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Alisa the Writer 🐢 Profile
Alisa the Writer 🐢

@the_alisa_renee

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Followers
1,396
Following
3,124
Media
50,216
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♊️. mostly unserious. writer. PG County MD native/resident. sports & politics obsessed. Jeopardy fanatic. sometimes I'm funny but only by accident.

Maryland, USA
Joined August 2016
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
10 months
Anybody need a resume or an academic paper this weekend? I have time. I also have time for -wedding vows -Dear John letters -“fuck this job I quit” letters -obituaries (sorry for your loss) - website content -scrips for internet skits -anything with words I got you 😊
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Last Seen Profiles
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NITIN M N K 🇮🇳 45 ᴮʰᵃᶦʳᵃᵗʰᶦ ᴿᵃⁿᵃᵍᵃˡ

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HINDCO Recruitments.

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بنت الخرج ممحونه كلمني واتساب

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🐇

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MARRENTO PUTÃO

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lliy

@lliymth

@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
My parents are 75 and 84. My son & I do frequent drive-by visits to make sure they have what they need. Today, I guess they needed to party.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
6 months
I had an English teacher in 10th grade who made me redo a paper she claimed I plagiarized. I had to rewrite it in front of her. The 2nd essay was better than the first. She was sick when she read it. AND YES SHE WAS. Wonder where she is now?
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
Talking to myself on this app > going viral on this app
@z0ke
ZoKe 💫
@z0ke
4 months
ppl be posting on Twitter all day just to get 0 likes and talk to themselves
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
Idk y’all. This seems way more reckless and irresponsible than romantic to me-
@MrsJellySantos
Jelly Santos
@MrsJellySantos
4 months
When your husband don’t play bout you.. She told her husband there was a lockdown at her job and he pulled up and told her come outside cuz they wasn’t bout to catch his lady .. Now that’s love.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@ZondraHughes When the 9yo walked over to the door smiling I knew it was fake
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
1 year
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@JhonnyWhite69
Jhonny ⚹٭
@JhonnyWhite69
1 year
what's the craziest dickriding y'all ever seen?
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
7 months
Y’all have no damn idea what happens when a civilization collapses. No way you’d be saying this dumb shit if you did.
@fishontherun2
Czarina
@fishontherun2
7 months
You cannot threaten me with “the United States will collapse if you don’t vote for Biden.” I’m fine with that. This is a bad country that brings nothing but pain and suffering to not just most of the world, but to its own people too. Let it end.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
7 years
@renebodegas @ABC ESPECIALLY when it's not your money. I absolutely agree.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
5 months
Hey. Fun fact: Woe derived from Wodie- a New Orleans slang term. Drake just shortened the word and claimed it as his own. He’s never beating the appropriation allegations. You can’t make a regional hit with music you stole from another region.
@ThatDudeMCFLY
Waiting to Oxtail
@ThatDudeMCFLY
5 months
The whole world was running thru the 6 with their woes….. but Drake can’t make a regional hit lmaooo yall are fucking hilarious
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 months
Ear piercings take six weeks to heal. But a gunshot wound to the ear healed in a weekend?? Y’all. Come on.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
10 months
Y’all are killing me with the “ain’t no way he didn’t know who Simone was” convo because would YOU be able to identify the top rated soccer player in the world if you saw him in the streets? Probably not- unless you really love soccer. It’s not hard not to know things y’all
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
6 months
@kei_shhaa @Funsize_Snicker Girl- these people are dumb. 😂😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
6 months
@darnold0714 Love it!! And this was 97-98…whole thing written by hand with actual sources in paper books and no Google We were in the trenches back then 😂😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
9 months
@MrsJellySantos He stole money too. She was saving up for a Disney cruise with her girls and he stole some of it. And managed to pack his things while she wasn’t looking. And she’s a widow and this is the first man she’s dated since her husband died. It kept getting worse lmao
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
5 months
Drake gotta come back with “I am white… I am a fuckin bum I do live in a trailer with my mom…” 😂😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
7 months
Fuck Candace Owens and the horse she rode in on. Forever and always. I don’t care how many black podcasts she tries to pander to now.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
6 months
@JaggedDragoon39 And that’s how you clear a bitch. 🥹
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
