Womperspoon @womperspoon Twitter profile

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

2 years

Sometimes a balloon is just…a balloon.

Bill Kristol

@BillKristol

2 years

Sometimes a balloon is just...a balloon.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

In the Netherlands they import your rapist and then help you kill yourself afterward. It’s like a two-for-one replacement special.

Girl, 17, who was sexually abused at 11 is legally allowed to die

Noa Pothoven from Arnhem, the Netherlands, died in her living room last Sunday. She had suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and anorexia.

www.dailymail.co.uk

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

What did Tucker mean by this?

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

8 months

Uncle: Am I on speaker? Me: Yeah Uncle: Take me off Me: Okay Uncle: You didn't respond to the Nikki Haley gang bang video I texted you

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

10 months

Christmas gift idea for that special someone

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

They are going to adopt a brown kid—mark my words and save this tweet.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

9 months

New calendar just dropped

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

A story in four increasingly absurd parts...

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

We all know. You never shut up about it.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Awkward...

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

13 years

In order to get elected, @BarackObama will start a war with Iran.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

9 months

If you are a married woman with children (especially small children) & you don’t have your own secret Jewish tunnel where you regularly hide small undetectable amounts of money, you’re a fool

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Me, before Me, after Ben Shapiro Ben Shapiro

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

my only tweet that ever did 1k likes #pridemonth

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Extremely maternalistic conservative white woman voice: “It’s all about culture!”

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Alabama is literally standing athwart PBS yelling, “no I will not televise your gay cartoon opossum wedding!” and I am here for it. Roll Tide/War Eagle/etc., I guess.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

8 months

At least Fani Willis will never suffer the bigotry of a white person calling her articulate.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I wouldn’t usually ask but my very oldest friend is extremely sick. She’s 29, beautiful on the inside and out, and has two very young kiddos. I would really appreciate it if you will join me in praying for her.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

My uncle: Do you have an Aryan Nation tattoos? Me: No! Why would you ask me that?! My uncle: Because I just got one.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

LOL she has started just saying uterus because every time she says woman trans people in her mentions get ticked and claim that men can have a uterus too.

Alyssa Milano

@Alyssa_Milano

5 years

Not one uterus. NOT ONE UTERUS.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I generally make a point not to criticize other women’s appearances. But this is her *trying*—she literally got ready for a photo shoot and this was the result. I have seen embalmed corpses in caskets look better than this.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Look at me. I am the Colonel now.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I still don’t totally know what a wignat is but I’m pretty sure I became one in the last six months or so.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Characteristics of White Supremacy • Getting pets spayed or neutered • CSA farm shares • Not being underdressed • The honor system • Chewing with your mouth closed • “Cutting the cord” • Ability to work unpaid internships • Voting on Election Day • Throw pillows

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I specifically requested the opposite of “Make America Gay Again.”

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

5 years

Great news today: My Administration just secured a historic donation of HIV prevention drugs from Gilead to help expand access to PrEP for the uninsured and those at risk. Will help us achieve our goal of ending the HIV epidemic in America!

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Everything on Fox News that isn’t Tucker makes me want to kill myself. I have watched an hour long special with the MyPillow guy on Mark Levin, seen Jessie Waters ask stupid people on the street questions, and now Judge Jeannie’s obnoxious voice in the third hour. Make it stop.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Same energy

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Surprisingly similar energy.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

7 months

@MainstreamViews They have the good taste and decency to not publish a statement about a princess that includes words like bowels, poop, colostomy bag, etc.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Slow walkers account for no less than 50% of my racism.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

2 years

13% of cops do 50% of the police brutality.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

One like = one unpopular opinion that will probably make you unfollow me

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Why are all the same people constantly complaining about Game of Thrones plots also always trying to convince me I *have* to watch it? Just bc you’ve invested years of your life in this gay fantasy Harry Potter for grownups crap doesn’t mean I need to be brought down with you.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

My main concern here is that this may not actually even be peak globohomo.

Chip

@ChipsAhoy

5 years

#HappyMothersDay to your moms, your drag moms and everyone who celebrates you being YOU. #GetTheseCookies @VanessaVanjie ❤️

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

My grandmother cooks, plays cards, reads, gardens, day drinks manhattans, and gets doted on by all her children and grandchildren. Literally the dream.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

White people have no culture, my behind.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

9 months

Have you read Left Behind in Rosedale? Great book highly recommend.

