The Poke @ThePoke Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@EmilieMcKiernan

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@mo_zaga

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@bokeplokalmalam

@philnewsxyz

@Tantedesijanda

The Poke

@ThePoke

5 years

Britain leaving the EU

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@ThePoke

4 years

BREAKING: Panic in White House as scientists confirm loss of taste could be symptom of COVID-19

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@ThePoke

5 years

Don’t worry if you haven’t done well in your A Levels. At least you’re not a middle aged man on Twitter wishing death on a 16 year old girl who just wants to save the planet.

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@ThePoke

2 years

Liz Truss persuaded by aides to share a photo of Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe to celebrate her release.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

8 years

Somewhere - a bookshop employee deserves a raise

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@ThePoke

4 years

@realDonaldTrump

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@ThePoke

8 years

Meanwhile in Gotham

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@ThePoke

5 years

If they had kids.

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@ThePoke

4 years

"What did I tell you to say?" "You told me to say it was too early to draw conclusions." "And what did you say?" "I said it was those care home bosses what done it."

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The Poke

@ThePoke

7 years

Behold, the majestic roar of a Lynx

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The Poke

@ThePoke

2 months

#ElectionDay

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@ThePoke

2 years

The Bank of England takes further steps to protect the economy.

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@ThePoke

4 years

Not sure who made this but 👍

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@ThePoke

7 years

How fake news happens...

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@ThePoke

5 years

Boris Johnson looks like a divorced dad who has arrived early to pick his kid up and is desperately trying to look cool in front of his ex wife’s new boyfriend.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

5 years

Many congratulations to Nigel Farage for being elected as an unelected EU bureaucrat.

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@ThePoke

7 years

Michael Gove’s barista is our HERO

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@ThePoke

1 year

Boris Johnson has been reselected to stand in Uxbridge and South Ruislip. He plans to visit as soon as he googles where it is.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

5 years

Hey, Stanley Johnson, we can actually spell ‘Pinocchio’, no problem. We can also spell ‘Your son is a despicable, lying, misogynistic, racist disgrace who needs to keep his dirty sausage fingers the fuck away from our NHS’ just fine too.

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@ThePoke

5 years

Alexa, show us an example of someone being absolutely flummoxed by a question and making an utter tit of themselves on TV.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

7 years

A big wooden penis has mysteriously appeared six thousand feet up an Austrian mountain

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The Poke

@ThePoke

8 years

This is like a shot from Eastenders

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The Poke

@ThePoke

9 years

A Christmas message from Transport For London

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The Poke

@ThePoke

4 years

'What did I tell you to do?' 'Maintain a statesmanlike tone so people understand the gravity of the situation.' 'And what did you do?' 'I said "'Tis the Season to be jolly careful."'

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@ThePoke

5 years

Boris Johnson PM drinking game: 1. Start drinking now 2. Don’t stop.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

4 months

Good morning to everyone except anyone who sees one lane of a road is closed further ahead, but carries on driving up it anyway, and then expects someone who has queued in the open lane to just let them cut in.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

4 years

#Covid19UK

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The Poke

@ThePoke

2 years

Nadhim Zahawi is keeping quiet on his dealings with HMRC but Twitter isn’t – 15 favourite reactions.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

7 years

Playboy doesn't just have naked women. Once it even put a prick on the cover

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The Poke

@ThePoke

2 years

Jack Monroe’s frank rebuttal of an ignorant take on food poverty was the best possible response. (Via @BootstrapCook )

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@ThePoke

5 years

“So you promised not to try some tedious infantile prank with the letter. What did you do?” “Tedious infantile prank with the letter”

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The Poke

@ThePoke

7 years

Flawless

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The Poke

@ThePoke

4 years

Simply 17 glorious times Mark Hamill totally owned Donald Trump (by @HamillHimself )

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@ThePoke

5 years

BREAKING: Government confirms new #Immigration policy is to turn UK into such a nasty, uncaring, self-interested little shit-hole that no-one will want to come here.

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@ThePoke

1 year

"I once spent £220,000 of taxpayers' money producing a 50-page defence dossier that boiled down to 'I'm just really stupid'." #Partygate

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@ThePoke

2 years

The SNP’s Stephen Flynn brutally bodied Sunak, Johnson and Zahawi with a single, magnificent question at PMQs #PMQs

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@ThePoke

4 years

Good morning

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@ThePoke

5 years

"I fought the Law and the Law won"

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@ThePoke

2 years

Liz Truss, in a nutshell.

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@ThePoke

1 year

#PrivilegesCommitteeReport

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@ThePoke

5 years

BREAKING: UK decides not to proceed with Supreme Court judgement on prorogation of Parliament as Twitter user Kevin1132766A23 has looked at the finer points of law and decided it's just another fucking plan to block Brexit by the liberal elite establishment etc etc

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1 year

"You wouldn't happen to have a copy of 'Excuses a 12-year-old Would Be Too Embarrassed to Use' by A.B. de Pfeffel Johnson, would you? Oh, you do! Splendid!"

