Heath Miller @veryheathmiller Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Its been many years but I often think about the time my mother went to a parent teacher conference & the teacher said ‘look its just that Heath & have a clash of personalities’ & my mother said, ‘Ok but he is 7 and you are a grown adult man.’

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Okay I’ve just been sent some of the greatest hits of Bean Dad and I’m thinking, parenting aside - maybe he’s not that good of a dude? Just throwing that out there.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

Tourist:What breed is she? Me: Samoyed. Them: What’s her name? Me: Lumen. Them: Oh, Luna! Me: No, Lumen. As in a unit of measurement of light. You know like, ‘this bulb produces 470 lumens.’ Them: Oh that’s unusual. Why did you call her that? Me: *knowing smile*

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

What’s an example of a widely used ‘scientific’ concept or terminology that you grit your teeth every time you hear because it is completely discredited yet our culture CANNOT let it go? I’ll go first with two. “Left/Right Brained” & “Alpha Male.” Every time. 🙄

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

I remember like 40 minutes in the teacher getting mad and saying ‘I missed my whole free period arguing with you.’ Looking back on it now, HE WAS MY TEACHER WHY DID HE LET ME STAY AND ARGUE WITH HIM WHAT THE HELL.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

“Daddy lets play the moons of Jupiter!” me: um, okay! Childe: “YOU ARE GANYMEDE, I AM IO! Go!” Me: … *starts to slowly rotate*

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

I think it stemmed from the time I didn’t go with my entire grade 3 class to the library because I stayed behind to argue with that teacher about a reading comprehension question that he marked me wrong for. (I was 100% right, not sorry.)

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

It really drives home that the people teaching us seemed like ancient old-timey adults but were actually sometimes 23 & in as in the case of this particular teacher, often as dumb as a bag of rocks. *whistles*

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

congratulations you invented radio

Dylan Byers

@DylanByers

4 years

The social audio play also means Spotify podcasters like Joe Rogan and Bill Simmons could soon broadcast in real time, rather than on delay, while musicians might one day be able to broadcast their concerts or other recordings live to listeners.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Also he is clearly loving the attention and hoping he can ride it all to more clicks and listeners. How about we all do our best to... not let that happen?

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

I got the distinct & unshakable impression that the librarian in question absolutely loathed her, too. FACULTY POLITICS WOOT WOOT 😂

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Remember how you were constantly confiscating my fiction books because I was supposed to be praying/cheering on a sporting team/doing unpaid grounds maintenance? Well reading books is my job now so there.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

I present to you, THE INTERNET.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

That said, I imagine I was probably A LOT for many of my teachers. (Some liked me though, promise.) I look forward to parent/teacher meetings to come with the Wilde Childe. Whether he turns out to be milde or wilde or somewhere in between. 😊

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Also big shout out to the ignorant & insufferable Head of the Religion department at my Catholic high school who was basically a less formally dressed Dolores Umbrage.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

One time she took one of my books and then lost it & it was from the school’s library. Thankfully she eventually explained (without the merest hint of apology or remorse) to our lovely librarian that yes she had lost the book so I *guess* I shouldn’t lose my borrowing privileges.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

This kind of sentiment both makes me so angry and frustrated. I hear it again and again. Do these people think their kids live in a vacuum? That the kids aren’t shaped by society from birth?

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

@DavidGilbertCCM I am an AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR I wear WHATEVER, COZ YOU CAN’T HEAR CLOTHES. I eat THINGS THAT DON’T REPEAT ON ME BECAUSE STOMACH NOISE IS A BITCH and I like ALL VOCALLY RELEVANT CHARACTER INFORMATION TO BE ON THE FIRST PAGE A CHARACTER IS INTRODUCED if you don't like it DONT LISTEN

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

goddamit autumn is so fucking beautiful how am I supposed to cope

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

2 years

Pre-Hugo Awards Family Photo #worldcon #Chicon8

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

WE ARE SHORT STAFFED PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH THE SENTENCES WHO DID SHOW UP NO WORDS WANT TO WORK ANYMORE

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

How it started How it’s going

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

All you need is love. But maybe take this rock just in case.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

Oh good it's people DMing me to tell me that its not a good look to use my twitter to 'aggressively market' my wife's work. Again. a) who asked you b) I am a fan, I get to publicly dream my fan dreams c) no 4) block 5) YOUR ADVICE JUST MAKES ME WANNA DO IT MORE 🤡)no

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

Thanks to you - beautiful internet fam - for the congratulations & celebrations! Our little family is overwhelmed & overjoyed by your support & enthusiasm. #WildeChilde