@the_ceejay He clearly hates her. Putting her in direct danger.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
Shampoo takes oil stains out of clothes. Just pretreat the stain with shampoo and let it sit for a few minutes before throwing the garment in the washing machine.
@thetommyk_
Small pistol - 生き甲斐🖤
@thetommyk_
2 years
What is your honest take on LGBTQ and Homosexuality?? Your honest take.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
@jdeenmedellin And her silly ass is going… and recording for TikTok.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
@mam_sukwini @sylphanne He turned the song on!! That boy has incredible taste in music lol
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
10 months
I’m so sick of watching this lady cut her bra in half on my timeline 🤬
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
8 months
You look amazing but is he okay?! I’m concerned.
@LookAtLollyy
Uptown Girl
@LookAtLollyy
8 months
#ZuluBall2024
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
1 year
Remember when I said being a black Conservative makes zero sense? This is why. If you’re STILL part of a party that tells you over and over again out loud how much they hate you, you deserve whatever comes your way as a result 🤷🏾‍♀️
@NoLieWithBTC
No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen
@NoLieWithBTC
1 year
Black Republicans are now being attacked by their party for disagreeing with Florida’s new education rules claiming Black people “benefited” from slavery. “You’ve gone too far,” John James, a Black Republican, said to DeSantis. DeSantis is implying they’re fake Republicans.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
7 months
If you understand this joke and are a man between 37-47 years of age, DM me. I wanna see something right quick 😍 Bonus points if you can tell me what today is called
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
3 years
A study was performed that showed that cute kids were treated better by daycare staff. They are held and coddled more. Treated better by teachers. Attractive women are more likely to have people pull over to help them on the side of the road. It's deep.
@LifeOfAls
YT: LifeOfAls
@LifeOfAls
3 years
I think pretty privilege is more than just being bought drinks in the club etc… cause that’s pretty standard. To me it’s about the rooms you can enter, the people you get to rub should with, career opportunities etc…
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@Sassysamaa @humanfunction @_BayBey *quietly whispering as I’m walking away to do something I don’t wanna do* “That’s why that lady whipped yo ass that time”
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
As the mother I’d blame myself for this forever. Where did I go wrong??
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
5 years
@fmason3 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
5 months
“Touch grass” literally just means get off the internet and go outside. We use it when somebody tweets something stupid- like this. Go touch grass, boo.
@0xCAFEBEEF
cafebeef 🇦🇶
@0xCAFEBEEF
5 months
i know it sounds really funny and like a joke, but i actually feel like the whole "touch grass" thing is kinda classist? being able to go anywhere now costs a lot of money, like, if i have to go anywhere its over £50 i have to spend, i actually cannot afford to go places
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@gussthelawyer @ZondraHughes 😂😂😂 right. “Can’t believe they got me doing this dumb shit on Thanksgiving”
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
6 months
@YvnxLaurent @718SANABRIA757 Actually almost 42 and thank you so much for your worthless input. Have a great day
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
@deedee_dunlap In the age of active shooters, she is out of her mind.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
6 months
@krystleaugusti1 And left no crumbs, clearly! Shit, I wanna read it lol
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
3 years
@_omnificent_ @queenveej Girl. My mama!! First: “You got a cat?? Black people don’t like cats!!” Now: “Where’s my grand kitty?? I brought her some treats!” 🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
6 months
@LorHolyKaron It’s crazy what these teachers put us through, totally unbeknownst to us
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
@FreeAyannaa @platanossoy Baby said "What's happening?" 😂😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
1 year
@_heyyymscarter @SoAlmondie Chiiiiiiiile because VanVan be WORKING, you hear me?!
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@NoEmmeG Teenage years were suuuuuper easy over here. He was a terrorist all his single digit years tho 😳
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
1 year
….I coulda stayed home
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
@tweetwithashlee Girl they beating my ass 😂😂😂 I muted it hours ago
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
7 months
@Freeyourmindkid …and have never cared enough to be curious about how life works for the people living in them. Loud and wrong.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
I’m dropping Daddy off at his drs appointment this morning and the woman behind us decides to yell about how he’s taking too long and she’s late for work I got the fuck out that car so damn fast Yell at me, hoe. Not my 86yo daddy. Talk that shit to ME. She did not 🤐
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
Don Lemon. We went from hating his guts in Ferguson to being mad CNN won’t let him get drunk live on NYE anymore
