tess mcgeer @tessmcgeer Twitter profile

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tess mcgeer

3 days

wrote about girls

I thought nobody liked me, but I was wrong.

What can I remember about the summer I was eleven? I looked like a man made from a marshmallow and toothpicks—long, poking limbs and a big, soft middle, knees and elbows getting everywhere a week...

themoonseesme.substack.com

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Last Seen Profiles

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

3 years

christopher plummer lived a long life and was extremely hot the whole time which is about the best anyone could hope for

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

1 year

the bear is the most incredible show ever made about being 5’6”

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

huge 24 hours for stacey abrams specifically

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

2 years

“molly girls” …a slur

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

1 year

everything sucks but glad i was born in time to like once a week think "i can't wait until next year when all of you are in vietnam. and when you're over there, and you're in the jungle, and they're shooting at you, remember you're not dying for me, because i never liked you.”

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

Little Women (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

3 years

why does anyone think taylor should have "moved" "on" by now why do you hate to see a woman make things up in her mind and act weird about them forever. That's natural

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

1 year

out of respect for taylor swift aged twenty, toxic savant, i have no comment on lyric changes made by taylor swift aged thirty three, tshirt salesperson, coward

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

miniature pumpkins exclusively exist to be bought by people who are looking to treat their depression by any means that's not therapy

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

"Hill house, not sane" the most perfect comma ever committed to print

Dr Robert Lloyd

@RobLloyd91

5 years

60 years ago today, Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House was published by Viking Press in New York. It remains the unparalleled haunted house narrative and one of the greatest ghost stories ever written, with an opening paragraph most authors can only dream of penning.

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

made it to the last gasping coughs of 2018 willfully ignorant of the fact that SUPERNATURAL (2005) is a lawless heartland drama about known grifter brothers—including one dynamic depressed bisexual slut—wearing earth tones and confronting crises of faith and wow i miss that peace

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

btw this specific quote is from this time mag profile, but her being a supernatural fan was mentioned in a bunch of press she did during that 2018 election and i have in my infinite wisdom simplÿ carried that info around for two years waiting for this day

August 6th, 2018 | Vol. 192, No. 5 | U.S.

time.com

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

7 years

happy thanksgiving eve i am not going to get drunk with my high school classmates tonight i am going to wash my hair with thirty dollar shampoo i’m a woman now.

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

@Nicole_Cliffe an activity i found real joy in during college was to cheerfully shout at a party, "oh! this is from the oc!" when someone was playing their very moody indie rock playlist that they certainly were trying to pass off as having not been culled from the oc at all

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

ok there's no high school in america that a hot person in a bowling shirt could not assume control over in minutes

michael wave

@cryinggatwork

4 years

the way bella wore this on her first day and everyone was still obsessed w her

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

3 years

this horrible little project has revealed that there really are two americas.. there’s the one for regular people and the one for people who have just so grossly overestimated the cultural impact of mtv’s teen wolf

sara

@thisbemesara

3 years

what do you mean who is dylan o’brien

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

god dude lmao cas being like "the only reason i care about anything in the world is cause i care about you and also btw ur dad is a piece of fucking shit" is the gayest thing that has ever happened i have walked backwards into hell and emerged doing jazz hands i can't be killed

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

1 year

anyway pour one out for joan's poor roommate who had the guts to shoot her shot we stand with you carol

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

tbh game of thrones has always been bad it was just hard to see that before because lena headey’s original wig was so good

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

3 years

as ever, a great day to watch the very very wonderful Beginners!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

1. it is simply INSANE that this is really what happens in this real episode of the cw's supernatural 2. it is even MORE insane to imagine trying to interpret this is as platonic heterosexual content 3. honestly go on & crash the car dude i'm so tired

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

3 years

i mean ...fourth hottest even in knives out and honestly there's fluidity in this ranking because i was kind of just being weird about don johnson at the time

tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

thrombey family ranked from least to most hot: bill from IT: hitler youth edition, agonizing #still #with #her meg, sniveling book bitch walt, grifter influencer joni, noble class traitor captain von trapp, chris evans saying eat shit, power lesbian jamie lee curtis, DON JOHNSON

