Justin Myers @theguyliner Twitter profile

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Justin Myers

18 days

In the new @guardian Blind Date, they eat sticky ribs in a car park, talk about 'lots of things' and… there are some scores. My review:

Lauren and Ben

October! When Haribo finally gets its sh•t together and launches 1,200 different types of foamy gummies shaped like skulls. Kicking off 'Pumpkin Spice/Instagram collage/I'm wearing a scarf 24-7 even...

theguyliner.com

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 months

“take thee, Putin…”

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

2 years

The only Christmas present I truly desire* is to never have to see the Marc Jacobs ‘Daisy Daisy Daisy Daisy Daisy’ advert ever ever again

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

If you see someone going into an accessible toilet who doesn’t appear to have a disability, it’s your civic duty to mind your own fucking business.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

I'm always so impressed by people who have actual hobbies: pottery, swimming, crafting, etc. My only hobby is 'not being at work'

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

The X Factor ended in 2008.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

I’ve been thinking about this most days for almost a decade.

My son's tattoo hurt me deeply

When Tess Morgan's son came home with a tattoo, she was griefstricken. She knew her reaction was OTT (he's 21) but it signalled a change in their relationship

www.theguardian.com

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

In May 2020 I cycled through Hyde Park and police in a big armoured truck were shouting “GO HOME” through a megaphone at someone sitting on a bench.

Paul Brand

@PaulBrandITV

3 years

NEW: Downing Street staff and Boris Johnson pictured drinking wine in the No 10 garden last May when the rest of the country was limited to meeting just one other person socially outdoors. Via @guardian

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

Boyfriend and I had some pretty vicious homophobic insults and threats hurled at us by two young women as we walked in front of them earlier. A crowded place. Broad daylight. I must admit, this is starting to wear me down.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

Enjoying these accounts of Madonna telling Harvey Weinstein to go fuck himself, repeatedly, in 1991.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

If your girlfriend or boyfriend got the A-level results they wanted and is off to university, cherish these next few weeks together – you’ll be dumped by Christmas.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

If your boyfriend or girlfriend got good A-level results today and is going to university, enjoy the rest of the summer together – you'll be dumped by Christmas.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

Not much use being “in floods of tears” watching It’s A Sin if your empathy doesn’t extend to non-fictional LGBTQ+ people

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

The last time I believed my vote would lead to a better world.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

Stay alert? It's a fucking virus not a paedo with a bag of boiled sweets in his Ford Capri.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

11 months

Pubs and restaurants should provide chairs with a back. I refuse to sit on a stool, I’m not milking a cow. Also you shouldn’t FaceTime on a bus.

girl fieri

@realgirl_fieri

11 months

What is the most boomer complaint you have? Mine is I think people take their dogs too many places for my taste and also I think everyone should be more punctual.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

It’s 13 years today since democracy – and television – peaked

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

Remember when voting was fun?

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

Oh I *know*

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

Some of you have never had to save up your Boots points in case one day it's the only way you can buy lunch, and it shows

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

8 years

This picture of Carrie Fisher says it all. 💔

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

My Yorkshire grandma died 8 years ago today. She once ran off with a postman but Grandad lured her back with promises of “one new dress a week”. The postman won a huge sum on the pools the next day. The. Next. Day. “Biggest win ever,” she’d tell me, between long drags on a B&H.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

Welsh signs are like when your friend tries to tell you something on a packed dancefloor and you go "what?" so they tell you again, louder

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

Men, please don't be a dickhead about this.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

Back in May 2017, I watched two @guardian Blind Daters fall in love right there on the page and predicted they’d get married. Today, I’m at their wedding! I went back to review my first review:

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

This is a proper exclusive! Lorraine Kelly and the actress who plays her together on a magazine cover for the very first time!

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

Whatever happens, we’ll always have this moment

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

Fuck any parent who'd rather their child were miserable than queer

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

11 months

Voice like a fire in a pet shop.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

I also think about this deranged oversharing adult constantly. Please read this, it’s amazing. A letter to a national newspaper complaining a teenager left you on read.

