sarah kelly Profile Banner
sarah kelly Profile
sarah kelly

@thesarahkelly

13,419
Followers
3,766
Following
12,663
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Statuses

Deputy sports editor, Denver Post. Please don’t be weird in my mentions. Into bulldogs, college football, red dirt. Born to yap, forced to lock in.

Denver
Joined January 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
I borrowed $38,876 for school from one private lender. Since graduating, I’ve paid that lender $31,501. How much do I still owe them? $47,023
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
lmao this is the most 2021 rejection ever
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
No country on earth has successfully contained Covid-19 without closing nonessential businesses and paying people to stay home. Government intervention is the only way out. Pretending capitalism and personal responsibility are enough has caused thousands of preventable deaths.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
3 years
I don’t really understand how people who were young in the 80s act so confused about different gender identities and expressions when the celebrities of their time looked like this
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 months
I admit it’s a low priority but I would support legislation that made “pet rent” illegal. I don’t know how we normalized this practice over the last decade or so but it’s a scam.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
ADHD hack: Keeping my fridge and freezer inventory on the outside so I can remember what food I have and actually eat it instead of forgetting it exists
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
Occasionally a job application will ask what my college GPA was and I just write in “I am 35 years old.”
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
8 months
Something I think about a lot is how viciously unfair it must feel to pay the medical bills associated with being shot by a total stranger for no reason other than that you dared to leave your house
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 year
One of the most freeing pieces of information I ever learned is that a huge number of middle class or upper-middle class people just pay a cleaning service to come through once or twice a month for a deep clean.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
6 months
I mean if you know a better place to order chicken tikka masala, garlic naan, and a mango lassi, please let me know.
@arctanno
Arc
6 months
going to an indian restaurant and ordering chicken tikka masala, garlic naan, and a mango lassi with a straight face
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 year
Babies scream on planes because their ears hurt and they don’t understand why and don’t have any other skills to communicate. Because they’re babies. It’s weird for adults to get mad about that!
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 months
Oh honey
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
5 years
The quotation mark situation here is really bothering me
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
So anyway everyone please remember that student loan debt is a structural problem, not a personal problem, and that usury is a sin. And Rock Chalk.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 months
At this point I am seeing the r-word used every single day online and I need everyone to KNOCK IT OFF.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
These are not my only loans, just the dumbest and highest-interest loans. The *current* cost of tuition at the University of Kansas is $10,092 a year so wealthier families will actually pay a tiny fraction of what I will have paid for the same education.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 year
I don’t want to read any more stories about random bigoted players who object to Pride. Write about athletes who support LGBTQ people and why it matters to them. Find an athlete who’s a big supporter of their queer sibling/cousin/friend. That’s your timely Pride sports angle.
@JRODshow44
Julio Rodriguez🇩🇴🦁
1 year
June ❤️🏳️‍🌈
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 year
Your acquaintance with the perpetually spotless house is not bending the laws of space and time to keep things that way. They just hire help.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 year
Unfortunately this quote is too funny to be as offensive as it normally would be
@GrahamDavidA
David A. Graham
1 year
“All of the Zoomers that work for me are bisexual, and all of them have long covid,” Sean McElwee said. “I’ll believe long covid is real when someone who is not bisexual has it.”
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
9 months
With all due respect to the athletes, I really hate that we have to pretend that Liberty is a real school
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
3 years
You’re telling me these people were all over TV when you were in your 20s but now you can’t function without rigidly defined and enforced gender roles? Sounds fishy.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 year
I’m not saying you should or should not hire cleaning help! I’m saying you should give yourself more grace rather than holding yourself to an impossible standard! But thanks for all the bizarrely grumpy replies and QTs, you miserable weirdos.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
BY THE WAY, my “expected family contribution” based on my parents’ incomes and assets was $0.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
And yes I went to a Title I school where adults were constantly telling us a college education was the only ticket out of poverty.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
6 years
Anything I do not want to do is emotional labor. Anything I do want to do is self care. I will not be expanding on this rn.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 months
There is simply no way my dog is doing an extra $500 A YEAR in damage or wear and tear. I already put down a deposit! It is already legal to bill/sue me for damages exceeding the deposit! You’re just being greedy.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 month
I have never encountered a normal person who doesn’t like Mina Kimes
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
7 years
Today's 30-year-old witnessed 9/11 in middle school and finished college during a recession but ok
@NRO
National Review
7 years
" @BenSasse thinks the generation coming of age ‘has begun life with far too few problems.’"
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
I don’t want a side hustle, I want to enjoy my one life on earth while I have it.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 months
Listen, I want everyone to have a 3-bedroom house for $1500 a month but it’s just not gonna happen in Denver
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
It didn’t matter in 2011 and it matters even less now! If 12 years of professional experience and a bunch of references and work samples aren’t enough, I don’t know what to tell you.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
6 months
The number of trans athletes even attempting to compete in college sports is so tiny that it’s hard not to interpret these policies as purely political
@Sportico
Sportico
6 months
BREAKING: The @NAIA is banning transgender athletes from women's sports competitions ⬇️
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
8 months
Being good at your job won’t save you from layoffs. Being indispensable won’t save you. Being a jack of all trades won’t guarantee you any kind of security. The people in charge don’t care if the work is good. They only care about lining their own pockets.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
@onthebook1 I mean, it’s long enough that my GPA doesn’t matter, if it ever did
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
@rebekahentralgo @Aerocles FIFTEEN HUNDRED A MONTH????