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

like godspeed kiddos u do you but i just cannot imagine denying yourself the deranged pleasure of this wild ass moment in favor of being mad about the quality of queer representation on a bush era fantasy television show about dudes with guns that's inexplicably still on the air

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

2 years

molly’s back for pride and she’s in her most homosexual shorts

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

straight culture never looked better than sweaty chris messina handing a plastic cup of draft beer to also sweaty amy adams this is both an open, earnest expression of personal arousal and a searing indictment

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

7 months

i do get it there are times in life when you’re in such extreme mental distress that sex with a man who can barely read seems like the only salve but most people get through that without ecoterorrism “haha”

Daily Mail Online

@MailOnline

7 months

Taylor Swift's whirlwind romance with 'soul mate' Travis Kelce has produced 138 TONS of CO2 emissions in three months - and the singer would need to plant more than 2,200 trees to offset the damage

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

1 year

it's fine. in 2010 she was seeing through space and time to understand the raw and violent truths of girlhood. now she is funding the future colonization of mars via massive cash infusions from the rich parents of middle schoolers. neither pursuit inherently nobler than the other

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

3 years

he said there's only one blue life that matters

Samperson

@SamNChiet

3 years

steve ???

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

this has been a very hard time for me and my brethren in the goes to the grocery store several days a week to walk in circles and buy exactly three items community

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

3 years

fucking insane not to go with "benana split" .....this is why the tabloid has fallen from its place of prominence in our culture!!

People

@people

3 years

Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas Split, Says Source: 'They Are in Different Points in Their Lives'

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

kinda feel like mlb trying to play right now is a slap in the face to baseball legend and pandemic victim edward cullen

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

2 years

so one thing is that jane fonda was right about vietnam another more important thing is that american culture is mostly just about hating on and attacking the hottest & most cool

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

7 years

ballet movies ranked: 1. save the last dance 2. center stage 3. dorinda’s plot in cheetah girls 4. the sex scene in black swan 5. barbie’s swan lake

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

LMAO fuck this show to hell where it belongs!!!!!!!!

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

there really are times when one cannot so much as glance at sam winchester and not see him thinking, like, i could be a lawyer, i could be california, get a dog, and ya maybe a wildfire would rip through and destroy my home one day but at least these two idiots would not be there

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

all do respect to anyone who in this wild moment elects to climb on their noble oppression pony and get mad instead of being alight w feral glee like.... christ i can't imagine life with ur miserable joy-averse brain lmao did you know the planet is dying let's have some fun bro

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

LIKE mere hours ago i was peacefully unaware that this is a show about two dipshits lol-ing and salt-tossing their way thru the midwest in a chevy impala as a diversion from the real work of unpacking their childhood trauma and confronting the fact that there is, somehow, a god

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

if i did not wish to be photographed and subsequently meme'd retrieving my massive daily dunkin order i would simply stop getting a massive daily dunkin order but i'm not the mind behind THE TOWN (2010) so really who tf am i to say

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

lifting the screenshot and then ruining my joke w some cornball shit lmao cmon dude

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

8 years

the only content i wanna put my cryballs on today

In Praise of Paris Geller and Her Anger

With Paris, Gilmore Girls insisted that ambitious women are compelling in their very ambition.

www.vulture.com

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

9 months

besides being transphobic you’re also wrong lol carrie is about what if your abusive jesus freak mom turned you into a weirdo but fortunately you have telekinetic powers strong enough to kill both her and all the people who bullied you for said weirdness. universal tale!!!!

little.miss.andrist

@radicalricci

9 months

a story that was heavily linked to the trauma of girlhood & female puberty being played by a man that has never experienced either is such a joke & insulting

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

3 years

bitch be quiet god will deal with u

Justin Timberlake

@jtimberlake

3 years

After what we saw today, we should all be supporting Britney at this time. Regardless of our past, good and bad, and no matter how long ago it was… what’s happening to her is just not right. No woman should ever be restricted from making decisions about her own body.

