the scary jokes @thescaryjokes Twitter profile

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the scary jokes

1 year

Retinal Bloom is finally here & available on all streaming platforms! 💗 Thank you @needlejuicerec & @fire_toolz for all your hard work. Plz enjoy~ :)

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

thinking about being 11 and getting my series of unfortunate events book signed by lemony snicket & when i walked up the thing i decided i needed to say to him was "these mortals disturb me". he just said "i know what you mean"

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

women: it'd be nice if men would just do the right thing men: hi there just wondering, how would you make men do the right thing? how would you enforce this? what's your gameplan to make sure that men are forcibly made to do the right thing? wh

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

ppl are always talking about cartoon pizza this, ghibli food that, but does anything look more viscerally delicious than the fistfuls of honey pooh bear constantly shovels into his mouth

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

this is such an underrated pokemon, why is no one talking about her and her little pink pants.

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

me: what if something bad happens =( steven universe in my brain: well what if something good happens? =) me: wow what the fuck. what the hell. what the fuck

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

five nights at freddies.

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

The way Neil is constantly treated like this by fans makes me rly sad. This is disrespectful!!

Juniper Mars

@bebopally

1 year

there could be entire academic studies done in a multitude of fields about all the shit that leads to the creation of these spotify pages

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

nothing any human being could ever write could bring me more joy than my old broken down car radio's attempts to display the name of a musical artist. there was a counting crows song on the radio the other day and it just flashed "CRUNTING" for 3 minutes

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

if you're a Content Creator i am literally begging you to at least try not to build a weird creepy culture of worship around yourself

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

the one depiction of depression in media that i probably relate to the most is that ep of parks & rec where ben gets depressed & becomes very fleetingly passionate abt being a stop motion animator. that's me like every other week. Like wtf i bought a loom over the summer.

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

its that ORRIBLE CAT!!!!

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

ICYMI: Pre-orders for the 1st ever PHYSICAL RELEASE of April Fools are now available!! I'm posting this on the 2nd so u know its not a joke ;o)

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

i'd like centipedes so much more if they were just like a series of connected circles and they had lil high tops on all of their feet. except the front two and they were wearing little mittens on those. and they had little glasses

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

What i rly like abt ratatouille is remy doesnt learn fuckshit the whole movie, he's a pretentious little fucker from minute one onward & he never has to change. & im & fine with that bc he is just a little rat, he isn't long for this world & he deserves his own themed restaurant

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

just a quick warning my new album im working on is very evil and encourages vengeance :/

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

i FUCKING love being nonbinary

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

okay but here's the thing:

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

album :)

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

@rhoticshwa This is very real and i have a very clear memory of it because i was instantly really embarrassed lmao i just wanted to be cool and goth!!!

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

"hey everybody i drew this comic featuring the internet's new favorite harassment campaign mascot, but im nice so i made him say not to harass the original creator. I still love this harassment campaign though its really good, good vibes only in 2020!!!!"

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

me: *sees all the awful horrors of our world* me: its fully up to me to fix all this me: *wiggles around anxiously all day and falls asleep like 3 times*

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

the warrior cats amvs people make for my songs mean more to me than any indie mag write up ever could and yknow what!! the haters cant take that away!!!!

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

When my cat comes out of the kitchen licking her chops after i feed her breakfast i love giving her a lil pat on the head and going "was that delicious??" bc i know it wasnt her foods nasty but she DOES think it's delicious and im here to support her no matter what

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

omg

colten

@c4tspl4sh

1 year

theyre talking abt the bands theyre from

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

periodic reminder that im a, goddamn, they/them

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

first thing ive written on this thing (also my 1st time using any sequencer lmao pls dont make fun of mee)

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

hey guys! just wanted to let y'all know im coming out as militantly anti-love and friendship. thsnks in advance for understanding <3

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

werkin

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

:000

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

I love in Ratatouille when Anton Ego gets fired from being a critic after the restaurant gets closed for rats cause he said in his review that great chefs can come from unexpected places... The general public was like "HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE RATS"

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

:0

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

well this is what i think he looks like. what do you think?

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

me showing up to my high school reunion on shrooms

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 months

this scared me

Needlejuice Records

@needlejuicerec

2 months

HUGE SALE - Most INSANE discounts EVER. We're MOVING to a NEW OFFICE. To make it easy we need to GET THIS STUFF OUTTA HERE. DEEPEST discounts EVER see are in effect, til 5/20. Some items marked 50% OFF. Some CDs/tapes are ONE DOLLAR. NEARLY EVERY item is discounted in some way.