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
5 years
Wow I hate this so much
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
The only argument against a massive stimulus/bailout is “I am personally opposed to people getting something I don’t think they deserve and I feel so strongly about it that I’m willing to sacrifice innocent lives and the economy.”
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
7 years
I asked the Penn basketball players if they had anything left to say before I left the locker room. They said, “Free Meek.”
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
like it’s fine, I wasn’t feeling it with this guy anyway but this is tremendous content
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
3 years
Concerned about how damaging some of these hairstyles must have been, though. Especially before Olaplex.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
@DreamLeaf5 She looks more like a very small 23-year-old. It’ll get less creepy as she ages because her face is on a normal trajectory.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
@JasmineLWatkins This video has some kind of healing properties to it
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
@coffeecoffeemmm @SloaneFragment Listen if the tree is growing inside my body, I have every right to remove it
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
Media has been both-sidesing this a bit. The only viable solution is for the federal government to write big fat checks. There is no evidence that any other approach would work.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 months
It is unfortunate that Caitlin Clark’s incredible season managed to get all the absolute worst people interested in women’s basketball.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 year
Children are people and have just as much right as you do to be out in public spaces!
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
7 years
I want to live in a world where getting up at 8 a.m. is considered early
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
Hey, go help a Black trans woman find safe housing:
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 months
I think I’ve finally pinpointed why the new wave of CC freaks bother me so much: It’s the utter disdain they have for the WNBA.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 months
@mehoran Right so you already had the ability to take her deposit and bill/sue her for additional damages.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
There are two sides to this argument: “Providing financial relief to businesses and individuals will keep America afloat while businesses are closed to prevent both the spread of Covid and economic disaster” vs. “No it won’t”
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
lol why do I only go viral when posting my L’s
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
3 years
It’s ok to admit you think fat girls are hot
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 months
@JonMurray I really think it’s a pretty transparent ploy ti get more money out of tenants. Developers saw the data that millennials are really into their pets and saw an opportunity.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
7 months
I would like to remind you that the women’s tournament wasn’t allowed to use the March Madness branding until 2022.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 year
@andreagrimes Seems like the “two hours away” is probably a major factor here
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
Oh also we’re gonna need to do something about the rent. Even if you don’t care about other people, you’re gonna care about the ripple effects of mass homelessness.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
3 years
MOST sexual assaults will not have enough evidence to bring forth charges. That doesn’t mean they didn’t happen, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean the survivors are lying.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 year
@bigkittenqueen Some people like cleaning! But yes, most people who clean for a living are vastly underpaid.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
To me, advocating for government relief and business shutdowns is no more political than advocating for masks in public. All of this is what experts recommend.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
“I want you to feel welcome but I’m not gonna wear the welcoming jersey because I choose, in 2023, to align myself with a sect of Christianity that willfully misinterprets the Bible for the purpose of discrimination.”
@cmasisak22
Corey Masisak
2 years
James Reimer, Logan Couture and David Quinn all spoke with the media. Here is Reimer's official statement about declining to wear a Pride jersey tonight ...
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
My friend died of covid and all I got was this timeline full of assholes on vacation
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
Ah yes, rural America, where drugs and violence don’t exist
@KyleKashuv
Kyle Kashuv
4 years
Get out of the cities. Move to a farm in the middle of nowhere. Raise baby alpacas. Walk your kids to the park without fear of being attacked or stepping on a drug-needle. There is more to life than $8 cappuccinos and gloomy 300 sq foot studio apartments.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
The general secret to optimize a house for ADHD is to make as many things as possible visible: open storage, clear containers, command hooks for everything, labels for stuff that’s hidden in drawers or cabinets
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
9 months
It’s not the Christianity I object to, it’s the bigotry. And all the rape cover-ups.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
8 months
They don’t warn you in journalism school about how much grief you’ll feel in this industry, how many times your whole world will turn upside down because some rich guy decided to destroy something you dedicated your life to
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
Again, THESE ARE NOT MY ORIGINAL IDEAS. These are recommendations from experts that have worked in other countries.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
11 months
@CeeHawk Did they expect her lips to be just naturally lined like that at all times or what
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 months
@ToryVStewart Someone else was like “Do you mean Denver, North Carolina?”
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
11 months
I had foolishly assumed there already was an ethics code in the Supreme Court
@Phil_Lewis_
philip lewis
11 months
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court says it's adopting an ethics code as the justices face criticism over undisclosed travel and gifts.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
Here are the lists I did from memory before I went and actually looked at what I had. Kinda demonstrates why I need the inventory.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
3 years
This kind of shit is a leading reason I never reported any of my sexual assaults. If you can’t prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it happened exactly the way you said it did, people like Adam Schefter will call you a liar.
