Wally @walliesta Twitter profile

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Wally

8 years

When Benedict Vilakazi had to choose between playing an important game for Pirates under 19 or attending his daughter's 21st party 💔

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

Ayanda’s girlfriend invited us to his Suprise Party and amagents didn’t know they have to shout ‘Suprise’ when he walks in. I heard someone shout ‘Ya Kleva’.

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@walliesta

5 years

How long do you wait before you introduce your girlfriend to your child? For arguments sake let’s say you’ve been dating for 3 years and the child is 6 weeks old.

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@walliesta

5 years

Trevor Noah really stood on a Global stage and told a joke only South Africans could immediately chuckle at. I know a GOAT when I see one.

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@walliesta

5 years

I told my girl she’s obsessed for knowing some of Beyoncé’s dancers by name and she told me I know all of Messi’s team mates. Bro?

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@walliesta

9 years

Time heals all wounds

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@walliesta

6 years

Someone probably said “mara yona ayijumpisi” when they were done fixing the car.

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@walliesta

6 years

Honestly thought Cassie would serve another term in office.

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@walliesta

6 years

People came to the party cause you know kasi things are open invitation. Every new guest kept telling Ayanda ‘Suprise njayam’ and he’d respond ‘Sisonke ntwana’.

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@walliesta

7 years

Zimbabwe: We want you to resign! Mugabe: Hectic...

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@walliesta

5 years

I was the last one in my family to find out my recently divorced cousin Themba is getting married again cause apparently I tell Twitter everything that happens at home.

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@walliesta

5 years

For fucks sake

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@walliesta

6 years

Mpumi shouted “Sik’bambile ntwana”. Mremza went on a solo “Aw she’s a Jolly good felo”. Guys the whole thing was a mess.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

Don't date someone who carries flat shoes to wear when she gets tired of heels. Date someone who can finish what she started.

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@walliesta

6 years

I don’t even think Ayanda understood it was a Suprise Party ‘til his girlfriend explained to him. He kept asking “Why ning’ patreka?”. Guys.

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@walliesta

6 years

I asked his girlfriend to send me the video so you guys know I’m not lying. Heard niggas saying ‘April yibirthday yam gents cele ningenzeleni nam’.

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@walliesta

5 years

My friends and I really grew up thinking a R20K salary gets you a brand new Benz, a house in a upper-middle class suburb and private schooling for your kids SMH

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

Next time we throw someone a Suprise Party we gonna have to rehearse like a Wedding Step cause we can’t go on like this.

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@walliesta

7 years

'Mnandi' 'Grand' 'Over' 'Yizinto' 'Watseba' 'Nex' 'Top' 'Uyacava' 'Sisonke' Preceded by 'Ahhhh' and followed up with 'Wena/Kada?'.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

[Job interview] Interviewer: Says here you're fluent in Afrikaans. Me: Uit die blou van onse helmel I: .. Me: Noot vir noot. 7 De Laan..

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@walliesta

6 years

That’s why khona izinto ‘mele siz’gcine eTV cause one day sizolimala.

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@walliesta

6 years

This cup is to drinkers what Tupperware is to mothers

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Wally

@walliesta

5 years

My girlfriend thinks I just don’t wanna spoil the surprise when I tell her I have nothing planned for us LOOOOOOL

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@walliesta

5 years

This tweet being on 500K retweets tells me there’s a whole other side of Twitter/Life I know nothing about.

방탄소년단

@BTS_twt

5 years

And we met @Drake !!!!!!

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@walliesta

5 years

The WhatsApp call button is really Touch Is A Move.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

Spongbob is those friends who like being the only employed one. Not once has he told Patrick 'Ntwana letha iCV ngizo ringa no Mr Krabs'.

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Wally

@walliesta

7 years

And all those 90s R&B artists who ended their music videos with ‘To Be Continued’ must come finish the story so this generation can find closure.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

My girlfriend just sent me a text saying 'We need to talk'. Apparently we've been singing through the entire relationship.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

Don't know why we can't buy data nge medical aid cause siyafa apha.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

Told my dad I see myself when I look at him. Don't know why he smiled cause that's honestly too much vaseline on his face.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

I once got dumped on the 31st and my whole family had to stop me from pointing the 100-shooter at myself.

