vaporous ford @vaporous_ford Twitter profile

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Tits or ass? bro her hair that she lets me curl over her ear, that brushes against my hands like velvet

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Tits or ass? Bro the nape of her bare neck when she's wearing a dress, its curve into her shoulders, like a sandstone slope luminous under a full moon

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

14 days

I do think there is something wrong with me, I have a hinge match who is really hot, way more attractive than me, who wants to go on a date after I asked her out w/ an unnaturally direct line that felt corny. Anyways. I just don't feel enthusiastic about the date and have been

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Any other guys ever deliberately acted in a certain way to disrupt a woman's interest in you?

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

4 months

@Samtanic_Panic When is the HR meeting?

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

11 months

Does anyone actually believe this?

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

There needs to be a B-league dating app for people (including me). An app just for the "boring" down to earth types who haven't been to 50 countries and don't have scuba diving pics and don't mind low key living. Maybe call it "The B League"

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

14 days

I think ideally I would meet someone organically by chance and we would just talk and be drawn to each other and feel some mutually electric connection that cannot be snuffed out. I think that feels a lot more *right* This whole app matching thing just feels forced

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

4 months

@zeta_globin Why would you not eat the skin

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

The fact that bay area USPS mail couriers are getting robbed on their routes is proof of just how fucking stupid and mentally broken some criminals are. That can land you a 20 year sentence. For stealing mail. The risk/reward calculus are so broken.

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

This guy is a textbook example of one of those guys who lots of women are into and you, as a man, have absolutely no idea why

Lukas Battle

@lukasbattle

1 year

Me ordering an almond croissant

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

14 days

Now I have to worry about putting my best foot forward, how I will dress, trying to be "charming" (whatever that means...,), and yapping abt random shit trying to keep a convo going It shouldn't have to feel this hard and this forced

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Jeez I'm talking to 4 women at once on hinge rn this is overwhelming, how do women do this

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

18 days

Genuinely shocked

ylareia

@Impish_Bunny

18 days

@vaporous_ford try "yo shawty wassup" next time

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

My Aella fantasy ends with me laying my life down on the line for my queen. Perhaps in the process of rescuing her from a deranged simp. The ultimate sacrifice. Fulfilling my duty as part of the queensguard. She'll confess her monogamous love for me as the life leaves my lungs

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

14 days

Is my brain not supposed to work this way? Should I be on antidepressants? I want to feel drawn to someone like our respective joy is amplified whenever we talk with each other, and I dread the first minute or two of awkwardly greeting a match and getting our table together...

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

How many of Peter Thiel's blood boys did it for free, for the love of the game?

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

9 months

Jfc never seen someone milk every last drop out of a doxxing like this

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

4 months

@zeta_globin I feel like wrt heavy metals the skin is the least concern, like that mercury will be all throughout the flesh of the fish from its diet

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

14 days

I don't think I should feel like I'm broken bc of all this but it seems like most guys don't feel this way? Sorry, I am what I am, someone has to be. I like running, I like cooking, I listen to The Killers sometimes, I like riding a bike at dusk, I'm not long for this modern life

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

@sbinslashessend They'd ask the vim engs generic programming interview questions and they'd ask the emacs engs how often they showered, if they flossed, what deodorant they used, etc

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Tits or ass? Bro her shoulder blades and their stark lines that caress shadows, an untamed loveliness she lets me trace with my fingers, as if it were a fire tucked away from the world, its warmth entrusted only to me to feel

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

@ctjlewis as if you're doing anything cool outside at 10pm your time

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

9 days

Against the odds, the plot continues

vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

16 days

My odds of getting a reply are not looking so good

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

Part of the reason technical founders like Gates and Allen and Bezos have God-like reverence in the valley is bc everyone knows they went full bug-man mode to build their companies.

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

Yud's bit is so fucking boring. Blah blah blah the end of humanity is here, we are all going to die, blah blah blah. Yet the dude cheeses with sam altman for internet clout. Find a new slant bro

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

I stg if i see one more millennial 20-something woman doing the LA/SF <-> NYC <-> Living abroad pipeline while not pulling a tech salary, my midlife crisis will kick into overdrive. Seriously how tf do you afford that? Are you not worried about the tax nightmares?

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

How can we make male SWEs have the same sexy bad boy vibes as line cooks?