@AdamSchefter
Adam Schefter
3 years
This is why Deshaun Watson, from the beginning, welcomed a police investigation: He felt he knew that the truth would come out. And today, a grand jury did not charge him on any of the criminal complaints.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 months
Am I the only person who doesn’t share my location or monitor other people’s locations? I use FindMy exclusively for keeping track of my wallet, keys, iPad, AirPods, etc
@kathrynfiona
kate lindsay
4 months
I wrote about how location-sharing has become so ingrained in relationships, it's now a curse, with users learning things about their friends, families, and partners that they never wanted or needed to know!! for @bustle
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
5 months
As both a journalist and a human, I really love when athletes are born yappers.
@Matt_Bove
Matthew Bové
5 months
This is the start of Keon Coleman's first press conference as a member of the Buffalo Bills. Covering this man is going to be a real treat. #BillsMafia @WKBW
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
Wow my trauma knows how to work a printer
@EvolBrew
evolbrew 
4 years
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
5 months
This idea would be fine if the WNBA were a new concept but the W — and its teams and its branding — has been around for more than 25 years. You’re late. These discussions occurred while Bill was writing stuff like this:
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@lesterfreamon
Paternity Riley
5 months
Ethan Strauss thinks WNBA teams should be called like the “W Pacers” bc it’s too hard to learn the name Fever and Bill agrees
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
@punished_cait No but really I need some examples of things this person DOES do because I’m at a loss
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 months
Dwyane Wade has been rapidly rising in the rankings of my all-time favorite NBA players. Support for trans kids saves lives.
@AP
The Associated Press
4 months
NBA great Dwyane Wade launches Translatable, an online community supporting transgender youth
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
Just very annoying to have to isolate for 14 days between dates!!!
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 months
Jokic said “I don’t work unpaid overtime”. King of boundaries.
@GwashburnGlobe
gary washburn
2 months
Serbia's Bogdan Bogdanovic on why teammate Nikola Jokic hasn't talked with the media at the Olympics: “He’s great, but he only likes to talk to me, you know that. In the NBA, if he doesn’t talk to media, he’ll get fined. But here (in the Olympics), there are no fines. So he says,
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
Y’all have GOT to stop saying “thank god I don’t have to date anymore!!” in my mentions. Don’t worry, I used to think that too.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
@flsku You sacrificed way more for that education than anyone should have to. To think, you did all that and some rich kid just showed up and wrote a check.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
@BudrykZack Also lol like 10 years ago was 2013 … that’s like peak tumblr era
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 months
W fans, in my experience, were stoked to have all the new folks watching until a huge portion of those folks started saying stuff like this
@LegalMovesOnly
Lord Angelboy
4 months
@thesarahkelly All the WNBA had to do was be welcoming and appreciative of finally being seen as legitimate in the eyes of mainstream basketball fans. Instead, it's been all hostility and toxicity.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 years
@Julie_Butcher @MoCrunch1 I agree, the county attorney’s refusal to arrest officers for the extrajudicial murder of a black man is absolutely horrible, criminal, and wrong.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
7 months
This country is not equipped for the new gambling addictions that are about to wreak havoc because of legalized sports gambling.
@justin_fenton
Justin Fenton
7 months
Treasurer for an Essex middle school’s parent teacher student association admitted he drained $29,000 that kids raised selling chocolate bars, and spent it on DraftKings and FanDuel
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
@smackmiaround The location is wrong but the whole country being one color without state lines is somehow the most jarring
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
@dog_rates Here’s Lavender
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
6 months
Cosmo’s Pizza and Qdoba and Moe’s bagels don’t have chicken tikka masala, so I usually go to Little India for that. Sorry if this reflects poorly on me.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
5 years
What kind of person is still working as Bill Cosby’s publicist in 2019?
@thedailybeast
The Daily Beast
5 years
Spokesman for Bill Cosby calls Eddie Murphy a “Hollywood Slave” after Murphy’s opening monologue on “Saturday Night Live” mocking the disgraced comedian
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
5 years
Hi Twitter please tell me about the worst first date you’ve ever been on.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
8 months
@GClayMitchell1 Probably would help people avoid having their finances destroyed by some other person’s carelessness (or malice)
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
4 months
I guess I foolishly assumed people would be better at recognizing how rude and off-putting it is to join an established group, fandom, culture, etc, and immediately start demanding a bunch of changes and talking over the people who built it.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
3 years
One of the most important things they should be teaching in journalism school right now is that cops lie. All the time. In every jurisdiction. Treat them with the same suspicion you’d treat any suspect in a murder investigation.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
So I finally had a chance to tell my therapist that I lost my job and so naturally we have to have the “Can you afford to stay in therapy while your whole world is falling apart?” conversation that I’ve had with many therapists and I fucking hate this country sometimes
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
1 year
Man there’s nothing better than having to get in the car every single time I want to leave my house for any reason
@helaineolen
Helaine Olen
1 year
Many people like suburban living. They just don’t admit it — at least on this site— because they don’t want to seem uncool.
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@thesarahkelly
sarah kelly
2 years
@punished_cait I’m not sure I fully understand the situation but I know it’s bad
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