Diagnosed with Metastatic Terminal Bowel Cancer on 9th June 2021, with multiple tumours on my liver and lungs, this account will track my journey to the end.
I wrote the following thread on Thursday last week but only sharing now. I’ve used Twitter like a diary of my betting journey the last few years. This is the final chapter of my story.
Peacefully, on May 25th at 7.05pm, after a determined and dignified journey following a metastatic bowel cancer diagnosis. Graeme Dand, devoted Husband to Denise and Dad to Sofia, Olivia and Jude, passed surrounded by his closest loved ones.🤍🏇
Thanks for all the love and support the last 10 months, kept me going but now is the time to say goodbye. I’ll miss you all and please try to take one good trait I have and take in into your lives to enhance it. ❤️
Probably my last tweet as moved into hospice last Friday. Too ill to stay at home or go to my Mums. Room is fine, has a family room attached. Dad stayed last night, Denise tonight. We told girls on Sayurday I would be gone very soon, both OK.
Hard to know how to write this thread but I’m not strong enough either emotionally or physically to write a long thread. Before I share what I need to share, just wanted to say thanks for all the comments the last 48hrs. Read every one, just too tired to reply.
Nothing more to say (too tired) but I think everyone knows how hard I fought this and it absolutely breaks my heart that this this is the end but thank you for the support throughout the journey. I’ve really appreciated it. 👍😭
A sincere thank you to everyone who paid their respects either in person or online at Graeme's funeral service yesterday
Graeme, not to miss an opportunity, was able to share first hand with his celebrant the story of, although short, the full life he lived.
I got in the house and for 2 mins, Jude didn’t recognise me. 😭 Heartbreaking. Few mins later and here he is laughing. I look absolutely hellish and I dread to think how much more weight I’ve lost. Don’t even recognise myself in this video but this is what Cancer does to you. 😔
It's been exactly 6 months since Graeme's passing, a half year that feels like forever. An even more significant milestone this month was Graeme's 1st heavenly birthday.
Happy Heavenly Birthday Graeme ♡
On Monday 20th June, Graeme's ‘angel dust’ was laid alongside his late Grandad with whom he shared a special bond and passion for horseracing.
Graeme's children attended the intimate ceremony where the story from children’s book, 'Til we meet again' by Julie Muller, was shared.
Funeral of Graeme Dand will take place 13th Jun at Dundee Crematorium at 11.30am. Live stream available, login details to follow. Family flowers only. Donations on the day to MacMillan Nurses.
* Whilst painting at nursery, Graeme was actually studying the form in the 3.40pm!🤍🏇
Wednesday 18th March, 1998. I'm 16 years old and in my 4th year at high school. My favourite bets at the time were Placepots at big meetings as with the large fields, it was not unusual for the dividend to pay 4 figures, so doing a perm for 10p or 20p, you still got a nice return
On Aug 10th, a memorial stone was placed alongside Graeme’s "angel dust". The first flowers placed inside the vase were by his wife & 3 kids and hold significance to a memory of one of the first family outings as a family of 5 to a sunflower trail around this time last year.
Getting weaker by the hour. Body fighting it but cancer killing me by the minute. Not in any pain, just slowly fading away. Totally bed bound, can’t get up for anything. Legs given in with many more bodily functions.
I’m back on Chemo on Wednesday (had my doubts this year at various points if I’d ever be able for more chemo😔) and I plan to write an update of the last two weeks then. Has been unbelievably tough but I’m still here. In tears writing this tweet but will pull myself together. 💪
It’s the 1st notable change in season since Graeme passed almost 5 months ago.He had a fondness for Autumn probably because National Hunt racing season really got going!Although, since becoming Dad, his priority was making memories with family,
especially in the run to Halloween.