A letter to … My godson, with whom I’ve decided to sever ties

The letter you always wanted to write

www.theguardian.com

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

1 year

That guy who wants to live until he’s 200 looks like he’s just been found dead in a nightclub toilet

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

In the latest @guardian Blind Date: Reader, they bang, and it's quite the tonic. My review:

Jonathan and Matt

Do you remember, back at the top of the year, when our January blues were all but obliterated thanks to two women? Much has been made of the legend of

theguyliner.com

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

It's like the first 30 seconds of an episode of Casualty

BBC News (UK)

@BBCNews

3 years

Swimmers enjoy warm weather in London at the Sky Pool which is believed to be the world’s first transparent pool built between two skyscrapers

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

I think maybe M&S needs to sit in a quiet room with a mindfulness podcast on or something

M&S

@marksandspencer

4 years

Move over, mince pies: Percy Pig Pies are here! Crisp pastry with a fruity filling, Percy-flavour sponge and pink fondant icing, topped with... Percy, of course. In store now.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

Never bang anyone whose profile pic is a screenshot of them appearing on BBC News

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

Never mind that the new Doctor Who is a woman – she's from YORKSHIRE. New catchphrase: "switch that immersion off; I'm not made of money"

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

If drinking a tepid can of M&S cocktail on a train is the height of the elite then I must be third in line to the throne

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

My boyfriend and I were verbally attacked in the street by a homophobic stranger yesterday. I wrote about it.

Saturday

I keep moving. I am always moving. I take the stairs, not the lift, never stand on the escalators if on my own, but walk up them instead. I don’t

theguyliner.com

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

Me 10 seconds after the friend who swore me to secrecy leaves the room.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

“No you pay at the next window; I just take the order.” #Eurovision

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

In 2020, BDE stands for Big Diana Energy.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

1 year

Ooh so many people discovering Liz Jones today! Her take on Glastonbury is priceless:

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

I really want to be that one friend of Meghan Markle's who takes an epically long drag of a Marlboro Menthol and says, "Babe, are you ABSOLUTELY sure about this?"

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

Why do straight allies need to be told how great they are all the time? Is congratulation the only way to keep their hands off our throats?

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

2 years

If you weren’t particularly nice to someone at school, please never ever ever contact them years later.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

Oh I know!

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

Please someone invent a time machine so all these people obsessed by getting everyone back in the office can go back and be the Victorian mill-owners they’re so desperate to be

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

“And now, for viewers in Scotland, the news where you are.” (📸 – my dad)

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

Why can't I be a floaty summer person, and arrive everywhere perfect and unbothered, instead of Brian Blessed getting out of a tumble dryer?

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

Would give my right arm to see Madge down the Royal Mail depot waving a crumpled "sorry we missed you" card.

Madonna

@Madonna

7 years

When you've been arguing with fed-ex all week that you really are Madonna and they still won't release your package. 🙄! #bitchplease

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

I wrote about the bizarre smear campaign against Alexandra Burke – and why I’m not having it.

Alexandra the Great: In defence of Alexandra Burke

How do you solve a problem like Alexandra? Maybe she isn't the problem. I was bullied at school. I may have mentioned it. From my very first day, when I

theguyliner.com

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

Realising how much I’ll miss table service.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

Oh the LUXURY of having someone call you gay and taking it as a compliment not worrying they'll kick your head in. YOU LUCKY BASTARD.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

I will not consider lockdown to be over until the Guardian can safely send two nitwits to a restaurant in the Blind Date column.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

Rizzo is the main character in Grease.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

When people in your hometown moan about your “fancy London ways”

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

I’ve lived in London nineteen years and I still can’t get over how bad the fish and chips are

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

If your boyfriend/girlfriend gets good enough A-level results to go to university, enjoy these last few weeks. You'll be dumped by Christmas

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

Oh, I *know*

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 months

Sunak looks like he just got off the log flume at Flamingo Land

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

2 years

I want to go to a hot country, sit outside at a café, order a soft drink that is not available in the UK, and stare into the middle distance until it’s dark

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

Tom Daley naming his son after his late father is lovely. This is what Tom said when his dad died of cancer in 2011.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

2 years

It’s 11 years today since my Yorkshire grandma died. She once ran off with a postman but eventually returned to Grandad. The postman won a huge sum on the pools the next day. The. Next. Day. “Biggest win ever,” she’d tell me, often, between deep drags on a B&H.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

Every now and then (daily), I remember that a magazine tried to expose Vanessa Feltz as a secret custard drinker so she went on the radio and knocked back a whole glass live on air. What a woman.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

OK, so here's ME, on the cover of Guardian’s Weekend! So thrilled! Catch me in my favourite mag this Saturday, celebrating 10 years of the Blind Date, going behind the scenes of my favourite obsession. Also: OMG

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

Alanis Morissette opening her spoon drawer

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

Devastated about Guardian Weekend, Guide, and Review. Weekend is truly my favourite magazine – reviewing the Blind Date column was a joy, writing for them was a dream come true, and I still can’t get over being on the cover last year. Such a wonderful team to work with too. 💔

