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Vanessa 

@vanessahodgesx

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Trophy wife / Expert on most things / Part-time TV Critic /♀️/ Keeping it real / 🙄

Knowhere, UK
Joined February 2009
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 days
@SophieMolly_OFF Hi Sophie this may be something Men’s Health Magazine could be interested in, as revenge porn is hugely underreported by males. Would you be interested in speaking to someone in my team and we could make some enquiries on your behalf. Let me know by 4pm tomorrow.
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Does the ‘BBC star’ wear glasses? #bbc #guesswho #bbcpresenter #bbcstar
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
10 months
It was way more important to get one over on Fred and Nigel, than it was to ensure the camp was having food cooked by someone who is trained and knows what they are doing. Nella only thought of Nella when making that decision, how very Nella #ImACeleb #ImACelebrity
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 days
@transiness @SophieMolly_OFF Sorry Transimess should I say ‘I identify as a trophy wife and Men’s Health Magazine team member’ to make it more real and believable for you?
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
9 months
ITV, can this man be stopped please, Richard Madeley clearly doesn’t know what he is talking about here #gmb
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
Tom saying “There are some hairstyles that should never be done” with a straight face and a permed mullet 😂 #BBUK
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Terence does not negotiate with terrorists. That is clear now 😂 #MAFSUK
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Can they not see themselves how ridiculous they are with their “moving onto the next item” talking about the Nottingham deaths and then the next breath Holly giggles “is Beyoncé is bad for the economy?”. It’s really pissing me off, so disrespectful. #itvthismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
8 months
I pretty sure I would be an absolute star in these tasks (or at least 98% better than these mouthy fools) I think my downfall would be having to wake up, shower, get dressed & presentable and still have my 14 morning coffees all within 20 minutes #TheApprentice
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
10 months
One thing to be thankful for this Christmas, with all the misery around the world, is that Ladbaby has finally festively fucked off #gmb
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
5 months
When accepting her BAFTA award, ‘real’ Lorraine thanked people last night for supporting and trusting her with their sensitive life stories but when it comes to paying tax, says she’s merely a theatrical artist, performing the role of someone who cares on #Lorraine #ShesCrafty
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
6 months
The TV remote control was invented in 1950 but the ‘mute’ button was added in 1958 which is the same year Denise Welch was born. Coincidence you say? #Loosewomen
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
Hotel Chocolat is overpriced and overrated. Don’t come for me or do, I don’t care #HotelChocolat
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
In Ellie’s own sadness and upset you can see her desperately trying to be sensitive to her birth mums feelings. 💕 truly amazing #elliesimmonds
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Ruth thought it was perfectly safe to leave Eamonn home alone on twitter when she left for her ITV #loosewomen job. #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
4 months
Why does it not surprise me that Richard Madeley is doomsday prepped #gmb
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
Denise welch is the type of person that would reply ‘welcome to my world’ when you tell her something bad has happened in your life. #LooseWomen
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
8 months
Once I explain it, it will become self explanatory #theapprentice
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
6 months
For the love of dogs wasn’t about the person presenting it and Paul O’grady understood this better than anyone. It was about the dogs and that was exactly what made Paul happy. Alison will shit all over this with a script, fake funnies and canned laughter 🙄 #ForTheLoveOfDogs
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Holly is wondering how this Italian teacher gets away with missing 20 years of work and is taking notes. Don’t worry Holly, you are half way there 😂 #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Porscha surely wouldn’t have made a big deal of it if it was Terrence kissing 4 other women, she just doesn’t seem the type 😂 #mafsuk
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
6 months
I take it they told Denise welch to stay home today #loosewomen
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 days
@latsot Thank you for sharing this, I have not stopped laughing at all the replies I have received 🫶🏼
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
2 years
Gwyneth Paltrow not only doesn’t like Terry Sanderson for lying but also because he appears to be a better actor at this point. #GwynethPaltrowSkiCrashTrial #GwynethPaltrowSkiCrashCase #GwynethPaltrowTrail #courttv
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
2 years
They literally stole the date from Toy Story #loveisland
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
Jack doesn’t like Lauren (not surprised) and ‘couldn’t be married to her’. Probably because Lauren would see straight through his absolute bullshit fuckery during the AC-12 style interviews she’d be subjecting him to #MAFSAU #MAFSAustralia
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
6 months
Tim doesn’t realise that any (and I mean ANY) other woman would have written leave by now and Lucinda deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for her outstanding contributions to patience and understanding. #MAFSAU #MAFS
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
The reason Lorraine was able to ‘avoid’ a £1.2m tax bill was because "All parts of the show are a performance, the act being to perform the role of a friendly, chatty and fun personality” So on Friday / weekend she is herself …. a tax dodger. #lorraine