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Wally

@walliesta

7 years

You make eye contact with a GTI driver at the robots and he thinks you’re challenging him.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

No one hates Amapiano more than my boy Sizwe.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

When your face says 'Nkosi sikelel' but your name says 'Uit die blou van onse helmel'

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

“I need a man who’ll be able to atleast maintain the standards my parents gave me” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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Wally

@walliesta

5 years

I’ve reached my ‘O jewa ke eng’ limit guys. The editions never end. We’re being harassed now.

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Wally

@walliesta

5 years

AmaPiano chants are getting more vulgar by the week. Everyday we go out siyathukwa.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

Weather yama gwinya ne listeriosis.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

People won't appreciate Zola 7 til there's total darkness in this world and he's the only guy with a matchstick http://t.co/5GpO8wSplK

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

I don't take threats in English seriously. Won't pay Markham account til they send me a letter just saying 'Singaxabani mfethu'.

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Wally

@walliesta

7 years

Would be nice to watch tv on your day off without Desmond Dube reminding you that you and your loved ones are going to die one day.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

When your girl cheats on you with a guy who has no car it means she had to wait for the taxi to get full and she still went through with it.

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Wally

@walliesta

5 years

House Music was going through something really special when it gave us London Roots and Want You In My Soul.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

My grandma has been awarded the tender to host the Christmas family gathering 7 years in a row now. This process has to be audited.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

I'll start lobola negotiations with a PowerPoint presentation of screenshots where she told me 'Ndiyo jiva mna, like it or not'

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

The Rand is currently trading at 'Batho Ba Modimo' to the Dollar.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

If ‘Sonini’ has never made you wanna cry you haven’t listened to it properly.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

Looking for a 25-30 year old woman in Johannesburg who just got her bonus and is looking for a loving and emotionally supportive God fearing man.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

When your mom brings you scones from a funeral it means she thought of your stomach ekufeni. That's the purest form of love.

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Wally

@walliesta

5 years

Are you guys happy with your ancestors’ performance? Have they been meeting their annual objectives?

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

White people can use Gautrain instead of their cars and it's 'Cost effective'. Wena use taxis instead of your car bazothi uhlulwa yipetrol.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

...

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

They testing the microphone before they announce the real increase

EWN Reporter

@ewnreporter

6 years

ALERT: The #Petrolprice will increase by R0.01c on 1 Aug.

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Wally

@walliesta

7 years

Spoiled myself with an avocado today cause you get so caught up in this world and forget to take care of you.

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Wally

@walliesta

5 years

No problem with giving my girlfriend comfort and spoiling her when I can but the whole notion of inheriting a daughter (who refuses to take any responsibility of her lifestyle) is a script I’m not here for.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

Major shoutout to my cousin @Mashochist for obtaining his Masters In Law at Columbia University. #BlackExcellence 🙏

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

🔥🔥🔥

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

Don't know why ATMs don't offer counseling before they show you your account balance.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

Wow. To think I mourned your death Zama Ngwenya.

Linda Mtoba

@Linda_Mtoba

6 years

Men without beards look like potatoes.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

When Mzekezeke gets shot in the legs during a performance and DJ Sbu has to go to work tomorrow and walk like everything is okay 💀💀💀

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Wally

@walliesta

5 years

Chicken Licken still gives you salt sachets for your take aways like they haven’t done enough damage.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

First month of working is the hardest cause you have to find 22 creative ways of wearing the same 3 shirts, 2 trousers and 1 shoe.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

Mufasa: Bafo ngsize ngiyafa! Scar: Shem, Mina futhi? Mufasa: Please Bafo! Scar: God for us all, Guluva for himself http://t.co/IvBn1oQOlt

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

You don't understand why Xhosa ladies love the Savannah cider til you realize in Xhosa it means 'We get along'.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

If you're hosting today, take pictures of all your tupperware so we can retweet for awareness when they go missing.

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Wally

@walliesta

7 years

Don't even decorate your office desk with photos of your loved ones if you're a cabinet member. Just bring a pen and an exam pad.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

My wedding vows are just gonna be 'Sizobona phambili'. Not gonna make promises I can't keep like 'Til death do us part'.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

My grandma once caught me watching etv porn and I pretended to be asleep. My family tried to wake me up for 3 days.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

Bafana Bafana wins when it's really unnecessary. Like car guards who help you reverse out in an empty parking lot.