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

yo this movie is so fucked, it'll make you think anybody can be a chef. even a little rat

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

my new dnd character (he sucks)

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

relative: so you have short hair now. me: its true. my hair was long in the past and now it's short. relative: you know, not everyone can pull off short hair. me: relative: me: relative: me: well. it was nice seeing you for the first time since i was 7

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

i realized in a dream that ratatouille's brothers name is "emile" like "a meal" and it woke me up i got so scared

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

sometimes your fans can say meaner stuff abt your work than the haters... sometimes you write something from the bottom of your heart and a random teen goes "yknow what? to me, this is about sephiroth" and you gotta just be like.... ok!! thank you for streaming

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

sorry but i dont know what this object is. some kind of donut dessert? wheel of some sort? What does this have to do with me

Needlejuice Records

@needlejuicerec

1 year

What if the big @thescaryjokes announcement was THIS WEEK?

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

BURN PYGMALION!!! is getting a physical release! Featuring two stunning LP variants, CDs and pink & green dual-tone cassettes! LPs and CDs come with exclusive art, and all physical releases include access to the instrument stems!! PRE-ORDER HERE: 👉 👈

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

i had a dream that i got in a real world feud with elon musk and i hurt him emotionally/psychologically. it would be nice if i did psychic dream damage to him. i hope to hurt him again in the dream world tonight.

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

I say "haha"/ "hahaha" in every single album ive made including the upcoming one and i would love to say that's a deliberate on-brand choice but it's just me liking going "haha" / "hahaha" in a song & forgetting i already did that

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

SO crazy... thank you all for ur support 😇

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 months

the burn pygmalion repress is going to be very special and very beautiful. i have insider information on this, somehow

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

i am nonbinary and i make music as the scary jokes :)

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

Here it is!! My 3rd LP! This has been such a labor of love for the past 3ish years and I couldn’t be more excited to share it with you all. :) HUGE HUGE THANKS to @cyelatm and @everydaylouie for their brilliant contributions! Happy New Year y’all!!!!

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

what theatre directors need to understand is that immersive theater is exactly like larping, except you have taken away the audience's freedom to hit your performers with a foam bat while screaming how much damage they're doing at them. I'm here to fix that

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

after like 6 years of anxiety i told my mom I'm nonbinary and she was just like "oh word" dhjsshshj

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

Hi! So I just found out I'm pretty imminently going to lose my day job but I guess that's just a good excuse to finally launch my Patreon! 🙃 If you wanna sign up early here's the link 👇

Get more from liz lehman on Patreon

creating music

www.patreon.com

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

goose update: caught gaming

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

4 real if you liked april fools please check out the remaster it's like, actually really really amazing. i wouldnt lie

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

being fat is iconic actually

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

i feel like retinal bloom is my most similar album to april fools, maybe not sonically but spiritually and emotionally. and im calling upon YOU to make a warrior cats amv for it

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

oh wow i cant believe the right wing freaks who won the hearts of transphobic cis gays everywhere have seamlessly shifted to calling the entire lgbt community groomers :'( nobody saw that coming

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

remy is so close to being the next stage of rat evolution like he just needs to discover agriculture. he comes sooo close like multiple times in the beginning of the movie too he's like "wish we didnt have to scavenge" bro plant some corn!!

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

11 months

a sincere question for people who really liked my april fools album: why (i like it too like i was really feeling myself when i made it but idk im a little fascinated by its staying power)

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

me: hm i think i will listen to some Sufjan Stevens *unpauses the song on spotify that i was in the middle of listening to a week ago* sufjan (whispering): ....... God................ me: ohoho fuck yeah!!!! yeahyeahYEAHYEAHYEAHEYAHEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 months

its my day

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

fav breaking bad things: 1. whenever walt is enjoying himself in the simplest of ways like wearing a fun sweater or making a grilled cheese & he is swiftly & justly punished for it 2. that one intro where walt & walt jr are just revving their cars & laughing & dubstep is playing

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

👁💐👁💐👁💐👁💐

Needlejuice Records

@needlejuicerec

1 year

Retinal Bloom arrives May 26th on vinyl, CD, tape, and digital. A shirt designed by Liz Lehman is also available both standalone and in bundles! 💿 Pre-order now! 🎵 Digital pre-save:

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

april fools might actually one day be a bedroom pop cult classic and it does have a rick and morty sound byte in it and it will forever

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

twitter cyelatm readers: ha ha funney comic tumblr cyelatm readers: umm is it just me or is anybody else uncomfy w/ how rosie shot lazer beams out of her eyes triggering a piano to fall on that guy?? :/ very toxic behavior imo. i hope the next 10 comics are rosie apologizing

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

harnessing evil mouse energy......