That day will always be remembered by me! 😬
2.00 RSA French Holly 2/1
2.35 QM One Man 7/2
3.15 Coral Cup Top Cess 11/1
3.55 RSA Chase Florida Pearl 11/8
4.30 NH Chase Wandering Light 10/1
5.05 Cathcart Sparky Gayle 2nd 3/1
Right, that’s me done I think. Difficult thread to write and brings back lots of memories but as always, I want this journey to be as honest and transparent as possible and I wanted to share the story with all of you. One last thing….
#fuckcancer
Anyway, apologies for the delay in providing an update. I was so weak and tired in hospital and when I got home here, just wasn’t up to it. Not sure when I will provide next update as it has taken me 2 days to write this. 😔
One year that has felt like an eternity. It may be an anniversary but Graeme never leaves our thoughts. Today was about remembering & re-telling happy memories & celebrating the life of an exceptional man who I was privileged to call husband & dad to our 3 precious children
I’ve put comments off for this post but I know everyone is praying for me. 🙏🏻👍 Unfortunately, things have deteriorated over last 24hrs and I’m worse than when I came into hospital last week. Fighting an infection as well as being in pain due to my bowels.
Two years that have felt like an eternity. They say the 2nd year of grief is the hardest.
Yesterday, we planted flowers around 'Our Family Tree'. As Graeme neared the end in early May, Cherry Blossoms were in full bloom. By late May, when Graeme passed, the petals had fallen.🌸
Been trying to write this update for 5-6 days but found it impossible. Spent 8 days in hospital in the infectious disease ward fighting COVID and an infection. Can only describe my room as like a prison cell. Was left to rot in there.
Hope everyone enjoys their betting at Cheltenham and for everyone going, have a great time and have a drink for me please. Best of luck for the week. 🍀😉
Some good news….I’m getting home today after 12 days here. 😁 Absolutely shattered, weak, tired, can barely walk but I’ll be home with Denise and the kids tonight. 🥰 Oncologist said my body has been thru a war, so going to be long recovery but I’m doing Chemo on Wednesday. 💪
To watch a live stream of Graeme's funeral please see below.
Username mani6866
Password 135510
Service Date Mon 13th June
Service Time 11:30am
Website
* Did twitter know about Graeme's favourite film? 🍉
Two bits of news. Firstly, I’ve ran away from Death’s Door, was clearly just wanting to scare everyone including me.Will do a thread next week but it was a scary few days (didn’t feel right to comment on here) but I’m through it now.Good day again tomorrow and I’ll be home Monday
Once laid to rest, the children placed petals over their Daddy's 'angel dust'.
As the gentle breeze blew our hair and the warm sun kissed our skin we were once again reminded of Graeme's warm embrace.
It's been exactly 18 months since Graeme's passing. Feels like forever and only a moment ago, at the same time. This month brought another significant milestone, Graeme's 2nd heavenly birthday.
Happy Heavenly Birthday Graeme ♡
*A reel depicting his last 10 birthdays*🔊
Graeme always said, "Remember, remember, the
#th
of November!" In keeping with some more of his own birthday traditions, sparklers were lit and swirled, Happy Birthday sung and candles blew out, and his favourite steak pie devoured.
Always in our hearts, forever in our thoughts
On my way to hospital in an ambulance. New experiences every week at the moment. 😔 Issues with my heart rate this morning at health check and along with a temp, admitted to hospital again. They didn’t want Denise to drive me thru in case I had issues with my heart. Never stops.
On this day 12 years ago, after more than 11 years together, Graeme became my Husband. Three years later, on the same date, we were blessed with the birth of our 1st child and Graeme became a Dad.
Happy 9th Birthday Sofia! ♡
The Graeme Dand
@theformanalyst
Celebration Handicap will take place
@RiponRaces
this Thu 30th May at 5.25pm. In honour of Graeme's passion for analysing horseracing form, I welcome you all to get involved to celebrate the life of the bravest, most exceptional man I've known.🤍🏇
No Chemo update today. 😭 Turned up for Chemo in Perth, temp was 38.5, I have a cough and been up all night and I’ve been admitted to hospital in Dundee. Not in any state of mind to write anymore I’m afraid. I get no fuc*ing breaks at this, not one. Jinxed till I die I think. 😔
My last hurrah on Twitter will be Handinaps and I hope I leave some sort of legacy that means this game will continue in my absence and maybe it could even become an annual competition raising money for charity each year. ❤️
Remembering Graeme this Father's Day, on the day we celebrate Jude's 2nd birthday.