Gene Parmesan

@dsonoiki

9 months

skill not an issue here

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I mean if that’s *really* not enough for you I guess I can cook too.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

2 years

I’m so back

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Sitting across the white trashiest couple I’ve seen in a long time. Lots of tattoos on both, woman has a whole sleeve, and they both have trump hats (his is camo, hers is pink). I instinctively like them.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

And while I’m on the subject of being a totally catty brat, Ben Shapiro’s sister is trying to be a FASHION BLOGGER. Girl—it’s not gonna happen—trust me.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

This isn’t actually the state of modern white women. It’s a cope for modern white women who don’t have what they want and are too proud to admit it.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Drove through one of the Seven Wonders of Globohomo today. An affront in an otherwise idyllic drive through rural and small town Pennsylvania. (Different angle, have to look closely. And yes, I know my inspection is out of date.)

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

At first I was annoyed to be invited to a baby shower for a girl I’m not even particularly close to but then I reframed, realized this ginger girl is going to have a little ginger baby with her ginger husband, and frankly now I don’t even care if it’s just a gift grab.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

It’s been 24 hours since I learned who Soph is and my thinking has done a 180. This is not a normal or healthy hobby for a 9th grade girl and in the long run her fate may not be much better than that of Desmond is Amazing.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Making a whole lasagna is something that seems like a good idea when you first decide to do it but then you inevitably regret it when you’re still eating it a week later.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Pretty sure the implication is not an admonishment of millennial fathers, but of their baby boomer dads who didn’t teach them anything.

New York Post

@nypost

5 years

Millennial dads have pathetic DIY skills compared to baby boomers

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Imagine living in a society that worships the false gods of diversity, fame, and conspicuous consumption, and then calling some random people running around the woods neopagans.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Four years from now it’s going to be Dan Crenshaw versus Nikki Haley and we’re all going to kill ourselves, huh?

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Is the sexualization of the violent dismemberment of unborn babies to pursue transient and worldly pleasure peak 2019 white woman feminism?

Miley Cyrus

@MileyCyrus

5 years

Very special collab with @PPFA @happyhippiefdn @marcjacobs TO BE ANNOUNCED veryyyyyy soon! #WomensRightsAreHumanRights #DONTFUCKWITHMYFREEDOM 🎂💒🚺 🎂💒🚺🎂💒🚺

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

This is the real horseshoe theory.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Good morning to everyone except people who don’t call and visit their living grandparents regularly. I realize not everyone can have as bigoted grandparents as I do, but it’s still no excuse.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I’ve never dated anyone to the right of Ronald Reagan or Rand Paul. Maybe this is why I’m not married. Pls no DMs.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I don’t have any sympathy for Asians. They might have a harder time getting into Ivy League schools, but at least they can get away with publicly hating black people.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Hi! My name is Reese. 😘😘😘

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

If someone recorded a video of me doing my job, I might regret not putting on a little more makeup that day, but no one would have leverage to threaten me and I would have no reason to be ashamed. Huh, maybe not all choices are equally valid after all...

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Chicago: come for the overrated pizza, stay for the rampant political corruption, crippling gang violence, and *checks notes* black lesbian mayor.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Where do you see yourself in five years?

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Honestly this thread is so pathetic that I’m never going to make fun of her again.

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@swordsjew

5 years

It's true: only 2 students signed up for my class. Here's some other hot news for Jon and his editors: Once I threw a VERY elaborate theme party in college and no one came. In high school, a bunch of boys stole my journal & read my sex fantasies about my English teacher aloud. 1/

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Wth is it interracial couples weekend here? I literally saw four walking for less than a mile. Very uncool.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

A good sign that you’re in civilizational free fall is when 1986 Madonna starts looking like a paragon of virtue in comparison to some mainline Protestant ministers.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Imagine your wife telling all of twitter that she won’t sleep with you indefinitely. I bet he self identifies as a feminist without her prompting and is really confused too. “But I’m such a supportive ally!”

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

“Only 48 of 50 states broadcasted the Arthur gay marriage special. Conservatives are winning the culture war!” -David French, probably

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

There’s a special place in Hell for people who doxx their friends. It’s called Ptolomea and it’s special because you can end up there while you’re still alive.

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@womperspoon

5 years

Globalism is sharing the same strand of chlamydia with someone half way around the world and thinking that’s a sign of progress.

CNN

@CNN

5 years

One in every 25 people globally, on average, has at least one of four sexually transmitted infections: chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, and syphilis, according to new figures

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Family cookout nword count: 2 They can do better than this!

