Barry Humphries. 1934 - 2023.
One of my comedy heroes has left us. His subversive comedy always made us laugh until we hurt and we’ll still laugh with him and his creations for evermore.
Today, these words from Dame Edna’s BBC show in 2019 seem fitting.
Thank you, possum.
Where does one begin with this?
When people have paid (a lot of) money to see the lead in ‘The Bodyguard’ musical do her thing, it's because they want to hear *her* sing ‘How Will I Know’, not Debbie from Macclesfield.
Eyes front, phones off and keep quiet.
For as long as I’ve know him, and before,
@jordannorth1
has wanted to present drive on Radio 1.
He’s grafted for years and today, that dream becomes a reality for him and
@VickNHope
.
I couldn’t be prouder.
As they say in the theatre, ‘break a leg’, both of you. Xx
🚨ATTENTION MEN🚨
I don’t care how hot it is, or how hot you think you are, it is not appropriate to walk around in public or in shops with your top off.
Thank you.
He’s not even finished his last BIG SHOW on
@bbcradio2
but Steve Wright is already missed by the nation.
Thank you for keeping us all entertained for so long.
We *loved* the show, Steve.
#SteveWrightInTheAfternoon
Unbelievably proud watching
@jordannorth1
tonight.
That was his idea of absolute hell.🐍
His fear of enclosed spaces is so severe and he loathes snakes (who doesn’t?)
The fact he just did that is AMAZING and I hope the British public take note.
#GetBehindJordan
Please, everyone who can watch, do give him your full support for the show. He’s genuinely one of the nicest, funniest and most genuine people I know.
I hope all viewers enjoy the great ability for generosity, kindness and loyalty Jordan has.
Jordan, I love you. Good luck xx
Archie’s first word may have been ‘crocodile’, according to The Duke of Sussex, but it’s not nearly as fun as Princess Margaret’s son’s.
His word was (according to his mother) ‘chandelier’.
🏝 The ultimate G&Diva summer holiday in Benidorm! 🏖
Jordan is taking William to Benidorm, and, the best bit is… you can join in the fun! Thanks to
@AmazonMusicUK
we’re taking a load of lucky G&Divas on holiday to the Costa Blanca!
Tag in the mate that you'd bring with you!
Talking about the incomparable
@jordannorth1
@imacelebrity
on
@thismorning
from 10am.
Here’s our final few moments together before he left for Wales.
(Yes, we were recreating Mary Poppins Returns around the lamppost.)
Highly inappropriate and distasteful for people to start posting photos of themselves outside
#NotreDame
.
Yes, you’ve been. Many, many people have.
The tragedy in Paris is not about you.
🚨EMERGENCY ETIQUETTE DECREE🚨
Due to the adverse heat in the UK, where you would normally say hello to a friend with a social kiss or a hug it is now totally acceptable to greet them with “please don’t touch me... or come anywhere near me.”
#furnacefriday
It’s Christmas Eve and I’ve just been taken into something called Nandos.
They make you pay before you’ve even tried their food, which I feel is somewhat of a liberty.
Thank you to everyone who took part in
#pickytree
this year.🎄What larks we had!
As with the very nature of decorating a tree, it’s all just a bit of camp old nonsense.
Thank you to those who submitted their efforts and didn’t mind me being a festive b***h. Happy Christmas. Xx
Whatever happens tonight, I’m proud to wear my
@burnleyfc
charity t-shirt, gorge myself on processed carbohydrates in 50 shades of beige from Iceland and cheer on my friend.
He’s already won in my eyes, really, despite the official outcome.
Please everyone who can - vote.
Jordan North is in the final of
@imacelebrity
...... WE CANT BELIEVE IT!!!
Thank you everyone who voted! We need you for one more day....
#JordanToWin
VOTE FOR JORDAN!!!!!
To vote by phone 📞
09020 44 24 06
To vote by Mobile 📱
6 44 24 06
Download the App for 5 free votes
Pinch me! A total honour to welcome Queen Alex Polizzi, the Hotel Inspector, to
@sextedmyboss
.
You can hear
@jordannorth1
and my attempt to conduct a vaguely normal conversation, in between the hyperventilating, on today’s bonus episode.
Following
@thismorning
from earlier I am HORRIFIED that so many a) do and b) admit to weeing in the shower.
I shall say this: men and women may very well do it, but gentleman and ladies do not.
Thank you everyone for watching and supporting
@jordannorth1
tonight on
@imacelebrity
.
Lots asking me what I thought of it all...
... the good news is that you can hear every thought that
@bajcartwright
and I had tomorrow on
@sextedmyboss
.
PLUS we talk to Jordan’s mum!
When my brother
@jhansonradio
was 4 years old he hit me round the face with a saucepan when one of my baby teeth refused to fall out.
I suspect Liz Truss may be feeling similar today after her rounds with him and his wonderful BBC local radio colleagues.
Modern manners:
Tired of signing your emails 'with every best wish', 'many thanks' or similar?
Why not try: 'Keep feeling positive and testing negative'.
You're welcome.
In the 20th century people announced engagements in newspapers.
In the 21st century people now announce engagements in podcasts.
The times change and we change with them…
Thank you for all the lovely messages.