@b0mbchell_
chellz.
@b0mbchell_
2 years
Which celebrity or public figure had the best rebrand?
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@___teraa97
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
10 months
@grayday44 I said probably. You’re an exception- not the rule- and that’s fine.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@kingdbtrev I argue that we don't need to watch it at all. We aren't built to handle this trauma over and over and over again. The GF footage shown in court gave me nightmares for days. We need to protect ourselves from these images as much as we can.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
5 years
@acnewsitics @realDonaldTrump And we also saw that look of deep satisfaction on Trump's face while it was happening.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
1 year
@KeyronL OUR folks didn’t. I didn’t see the cook but I know it wasn’t us 😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
1 year
@Great_Oswaldo @brownandbella Teachers can walk outside the building to meet delivery drivers at their cars. They don’t need hall passes or permission to leave the building. The idea that adults and children should have equal privileges is insane.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@kevinsamuelstv Real actual men outside in the real world don’t think like this. Just those who glean their value from Kevin Samuels and don’t actually interact with women themselves.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
I just…
@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
I tweeted about how I’d rather talk to myself on this app because going viral here sucks That tweet then went viral 🤦🏾‍♀️
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
5 years
As of right now, I have $412.22 in my CashApp... all from Twitter. Thank yall so so much. I've been crying all morning. Yall really did my single mama heart good this morning. Merry Christmas from me & my boy.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
@iArvindKushwaha @realDonaldTrump I'd vote for my cat first. She is fat and lazy as hell and would still be a better option than the idiot we have at the helm now
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
@JMKTVShow Absolutely!! 😊😊
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
@R_A_R_J_Jr @bader_diedrich 😂😂😂 he was showing off!
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
5 months
@BrokeJackjonson Thank you for this! So it’s even worse- he’s legit plagiarizing.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
6 months
@_christiana95 Oh that would have SENT ME. 🤬
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
3 years
@mixeddddoll Me watching this video. Way too early for this lol
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
5 years
I won a raffle at a shoe store for the Bred 11s.... the one thing my son wanted for Christmas. I have to pick them up tomorrow. Problem is, I don't have the $220 I need to buy them. That being said, does anyone need a resume? A paper written? Website content? Anything?
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@SheaButterMay @AshGotThis It’s the wig caps that take me out 😂😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
@britaneyyates2 @datboiKenny @themonicakay @ward8sfinest @UncleWheatstraw @MissMamas_____ @_mbk_juicemann @naturallysavia This thread was wholesome af. Yall made my day. And I'm bouta call my daddy. 🥰🥰
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
11 months
@aprettyPR “You get paid back to back.” You live in your apartment back to back, don’t you? Dusty ass. I would’ve been fired that day. She did so much better than I would’ve.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
1 year
@LayaShay @brownandbella Every person who walks into the building- even for deliveries outside of USPS, etc., has to sign in and show ID. If 40 kids ordered doordash every day, think about the strain that would put on school staff. They are already spread too thin.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
@ScumPablo 😂😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
3 years
@mi_keezy @_raviee God knew not to give me a voice like this. I’d be insufferable.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
My parents are over the moon. My mom's senior citizen friends have been calling her all morning and local news has been out to interview them. I can't believe how much of a thing that little video became. You'll brought my parents so much joy.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
3 years
@MphoCoyote @temiszn I still refuse to watch this movie. I’m good on black trauma.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
1 year
@LateefSaka @yay_itsrai This was controversial?? Straight fuckin facts if you ask me 🤷🏾‍♀️
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 months
@DaveMcNamee3000 @VeraPtDaRzrAway I laughed at this and was immediately ashamed of myself
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
@fengshuibitch @ShaShaRealSmove Joy & Pain × Frankie Beverly & Maze
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
3 years
@RealCandaceO I remember being in Italy while DJT was president. When the tour bus operator found out we were American, he looked at us with pity and said he was "so sorry that fool was our leader." That happened in Greece, too. France. Spain...
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