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

It’s possible for a tiny acct to go viral bc of quality content but it’s rare & odds are much of the best OC goes totally unappreciated. Meanwhile huge blue check accounts tweet trash but the twitter algorithm keeps them on top. Twitter is a meritocracy as much as America is one.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

What good is white privilege if I have to wait on a tennis court while colored people play?

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@womperspoon

5 years

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Meatless Monday is fake and gay. This spaghetti sauce I’m making has both ground beef and Italian sausage links.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Witnessing a little kid have a total meltdown at the supermarket and just feeling jealous because I want one. (A kid, I mean. I can already have a meltdown.)

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Good morning to everyone except people who write “retweets don’t equal endorsements” in their twitter bio.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

“Supermodel poses naked to own the men” is... certainly a different approach.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

1 year

Damn

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I once witnessed a girl unironically make an argument that slut shaming is a violation of the NAP and that was the exact moment I knew that libertarianism was not the end of the line in the evolution of my ideological development.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Mighty Ducks 1, 2, & 3 are all on HBOgo. Why would anyone ever watch Game of Thrones?

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

“Women who cover their heads in this country must feel comfortable going outside their homes. Moms who wear cover must be not intimidated in America. That’s not the America I know. That’s not the America I value.” -George W. Bush less than a week after 9/11 NOT A REAL COUNTRY

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

David French probably isn’t even perceived as a thought leader by his wife.

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@womperspoon

5 years

This is unspeakably cruel when you consider that nearly 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. To deny the motherhood of those women is an abomination.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

The missing binoculars that caused the Titanic to sink, Hitler’s art school rejection, Clinton’s decision not to kill Osama bin Laden, and the hour it stopped raining on Gun Girl’s graduation day. Moments that changed the course of history!

Justin Moldow

@JustinMoldow

5 years

This graduation photo almost never happened. It was pouring this day and @KaitMarieox didn't want to take it, but it cleared up for about an hour. I'm so proud of everything you've accomplished since graduating, and will be even more proud to call you my wife next year.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

And from there the decision to become a journo came v naturally.

S.E. Cupp

@secupp

5 years

I grew up wanting to be an FBI agent, then a CIA agent. I’m disgusted to hear that the President of the United States just called some of them “scum.” I hope girls and boys still want to aspire to these honorable jobs.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Whether you’re starting from scratch or returning home, faith will always be difficult at times, but it’s a muscle and if you exercise it regularly it will get stronger—to a point where you surprise even yourself sometimes. Act as of you have faith and faith will be given to you.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

All these women complaining about how they might not have the opportunity to kill their unborn baby and meanwhile I’m over here praying to get pregnant through parthenogenesis.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Non-interventionist Tucker is my favorite Tucker.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I think what I’m really saying is I want to go hiking and fishing and cook over a fire and then sleep in a four star hotel.

Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I want to go camping...in a cabin...with AC

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Second hand emasculation is probably the single most uncomfortable feeling in the world. Why a woman would do this to a man she presumably loves is difficult to comprehend.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Hope Hicks is proof that OTK boots don’t have to look slutty.

kaitlin

@thefactualprep

5 years

I mean...how many bad pictures have you ever seen of Hope Hicks? Be honest. She even looks polished in workout clothes. Come on.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

If you’re in favor of exemptions in cases of rape or incest, you fundamentally misunderstand the pro-life position. I understand if this makes you uncomfortable—it makes me a little bit uncomfortable as well—but I don’t make the rules.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Serious question: am I supposed to be relieved if my brother dies in a conflict that happens to be located in the Western Hemisphere?

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Most women *would* be prettier if they smiled more.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Never forget that in America we have people who do this willingly and attend conventions to meet up with other people who do this willingly.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

This would not have been true a few years ago. I would have seen them and seen people I have nothing in common with.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

I think I’ve become more or less immune to stories about political violence and this seems like a decidedly unhealthy psychological development.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

8 months

My hottest take is that Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy was objectively kind of mid but it didn't stop her from becoming an icon with more than two decades of posthumous influence.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

@AnnCoulter

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@womperspoon

5 years

I don’t think I’ve tweeted about giving blood in a while. Nothing has changed in the interim. It’s still all white people donating and nonwhites drawing. It’s still really good for you and you should do it.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

You can make it from nothing! Yeah, unless we don’t like your politics. Meanwhile the black twitter account that manages to string a coherent sentence together gets like 300k likes literally just because they’re black.

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

Is there anything worse than seeing cold takes from accounts you otherwise respect?

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Womperspoon

@womperspoon

5 years

This is true.

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