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

sorry im not as cool as i was on 2013-2016 tumblr im just in my 30s now and taking various medicines

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

Is it okay if my next album doesnt "go hard" ... i just want to lie down

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

wreck it ralph has died

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

me: rosies head lumps are where she stores her water. june: =( june: nobody has ever said this to me before. people have said a lot of things about rosie but never that. im never going to forget this.

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

vinyl flavors (in order) "superman" ice cream passion fruit (very concentrated slightly tart flavor) orange creamsicle strawberry lifesaver creme candy

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

some old ocs... ;~)

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

ehehehehe.........

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

as a woketh person a good thing to not do to someone who's just come out as trans masc is lash out extremely viciously at them for "wanting to be a boy"

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

it's probably a really common fantasy for ppl who struggle with being overly empathetic & optimistic to feel like they can somehow fix people's bigotry by talking them into seeing the light so they realize they're being evil but my advice is... Don't lol. Just don't talk to them.

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

i love how the prince of egypt is such a masterpiece but there's a song in the middle of it where steve martin and martin short sing "you're playing with the big boys now" 100 times and after they're done moses is just like "...okay anyway"

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

Retinal Bloom (new the scary jokes album) in 1 week... their excitement is palpable

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

🎊🤡🎊

Needlejuice Records

@needlejuicerec

3 years

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

the 2021 april fools mix is live on spotify!!! <33333

April Fools (2021 Mix)

The Scary Jokes · Album · 2021 · 12 songs.

open.spotify.com

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

If an artist wants their music on Spotify they'll put it on Spotify! I don't get why people struggle with this so much

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

hiii if anyone is interested... i have started posting demos from my upcoming album on my patreon! :) i want 2 keep this release mostly a surprise but im gonna drop a couple more. also my patrons will be able to listen to the new album before anybody else!

Get more from liz lehman on Patreon

creating music

www.patreon.com

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

Wishing every piece of shit demon who makes money fear mongering against my sisters, brothers, siblings, an eternally cursed life. You all have blood on your hands. I wish we could strip you of your power but until then we will never let you forget what you've done.

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

generating a lot of buzz 😎

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

6 years

someone: *replies to my post saying im evil & toxic* me: huh i wonder what this persons whole deal is their likes: i hate antis!! cp is fine if its just drawings!!! me: ah,

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

Help

Needlejuice Records

@needlejuicerec

2 years

the backrooms are real and the scary jokes are going there

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

I really REALLY can't wait for people to hear the new album 🥲🩷 working with @fire_toolz was soo fun & we really cooked up something special i think :) also thanks to @needlejuicerec theres plenty of exciting stuff to look forward to in the coming months so stay tuneddd

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

hey i really think we should abolish the police

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

5 years

growly male vocalist: rrrr... world is filth... we're all dirt... life has no value... we are a slime... WE ARE ALL BAD!!! WORLD IS A FUCK!!!!! guy who knows what real music sounds like: this is what real music sounds like

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

nobody asked but this is how i read orville and wilburs dialogue in my head

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

food shouldnt get smaller when you cook it. It should stay big.

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

r u ready??

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

oh and! a belated thank you to everyone who streamed my music this year, I'm not posting the artist wrapped but a lot of people paid attention to me in 2022 and i love that

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

3 years

there making a funko pop of me ! at my insistence theyre using radioluminescent paint so if you order one please make sure to bury it 100 feet in the earth. thanks in advancxe

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

any sudoku freaks in the audience? any puzzle heads out there? anybody else like to unwind with a little process-of-elimination challenge? or is it just fucking me.

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

cw suicide I will never understand how there are human beings walking this Earth who hear about people like Eden & aren't shattered, who aren't furious beyond language that things like this happen. Inhuman demons. I hope you never know peace again. Murderers. #JusticeForEden

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

4 years

you know what is so insane & something i just realized recently... a lot of people in the "gender neutral pronouns are grammatically incorrect lol" camp think we want them to say "them went to the grocery store" like... ?????????????

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

1 year

did you know my album is out and you have to listen to it

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the scary jokes

@thescaryjokes

2 years

serpaz from vast error

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