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

If you donate to this, you are a fucking weirdo. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

BBC Politics

@BBCPolitics

5 years

Fundraising appeal to raise £500k by weekend launched for Big Ben chimes

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

I have never ever met a straight man cool with being mistaken as gay unless it somehow led to him getting attention from women.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

Sometimes I go to post a selfie on Instagram and think, what the fuck am I doing, I’m 45, who is this for? And then I post it anyway.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

What common phrase do you loathe for absolutely no reason? Mine is when someone refers to a place they used to live as their ‘old stomping ground’ – makes my teeth itch.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

Only two more shopping days until every straight man you know marches into Boots, sweeps his arm along the 3 for 2 gift shelf and buys whatever falls into his basket.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

Do people still say “very well” in that really seething way that means “suit yourself”? I miss it. Such bitter politesse that says a thousand words.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

I shall never again be remotely troubled by impostor syndrome.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

If your job involves making sure someone gets paid, that's the most important part of your job. You are light. You are heat. You are food. You're the difference between a day staring at the wall and a day breathing easy. Don't mess with people's lives. Pay them.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

1 year

@shockproofbeats Single-handedly murdering the trend for dewy skin

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

Today would’ve been my paternal grandmother’s 92nd birthday. She once ran off with a postman but was eventually convinced to return to Grandad. The postman won a huge sum on the pools the next day. The. Next. Day. “Biggest win ever,” she’d tell me, between long drags on a B&H.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

Warren Beatty getting short shrift around the same time is also a delight.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

8 years

Carrie Fisher affectionately destroying George Lucas at a lifetime achievement award ceremony is 4 minutes of JOY

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

8 years

We get it: being thought of as a woman or queer would be the worst thing in the world for Trump or Putin. Cool. Find another way.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

In the latest @guardian Blind Date: knickers, negronis, party crashers, snogging, and an ugly cat. There's a lot to get through. My review:

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

Theresa May is so that woman behind the Post Office counter who closes her window when you’re next in the queue but still sits there.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

Perfect songs, with no faults whatsoever, except maybe they don’t last for 12 hours: – Heart of Glass – I Feel Love – Like a Prayer Any more?

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

Please, if you are pregnant, wear one of those “baby on board” badges because I have just ruined another woman’s morning by offering her a seat.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

6. Pretending to be Banksy

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

BREAKING: Fuck off

What not to wear if you are a man over 50

When self-confessed fashion hoarder Adrian Clark hit 50, he knew the camouflage trousers and Converse had to go. He shares his age-appropriate style tips for men

www.theguardian.com

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

In this week's @guardian Blind Date: fucking hell. My review:

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

This previous attack was just five weeks ago. I’m 45, so I’ve had around 40 years of this. It never gets any less frightening. Is this forever? What about when I’m too old to walk quickly away? Or can’t see or hear them coming? Basically, I’m fucked.

Justin Myers

@theguyliner

4 years

My post-vaccine high was marred somewhat by a random stranger shouting homophobic abuse as they cycled past me walking down my own street to go home. Look forward to thinking about those five seconds forevermore!

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

Sorry but the Diana statue should be wearing the revenge dress

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

I regret ever telling a young LGBTQ person that it gets better. I’m really not sure that’s true.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

Fucking hell one of my school bullies grew up to be an ugly bastard. Thank you Facebook. ❤️

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

This whole “smartphone zombie” thing is a digital update of the slating I used to get for sitting quietly reading a book on my own. If you want people to look up from their phone and talk to you, be more interesting maybe?!

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

It’s like football is *trying* to come home, but on the District line. #ENGCRO

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

Grindr, but for the nearest air conditioning.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

Ann Widdecombe is a constant reminder that Pride Month is just 30 days, but a bigot gets to talk hateful bollocks all year round.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

5 years

The only Bishops whose opinions matter to me in the slightest.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

3 years

30 years ago today, to go on GCSE study leave early, I had to get all my subject teachers’ signatures. My PE teacher asked if I was leaving early so I could go to London and be a rent boy. I’m marking the day by appreciating how far I’ve come, while he is still a cunt, probably.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

8 years

LGBT people literally cannot predict how anyone will react. This is why many hide it and don't come out. Stick to being happy for him maybe.

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

7 years

People who grew up in houses with ensuite bathrooms sure love telling you to go on adventures, don't they?

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Justin Myers

@theguyliner

6 years

Hello I wrote about the use of the word "faggot" in Fairytale of New York and why it should be bleeped out when the song is played on the radio.

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