The moment Graeme introduced Jude to his big sisters. The first photo ever taken of Graeme with all 3 of his children together.
Treasure moments and memories this Father's Day. ♡
Q). What do you think is the most overlooked (i.e. under appreciated) factor in form analysis?
I’ll start by saying any answer I give here is my opinion and there is no right or wrong answer.
The Scots poetry results are in…..Olivia finished 2nd out of everyone in Primary 1 and Sofia finished 1st for all of Primary 3. 🥳 Sofia clearly has a knack for it as she won 1st prize in Primary 1 too! Daddy is proud of both girls. 🥰 Here they are with their certificates.
I’m emotional even kicking this thread off now as I’ve come into the Chemo day room and the first two nurses (two who tend to look after me) have nearly been in tears chatting to me. They were tracking me on the system last week and saw what went on.
TFA Betting Thread 3 - My learnings from the last 14 years of betting/trading.
I’ve been looking forward to this thread. 👍 Apologies for me spamming anyone’s timeline who isn’t interested in this or betting, just ignore it. 😬
Just one bet. Too tired and weak to look at racing. Drinking about 5 litres of water the last two days as infection making me so dry. Just want to sleep. 😔 Unable to eat. Eating fruit and snacks when I can. Just want to get better. 🙏🏻
First time I’ve managed to raise a smile in about 2 weeks.😁 Not sure who contributed to this but it is an amazing gesture. Thank you. 🥰Apologies for the lack of interaction on here. As a few know,it hasn’t been plain sailing since I got home from hospital but still fighting. 💪
Anyway, hopefully the above isn’t too downbeat. Got a few weeks to get myself in the right physical and mental state for the new Chemo and like I’ve done so far, I’ll face it head on and take whatever it throws at me. On we go. 💪
My 13th round of Chemo today. Was close to not going ahead as my bloods were not good (platelet levels too low) but after a discussion this morning with the Oncologist and the nurses, they have agreed to let me go ahead today. 💪
Well, here I am, my 11th round of Chemo and my second last round (for the time being) assuming my next scan shows nothing has got worse. It may end up being my last round due to my last one falling on the 23rd December but we’ll see.
Here I am at my tenth round of Chemo. Amazing really that I’m now into double figures. Suspect if I’m going to be here for a decent period of time, I’ll have plenty more Chemo sessions to come but nice to get the first 10 out of the way!
Here is the article I’ve been working on. Please read it with an open mind and any questions/feedback, feel free to get in touch. Even if it makes you question how you play the game for a few secs, it has been worth me writing this. Enjoy. 👍
First day of chemo today. Given I’m here most of today, I planned to have a good go at writing a thread or two on my phone (wasn’t really sure on what tbh!) but now I’m here, I’ve got my feet up, got the bottom of the chair up (like a bed!) and I’m not really in a writing mindset
Kids and Denise away to tuck into Chinese for tea, I’m sitting eating grapes in a 6 bed hospital bay where there is only me here! 🤷♂️ They made me a crown today which Denise brought up earlier.
#kingoflove
🥰
The race I’m analysing is the 7.15 Carlisle. Could have went with any race at Carlisle as there are 7 handicaps on the card and these are the races I specialise in.
We planted 'Our Family Tree' in our garden. As Graeme neared end of life, Cherry Blossoms were in bloom. By late May, when Graeme passed, the petals had fallen. Symbolic of the beauty & fragility of life, this tree is an eternal tribute to his time on earth & endless family love.
