Alex Freund @AMFreund Twitter profile

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

6 years

Idc if you are “gay” or “straight” or “my mom” if you like my tweet you’re flirting w me.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

I’ll never forget about the time I brought M*ndy K*ling her lunch and 15 seconds later she tweeted about how only getting one napkin with your lunch was insane

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

It’s so sad when I see people from my high school who are friends with all the same people as they were 12 years ago. I, for instance, have no friends now, which is better.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

submissive in bed but dom about deciding what to eat 😍😍😍

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

@morganzetajones Yes in all honesty I agree with her

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

@drewbcarr I was too scared to go back bestie. I was too scared to go back.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I don’t have Grindr except when I need to check if my hot waiter is gay.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I hope I get reincarnated as a 5’9” bottom. Y’all are having so much fun.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

2 years

I’m so thankful to be gay bc of my chosen family and bc I know in my soul that I am too lazy to make a woman cum

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

To be clear, this isn’t shade. I thought it was hilarious and I think Mindy is very kind, funny and talented and I will bring so many napkins if she let’s me meet on Never Have I Ever

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

Watch #LoveVictorS2 streaming on Hulu and don’t forget to look out for my cameo as “DL Masc Guy On Unspecified Gay Dating App”

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

6 years

@RealSophiaRobot

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

Get your PrEP for FREE From the bottle in my bathroom that I’m not using bc I’m not sexually active rn.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

5 years

@ellievhall @LouisPeitzman “I love Joffrey with all my heart your grace. He is a just and fair king.”

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

2 years

All bathrooms should be gender neutral and then we’ll split them up by whether you have explosive diarrhea or not

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

If the point of lexapro is to make you less generally depressed about the hopelessness of life and more specifically depressed about the fact that you can’t cum then damn this shit is gooooooood

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

5 years

@NickStopTalking Okay you didn’t need to come for the pasta community like this

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

Just kissed a guy goodbye and got into an Uber where the driver is wearing a blue lives matter hat. This will be my last tweet. Please make it go posthumously viral!

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I’m vers. I can be anxious and avoidant.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

8 years

Hillary Clinton is Paris Gellar and America is full of people whose favorite character is DEAN

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

5 months

This is how I expected the entire gay community to treat me after I staffed.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

Euphoria really put its whole pussy into showing us more dicks

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

6 months

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

5 years

@rachel_handler Say, “Trump is president. It’s the Wild West out here. Etiquette is dead.”

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

@mattduckor Back-pay for Sohla please!

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

My claim to fame is that the creator of Grindr hit me up on the app and when I sent him my pics he immediately blocked me.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

2 years

Putting your boyfriend on the grid is more serious than marriage

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

2 years

Bottoms shouldn’t have to Postmates. Their tops should be cooking for them.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

Do any masc gays want to be friends with my dad?

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

Just because I am “cripplingly lonely” doesn’t mean I want to “talk to anyone”

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I am calling out Sex Lives of College Girls for introducing the idea of “chuckle fuckers.” Being funny has never once gotten me laid and it’s dangerous to spread this kind of misinformation.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

Did it!

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

I wish Biden followed me so I could be like, “oomf just authorized a drone strike,” or “oomf is negotiating down the stimulus bill against himself”

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

2 years

We need new queer stories. Like a gay kid who comes out, but he kicks his parents out of the home bc they don’t fit into his new aesthetic.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I am looking to make new gay friends. Preferably we will have a will they won’t they vibe until you get a bf who I will leave out of inside jokes. Thank you.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

Scarf? My ex has my PS3! I’m writing All Too Well a 20 min version!

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

My Dad died in a boating accident in 1992. His body was never recovered and we’re still looking for his remains to this day. If you have any information on the whereabouts of his bones, please contact me. I like your crop top ❤️

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

You didn’t forget how to talk to people in the pandemic. You’re 30 and no one has ever liked you. (I’m talking to myself)

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

1 year

Writers need fair pay or their boyfriends will dump them!!! #WGAStrike @jakeylindner

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

1 year

I think it would be really helpful if auteur Showrunners like Mike White and Sam Levinson would speak publically about the writer mandate instead of letting their shows be used as talking points to undermine an absolutely crucial piece of the WGA's demands.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

Pokémon primed us to collect Tinder matches and let them sit untouched in our PCs

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

7 years

@chrissyteigen it's both

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

7 years

@realDonaldTrump It is so humiliating to watch you exist

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I got micro-agressed when my nurse asked me if I had met any nice girls in LA. And as a 30 y/o proud gay man living in West Hollywood I took a stand and said, “no, but I hope to one day.”