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

Before having a child: man I really gotta remember to dust, big house, lots of pictures & ornaments, tsk tsk. With a 3 year old: okay lemme clear this pile of stuff into a tub of junk & put it in the room of crap, there should be some snow boots under there and maybe our cat.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

My father, Michael Miller, a good man, a wonderful father - who helped people both by profession & natural inclination - passed away a few hours ago. A great light has gone out of my life & I feel utterly devastated by his loss.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

You know I feel like the internet at large has forgotten that the ‘this is fine’ dog comes from a 6 page comic spread and this is the last panel. You’re welcome.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

Reading a book of ‘life hacks’ someone gifted me, (which is mostly just Women’s Weekly Home Hints like using soda water on stains but MANLY BECAUSE ITS A ‘HACK’) & came across this page which I respectfully call bullshit on. Servers want to back me up here?

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

I recognition of the fact that I will be spending some of today prepping to run a D&D session tommorow, this morning In Sebastian’s Reading Corner we read from the Monster Manual. From page 1, obviously. *warning, features Guest Abberation (Aquatic)

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

7 years

*movie trailer voice* This September... In a world with two dogs, one cat, six chickens and way too many books, one man and one @catvalente will attempt to do what no-one… well… I guess what lots of people have done before, but it’s new to us so indulge me: RAISE A HUMAN CHILD.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

Hullo Tweeterpeeps. I got some good news yesterday that I would like to share with you all. My Petition to Adjust my Status to a United States Lawful Resident was approved yesterday. So to put it in the popular parlance - I got me a green card!

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Yet again people assure me I can’t in fact be suffering from 12 mths of pandemic isolation, because I have a family. Love that for me. Discounting other people’s distress based on their perceived circumstances is tight! Congratulations to all those out there winning at being sad

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

There are upsides and downsides to living with Maine Coons and one of the downsides has to be how well their considerable heft helps them sound REALLY QUITE A LOT like a human being walking up the stairs. At midnight. This tweet brought to you by Lord Byron. I hope.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

Artist: Sebastian Wilde. Mixed media. Title: Studies in Entropy #4 (part of an ongoing series.)

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

No-one: Hey heath tell us about your latest domestic purchase? Me: I’M SO GLAD YOU ASKED. I bought a WEIGHTED BLANKET after years of reading about them & thinking they might help with my insomnia. No-one: how heavy is it? do you like it? Me: it is 30lbs & it’s my new best friend.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

I have a lifetime of drama classes man, this stuff is still CHALLENGING 😂

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

One year ago this smol human came into the world. His first words were Good Boy, and so far he hasn’t done too much to contradict that. Here’s to 365 days of you turning my world upside-down & getting those little fingers all up in my heart-meats, kid. Love you right in the face.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Well @catvalente just bought the whole (outside, masked) bar a round of whatever they wanted! 😂 There was cheering. Then one dude: did you just win something? Cat: YEAH, WE WON AMERICA!

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

@crazyjane13 I went to a therapist once and they started almost immediately by saying, ‘Men usually…’ & I politely but firmly said ‘I’d prefer if you don’t use gender essentialist language or make generalizations about my traits based on gender as I personally find it reductive & offensive’

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

America: the country where toys inside chocolate are too dangerous to be sold, but assault rifles are freely available for purchase. This tweet brought to you by my unfulfilled desire for a Kinder suprise and my anxiety over my child being gunned down in his future classroom.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

The fact that the staffers at Mr Skin have clearly gone back through all 29 of Elliot Page's scenes to change his pronouns and refer to him as Mr Page exists at such a compelling intersection of being thoroughly heartwarming while remaining sincerely sleazy.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

It just occurred to me that I may not have posted a photo of Baron Lumen Von Spaceghost asleep for some time, maybe even since she was a puppy. Most likely because -being composed of Energy & Chaos - napping is hardly her natural state. It does OCCASIONALLY happen though. Proof:

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

A million years ago when I was studying photography at college I had this Wim Wenders quote lettered on the front of my notebook: “The camera is a weapon against the tragedy of things, against their disappearing.”

