average jo @thatgirljo_ Twitter profile

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

3 years

Words of affirmation in the streets, words of degradation in the sheets.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

You know how many problems would be solved if women had to orgasm to get pregnant??

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

9 months

Sometimes having male friends is so hard.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

Thank god because I suck at both of these things.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

Might fuck around and mail my baby daddy a Father’s Day card just to ruin his current relationship. Should it include a bill???

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 months

I’ve had my job for 3 years, it’s not something I’m passionate about but it’s easy, I work 35 hr/wk, my pay is up $30k since getting hired, I have 42 days of pto to use this year, & amazing benefits. It’s not my dream job but it’s given me my dream life & that’s all that matters

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 months

Me clicking on and watching every single degrassi clip I see on this app as if I haven’t watched every episode 10+ times as a child.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

3 years

Goals for the day to keep me focused 😌

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

I just find it so funny that every guy who quote tweets this says they’d have hundreds of kids but 12k females have determined that was a lie.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Awww 4 years ago I walked in on my ex with another girl and “accidentally” spilled my hot coffee on the cute sleeping couple in bed. Happy anniversary to me 💗💗

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

I asked Alaina what she wrote and she dead ass looked at me and said “....aren’t you supposed to be able to read....”

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 months

It’s so crazy how we were taught to find a job we’re passionate about and that’s all that matters, but when I did that, I made $16/hr, worked 55 hour weeks, never saw my kid and was miserable. Now I go click clack on a laptop for 7 hours a day and I’ve never been happier

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

My 3 year old keeps demanding more gifts from Santa, like girl please chill✋🏻, Santa is a single mom.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

Being a toddler mom is frustrating because it’s like you do everything a tiny human yells at you to do & they become a demanding asshole or you say no and they become a tantrum throwing asshole so it’s really a lose lose. I WASNT READY.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

Ending friendships fucking sucks but sometimes you just have to protect your peace 😔

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

If this makes it to Facebook and my mom or my coworkers see it I’m going to have to kms

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

3 years

this guy drunk texted me at 3am saying “sorry for texting at fuck boy hours” so I replied at 6am saying “sorry for replying at milf hours” 🤕🤕

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

Do y’all remember when I blocked my ex so he EMAILED me a video of him fucking another girl, so then I found the girl based on her tattoos and messaged her on ig letting her know? Yeah she’s sitting two desks over from me at work 🥸🥸🥸

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

Me with a baby: I'll never bribe my toddler. Me with a toddler: you can literally have my soul if you're good for like 2.5 hours.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Are those folded tortillas??????

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

3 years

Is this the start of a love story??

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

If anyone else would like to shade me for being the sole provider for my daughter while the most her father contributed was offering to pay for an abortion you can kindly fuck off, I’m allowed to feel however I’d like for as long as I’d like 😘😘

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

3 months

My most recent ex and I broke up a year ago and my daughter still talks about him AVIDLY. We ended on good terms, he’s a great guy, but he made a lasting impression on her life and honestly I’ll prob never introduce to her another man again bc of that bc wtf is this 🤣💀

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

These remind me of those earrings every girl wore in their emo middle school phase.

loon 🌱

@loonpflug

5 years

i had heard dragon fruit trees looked crazy but i wasnt expecting this omg

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

When will it be my turn to be someone’s dumb bitch?? 😭😭

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Alaina is so dramatic. Her Minnie Mouse is in the wash and she has to watch her. 🙄🙄

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

Do you ever have flashbacks of a super embarrassing or cringey moment even if it was years ago and are mortified all over??

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

4 months

@sauermom_ Literally whenever I see a man over 35 chasing/preferring 20 something’s I’m like oooh a predator!!!

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

When my mom doesn’t answer her phone.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

I’d say I don’t deserve him, but I do 😌

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 months

The whole “I’m better than you bc I don’t give gifts for every random holiday” is so funny to me bc I just know your kid isn’t in school yet. Like sorry I will be setting up leprechaun traps, gnawing on carrots, hiding eggs & chugging milk bc it makes her happy & feel included.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

3 months

Pretty sure it was because my dad was able to start a company with a hs degree, buy a two story brick home for $40k and make sure my mom could stay home to raise me, while still maintaining middle class status on 1 salary.

Log off. There’s no show here

@DawieMokoena

6 months

Guys, how did our parents do it? How did they manage to remain calm all throughout adulthood and its demands?