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

2 years

as a girl of molly experience

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

fully unrelated to the attached images i was thinking maybe about trying to drink thirty diet cokes, eat ten packs of mentos, do a couple cartwheels in the driveway, and see if i can rocket my stupid fucking self to tTHE MOON

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

because i physically could not stop myself, i wrote this essay about how supernatural, like all great american epics (i said what i said!!!) is mostly about death and our relationship with its specter during the time we are living lol

An Undead Elegy For the American Dream: On 300 Episodes of “Supernatural”

As of February 7, The CW will have aired three hundred episodes of the show that is a mournful and unwieldy sonnet on the myth of American greatness.

floodmagazine.com

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

cc veronica mars plz we need answers

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

jesus Please in your infinite mercy help this man download grindr already i'm so tired

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

now you might be able to forget about that, ░B░U░T░ ░I░ ░C░A░N░'░T░

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

they really did that wow ok

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

the choices we are making, the parallels we are drawing, the allergic reaction i am giving myself putting this daily clown makeup on...

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

if this daunting undone softness from a character witnessing queer romance, happened on, like, mad men, there would've been 30 professional recaps unpacking the screamingly obvious symbolism but i gave my life to a CW behemoth so i've gotta just holler like a banshee instead

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

lol this television program has no respect for me and i love that!! it's what i deserve

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

triangle shirtwaist factory taking out a billboard like "we love women"

이보영 Bo Young Lee (she/her/they)

@jboyounglee

4 years

It’s simple. If you tolerate racism, delete Uber. Proud to see these billboards go up in select cities across the country. Now is the time for all people and organizations to stand up for what is right. Also proud that Uber is a sponsor of this Friday’s March on Washington.

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

truly, t r u l y, TRU LY what the fuck am i supposed to do w this

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

Among the many reasons why it’s embarrassing when ppl complain that the USWNT are being poor role models to faceless rhetorical little girls is bitch u think knowing how to rally and keep it moving after days of heavy binge drinking isn’t a useful teachable SKILL? ?? grow up

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

am ostensibly dressed and ready 2 go out & do gay things soon but isn’t pride really about celebrating our truest selves idk

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

loved ones, they ask, tess, why would you suddenly get into supernatural at this late stage of both your life and its, and i'm like what can i tell ya guys i'm a huge comedy nerd

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

somebody really got paid US currency to be like you know what we need is to have cas sprawled in bed tits out coughing up a lung like the secondary woman character dying of a wasting disease as an allegory for moral failure in a french tragedy and i LOVE that for them amazing

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

i fear i'll sound condescending because i keep saying it, and i don't mean it that way at all, but i'm a lifelong cw head from back to the wb days, and the simple fact is nobody demanded work of this caliber, it's simply not part of the design, yet here it is over and fuckin over

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

supernatural really sends such a dangerous message with regard to how much of the time one spends operating a motor vehicle should include putting your eyes on the actual road

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

in one of the episodes i have watched dean wished for an italian grinder w jalapeño and the wish came true and he ate it and then he threw up a lot and that was it and yet it is my understanding that the entire canadian economy revolves around the filming of this program amazing

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

i guess u could say what i'm thankful for this year is that the pollutants in our air and the hormones in our food and the whip its i did that one summer have all finally combined to degrade the capabilities of my brain to the point where this is all i want or could think to want

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

as fun as it is to at least be able to note for the record that in the alternate future (Only 2014!!) end days post-apocalyptic timeline apathetic hippie cas and smitten warlord dean have absolutely banged it out, i'd still like to set my home on fire to rid myself of this curse!

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

undeniable that i've had actual real life sexual relationships of which i was literally a part which were on the whole less exhilarating to me than the way dean's dumb fingers drag around cas' shoulder here before moving away , ,was i dropped on my head as a baby?? i don't know!

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

1 year

she is the moment!!!!!!!!!’

