A story about midlife career change.
On my 40th birthday, I told my wife, Emily, "If I were 10 years younger, I think I'd go to law school."
I'd said that a few times, mostly as a regret—a possibility that had passed.
🧵
Her response: "You'll never be 10 years younger, but God willing, you'll be 10 years older. What are you going to do?" I was lamenting missed opportunities; she refused to let me off so easily.
First, several older people said some version of, "Let me tell you what I did when I was [insert age 35 to 55]." I was shocked by how many people had taken a significant new direction in life at those ages.
The next week, I asked Emily if we'd even *think* about moving if I applied to
@YaleLawSch
and got in. Without hesitation, she looked me in the eye and said, "If you get into Yale, we go."
Eight months later, we moved our family to Connecticut.
A postscript: How are the kids? They e adjusted well. I couldn’t be prouder of them. They’ve said they’d like to stay in North Haven until they graduate high school. Emily and I have committed that we won’t move again until everyone living in our house is open to it.
I share that because I don't want to sweep aside how hard this can be, especially for everyone else who's affected—those who aren't doing something new and exciting by their own choice.
The move was tough. Our kids were entering 9th, 7th, 7th, and 5th grades. They have 4 grandparents, 10 aunts and uncles, and 16 first cousins all in Kentucky. They spent the first six months angry, the next six months sad.
Emily handled most of their school transitions (no small task) and did a lot to coach them through the change (a bigger task), all while transitioning into a new job herself.
The next day, I began researching the law school application process. The natural assumption: if I did it, I'd attend school locally, we'd tighten our budget, and the rest of life would stay mostly the same.
All described how hard it was—hard to make the decision, hard to start over, hard on the people around them. But they also described how good it had been.
2 — Humility. It's tough to be at the same stage as people 20 years younger than you and to be many steps behind most people your age. This can be a humbling process.
Second, several people around my age asked if I could talk. Inevitably, those talks were because they were wondering if they could make a career change at that point in life, too. They had wanted to consider it but worried it was too late.
1 – An amazing support system. If you have a family, change will likely be harder on them than you. Many spouses wouldn't support this kind of change—and often with good reason. I don't know if it can happen without that.
3 — Faith. This process brings new challenges about identity. My faith and church community have been more important than ever. They remind me who I am.
A lot of people responded to this post. It was SO good to see:
1 - All the stories from others who'd made major career changes at age 35+. So many proud stories from people who made a big change and pulled it off.
2 - All the people celebrating Emily and the kids.
Thank you!
A story about midlife career change.
On my 40th birthday, I told my wife, Emily, "If I were 10 years younger, I think I'd go to law school."
I'd said that a few times, mostly as a regret—a possibility that had passed.
🧵
@NaithanJones
A few things:
- Equity in our home in Kentucky that we used to buy a house when we moved.
- My wife continued working in CT, so we had her income.
- YLS’s financial aid plan is unparalleled—especially for people in my situation. They provide a stipend that accounts for kids.
Next: I'll work for two judges consecutively over the next two years. Both keep their chambers in KY but have graciously allowed me to work mostly remote from CT. I'll travel back to KY on occasion.
After that: I'd ultimately love to work in public service, maybe academia.
Full circle.
Advisory Opinions was the first legal podcast I listened to. Their nerdy love of the law probably influenced my decision to go to law school.
Funding?
YLS's financial aid is unparalleled, at least for people in my situation. I receive a stipend that accounts for kids. I also used student loans for some tuition. For low earners, YLS pays back the loans. For high earners, YLS (rightly) expects you to repay them yourself
Pastors blatantly aligning themselves with right-wing politics hasn't been a good look for the church.
I don't expect pastors blatantly aligning themselves with left-wing politics (a growing trend from my vantage point) to be any better a look for us.
Answers to common questions...
Why Yale? Mainly because of the learning experience, the doors it opens, and financial aid. Though many schools offer good versions of these, what YLS offered was on a different plane. We thought of it like moving for an exceptional job opportunity
@NaithanJones
I also took on debt for some tuition. YLS has a very generous loan repayment program. For alumni who don’t have high earnings, they’ll pay back some/all of your loans. If you earn a lot, they (rightly) expect you to pay it back.
I came in without other school debt, which helped.
@NaithanJones
Regarding relationships: I had no Yale connections. I had some very good recommenders from my seminary work, which I imagine helped. They didn’t have Yale connections, either, but I think they wrote very strong letters for me.
A short thread about a part of the Trump immunity case that's being misunderstood...
Many are concerned the Supreme Court just gave the President nearly unfettered power.
According to Justice Sotomayor, “the President is now a king above the law.”
Should we be afraid?
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Quote of the day to
@utsdoc
: "The problem is that we lack not only a common vision for the church, but a common vision of the church[...] It’s not just that we disagree over what the church should do. Rather, we disagree over what it means to be a church."
@UMNS
@StopAntisemites
Goodness. He was serving on the Cabinet less than a year ago.
This is an obvious chargeable offense. "¶ 2702. 1. A . . . clergy member of an annual conference . . . may be tried when charged with . . . (j) harassment, including, but not limited to racial . . . harassment."
On vacation, I nearly always end up at an Anglican / Episcopal church for worship.
Would prefer to go to a
#UMC
church but have a hard time finding one that will serve communion.