ITV star Lorraine Kelly's deep regret after avoiding £1.2 million tax bill

Lorraine Kelly took the HMRC to court in 2019 after the Scottish star was slapped with a whopping £1.2m tax bill for income tax and national insurance contributions

apple.news
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
I don’t get why Peggy is so annoyed by George’s online content. Her ass is hanging out too 🥖 #MAFSUK
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
It’s not often celebrities are called out on their bullshit behaviour because they are surrounded by ‘yes’ people telling them how wonderful they are 24/7 and therefore it’s even sweeter when it happens on live telly and they can’t hide #CBBLL #CBBUK #CBB #CelebrityBigBrother
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
2 years
Terry Sanderson can rest at ease knowing all his symptoms and even brain damage he thought he had sustained in the collision have been confirmed as decline due to old age, being a nervous wreck, narcissist and an attention seeker. #GwynethPaltrowSkiCrashTrial #GwynethPaltrow
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
8 months
The legendary Lorraine Kelly. This was clearly a joke #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
6 months
40 years in broadcasting, equates to 10 in “Lorraine years” #lorraine
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
I love love love how Fern looks straight through Ekin Su #CBBUK #CBB #CelebrityBigBrother
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Holly has a keen eye for spotting the tiny silver hallmarks on a picture of a chain. Other things, right next to her on the sofa, at work, for 16 years …. Not so much #itvthismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
5 months
This episode of #Lorraine is basically an hour of blowing smoke up every member of the ITV family’s ass with the fake and evil Lorraine Kelly.
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
9 months
I’ve never understood the “released early for good behaviour” bullshit. Now Stephen Bear, a convicted sex offender is let out of prison, serving less than half his sentence for just behaving like a normal person and not assaulting anyone for a few weeks. Big bag of wank…
@LBC
LBC
@LBC
9 months
Stephen Bear unrecognisable as he leaves prison after serving 11 months for sharing sex tape
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
Colson, you melt nobody was stopping you from stepping forward you halfassed that #CBB #CBBUK #CelebrityBigBrother
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
10 months
Nella: ‘What you see is what you get with me’…. What we saw and what we got: #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
5 months
Don’t worry about the audience Frank, they just clap when they are told to and most of them don’t even know what tf is going on. #loosewomen
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
It will be nice to hear from Ferne McCann as last time she was on This Morning she couldn’t tell ‘her full truth‘ about her shitty voice notes because of a ‘criminal investigation’. I think she may be hoping everyone has forgotten now she’s popped a sprog. #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
6 months
For those who missed her tweet (or those blocked 😂) this is how angry she was at LNER, the country and paying taxes #LooseWomen
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
Straight to bed and no iPad tonight for Arthur 😂 #mafsuk
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
2 years
Today’s GMB will be extended by 1 hour. This is to ensure Susanna has plenty of time for sympathetic head tilts and speaking very slowly to reiterate how serious and devastating things are in Kiev. #gmb #amateurdramatics #weknow
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
No, Lorraine will not go into celebrity big brother as this would require working at least 3 weeks straight and she is definitely not keen on that #Lorraine
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
Lorraine gets many scam letters. She had one from HMRC saying she had to pay a huge amount of money. Luckily she didn’t fall for it. #lorraine
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
3 months
Ashley has never felt threatened by transwomen, so everyone should be fine with it. And also shut up 😂 #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
9 months
@Katie_Murphy776 Very strange, especially as that same ITV feels it’s quite acceptable to subject viewers to Loose Women 5 days a week 😏
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
Tom clearly doesn’t remember the past 48hrs in the BB spare bedroom fuming that the remaining housemates are fake af and are only blowing smoke up each other’s assholes, now that he himself is too busy blowing kisses and mouthing ‘I love you’ to them all 😂 #BBUK
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Perhaps #CarolynMcCall should look at twitter instead of waiting by her complaints hotline that clearly nobody uses and then she would have a clue as to what goes on in ‘daytime’ instead of the smoke that gets blown op her ass daily. #itv #cultureselectcommittee #itvthismorning
@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Can they not see themselves how ridiculous they are with their “moving onto the next item” talking about the Nottingham deaths and then the next breath Holly giggles “is Beyoncé is bad for the economy?”. It’s really pissing me off, so disrespectful. #itvthismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
8 months
I don’t know if it’s because it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m already in a mood or if Alison and Dermot are just that extra bit annoying today 🙄 #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
Levi felt like he was a father figure to Ekin Su, so she won’t be hearing from him ever again then 🙄 #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
8 months
Why oh why does “For The Love Of Dogs” need to be ruined by the absolute bullshit that is Alison Hammond. I loved it with Paul O’Grady and realise it will never be the same but surely there are better suited people out there to take this over. I mostly feel sorry for the dogs.