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Wally

@walliesta

7 years

More than 68% of the South African workforce finish their skhaftin before 11:00am but no one wants to talk about it.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

Ever bought study snacks and ended up eating them while watching back to back episodes of a series ‘til you were too sleepy to study?

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Wally

@walliesta

7 years

Girlfriend @ 13:15 ‘Please stop taking pictures of me, I’m not in the mood’ Girlfriend @ 20:25 ‘Hey babe please send me those pics you took earlier’

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

Stogie T is the only SA rapper I didn’t feel an ounce of nervousness for when it was time for the Sway Freestyle. He bodied it of course.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

My homeboy once lost a fight to his girlfriend’s side guy and he asked her ‘Ukwenzelani lomuntu?’ while he was on the floor 💔

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@walliesta

9 years

Trying to explain to my 4 year old niece exactly why the Father Christmas at Maponya Mall asked us where he can get taxis to Diepkloof.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

Wrote the name Antoinette without having to double check the spelling and I could feel my street cred slip away 💔

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Wally

@walliesta

7 years

On the real though making your girl a part of your everyday life is more romantic to me than 'grand gestures'.

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@walliesta

7 years

Pretending to be also broke in January so people won’t ask you for money >>>>

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@walliesta

6 years

To my girlfriend who acts like she never goes through my tl, I’m asking for my cousin. We not going anywhere. I’m not going to surprise you.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

Is Drake still in the country guys? We need someone to turn Judge Masipa's 6 upside down at least.

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

Don’t rob yourself of dating a Tswana person cause we all deserve to be called ‘Motho waka’ atleast once in our lifetime.

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@walliesta

7 years

My boy Ayanda had donuts for the first time today

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@walliesta

8 years

If our economy keeps suffering like this we're gonna have to ask Lesotho and Swaziland to start paying rent.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

*Simba leaves home and finds some cool guys to hang with. They smoke weed and talk about Nomzamo Mbatha all day* http://t.co/CNryHfjKOQ

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Wally

@walliesta

5 years

‘We dated for 7 years and he married his new girl after 6 months’ Bro I don’t have another seven years to be someone’s boyfriend.

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@walliesta

6 years

Imagine DJ Sbu owes you money and you bump into him as Mzekezeke, but he refuses to break character.

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@walliesta

6 years

For financial and health reasons I’ve decided to step down from this December.

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@walliesta

6 years

It’s the ones you love the most who ask you ‘How many cards?’.

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@walliesta

7 years

Cabinet member are struggling to produce 3 months pay slips 💔💔💔

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

Don't forget to eat bacon to bring justice to all those animals that were oppressed by the pigs on Animal Farm.

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@walliesta

9 years

A black person could be losing a debate from all angles but they can still win the whole debate with one word: 'Oksalayo'.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

Nala: uBusy namaDrugs while uScar uzenzela umathanda kini Simba: Eish babyghel :') Scar: Bulala uScar then sizojola http://t.co/bAMeHahOn8

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Wally

@walliesta

6 years

Gail Mabalane has never taken leave from being absolutely gorgeous.

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Wally

@walliesta

8 years

Guys who fasten the safety belt behind them so the car won't make that beeping noise have the best house music.

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Wally

@walliesta

7 years

I'll never get tired of seeing 'Got the job' tweets.

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@walliesta

6 years

Siyabonga Nomvethe retiring at age 40 makes me respect Oupa Manyisa even more cause he could have made the same decision in 2013.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

My 3 year old nephew must make a CV and go job hunting. He can't be playing with toys while people his age are DJing for the country.

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

Simba: Baba! Baba! Scar: uNgazo rasa la wena san, awuboni kuthi ushonile lomuntu? Futhi ngiyaku'xosha, ku kwam la http://t.co/H663aucasC

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Wally

@walliesta

9 years

Scar: Why uSimba athola ititle deed Mina ngikhona? Mufasa: uDakiwe angithi? S: ukhuluma nami kanjalo bafo? http://t.co/eUuC28rfOh

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