@YourfavZoe I was cheesing like an idiot the entire time I watched this. The cutest shit I've seen all day.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
6 months
@Taige42 She was trying to catch me in a lie I didn’t tell and I made a fool of her
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
I tweeted about how I’d rather talk to myself on this app because going viral here sucks That tweet then went viral 🤦🏾‍♀️
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@MelechThomas More than a Woman- Bee Gees Africa- Toto You Oughta Know- Alanis Morisette Time of your Life- Green Day Don’t Speak- No Doubt
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@1RealMir @evelynvwoodsen …as they should.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
3 years
@witchafineass @iamdonvaughn I looooove this gif 😂😂 Darius claimed this woman has been anonymously “harassing” him since Kitchenista exposed him. He discovered her identity, posted her @ and pics of her kids. Then went on live this morning and lied about having spoken to her husband. This is the fallout.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
3 years
I'm 39 years old and I swear to God I've never heard of not splitting rent, $200 dates or who fixes whose plate at cookouts in real life off the timeline These are only issues that exist on Twitter. In real life people are splitting rent. I promise.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
I DO NOT PLAY about my daddy or my son. Most of my other folks (mama included) hold their own pretty well but my daddy and son aren’t confrontational people. EYE AM I’ve never been in a fight and I avoid most confrontation but I be damned if people gonna talk crazy to them
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
I spent half a million dollars at the grocery store today... and we are getting Chipotle via UberEats for dinner. Smh.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
7 months
@MamaMoxieB Absolutely yes. We wouldn’t know what to do. It probably wouldn’t take 24 hours for this country to devolve into anarchy.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
3 years
@jamiattenberg My grandmother died in the house I live in and you can’t tell me she doesn’t still live here. But since she was my nana she’s extra nice to me so I’m not afraid. She died in the very room I’m sending this tweet from— my (our) bedroom
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 months
@JonnyBoyJones69 @CocoaDoe Umm… okay Jonny 👍🏾
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
10 months
@grayday44 You know what? You’re right. We can agree to disagree.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
8 months
@Ritawhoras @shannonsharpeee That baby is definitely not okay 😩
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
@getherouttahere @the_ceejay I agree with you. Clearly he doesn’t actually hate her but I forgot sarcasm doesn’t work well on this app 😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
11 months
@LenValyrian That’s that big Gemini energy. Untethered and honest.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
2 years
@OkayDareMe @Quinni_Matthew I heard that accent like “🤔 that sounds like home” and then I saw Suitland and got my confirmation. 😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
1 year
@kenpachikeem EYE can’t explain shit 😂😂😂 Issa mess tho
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
7 months
@DefAMustRead No you aren’t. And no, I’m not gonna waste my time giving you a lesson in geopolitics or how civilization works. There are countless examples if you’re actually curious.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
1 month
Keith Lee has an incredibly basic palette. INCREDIBLY basic.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
5 months
@iluvfashion618 I’m willing to bet that Drake “borrowed” every aspect of his rap persona and flow from other people in other places. Which is especially lame because folks LOOOOOOOVED early Canadian Drake. He could’ve just stuck to that.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 months
@AkanButNoJeezyy @kiathecaligirl I know my people when I see them. She did Millennials proud with this one.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
4 years
That tweet went viral... and now I got all these new followers and I gotta be interesting #onhere oh, the pressure
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
6 months
@Jun3isMe Same thing my degree is in. I also taught 10th grade English for some time and now I’m a professional writer. Old Miss McCleery would be proud… or maybe not 😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
7 months
Not married but I like crunchy peanut butter and my son likes creamy, so we just always have two peanut butters. I don’t understand why you gotta sacrifice what you like when you can just buy another jar 😩 Y’all make marriage sound like hell
@The_Coop
Coop
@The_Coop
7 months
I’ve been married for 15 years. I like crunchy peanut butter, and my wife likes creamy. I haven’t had crunchy peanut butter in 15 years.
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
3 years
@KB291 @cbcsports @bowmanlove31 I taught high school and my kids were like this. “You know this song? You actually know the words???” Like yes y’all I am more than JUST your teacher 😂😂😂
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@the_alisa_renee
Alisa the Writer 🐢
@the_alisa_renee
10 months
@_fabianstrategy I watch sports avidly and I don’t even know all the people you named here. 🤷🏾‍♀️
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