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

Imagine thinking stealing mail is a good idea, stealing 10 lbs of junk mail, getting caught, and being sent to prison for 15 years

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

11 months

are you fucking kidding me

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

Embarrassed to admit it took me years to fully understand that decomposing code into smaller methods does not at all guarantee readability lmao

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 month

A lot of the time i just make slop

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

@AngeloRobertsJr you run a podcast bro, you're lucky your only punishment is staying up til 10pm

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

15 days

My hot take is that it takes basically no running talent for a healthy adult male to BQ/hold 6:50 pace for a marathon

null

@nullpointered

15 days

How tf do you maintain a sub 7:00 pace for a marathon

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

@proetrie But she loves her dogs, it's responsibility and it may seem odd to ppl who don't like dogs but that can be said of a lot of other hobbies w/ outsiders looking in. If it occupies her time and she's happy then that's not a bad choice in life

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

25 days

Committed to living like a trad peasant but she has a fucking kitchenaid mixer, get the fuck outta here

𝕏 Cuisines

@XWorldCuisines

28 days

Turkish Eggs 🎥 ballerinafarm | IG

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

@girllbossing I'll do my part and wear it to boost my fertility

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Thought I'd do a thread on Eyes Wide Shut, which is, in my opinion, the best movie about marriage that has ever been made.

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Tits or ass? Bro her hair in the morning when I wake with her in my arms, remember its untamed curls and bends, as if it were a great silken river, scents of lilac and Spring blooms and memories of the first time I embraced her around her waist

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Tits or ass? Bro her eyes, how they eddied over me that night we met, her gaze left me riven, as though every clock in the world were set by my heartbeat. I will never forget the way we felt, ravenous to feel, to live, to break through the serried April gloom with blossoming love

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

@cauchyfriend It's such bullshit dude. They can't work outside of 9-5 so west coasters are stuck catering to that cutoff time. So we have to dedicate our mornings-middays to east coast-relevant work

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

14 days

sorry

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Tits or ass? Bro when she stands there in the sand with the quiet receding embrace of the water around her ankles as she turns her gaze towards me, a soft knowing smile on her face, as if the tide rises and falls by her mere presence alone

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

16 days

My odds of getting a reply are not looking so good

Brian Graham

@iroasmas

18 days

@vaporous_ford @Impish_Bunny yarrrr do you want to watch heat

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

@enlightenedcoop the urbanist fetishization has taken "trad" dates from us, the likes of which are now relegated to certain parts of mid-US and old movies you can't take your girl to the carnival to shoot air rifles & drive around in bumper cars while Friday I'm in Love plays on the speakers

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

@HedonistRat You should try not crying during sex

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

8 days

🤭

vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

8 days

I am shooting my shot

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 month

Watch this pass 20 likes, fucking bullshit dumbass bird site

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

9 months

@nullpointered bait

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Once a woman asked me if I had noticed that another female coworker was pregnant, while I was in front of them both I said nothing, I just backed away slowly then turned around and walked off

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

11 months

it's amazing how women think calling a guy cute is a good compliment

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

10 days

@alexthegrreat @Nexuist Godamn, man child You bargained so good I almost said, "where do I sign?"

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

9 days

I don't believe in asking women out, sorry, I just don't. If she wanted me, she would ask me out, it's that simple

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

I think I saw the same attractive woman from yesterday on my walk today How do I open? I mean I won't say shit, but theoretically

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 months

@vocalcry Indian bronson coded

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

9 months

@shakoistsLog Flashback to the sf store owner who sprayed water at a homeless woman And it turned out she had made a habit out of throwing her feces at people and the owner was regularly spraying human waste away from the front of his store and had called authorities about her numerous times

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

12 days

*sees a pfp featuring a seemingly attractive woman in the 80 sq pixels on the TL* *clicks into replies to her tweets* Ah yes, it's the usual suspects

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Tits or ass? Bro she left me. All the light in my life has evaporated. For the rest of my wretched life I'll wander this world alone, eyes tepid bogs of misery, my feet will skirl the parched soil of this dead earth as they carry me in my slumber

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Until then I'll do the regular things my duties require of me, such as helping her bathe and shower and selling her bath water, cutting her toenails, and helping her monitor her poop data with scientific rigor and enthusiasm

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

Women can post 3 selfies and break 1k followers on here, meanwhile I have to shit on the entire Atlantic seaboard and get trashed in the replies just to nab 50 followers

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Oh my God I shit you not a 5th woman just responded a few days after I messaged her

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Tits or ass? Bro those smile lines that arch around her lips, inscribed by a thousand moments we shared together, her laugh wafting along wet cobblestone roads and strung incandescent bulbs, as if every other being were a spectator for her delight

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

@noanonob perfectly cooked chicken breast takes skill tho give some credit

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 months

I get so bitter when I see someone who I had 5x more followers than ~12 months ago surpass my follower count fuck this site

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

27 days

ppl are always saying "oh you need to care less about engagement and likes" everything on this site is designed around that, they have little numbers and buttons and engagement metrics right there on the screen, what is the point of playing this game if i'm supposed to ignore

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

4 months

Guy who is on the brink of tears when he sees a physical spot he was with his ex at, haha couldn't be me, no way

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

Gates and Allen were holed up in shithole Albuquerque to get MS off the ground, probably coding >14 hours/day. I bet neither of those guys felt the touch of a woman during those years. Complete commitment to their mission.