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

2 years

I would pay double my Hulu subscription to get episodes of The Kardashians with Kourtney and Travis edited out

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I did nothing to deserve turning 30

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

Having a fleeting moment of confidence

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

1 year

MEN. DO. NOT. HAVE. A. MID-LEVEL. JOB. AT. THEIR. MARKETING. AGENCY. THAT. THEY. COULD. HOOK. ME. UP. WITH

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

If I bring one bowl out of my room a day maybe my roommates won’t figure out I’m depressed

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

As California reopens it’s important to remember that anything we did during the pandemic doesn’t count. Did we text an ex? No we didn’t. Did we send some insane DMs? Not us. Did we learn to make whipped coffee? Prove it.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

10 years

💕💕💕 http://t.co/B8uR2ePMpb

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

People are really throwing around the word “adventure” too casually on dating apps. If you’re not stealing a long lost treasure you can just say you like to hike.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

@bocxtop We need 4 Republican senators to commit to not voting before the election. So far it looks like two already have. We’re looking at @SenatorCollins to commit to not vote.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

If you are gay and you aren’t paying attention to me you have a lot of internalized homophobia to work through

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I will not be “putting myself out there.” If you want to date me you’ll have to break into my house.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

Why do I feel like they just told me I’m not hot enough to join Slytherin

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

If my friend introduces me to a group of new people it is their responsibility to give me a performance review the next day. Did everyone think I was funny? Did I get an A? Do I get a sticker? Etc. Etc.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

Making gay friends is like, “haha I can’t tell if we’re being mean because we don’t like each other or because we do!!!”

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

6 years

Wow I really want to look stocky

GQ Magazine

@GQMagazine

6 years

7 swim shorts made to show off stockier builds

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

10 years

Solange: Now it's time 4 everyone more famous than me to sit on the ground B: but you said wear white Solange: I know http://t.co/Vlync3PUrl

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

One of the cutest lil things my TV writer friends do for me is to not watch my show so I don’t have to watch theirs. This is how we show our love.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

If my doctor wants to call me cool he should just say that

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

7 years

Me on my death bed: I’m glad I spent all that time acting too cool for things!!!!

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

Happy Pride to my straight crush from highschool

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

@garrcie I’d also say that “checking in” isn’t always that helpful. Help them find a mental health professional. Make an appointment for them. Try to eliminate the hurdles that make seeking help difficult for someone with low energy and motivation.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I can’t believe I used to wish I was straight. Now I couldn’t imagine being straight and I just wish I was a hotter gay guy instead.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

Where’s my, started the pandemic at one cup of coffee a day and is now ending at 16 cups a day, gang at?

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

1 year

@chescaleigh You can use the Chrome extension Simplify. You fill out common questions once and then it’ll auto fill it all for you on most apps. I’ve applied to a loooot of jobs since the strike started.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I wanna complain about being depressed to my friend who is a therapist but he’s always like, “do these specific things to improve your mental health” and I have to be like “nooooooo”

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

5 years

@jaboukie @redletterdave You’re the only person on twitter making this primary bearable.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

@notn1co If you don’t need to apply spf50 to your taint the 👏 inseam 👏 is 👏 not 👏 short 👏 enough 👏

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I want to have a fun conversation with an attractive gay guy that has a hint of flirtiness but we both know that we will never ever have sex

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

One time I left a guy’s place and he asked me to text him when I got home safe but then he never spoke to me again. Like… wouldn’t it have been the same if I died?

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

Sometimes I’m like, “ugh, why don’t I have gay friends?” and then I remember how offended I get when any gay man doesn’t immediately want to hook up with me

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

@calebsaysthings This is inducing a trauma response in me plllzzzz make it stop

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

@LouisPeitzman That’s what masturbating in front of a mirror for a year will do to you

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

2 years

@OrangePaulp And then she obviously helps the woman and her daughter in the end. Because that’s how a story works.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

Am I allowed to post something like this? My boss follows me.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

Am I dating a 23 year old because I found my first grey hair, or did I find my first grey hair because I’m dating a 23 year old?

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

My boyfriend and I ran into a guy that dumped me at CVS while we were buying lube and he was buying a jumbo pack of toilet paper. Nature is healing 🥰🥰🥰

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

@CloseConformity I... am 6'2". Is my Twitter giving short king?!

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

@calebsaysthings @ItsDanSheehan Was literally having trouble reading it

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

2 years

My ultimate hater (God) wants to see me shit my pants before I make it to the bathroom so bad. He failed again today. Pathetic.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

6 years

If your parents follow you on social media you do not have to call them

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

The thing I’ll miss the most about San Fran is the lighting in my hotel bathroom and like… the culture.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

listen to my body? I just slept for 8 hours and woke up tired. My body doesn’t know shit.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I get so much more dick than the guys that bullied me in middle school. They’re not gay, but still.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

I love a short king with giant muscles. Get over here u lil knockwurst.

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

Everyone is like “poor Wanda so lonely that she is living in a made up TV world,” but no one cared when I had no friends in middle school and would pretend I was Veronica Mars

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

2 years

What beautiful queer storytelling from The Last of Us

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

4 years

Here are some tips on how to make your Nose Job Tik Tok more enjoyable for all: - only count down a MAX of 3 days until surgery! - include before, immediately after, and COMPLETELY HEALED. NO PART 2! - do a side by side before and after! - tag ur doctor! (this is just manners)

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

2 years

Not to brag but my belly button picks up lint better than most vacuums sold on Amazon

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Alex Freund

@AMFreund

3 years

The way my dad barges into my room he must not know about masturbation.

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