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Sometimes everything is rather a lot and you just gotta lay down on the floor with your wombat. I feel you, kid.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

Okay so I know there are more important things in art & life but @catvalente HAS A SAUSAGE SKEWERED ON HER SPACE CROWN AT A HUGO AWARDS PARTY AND ITS THE MOST ON BRAND THING EVER AND MAKES ME HAPPY. Also hungry.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

You know I really thought we were going to lose Lord Byron. The prognosis wasn’t good. Still no idea what was wrong with the noble beast, but he was on death’s door. So, so, so happy we have more time with him.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

Everyone has a different kind of Crud to contend with, but gotta say as a parent of a too young to be vaccinated kid I’m pretty tired of weighing up exposure vs experience. *throws up hands* I was just led to believe there would be more library storytimes & ballpits in our future

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

I know I said I was taking a twitter break, but my Dad’s not doing well and going in for one more surgery about now so if any of you have a spare thought amoung all *gestures hopelessly* this for a kind man & great father who’s job is helping people well... please think it.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

Just heard a passing child, in conversation with their parent, refer to our house as ‘the one with the Magic Dog & the Singing Man’ & honestly we could do a lot worse, I’ll take it, kiddo.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

Well after 2 years of the Wilde Childe playing in our local cemetery, and me explaining patiently that the headstones are the resting places of *people* so he has to be respectful... today he started hugging & kissing each one he went past & saying “Hello Friend!” then ‘Byeee!”

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

Counterargument: Muppets Tonight was great and the 90’s failed *IT* by letting it die after 22 episodes.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

So far this Dadding business is a pretty sweet gig. I’ll keep you all posted though.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

I cannot tell you how pleased I am at how much raccoon kits screaming can sound like a child in fatal distress. When you work in a boatshed in a forest, and also happen to have a child, it is the gift that keeps on giving.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Wilde Childe taking the concept of Babysitting way way too literally.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

Upstairs working and you clearly hear a door open downstairs knowing full well your partner is asleep? Don’t worry its just a MAINE COON WHO CAN OPEN REGULAR HUMAN DOORS as long as they don’t need a key. #LordByron

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Well I guess I can put ‘American folks in my timeline showing they got a covid vaccine’ in that same basket with ‘Australian/NZ folks enjoying something like a normal life’. The basket labelled ‘Genuinely Happy For You But Also Super Jealous’.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

Also I was at a meditation retreat for 5 days where they made us fast (yes it was basically a cult, I got out of there once I realized) so I didn’t eat any sweets & by day five I probably would have killed my whole tent for a mint-slice biscuit.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

Eight years ago today, at the 68th #worldcon I was walking in to Room 207 at the Melbourne Convention centre to hear an author I had just recently discovered read some of her work. Be careful listening to wise women weave stories, folks - you never know where you might end up.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

And the plot of both shows relies on them leaving their infant charges entirely unsupervised for irresponsibly long stretches of time.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Wilde Childe realizing that as well as ‘birbs’ his nursery wall tree also has a ‘SKWUL!’ and being beyond thrilled at the discovery. A play in three acts.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

“I don’t drink... milk.”

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

2 years

The Childe has the requisite enthusiasm for eating deserts & the fine motor skills one would expect of a three year old. However he DESPISES being messy & has a somewhat idiosyncratic vocabulary. Hence: *holding up sticky hands in horror* “DADDY, THIS CANNOT BE BORNE!” 😂

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Lord Byron just attacked his dinner with more gusto than I think I have ever seen and shut up I’m not crying you’re crying

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

At your nephews 6th birthday party. Slowly. Methodically. Insist no one sings or even talks while you do the entire cake. Make eye contact with the birthday boy throughout.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

7 years

My unpopular opinion for the day: lo there is a vile curse on gaming and the name of that curse is the demon Multiplayer and he rides astride two bone horses one skeletal foot on Open World & the other atop Crafting and his weapon is a flaming scythe called Microtransactions.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

We’ve caught #wildechilde up on S01 & 2 of ‘The Good Place’ and he is all ready for tonight’s premier episode - much like @catvalente and I- he is very curious to see where they take this season.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

The book has something suspect on practically every page, honestly. OKAY AUTHOR, LETS DO A LITTLE EXPERIMENT. I’LL DOWN THESE 11 CUPS OF ESPRESSO, ONE EVERY HOUR AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS BASKET OF GRANNY SMITHS AND WE’LL SEE WHO IS UP AT THE END OF IT.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Shortly after waking to see to Wilde Childe I remembered we are out of orange juice and groaned in dismay ‘Well what is even the point of being alive.’ to which Childe replied, ‘Penguins’ so I guess he got me there. Good morning. *grumbles in no-juice purgatory*

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

For those of you attending #boskone , please be aware that it seems the parent company of Westin Hotels is Weyland-Yutani & take any necessary precautions to prevent any further such incidents as depicted in the following security footage.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Yes, thank you.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

Sebastian, what would your reaction be if I told you that the onesie you are currently wearing was last worn by your father 38 years ago? And your Nanna saved it all this time and sent it 15,000 miles because that’s just how she rolls? I KNOW, RIGHT?

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

2 years

“LAAAAAAA!”