Olivia made me this card and Sofia signed a get well soon card. Denise brought them up. So hard being away from them this week. 🥰 Will do a thread at some point but I should get home tomorrow. Not fixed but CT Scan today showed no immediate danger, so a bit of a waiting game.
Here I am then, my 14th session of Chemo, 7 weeks after my last session. I said to Denise last night I can’t believe it has only been 7 weeks. Also shown how my portocath looks, healed very well and used for the first time today. 👍
An early Christmas present for me today as I start my 12th round of Chemo. Original plan was to have a break over Christmas but my next scan is the 6th of January, so going to squeeze in two additional rounds of Chemo. Next Chemo is 4th-6th January.
Around this time each year, they'd visit a local farm to pick pumpkins. This week the children returned to the same patch and made their perfect pumpkin picks for Daddy.
Always in our hearts, forever in our thoughts.
Gave the racing a miss today. Wasn’t feeling great last night and same again this morning. Hard to focus on anything at the moment. Just trying to get thru one day at a time and hope I start to feel better soon. 🤞
A heartfelt thank you to all donations in aid of MacMillan Cancer Support, £503.10 has now been gifted in loving memory of Graeme.
An edit of his funeral service is available to watch until 10th July. Login details;
Username mani6866
Password 135510
Assuming I’m awake and aware of my senses each afternoon, will have a wee play on Betfair but that will be it. Sorry I won’t be able to do more but got a bigger battle on my hands. Will keep fighting and hopefully I can come back from this. 🤞💪
Thank you again for all the comments and support since I’ve been in hospital and everyone wonders where I get the strength from but I definitely get something from Twitter. Didn’t want to pass away last week, hadn’t even written my final tweet to say bye. Anyway, 1-0 me v Cancer!
Anyway, that gives an update of the last two weeks. Been horrible to be honest but I’m still alive and kicking. Got my appointment with the Oncologist next Thursday, so have to hope putting myself through this has bought me more time but we’ll know more after next week. 🙏🏻
Thanks for all the comments the last few days. When you feel the way I’ve been feeling and you feel so low and weak, it is uplifting reading all the comments and it gives me a boost. Said it many times but the support on here is incredible. Thank you.🥰
A brief update on how I’m doing. Health wise I’m slowly getting better I think (not a smooth trajectory) and I still have the days where I feel rubbish but last week or so I’ve had more good days than bad days (4-3 I think!)
@tony_calvin
@Ed_Ware
Been a helluva week.Knocked on Death’s Door at least once but somehow,I’m still here. Not out the woods yet but fact I’m tweeting like crazy this morning is as good a sign as any! Honestly thought I was a goner (making me cry again writing this) but still here. Thanks for asking.
Made it. 😁
@DanBarberTF
working away was my first sight!
@DrSimonCMP
came to speak to me and a small loss to kick things off for
@CairnBet
as the favourite wins. Onto the next. 👍
Choosing to write and share this update whilst it’s still raw as I really want this to be as real and as honest as possible. Many of you have been on this journey now for 7 months with me and therefore, only fair I share how today’s appt went and how I’m feeling.
Had my Portocath fitted this morning. Slightly bigger procedure than I expected and was quite sore at times but at least it is done. Neck and chest feel very tight and rigid just now and sore when I cough but will hopefully ease off as the day goes on. Roll on next week. 👍
Thankfully, my bloods came back good and Chemo 2 is now underway. I’d by lying if I said I felt as strong and as positive as I felt 3 weeks ago when I started Chemo 1 but not really had an easy time of it. Probably feel about 75% as opposed to 100% for Chemo 1.
The new antibiotics started to work, they’d found the cure and the recovery was like something like Lazarus. Got better all day, Friday morning came and the Docs confirmed the infection was being beaten and we were back on top of it. I’d beaten it. 💪
Anyway, wanted to share this as I don’t want this to be all doom and gloom. I’ll probably crash and burn next week (🤣) but going to enjoy the next few days. That Sedgefield winner won’t pick itself, best get back to it!