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

This is what engaging in aella discourse is

Kendall

@Kenny___Rose

1 year

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Which one of you goonies did this?

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

17 days

You know what time it is. @tszzl

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

17 days

We are so back

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

10 days

I never thought about jawlines, jaw shape, physiognomy, height, canthal tilt, and those dumb green lines until I joined Twitter. This site ruined me. Idk what positives I've gotten out of this place

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

In the last few days i’ve had to explain the following to bootcamp grads: - kitchen knife grip - preheating pans - $ of an oz of coke - how to separate egg yolks - don't harass the FOH - salt isn't smelling salt rethinking my position on minimum viable training for an swe

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

"reply to this and i'll tell you what vibes you give off" oh ok how about reply to this and i'll craft a personalized insult just for you

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

Compare them to modern MBA-type founders who post pics of themselves at the beach sipping on booze or their physique at Equinox. You tell me who you believe in more.

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Tits or ass? bro that serene, peaceful look on her face as she sleeps, when she knows she's safe with me

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Who tf is gwern?

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 months

it's over

schizo

@tulpapilled

2 months

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

8 days

I am shooting my shot

vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

9 days

Against the odds, the plot continues

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

Yud is what you get when you let a redditor become famous

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

tits or ass? Bro forget the yearning. I am desecrated by trauma. I am overworked and tired and run down, a decaying map whose lines have long since eroded into barren futility. Every breath I devote to this pain is an affront to my ancestors' grace.

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Which male artist is the cultural equivalent to Rihanna, but amongst men? So like the men simp over his looks and constantly talk about how gorgeous and talented he is, etc

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Tits or ass Bro her loving maternal instincts, forgiving and trusting nature, valued judgement, and intelligence and humor

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

MFW I recently reached out to a (now ex) friend of mine from HS and he was like "so good to hear from you bro" and then never responded to the next 2 messages I sent about meeting up to catch up

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

9 months

Been on twitter for over a year and I think it's safe to say that brian graham is the best/funniest poaster on here, undisputed

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

I'm what you get when a midwit enters software engineering. I'm tired of this shit. I'm having a hard time reasoning about failure modes, multi-region availability, replication, multi region correctness, and working with all this shit. I'm tired.

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

Taylor Lorenz is cute

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

@allgarbled just one more hit bro, just one more, we're nearly there trust me bro

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

@skooookum This is an autistic tell?? Idk I feel like I'd say something like that with a smile and think it's funny

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

Nobody ever talks about how hard it is for hot guys, especially during their hot guy summer, in tech

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

@GeniDiLongo And I doubt you can assemble IKEA furniture

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

11 months

@rickyflowsinyou Fuck you

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

I'm going to make my personal 2023 OKR to be as sexy as a line cook in my SWE role. Action Items: * curse more * get tatted up * chug monster energy drinks on video calls * sleep on the floor * constantly look tired and pissed off what else am I missing?

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

2 years

I think many men derive glee from dunking on women/seeing women get dunked on because they're conditioned to feel as though they must always offer themselves to women and then receive judgement, so any chance to turn the tables is a noticeable change in the power dynamic

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

23 days

I AM NOW PART OF THE SINGLE COMMA CLUB!!!

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

What happened to Eurydice? She left before Noisé deactivated, maybe they finally ended up together

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

11 months

Thinking today about the woman on tinder who told me she wanted "a super hot makeout sesh" before our first date and then I dropped her off at her car and we didn't even hug at the end of the date

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

18 days

Spent some time crafting a creative and funny msg when liking a woman on hinge, doesn't seem to have worked, oh well

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

Guy who calls health insurance to ask if procedure is covered, is told yes, does procedure, gets billed full amount w/ 0 coverage, calls health insurance again and asks why, and is told the OG answerer didn't realize it's not covered bc of my age

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vaporous ford

@vaporous_ford

1 year

You think I give a fuck about tweeting while at a social event? I don't give a fuck broooo I'll tweet wherever I want, whenever I want. I will tweet during coitus, I will tweet in the mountains, I will tweet while at Mecca, I will tweet while being baptized by the pope

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