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

As it seems that @catvalente 's SPACE OPERA is nominated for a motherflipping Best Hugo award I shall take this time, to point out that the audiobook (for which there is no Hugo category, nor in fact are there ANY audio Hugo categories - glaring omission) is read by yours truly.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

Double Vaccine All The Way Across the Sky

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Hello twitter please gently inform the person below that she might perhaps be not quite so hard on herself for said book taking a long time because ACTUALLY she wrote several short stories, essays & A NOVELLA as well as MAKING AN ENTIRE SMOL PERSON while she was working on it.

Catherynne M. Valente

@catvalente

4 years

I can not believe I just finished this novel. It’s taken so much longer than any one I’ve ever written. It’s been hanging over my head for so long. I think that finally means I’m over the pregnancy and newborn phase fog. I get to write new things now.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Public Service Announcement: these are the Wilde Childe’s new (2nd hand, new to him) shoes. That is all, please go about your business.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

2 years

This mug just appeared in our cupboard, and it is amazing.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Happy Birthday to Sebastian Wilde Valente Miller, voted MVP (Most Valuable Progeny) three years running, 2020, 2019, 2018.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Dad Update: Just spoke to him! Actual conversation. He’s listened to my (3) little recordings. Seems to be doing well. Very keen on getting out of the hospital. (on his feet, not the other way...) I shall allow myself to be cautiously optimistic.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

“Ok, so what are you going to do?” “Uh... hmmm, ah - I’m going to take the forest path?” “The one by the spooky old house that leads into the woods?” “Yup” “You sure?” “Yes!” “Okay fine....” ROLL FOR INITIATIVE.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

*Childe eats a crumpet & sips milk reflectively while contemplating the gentle fall of frost outside* Me: *with enthusiasm* YOU WANNA GO PLAY IN THE SNOW LATER, BAST?? Childe: *with equal enthusiasm* No! I see it through the window.” 😂 ⛄️ ❄️

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

rocketship undergoing scheduled maintenance between missions

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

@themaxburns It is his birthday today. David Tennant as the Doctor (Doctor Who) & Killgrave (Jessica Jones.)

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

2 years

“Daddy, what do you want to be when you grow up?” “Good question. I’m already a bit grown up, but we always have more growing to do! An actor & your dad, both of which - luckily- I already am. And happy, of course.” *Childe considers my answer* “I’m gonna be a tree.”

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

Tired: Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Slytherin et al. Wired: Pfizer, Moderna, AstroZenca, etc (The online sorting hat came through for me earlier today, so I'll see some of you in the Pfizer common room some time around May 15th...)

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

*whispers* can I share another amazing review? "The audiobook was narrated by South African Heath Miller who did did a very nice job. I think I've listened to one other book narrated by her and she's been good. She's not on my list of top narrators but she does a good job."

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

“One day I will come for this child....”

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

An uncle bought him a pea-coat for Christmas & at first he wouldn’t wear it - “No silly, that’s Daddy’s coat!” but I pantomimed how it absolutely most certainly would not fit me and was definitely his & now I think he has rather taken to it. #CoatLife

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

6 years

Its not yet 9am and @catvalente is already serving Fierce Hospital Gown Realness. (everything is fine, no cause for concern, twitterpeeps)

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Yesterday, around this time, my Grandmother - Margaret Edith Meagher (née Walton) passed away. She was 90 years old, & loved by many. Me included. She will be dearly, dearly missed.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

Wilde Childe met Granddad Mike for the first time today. It went well. (Not pictured behind camera: son who has slept 4 hours over the past 4 days & hadn’t seen his Dad for 4 years until moments before this, blubbing... ) #OzTrip

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

4 years

Today, I’m finding all of this incredibly hard. My optimism tank is empty, my cabin-fever meter is in the red, my coping mechanisms have cogs flying off left and right & I just want to curl up in a ball in the dark. Wilde Childe likes hammocks though, so that’s something I guess.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

5 years

’ve already run into it with other parents. And if I gently suggest that maybe they could be less gendered in the way they treat MY kid, they smile indulgenty and say ‘boys and girls just like different things, you’ll see.’ Fish just don’t know that they are wet. Its maddening.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

2 years

If someone could photoshop a stillsuit onto Totoro here, I would be in your debt. “You were not born to the spice as I was, human.”

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

2 years

new kitten, who dis?

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

He asked if I had found a replacement for my shift. I told him that no, I hadn’t. But I had done him the courtesy of calling immediately after I dragged my bike out of traffic. His response: “Well if you haven’t found someone then you’ll have to work.” So I believe ANYTHING.

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Heath Miller

@veryheathmiller

3 years

*serious Childe voice* “Mona Lisa wants me to have FIVE raspberries, Daddy. Mus be FIVE!” *suspicious but obliges* 30 seconds later:

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