@superTV247
sᴜᴘᴇʀ ᴛᴠ
@superTV247
8 months
NEW 🚨 Alison Hammond confirmed as the new presenter of ITV’s ‘For The Love Of Dogs’ following the sad passing of previous host, Paul O’Grady.
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
8 months
Alison laughing whilst having no idea what tf is going on, is how I would describe her presenting style. #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
2 years
Thoughts are with everyone who have missed the first 30 minutes of #LooseWomen . It was a Denise special with Denise talking 89% of the time providing heroic anekdotes about herself, her life, how she is fabulous and fan favourite Lincoln 🙄
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
Alison and Fergie are bonding over their shared inability to successfully read the simplest sentences on the autocue. #ThisMorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
I don’t believe in coincidences or signs but my dog just farted whilst Denise was talking about herself. #loosewomen
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
8 months
Susanna has tinnitus (a constant, very irritating, annoying noise in your ear) or as he is better known, Richard Madeley #gmb
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
6 months
Densy asking her parents if they were getting divorced at age 2 or 3 #LooseWomen
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
Fergie has confessed that cooking is not her strong point. I hope Dermot has reassured her, that talent is absolutely not required for any segment on #ThisMorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
Uncle Gary thinking he is a part of the Royal Family and anyone had any type of ‘perception’ of him before going into the house. #CBBUK
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
8 months
Sam Thompson and Alison Hammond on telly being involved in absolutely everything is like when you tell your nan you quite like her beef stew and dumplings out of politeness and then she makes it you everyday and an extra to take home for later and 5 already frozen. #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
6 months
Lorraine checking the tax breaks for grandma’s #lorraine
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
Ferne back on #ThisMorning , I take it we have all forgotten she is a nasty person 🙄
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
9 months
Susanna has swapped the hushed tones and sympathetic head tilts for hard hitting journalistic taking of glasses when pressing for answers #gmb
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 days
@JohnJonesMkII @SophieMolly_OFF Please don’t get your hopes up, most of my tweets are just me moaning about stuff. You can always mute I suppose, I suspect 89% of people that follow me do.