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

3 years

My form of gentle parenting is just my kid following me from room to room crying while I repeat “please go into a different room, I need to take a break before I say something I don’t mean” 300x

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

I’ve got 10k in my savings but if my spending money for the week is gone then I am b r o k e budgeting is honestly a science

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

*put shredded cheese in a bowl for my toddler to eat* Alaina: “oh my got thank you so much mama I love you so much wowwwww cheeeeese I love cheese” Toddlers really are like tiny drunk adults.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

At Applebee’s tonight. Random woman: hello little lady how are you? Alaina: hello big lady, I have to poop really bad but I just can’t right now ok???? 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Y’all....my kid just came up to me after throwing a fit and said “mama I’m so sorry for throwing a fit and crying” I THINK I JUST LEVELED UP. I AM FEELING STRONGER.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

Y’all need to stop hyping me up or I’m going to drive my ass to the dollar store and get a card tonight.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

How many offspring can offset spring if offset could off sprung

Robert Littal BSO

@BSO

6 years

IG Model Claims She Just Gave Birth to Offset’s 4th Kid by 4th Baby Mama; Cardi B Would Be Having His 5th Kid by 5th Baby Mama & 2nd Kid in 2018 (Pics-Vids)

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

Lmaooo our kids will be like rt if your mom only bought you wooden monochromatic toys bc she didn’t want you to ruin her aesthetic.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

That awkward moment when your child’s never seen their dad, but comes home with this 😂😂😂

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

3 years

I know there’s a lot of people out there who have been abused by a narcissist that are reading about the Gabby Petito case thinking “this really could have been me”. I truly hope she’s okay, I hope everyone who can relate is okay.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

Alaina saw me change my tampon so now she keeps yelling “WHY YOU STICK A TOY UP YO BUTT MAMA??” Everywhere we go. It’s great 10/10 would recommend.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

1 year

People who co parent a PET with an ex are deranged and you will not change my mind!!!!

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

Princess poppy has arrived!! 💗💜💙

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

I'm all for parents making their own choices for their kids but if you think vaccines cause autism pls sail off the flat edge of earth.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

Yoooo at the park Alaina made friends with a little boy who was with his *v cute* dad and he asked her name and she goes “my name is Alaina a-l-a-i-n-a and my phone number is ***-***-**** do you want to hear my address too??” like damn thanks gf, you a real one.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

Me with a baby: “I’ll never let anyone watch my child.” Me with a toddler: “dear craigslist, does anyone want to hangout with a super cool toddler for a few hours?”

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

1 year

My child faces so many struggles every day, but she preservers and she’s so strong for that.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

A bird shit on my head but my paycheck was like $1000 more than normal so I really have nothing to complain about today.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Lmao you can say whatever you want I’ll never feel guilty about needing a break from my kid. Whether it’s once a week once a month or once a day. 💆🏼‍♀️

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

Love my new decal 😗✌🏼

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

1 year

My trainers the real mvp 🤧🫡

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

Sometimes it catches me off guard that I’m dating literally the most supportive guy ever. I could probably tell him I wanna rob a bank and he’d be like cool I ordered matching ski masks off prime they’ll be here Friday.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 months

When your child’s father is this insignificant >>>>>

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

8 months

What I gave in my work white elephant gift exchange vs what I got 🥲

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

1 year

I use ovulation tests & an app to prevent pregnancy bc 🙅🏼‍♀️🙅🏼‍♀️ to hormonal birth control. Well I’ve recommended them to all my friends who are trying to get pregnant and it’s worked for all of them within 2 months 🤣🤣 Team no baby 🤝🏼 team all the babies

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

So bold of my ex to be on bumble “less than a mile away” from me, at his gfs house, with a pic that his gf probably took of him leaning on his gfs jeep with him and his gfs dogs 😭😭😭

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

Can’t believe I had to wake up, cook my child breakfast and pay for my own Starbucks on Mother’s Day. How ghetto.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

Me asking the hard hitting questions (7 months later)

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Y’all ever pay for daycare or????

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Whenever my child throws a tantrum.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

Alaina swaddles and rocks my hairbrush every morning.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

@tprall8675 Mind you business Tim!!!!

