alyx! 🐾🪩 @whinymike Twitter profile

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alyx! 🐾🪩

@whinymike

2 years

hey liam congrats on strip that down being the 91st most streamed song of all time on spotify!!! oh wait- that’s actually Youngblood by 5 Seconds of Summer

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@whinymike

2 years

calums reaction to 5sos having sold 2 million concert tickets is makes me wanna burst into tears

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@whinymike

2 years

can’t believe ashton irwin got on twitter just to call calum a slut

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@whinymike

2 years

ashton irwin in his greaser era ; a very necessary thread

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@whinymike

2 months

guys i say this with all the love in my heart that i think dans acting has improved but phil’s is still like this

maria 🦇

@vampinof

2 months

their acting is so bad i love them so much

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@whinymike

2 years

my worst fear is meeting 5sos, telling a joke, and it not landing.

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@whinymike

2 years

i’m a simple woman, i see a photo of calum hood and i burst into tears.

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@whinymike

2 years

i just KNOW wildflower would’ve been the song of the summer in 2020 if the pandemic hadn’t happened

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@whinymike

2 years

ashton irwin is the dilf of the year and he don’t even have kids

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@whinymike

8 months

what if i make the dan and phil cocktails for new years

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@whinymike

2 years

i’m gonna throw something

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@whinymike

2 years

i can't believe ashton openly admitted he was late to the session where they wrote moving along cause he was fuckin too hard the night before

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@whinymike

2 years

fuck this is giving me michael flashbacks

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@whinymike

2 years

caramel is DEFINITELY the horny song of the album no doubt about it

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@whinymike

8 months

something about these two dan and phil and dogs pictures

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@whinymike

2 years

currently wanting to bite luke hemmings

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@whinymike

2 years

ashton irwin walked on stage in a black v-neck, cowboy boots, a studded belt, and blue jeans and all the air left my body

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@whinymike

1 year

it’s crazy being at a concert with casual concert people like what do you mean you’re not stressed

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@whinymike

2 years

this is the most important facebook message ever sent

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@whinymike

6 months

“just be grateful for what we’ve built” GUT PUNCH #TheBachelor

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@whinymike

2 years

i want ashton irwin to break my skull open with his drum stick

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@whinymike

2 years

can i add ashton irwin to my dilf list even though he’s not officially a dilf?

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@whinymike

2 years

i should not be allowed to love luke hemmings with the strength i do

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@whinymike

2 years

ASHTON FUCKING LOOKED ME DIRECTLY IN THE EYE AND MADE FUN OF ME

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@whinymike

8 months

this is somehow the most out of pocket and in pocket thing he’s ever said

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@whinymike

2 months

it’s the contrast between how he says “US WE WERE ONLY MEANT 🤬🤬🤬🤬TO MAKE YOU LIVE💪💪💪💪AGAIN😠😠😠😠” and “👀👀👀us we were pity sex 💁💁💁💁nothing more and nothing less💅💅💅💅

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@whinymike

2 years

i am unable to function this is the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen

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@whinymike

2 years

guys i hate to break it to you but it’s been over a month since luke has tweeted something

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@whinymike

1 year

@ashley_stallion it's the way so many people don't understand how terrible law suits like this are for music and just automatically assume if things sound alike it's copying not the fact that music (and specifically chords and notes that are pleasing to our ears) is inherently finite

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@whinymike

2 years

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@whinymike

2 years

thinking about them 🥺❤️

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@whinymike

2 years

SOMEONE IN THE CROWD JUST GAVE ME A SETLIST BECAUSE THEY SAID THEY SAW ME AND THOUGHT I DESERVED IT

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@whinymike

2 years

THAT PALE WAVES OPENER IS THE GAYEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME AND IVE HAD SEX WITH A WOMAN BEFORE

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@whinymike

1 year

the txt lights waving in the wind at maggie rodgers

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@whinymike

2 years

in wake of today and in preparation for the upcoming tmh shows remember to be aware and look out for the signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke. no concert is worth sacrificing your health or the heath of those around you!

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@whinymike

2 years

this picture… i’m feeling fragile.

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@whinymike

2 years

calum hood should not be allowed to have arms

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@whinymike

2 years

not NEARLY enough people are talking about how good calums vocals are on 5sos5. his range??? INCREDIBLE!!!! his tone???? IMPECABLE!!! his GROWTH??? FUCKING FANTASTIC!!!

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@whinymike

2 years

if you make barricade you literally HAVE to give energy to the openers. if you just stand there you are embarrassing yourself, they can see you dude. it’s not hard to sway and clap.

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@whinymike

6 months

begging people not to camp extreme amounts for the luke shows the venues are small enough that wherever you are is a good spot

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@whinymike

6 months

i blacked out

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@whinymike

8 months

these spot the difference games are getting harder and harder

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@whinymike

9 months

@jaisydaisy_ i feel like dan would talk a big game but ultimately i think it would go to phil like i think dan has more brute strength but phil would employ mind games to become victor

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@whinymike

2 years

people were bitching about barking at the show last night as well and i just don’t get it like the band obviously doesn’t have a problem with it so why do you care????

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@whinymike

2 years

THIS BRIDGE IM FUCKING SCREAMING

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@whinymike

2 years

“where does he think he’s going every night?!?” - my mom on calums outfits

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@whinymike

2 years

violently sobbing over this

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@whinymike

2 years

i just want to sit in silence with calum hood

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@whinymike

2 years

walking @5SOS ad as fuck

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@whinymike

2 years

we owe this man so much and i will literally never stop talking about how much more credit he deserves and how badly i want to pick his brain about the writing process for the 10 year show

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@whinymike

7 months

@pookielester okay but fizzy kind of eats

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@whinymike

7 months

@aarielsos don’t forget!

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@whinymike

2 years

i did not know that was the other half

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@whinymike

2 years

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@whinymike

9 months

@danielhowell i dare ricky gervais to come sent in on one of my classes as a comedy major and watch a bunch of 20 year olds be funnier than him

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@whinymike

2 years

i’m never looking at another photo again

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@whinymike

2 years

in conclusion ashton please do us all a solid and dress up as danny zucko sometime

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@whinymike

2 years

@girlstalktpwk me right now rewatching con katie chats when he says“i went into the studio late because i had a big night of exercising” and luke laughed like BRO WHAT

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@whinymike

1 year

i can’t gate keep this, y’all have to know what i lived through.

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@whinymike

10 months

guess who explained what a .5 was to jason sudekis

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@whinymike

2 years

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@whinymike

2 years

@ashley_stallion not to mention early 5sos is to pop punk as early taylor swift is to country meaning they were making music targeting primarily female audience in a genre that usually excludes young women!!!!

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@whinymike

7 months

@danielhowell thought this looked familiar

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@whinymike

2 years

ikea cashier just looked at my 5sos tote and said “i have t see 5sos merch out in the wild in years i had to double take”

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@whinymike

2 years

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@whinymike

3 months

happy pride to whatever the hell these two got going on

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@whinymike

2 years

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@whinymike

2 years

this is very much giving dilf in the carpool line

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@whinymike

2 years

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@whinymike

2 years

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@whinymike

2 years

stretchy shirtless luke

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@whinymike

2 years

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@whinymike

6 months

@dnpzen phil looking for treasure call that phil chester

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@whinymike

2 years

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@whinymike

2 years

when you meet your bff on a train platform and then your favorite band releases a song with a lyric about trains <3

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@whinymike

2 years

SLAY HOLY SHIT

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@whinymike

2 years

everybody always talks about the luke hemmings gender trap, but what about the calum hood gender trap??? everyday i wake up and want at least one of these genders.