Thanks again for all the comments and support on my posts.I appreciate this journey isn’t the nicest to read and given most of you follow me due to the horse racing, you’ve been sucked into a world of cancer and the journey of a dying man.I will get back to horseracing when I can
Not shared a photo of Jude on here for a while but he’s growing up so fast. 🥰 Used to look like me but he looks like a heavyweight now as I’m a featherweight. 🤣 Almost able to walk but crawling about like lightening. This is what gets me up every day and pushes me on. 💪
Going to head to the local pub tonight for tea with Denise and the kids. Not been anywhere apart from hospital visits for over a week now, so chance to get out the house. Not been eating great either as lacked appetite, so hoping to put on a few calories this evening! 🥧🍰
I’m overdue my bi-weekly update on all things cancer related but truth be told, it’s easier to write updates when they are positive and I try my best to not make my updates on here too depressing as we’ve all got enough depression in our daily lives without me adding to it. 😔
My body has been ravaged the last 4 weeks and I’ve been battling away fighting everything else, the cancer has been making hay whilst the sun shines. 😭 Body is no longer capable of fighting it.
Not the best update but you know what, I’ve got thru it again and although my body is a mess, I’m still here fighting and I’m taking on more Chemo today, so not expecting an easy two weeks ahead but I’m take whatever it throws at me.
This is a thread on this topic as suggested by
@colinhord
. To be fair, it was the only suggestion I received (🤣) but I do like this one as allows me to discuss aspects of my form reading that will hopefully give people some food for thought and I’ve tried to make it educational.
Wishing everyone health and happiness for 2022 and making many more memories with those you love. 🥰 Happy New Year to all my followers and friends on here and let’s hope 2022 is a better year for many of us. Best of luck. 🤞Some photo highlights from 2021 below. 😍
A really short thread (well, shorter than my usual ones!) with a quick update. This is in danger of reading like a fairytale but like everything I write on here, it’s as honest as I can be.
Many thanks to everyone for getting involved with ‘The Graeme Dand
@theformanalyst
Celebration Handicap’, either by placing bets, sweepstake, or attending
@RiponRaces
. A perfect tribute to celebrate Graeme’s life.
The miracle happened! Thursday came, obs started to improve, temperature reduced, slowly started to feel better, blood results improved and I have no idea if I’m thanking God or not for this but I basically rose from the dead.
Kept me going through the worst times and I’ll need the support more than ever over the next 3 months as I put myself thru the torture of another 3 months of Chemo and the cumulative effects are going to go crazy but it will be worth it if it has any impact on the cancer at all💪
I’m home and being treated remotely. Far too tired and weak to explain everything going on but I’m fighting as much as I can, not letting this beat me either. I honestly have the worst luck known to man. 😭
Likely I’ll need to be admitted to the infectious disease ward and treated there. Given what is going on, I’ll be happier in hospital I think than being treated remotely at home. Feels like I’m in a lot of danger at the moment, slept all day today. Hospital best place for me. 🤞
After school, we visited Graeme's memorial stone where we laid a trio of hearts & posy.Each flower symbolic of memories we've shared. The Thistle from his buttonhole & the Roses from my bouquet on our wedding day.Sunflowers & Tulips from our memories of flower picking as a family
Truly heartbroken, never felt a pain like it and cried most of today but had my family around me. Only have a few weeks left to live. CT scan on 9th will confirm the inevitable.
Today, we laid a trio of hearts & posy. Each flower is symbolic of memories we've shared. The Thistle he wore as his buttonhole and the Roses from my bouquet on our wedding day. The Sunflowers and Tulips from our memories of flower picking as a family.💛
Many thanks to everyone for getting involved with ‘The Graeme Dand
@theformanalyst
Celebration Handicap Stakes’, either by
@Handinapcomp
, the Aviva Graeme Dand Sweepstake, placing bets or attending
@RiponRaces
. A perfect tribute to celebrate Graeme’s life & keep his memory alive.