G and Divas, thank you for voting to keep
@jordannorth1
in the castle for a bit longer. I can’t take the stress every night but I know he and everyone appreciates it. Please keep voting!
More on the daily
@sextedmyboss
tomorrow with my guest
@ScarlettMoffatt
.
#getbehindjordan
I’m afraid to report, Hyacinth fans and Bucketheads, we’ve had a Royal Doulton and hand-painted periwinkle-related incident.
In the words of Mrs Bucket, “The chalice broken on the wheel, the pitcher shattered at the fountain…”
I thank Steve Jobs and his Apple colleagues for many things.
But giving people the ability to FaceTime without headphones in restaurants and on public transport is not one of them.
Am truly delighted with the news regarding our future Queen Consort.
So now seems a good a time as ever to present my collection of images of Camilla with her head in things.
A future consort but a present comedian. Carry on, Ma’am!
Mobile
#etiquette
: your phone should be switched to silent mode when it’s held in your hand.📱
You don’t need to hear it ping or ring when you can easily see the notifications flash.
Also - I hope half the coffee shop I’m in currently see this tweet... 🤞🏻
Local radio is the most BBC thing the BBC does. It must continue. No other media outlet serves that demographic in the same way.
Hearing
@TheOfficialJVS
today was heartbreaking, but each caller made the case eloquently as to why local radio should stay.
I think I may begin handing out cheap earphones to all the fools who think it’s okay to sit in a cafe, restaurant, train etc and watch videos or make FaceTime calls without plugging in their own headphones.
Expensive but effective?
This is my wonderfully talented, politer and better looking brother,
@jhansonradio
.
Tomorrow he begins hosting duties for
@bbcrb
Breakfast.
I’m so proud of him and have my alarm set for 6am. If you live in Bristol you should too!
Marvellous diplomacy as ever from Prince William who used good humour to make the lady panic less - and then he engaged her in a longer conversation than usual. Good stuff.
But also a solid reason why hat pins are always useful.
Ever read ‘Room on the Broom’ by Julia Donaldson?🧙♀️ 🧹
This was the moment when, like for her character, her hat blew off.
(The key differences being Donaldson is not a witch, she was not riding a broomstick & she was at Buckingham Palace at the time!!)
Thank you to my credit card company who quickly twigged that £256.72 had been fraudulently spent on my card in the supermarket Morrisons today.
"Mr Hanson, you have only ever shopped in Waitrose and Sainsbury's so we suspected this purchase wasn't you...".
PUBLIC TRANSPORT MASK ETIQUETTE 😷
You do not need to (and should not) remove your facemask to answer your mobile phone.📱
They will still be able to hear you through the mask. 👂
Thank you. 🙏🏻
But alas he doesn’t know that the bottom button of a waistcoat should be left unfastened and that tie-clips aren’t meant to be visible, but aside from that...
Ghislaine Maxwell is reportedly teaching etiquette classes for fellow inmates.
According to a source, the twice-weekly classes address “how to behave and talk in a professional manner [and] the secrets of success in the corporate world.”
Would you ever do the school run or enjoy a hotel breakfast in your pyjamas? How about browsing the aisles in your dressing gown? 🤢
I certainly wouldn’t. It shows very low personal standards if you do.
Talking about this on
@thismorning
today from 10.30am
@ITV
.
The curtain has now fallen on the
@sextedmyboss
2021 tour.
It always amazes me people listen to the podcast yet alone come to the live shows.
Thank you to everyone who joined us; we couldn’t have asked for nicer, more enthusiastic crowds.
During my children’s etiquette class today in China I asked the group why it’s not polite to talk openly about money.
“Because you may get murdered”, a 5 year old girl replied.
This, everyone, is a very, very, very lovely tree and a very subtly curated use of colour. A few wayward branches up top, to be critical, but I can’t stop admiring this. 9.6/10.
@OwenJones84
It’s not about the anorak (or the tie), it is the fact he chose to distinguish himself from everyone else, thus drawing attention to him and away from the purpose of the event, remembering the fallen.
PARENTS: As it’s half term, it’s time to revise etiquette for public transport and your children.👨👩👦👦👨👨👧👧👩👧👦
At busy times, children over the age of 5 should give up (or at least offer) their seats to adults.
It’s an essential way to teach them respect for their elders.🚌🚎🚇
At the sixth form school I was speaking to today one of the boys said I looked like James Bond (!).
A considerable upgrade from last week when a pupil told me I looked like a dolphin.
A man sitting next to me in the cinema earlier was repeatedly, unashamedly, using his phone as the film played.
Texting, browsing BBC News, and even playing Words with Friends (Scrabble).
It wasn’t long before he felt the rough edge of my tongue.
Gareth Southgate’s waistcoat bottom button is always left unfastened, as is correct.
A custom that dates back to Edward VII who was so fat he couldn’t fasten his bottom button; so it became the custom for his courtiers to not fasten theirs in order to not offend.
#WorldCup18
Sexy Fish clearly state their dress code on their website for all to see.
Jess Glynne is churlish to kick off about being refused entry when she clearly violated their policy on several levels.
A hoodie is fine to wear around the house but is not appropriate for a restaurant.