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

seems fine

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

go on charlie speak truth 2 power

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

the change in intonation from confused on the "You have a guinea pig?" to deathly serious for "Where?" is so fucking funny i feel like i'm losing my grip out here

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

"i know What you hate /// i know Who you love" absolutely get the whole fuck away from me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my pores are dying beneath this layer of clown paint

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

never been kissed is by far the best movie in which a high school teacher falls in love with his student and then lowkey is Um super mad when he finds out she’s actually an adult

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

here's a question: why is this like the establishing ninety seconds of a porno if one of the stars chickened out and left

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

in a way, it's good i haven't gotten a better job yet because if i had disposable income to speak of i'd be calling a lawyer to file suit on negligent infliction of emotional distress, which would be thrown out immediately as frivolous litigation, but would, i believe, soothe me

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

same energy i bring to watching this programme

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

3. unfathomable, truly beyond the pale, an insidious act of violence meted out upon my being

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

this is just terribly soft and the thing i want to make clear is i absolutely never meant to live like this

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

i kinda feel like maybe i watched seven and a half seasons of this show just to get to this moment and truth be told it was worth it

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

counterpoint: he should say it

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

Me texting the friends, acquaintances, exgirlfriends, busboys at my college dive bar, dentists et al in the presence of whom i ever dunked on supernatural as the foremost example of the kind of nerd culture we're beholden to will into extinction to give them the news of my demise

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

i dropped my mug of tea in the bed just now but i'm absolutely certain it's not related to any of the actions of this horrible man

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

they—every person involved in the process to create these shots and arrange them in this order, the strange and diverse ways the scars from our culture's puritanical fear of intimacy show up, the seas which have yet to mercifully rise & wash us away—are truly So so wild for this

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

no but like that's it that's the show

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

anyway the thing is i love dean winchester to the absolute exclusion of all other things in the universe and that's fine!! it's called self-care, actually, and i'm doing good, i'm doing what i need.. . i'm doing personal development, valid, brave,

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

4 years

me 2 babe

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

this is aggressively pure

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

i'm.........................

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

lol bitch.........my favorite boy in the galaxy................the great love of my horrible life......that's enough outta u

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

jess told me last week, like, you'll know when you get to the one scene that makes the whole thing british men of letters thing worth it, and i can report, from deep inside the cave i constructed from pure energy of my own fury, she was fuckin right

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

me, A Merry Naif, some three hours before dissolving into a boneless, wailing heap on catherine and emma’s couch because dean referred to that trench coat bible bitch as “cas”

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

huge i’m sorry to everyone who knew me Before, but dean’s hand gently trailing down cas’ arm like he was afraid that once he pulled away he’d be gone again just eviscerated every last defense i had. This is my life now. please call medical professionals if you love me at all

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

well it took two weeks but we finally hit the point where, after emitting a short, wounded scream at a pitch only dogs can hear, i had to close the laptop and actually physically walk out of my home to pace the streets

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

1 year

i am as politely indifferent to jack antonoff as one should be toward a person who seems a little annoying but also co-wrote and produced "mirrorball" ANd i respect haters so i will hear out a well-crafted diatribe but unfortunately right off the bat we see a taste issue

rayne fisher-quann

@raynefq

1 year

this is an insanely definitive piece of writing. so precise and surgical and scathing — like a premature autopsy of our aesthetic moment

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

does anyone want to join my class action lawsuit jw

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

i love this song

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@tessmcgeer

5 years

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

so strange to feel that i am being actively bullied and still for the only thought in the creamy recesses of my brain to be, like, please..........keep going..........flick paper footballs into my face while telling me i'm the dumbest person alive it's all i ask

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

if the nsa or god or any of the milquetoast billionaire super villains is spying on my computer right now and sees what a shocking, like, really absolutely pathological number of screenshots i just, took i hope they understand that actually i was right to do it

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

6 years

there were about three things i was certain of in this world and one was that i was never going to even entertain getting into supernatural so now i guess there’s two

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tess mcgeer

@tessmcgeer

5 years

i love CINEMA