine” Brown Profile
Alfred “The Machine” Brown

@Al_Brown313

1,316
Followers
1,045
Following
409
Media
1,439
Statuses

Ohio and Boston | 27 Parlays Hit | Recreational Eating Champion ‘07 and ‘15 | JV Hockey DPOY | Electric Factory |

Joined June 2022
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Forgot my girlfriends order
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Girl rocking a Ray Rice jersey in the Alabama AOii rush video😭😭
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
“What’s your address?”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
“stage fright”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
The Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
7 days
@BarnHulk “Yeah bro she was totally feeling me”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
The Herbie Hancock award ITYSL skit is not talked ab enough. @ITYSL_memes
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
11 months
Idek what the hell is happening
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
@PER4ORM Could also be Cyrus Jones (former Alabama CB)🤷‍♂️
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
Who’s a bigger piece of shit? Fraternity DJ or Guy that puts Instagram @ on his car
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Somebody get this guy a map😭
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
25 days
It’s official
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
I won’t consider myself successful until Old Row reposts one of my tweets and crops out my profile name
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
This kid definitely has a burner
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
preferring clear liquor vs preferring dark liquor
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
25 days
Me watching my post I thought was gold get 2 likes and 120 views
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
How’s my offense looking this year?
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Where do you see yourself in 5 beers? Whats your 5 beer plan?
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
30 days
Time to meet god
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
26 days
Freshman Photoshop Final. I thought this was so sick when I was 14
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Just gonna leave it at this…
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
I peaked
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
“Bars and casino tn?”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
24 days
Everyday we stray further from God.
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
10 months
Firing on all cylinders this Friday
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
11 months
First legal drink. Let’s ride
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Geed
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Rate my lunch
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
12 beers and a parlay 12 beers and a parlay
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
@ScoducksFP @mouthwashpoison @CJ1two Bro. You live in Michigan😭🫵🤙
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
25 days
Promoting fake Barstool merch has to be one of the more pathetic things I’ve seen
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
24 days
Lord if you can hear me, please make podcast equipment more expensive🙏
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
9 days
Thoughts on this?
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
This is actually the funniest thing ever! I’m literally sipping my coffee and I spit it all over my monitor!Hawk Tuah is the best meme of the year by far😐
@morrisoncrying
morrisoncrying
2 months
Broooo 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
23 days
I wonder if Hawk Tuah girl threw a spit ball🤣🤣🤣😐
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
11 months
Feeling out my @DetroitRedWings bet with a CPU vs CPU game
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
Bad hair day
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
25 days
“So we call it the burnerverse”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
The girl at the bar when I tell her how lucky we are to have 2 scorigamis in a weekend
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@NFL_Scorigami
Scorigami
1 year
PHI 25 - 11 TB Final That's Scorigami!! It's the 1078th unique final score in NFL history.
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
I feel like everything would be better if these were brought back
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Pullin a Joshua Block at this game
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
“Hey do you maybe wanna get violently hammered and go gamble?”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 years
@DatHoodDuDe @OvOBrezzzy How the nft market doing bro?
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
I won’t consider myself successful until Old Row reposts one of my tweets and crops out my profile name
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
I guarantee alcohol poisoning if Miller Lite ever brings this design back
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
@ballhazeme18 Sorry Richard. I’ll be better tomorrow #onedaybetter
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
Poppin these bastards like hangover Tylenol
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
16 days
My worst nightmare
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
29 days
Just regained eye sight from surgery and this is the first thing I see… I want to go back
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
Getting to make a burner on NCAA 25 after work:
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
This may be the greatest video ever put on this app
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
29 days
Official Statement:
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
9 days
I feel like a Hawk Tuah fan would buy this garbage
@Tylronstore
Tylron
11 days
Perfect for casual or formal attire. Get:
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
26 days
“They discontinued the vortex bottle?”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
Typa shit I been on
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 years
Pretty much sums up today
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 years
WE DID IT‼️🍾🍾 Thank you to all 102 of you. Y’all are the real MVP‼️🫵
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
11 months
*receives shower snap* Me: “Without me?” *left on read*
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
Me after sex:
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
3 desk beers should be allowed
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
This may be the worst sports fan in the history of sports fans
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
This is what I needed
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
Wonder if anyone in the office knows I’m wearing Peter Millar? I should probably make it well known
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
9 months
Won $20 on my parlay (lost $300 today)
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
27 days
Sorority girls when No Hands starts playing
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
9 days
I would go to war for this child
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Biggest D-Bag:
Guitar around fire guy
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Fraternity DJ
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
I really fucking hate golfing in Arizona (no I don’t🤭)
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
It had to be done
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 years
So was 89 not wide open in the end zone?😭 @KU_Football what happened⁉️🤙 #LibertyBowl
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
11 months
Assuming I was “lowkey edging” all day, I would immediately ejaculate down the right leg of my Levi’s 501s
@Alkibiades_
Cabana Boy 🌴
11 months
You are at nightclub in Copenhagen while backpacking in Europe and she gives you long eye contact...you have 5 seconds to react. What do?
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
What the actual hell is this bro😭
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
22 days
When will the rizzler get to throw out the first pitch at an MLB game?
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
I can’t believe the minions did this on set. #CancelTheMinions
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
11 months
The adult in me wants a Sam Adams Octoberfest, but the little white slut in me wants a pumpkin spice latte
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
11 months
“Sir we’re gonna have to cut you off” Me:
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
All 5 guys in line at the gas station had a 12 pack. God Bless America🇺🇸🦅
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
11 months
Mood for tn #Blackhawks
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 years
The equipment manager got a penalty wtf😭😭 #HolidayBowl #UNC #Oregon
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Noah Lyles talked shit and backed it up
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
Working from home calls for some fingering😮‍💨
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
It’s just AI, it doesn’t mean anything lol😅
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
16 days
I miss the old SEC jersey patches
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
11 months
*sees a charitable 5* Me: “Hear me out bro”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
11 months
She told me I couldn’t “lowkey edge to her vsco post from February 18, 2019”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
9 months
Me to my 45 year old co worker when he says he brought donuts into the office
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Omg I literally bursted out laughing in my Uber🤣 Showed him this and he had to pull over from laughing so hard😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😐
@BarstoolKU
Barstool KU
1 month
Just thought of this: Coleman Hawk-Tuahins 😂😂😂😂😂
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
10 months
Cigarettes after sex? More like mint breeze after masturbating!
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
Mood for today
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
POV: You’re my friend and see me leaving the bar with a charitable 4.3 at close
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
10 months
“Are you really using No Nut November as an excuse to low-key edge every day?”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
I’d hate to eat wings, drink beer, and watch #MNF
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 month
Dudes will see this and just say “hell yeah”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 years
I’d love to tap in here. Who’s with me⁉️🫵
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
Me sending the 5th wyd tn text in 5 days to her
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 months
“Larry Bird played basketball the right way”
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
9 days
Not if I have anything to do with it. I will save my city from this trash
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
2 years
@CLEsportsTalk I’m proud to be a Cleveland sports fan bc although it’s been rough, there’s always a sense of pride that comes with sticking with my teams #Browns #Guardians #Cavs
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
1 year
Me coming out of the bathroom after jerking off before family dinner
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@Al_Brown313
Alfred “The Machine” Brown
22 days
Dominic Smith. Not the step first baseman, but the first baseman that stepped up…
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