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The Poke

@ThePoke

3 years

Fixed it

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The Poke

@ThePoke

5 years

BREAKING: Leo Varadkar explains to Boris Johnson the problem with his latest Brexit proposal

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@ThePoke

6 years

Mind blown

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@ThePoke

5 years

BREAKING: Boris Johnson gets Brexit update from Irish PM Leo Varadkar in Dublin.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

9 years

Hope this gif eases your hangover

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@ThePoke

4 years

Marcus Rashford is sharing places doing free kids’ meals because the government won’t and it’s an amazing read

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@ThePoke

5 years

Heroic deeds in Las Vegas

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@ThePoke

10 years

There’s Too Soon. Then There’s Way, Way, Way Too Soon. http://t.co/5OTRY08ECC http://t.co/8tW25zzERr

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@ThePoke

4 years

Goodbye, Donald Trump. You certainly made a lasting impression. [sound up] #Election2020results #ByeByeTrump

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@ThePoke

3 years

Nadine Dorries claims the Tories created twice as many jobs in Hartlepool as there are people.

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@ThePoke

3 years

Wetherspoons ‘ran out of beer’ and sympathy for Tim Martin was in short supply

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The Poke

@ThePoke

6 years

#recap The brilliant Jacob Rees-Mogg takedown we all wish we’d written

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The Poke

@ThePoke

7 years

Not the first to say it, but definitely the most succinct. It's our letter of the day!

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The Poke

@ThePoke

7 years

Blueprint for new Brexit stamps revealed by @SuzMcC72 #Brexit #Stamps #PokeChallenge

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The Poke

@ThePoke

4 years

@realDonaldTrump

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@ThePoke

3 years

A friendly reminder that if your children don't join in with the One Britain One Nation song on #OBONDAY21 , the harvest will fail.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

1 year

Nadine Dorries’ ‘poor me’ routine over missing out on a peerage drew the scorn it deserved.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

5 years

"Choosing a Tory leader is much like making love to a beautiful woman. First there's some jockeying for position, a bit of small-talk, and maybe even drugs. Then you get some support behind you, beat off the opposition and finally insert Johnson. Then we're all fucked"

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@ThePoke

4 years

'And then he said STOP THE COUNT'

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The Poke

@ThePoke

6 years

If you cover half of Harrison Ford’s face with your thumb you can see him acting out two different emotions at once

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The Poke

@ThePoke

2 years

32 favourite scathing reactions to the Liz Truss comeback essay.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

7 years

The BBC caption writers aren't taking any prisoners tonight. #BBCDebate

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@ThePoke

5 years

Donald Trump's cavalcade leaving Stansted Airport

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@ThePoke

3 years

"I once claimed that 16 Tory Party chairmen who donated £3m each and got peerages were just philanthropists and it was all a funny coincidence."

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@ThePoke

2 years

Matt Hancock filled in for James O’Brien on LBC and it went just as well as you hoped it would

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@ThePoke

8 years

Three cheers for Lab MEP @sebdance holding this sign behind @Nigel_Farage whilst Farage praises Trump & Muslim Ban

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The Poke

@ThePoke

8 years

Squad goals

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The Poke

@ThePoke

2 years

Jack Monroe ( @BootstrapCook ) comprehensively debunked a Tory MP’s claim that people use food banks because they can’t cook or budget.

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@ThePoke

5 years

This takedown of Piers Morgan for saying ‘no deal is actually Brexit’ went viral because it’s forensic and utterly brutal

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@ThePoke

2 years

Jacob Rees-Mogg described postponed Brexit measures as ‘an act of self-harm’ and there’s not enough facepalm in the world.

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@ThePoke

4 years

When you wake up and remember picking a fight with Scotland.

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@ThePoke

5 years

Help us out here. What did Emily Maitlis write on her pad? (Scrawl it on a piece of paper, take a picture and reply to this thread.) #whatemilywrote

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@ThePoke

4 years

“But as you can see, it's a beautiful day, the schools are open, and people are having a wonderful time.”

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The Poke

@ThePoke

6 years

She can kill with a clap, she can wound with her eyes And she's far from impressed with your Soviet ties And she'd quite like to stab you and laugh as you bleed She thinks you're a child but she's Nancy Pelosi to me

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@ThePoke

4 years

Priti Patel to hold Rose Garden press conference to explain how she accidentally bullied people while testing her eyesight.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

5 years

BREAKING NEWS: Theresa May throws herself under the bus. Misses.

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@ThePoke

2 years

Rishi Sunak is getting a publicly-funded enquiry into who grassed up his non-dom wife.

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@ThePoke

1 year

The current news cycle.

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@ThePoke

2 years

The Mail used a picture of Emily Clarkson without permission and the photographer’s response gets better and better

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The Poke

@ThePoke

7 years

Wonderful moment Donald Trump is owned by Polish president's wife. More here

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@ThePoke

1 year

People are baffled by the Question Time audience member who voted Leave to end safety rules for roofers.

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The Poke

@ThePoke

10 years

Meanwhile at Comic Con http://t.co/2OJgDNOPlc

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@ThePoke

4 years

Piers Morgan’s glorious takedown of Matt Hancock over free school meals had everyone cheering (even people who don’t like Piers Morgan)

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@ThePoke

7 years

#BritishThreatLevels is the funniest and most British response ever

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@ThePoke

5 years

BREAKING: Shock as Jacob Rees-Mogg turns out to be appalling twat again

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@ThePoke

2 years

Jacob Rees-Mogg tried to own Krishnan Guru-Murthy and came across like a right Steve Baker

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@ThePoke

2 years

"Now, Boris - tell them that you completely deplore all forms of misogyny."

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@ThePoke

1 month

"Just one more thing ...my wife loves bath bombs and sausage rolls. Can you tell me where you got those bags of them in your kitchen? I'd like to buy her some."