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

My company upping parental leave even more is just 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

Just watched a @MannyMua733 video in front of my 2 year old and now she’s running around the house yelling “gor-gina” 🤦🏼‍♀️🙂

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

When I leave my face mask on an hour too long bc I’m lazy af.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Do you ever look at your man and wonder why he puts up with your needy, annoying ass? Bc same.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 months

@marrrriaaaaaa My job specifically isn’t hiring but look for global companies. Their benefits have to compete with the rest of the world which means more time off, longer parental leaves etc.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

What if edible arrangement made edibles arrangements.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

I told my 3yo that the electric bill was too high so we need to make sure we turn lights off so now she just follows me around turning every light off as soon as I turn it on. I’ve created a monster.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

I used to brag about how I worked 50hrs/wk bc it was my passion all while making $16/hr and now I work for a company doing a job thats easy and even boring but I make 3x the amount working 35hrs/wk and I can be a happy, involved, refreshed parent and that’s all I care about.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

The sloth DMV employees in zootopia is literally the most accurate character portrayal I've ever seen.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

Thinking about the time my ex called cps on me (where I worked) to report me because I ran out of body wash so I washed my child (who isn’t his child) with her baby shampoo instead.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Josh and his dad built Alaina a wardrobe for all her dress up clothes and completely surprised me with me yesterday at Alaina’s party. 😭💗

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

I just showed my child how magnets work and she just yelled “WOW MAMA DATS SO SUPER COOL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ALL THE THINGS MAMA!????” If you have self esteem issues, I’m renting my daughter out $40/hr. DM, seriously inquires only.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

1 year

My couch and rug got delivered today and I am obsessed 🩷🩵🤍

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

Please ignore that I used the wrong your 🥲

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

I had 3 glasses of wine tonight so if you see me retweeting things you don’t think are funny just mind your own business bc I’m on my couch laughing so hard I’m crying.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

@billabunghole 😭😭😭

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Rita on dexter.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 years

@raisingclem Wow fucking genius. I’ll address it to him and a different girls name too.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

5 months

@sauermom_ Literally I will never dream of labor!!!

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

When blink-182 said “work sucks I know” .....I didn’t feel it 15 years ago, but I feel it now.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

These clearance boots I got from Walmart are everything?????

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

2 years

We had my parents over for dinner tonight and they asked A what her fav Christmas gift was…she listed a few things she’s enjoyed and then goes “but mostly the best part has been spending the entire week with my mom” and y’all the way I started crying into my fajitas 😭

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

1 year

We went to visit my dad and all the nurses were obsessed with Alaina. As we were leaving she kisses my dad on the forehead and goes “you need to hurry up and get out of here so you can cook us dinner, we haven’t had a hot meal in weeks!!!” (We had a hot meal literally yesterday)

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

1 year

If you co-parent you aren’t a single mom, you’re a mom who is single.

assassin bug’s creed

@microgoeswild

1 year

What’s your Mom Twitter™️ opinion that would put you in this position?

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Idk what I did in a past life to deserve this big ass forehead but I want a refund.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

3 years

I accidentally matched with two twin brothers and they couldn’t even amount to one funny person. 😕

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

1 year

I told my bf I wanted to eat better but I get overwhelmed so he asked what he could do to help and I told him I just need someone to tell me exactly what to eat so he made me an entire meal plan for the week and had the groceries delivered to my door. 🥹🫶🏼

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

1 year

Alainas home from school today and she just came out of her room fully dressed and I jokingly was like where are you going? And she goes “oh grandpa just called me, we’re going golfing and having lunch at the club, he’ll be here in 15 minutes” like ok girl living my dream??

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

I get high off saving money. Just paid all my bills and put $550 in my savings and no one can tell me shit today.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

1 year

Not going after my bd for child support and just letting him do him while I peacefully and happily raise my child was the best decision I ever made. I told him one day she might want to know him and I won’t stop her, but until then we’re just thriving together just us two😙✌🏼

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Probably the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. What a perfect first camping trip, can’t wait for more adventures ⛺️⛰🏝🗺🛶 #ginniesprings

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

First ever school pics 🍎✏️📚💜

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Me: I’m going to keep all of Alaina’s school art!! Also me: wtf do I do with this

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Each month this year I want to experience something new. Whether it’s a new restaurant, new city, new book, whatever. I want 2019 to be my year of discovery.

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

7 years

“Raise your hand if you’re a 90s baby without a baby” First of all the 90s were almost 30 years ago....

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average jo

@thatgirljo_

6 years

Once I figure out how to keep my house picked up and organized for more than 22 mins a day it’s over for you bitches.

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