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
5 months
Im sure everyone’s thoughts are with the people misgendered by Graham Norton last night. So much hurt and many feelings crushed. This must be such an incredible painful Sunday for them. Anyway, I’ll be sunbathing in the garden with my dog ✌🏽
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
10 months
Is there nobody in the royal family that can get Fergie a little job so she doesn’t have to be on all the daytime shows with her absolute out of touch bullshit every 5 minutes. #lorraine #ThisMorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
8 days
Should Phil Schofield not be allowed to live his life without fear and abuse, of course he should. But he’s surely not owed any comeback when his brand of being the genuinely nice guy, friend of everyone and being open & honest turned out to be a whopper of a lie. #lorraine
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Something to look forward to: Denise will have a 10 minute ‘personal view’ (rant) about how she feels about Prince Harry’s court case. Only Denise, as she cares the most about everyone and everything. #loosewomen
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Can we just put it out there that Bianca looks and sounds perfectly lovely instead of discussing her like she lives at Notre Dame ringing the bells and JJ just has to be brave and face the struggle having to put up with her. #Mafsuk
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
Ekin Su wanted people to see her as a strong woman who is misunderstood and misjudged (we’ve all seen legally blonde) she showed us something quite different and we didn’t like it. Ekin Su is now claiming it was the editing that made her look bad. #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Holly explaining she has a tiny forehead 5 minutes before the expert says the forehead area represents intellect 😂 #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
10 months
I wonder how Nella will cope as campleader now she can’t participate, help out, has to sit & watch others do all the hard work and is exempt from doing trials… oh wait…. #ImACeleb #ImACelebrity #ImACelebrityGetMeOutOfHere
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
Sean is giving mid nervous breakdown vibes and looks like he’s not slept for a week #mafsuk
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
2 years
Denise your endless, very long stories about yourself and your life are so fascinating and relatable 🙄 #LooseWomen #EnoughIsEnough #stfu
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Shaun, just pop Mark in the hotel’s kidsclub so they can look after him and you can have a lovely honeymoon #mafsuk
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Today’s special: Taking the proper piss 😂 #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
9 months
Lorraine is presenting her own show today, this can only mean one thing:…… it’s pre-recorded. #Lorraine
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
For those that don’t speak the language of ‘Botox’ and therefore have no idea what’s going on…Mark is upset and he’s crying. #MAFSUK
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
2 years
It will be nice to hear from Ferne McCann now that she has had enough time to come up with an excuse for them shitty voice notes. Odds are on mental health and autism. Menopause has been ruled out as Ferne is deemed to young to realistically get away with that one. #ThisMorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
If you think Alison knows anything, you are mistaken. What an absolute clown #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
10 months
Josie is now camp leader. She can do with a sit down after being rushed off her feet with all the trials she’s been avoiding #ImACeleb #ImACelebrity #ImACelebrityGetMeOutOfHere
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
I’ve got a funny feeling Levi may not be the amazing guy everyone thinks he is #CBBUK #Lateandlive
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Porscha and Terrance are making a good case for the spin off series Divorce at first sight #DAFSUK #MAFSUK
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
Why? That’s really is the only question I have. #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
ITV must be genuinely concerned about This Morning if they are throwing their golden boy Ben Shephard in the mix 😂 #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 months
Can I do a shout out to all mediocre woman that aren’t particularly strong, brave, smart or beautiful and don’t get recognised as amazing but nevertheless, drag themselves out of bed, looking after everyone and try to live their life as a good person #thismorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
5 months
All we need to do is find the woman with Britain’s biggest minge and send them on a date. I’ll leave that with you ITV (don’t get Alison to host it) #ThisMorning
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
I didn’t even have time to tweet about needing some pushbacks. #thechase
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
10 months
If only Nella would put as much energy into finishing a trial as she does being a spiteful cow 😂 #ImACeleb #ImACelebrityGetMeOutOfHere #ImACelebrity
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
5 months
Nadia’s kids only shop charity shop clothes and refuse to get anything new from the high street. #loosewomen
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
27 days
@ThePosieParker My daughters university lanyard. Standard issue 🙄
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 days
@Robnonumber @SophieMolly_OFF 😂
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
1 year
Nick Nack is super looking forward to marrying his mum.. no sorry .. man. #MAFSUK
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
27 days
@Rubio43210 @ThePosieParker I think that’s actually my point, there shouldn’t be anything on that lanyard. Not a Liverpool or Everton badge, not a political party emblem or religion cross etc. This is an university where she should be able learn without being told what to believe or who she should support.
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 days
@latsot 😬 still laughing at all the angry DM’s saying they will get me sacked from Men’s Health Magazine.
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
7 days
@KaliReturns @SophieMolly_OFF Glad it made you laugh 😂
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
11 months
The couples saying ‘We’ve been through so so much and have come so so far’ when it’s a tv show and only 8 weeks of their life. #MAFSUK #MarriedAtFirstSightuk
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@vanessahodgesx
Vanessa 
@vanessahodgesx
10 days
Lord Alli sounds like the Labour party’s sugar daddy tbf #thismorning
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