@GS13029196
@NaithanJones
Yes - test scores and GPA are still key metrics. If you search them, you can find the medians and 25th & 75th percentile ranges for schools.
CBS showed Taylor Swift at the Super Bowl 12 times for a total of 53 seconds.
If that ruined the Super Bowl for you ... that's a bit strange.
If you watched the Super Bowl for that ... also a bit strange.
In times of heightened tensions (i.e. all the time now??), cynicism and contempt widen divisions.
It would be great to avoid both open and veiled contempt.
Here's an attempt to identify both -- hopefully so we can avoid them ourselves, and not promote them in others.
#UMC
#USA
I have a (perhaps minor) objection to the exegesis used to establish this plan’s foundations.
I have a major objection to what the plan actually accomplishes.
#UMC
I'm assessing the theological foundations of the
#UMC
Way Forward plans and whether the plans accomplish what they set out to do.
The One Church Plan's focus: Eradicating Suffering
The One Church Plan claims it does not divide us into camps.
But its theological foundations have already broken us into two camps: those causing suffering and those alleviating it; the Oppressors and the Liberators.
#ICYMI
#UMC
It's not uncommon for a church to receive a dozen calls like this in a day. That's without being added to a list of those known to provide this kind of support.
It would be great if churches could routinely do this, but the asks can be overwhelming and sometimes exploitative.
I called 13+ churches in my area asking if they could help a family whose water was about to get shut off and they all said some version of, "No, we don't do that." They acted Like I was weird for asking.
For anyone who thinks we surely have enough churches already, this shows why we need more churches.
In case you missed this earlier edition of my series on church resources.
HOW should we plant churches?
Several studies have confirmed the same 2 starting components of most successful church plants. We should try doing it this way more.
@read_cook
Thank you! I’ll be clerking for two judges consecutively over the next two years. Both keep their chambers in Kentucky, but they’re both graciously allowing me to work most of the clerkship remote from Connecticut, with occasional trips back to Kentucky.
This morning in the Ray household:
Learning about the 5 languages of apology as we write notes of apology to a cousin who we didn't respect last night.
#homeschoolsummer
This post marks something we need more of generally, and especially in the world of tweeting pastors and theologians.
It advocates for criticism without contempt.
Point out what's wrong with a particular view or practice. But do it without pejorative language or tone.
I've been increasingly frustrated watching pastors' feeds for the last year. Many seem fixated on one of these, with scarce attention to the other.
(They're also regularly outraged by people from 1 political party, but not the other.)
Robert's balanced focus has been refreshing
The thing about Jesus is He always confronts where we need confronting. I think He would say to gospel justice guy “I actually came to forgive your sins” and I think He would say to gospel evangelism guy “I actually came to fix the world”
@RitterChris
Yep.
Personally, I think it's more important to establish gracious exit at 2019 than anything else.
We already have irreconcilable differences. Want to ensure it will be nasty? Say that one partner gets all the assets if the other should dare leave the unhealthy relationship.
Tell me the number of UMC churches in your county, and I can tell you with decent accuracy what percentage of the county you’re reaching.
Tell me the average size of UMC churches in your county, and I can tell you… nothing.
#NCD
#kac2018
#UMC
@abinayasuri
Thank you! I've tended to get most of the glory while they made most of the sacrifices. I wanted to celebrate them. I'm glad people have responded with such a hearty celebration of them!
Serious answer: The right-wing fight for guns and closed borders seems incongruent with the gospel. Maybe some could justify them for other reasons, but they're certainly not CHRISTIAN positions.
So left-wing politics on gun control and welcoming immigrants seems a better look.
Kevin Watson is spot on pretty much all of the time.
An addition to this - my favorite quote from Wesley: "Unity and holiness are the two things I want among Methodists."
Wesley never separated these. We can have one only to the degree that we have the other.
I had a similar experience.
@YaleLawSch
financial aid was incredibly generous compared to others. Especially when coupled with its debt repayment program. But I also left with significant debt. Both can be true.
This is an attempted gotcha from someone ignorant of the system.
Sen. J.D. Vance just talked about leaving Yale Law School with $120,000 in debt.
In “Hillbilly Elegy,” this is what he wrote about his financial aid package:
@ULoving4
Thanks! The YLS choice was mainly about the learning experience, the doors it opens, and financial aid. Though many schools offer good versions of these, what YLS offered for me was on a different plane. I thought of it like someone choosing to move for a great job opportunity.
The Court:
“When the President acts pursuant to constitutional and statutory authority, he takes official action to perform the functions of his office. Determining whether an action is covered by immunity thus begins with assessing the President’s authority to take that action.”
Most of the alarmist hypos are confusing a grant of immunity for a grant of authority.
Get those categories straight and nearly all of the alarmist hypos fail.
The President doesn't have the authority to carry out the basic actions they propose, so he also doesn't get immunity.
This has circulated quite a bit in
#UMC
world. But
#ICYMI
The One Church Plan has been marketed as a plan that respects diverse theological opinions. However, its theological foundations name who's right (the Liberators) and who's wrong (the Oppressors).
@KySportsRadio
Totally disagree with this. For all the people upset about conservative play-calling, you're going to criticize for going for punt block??
Holy Moly.
He comes out of the gates strong with "Jesus isn't God."
Then qualifies that to say he believes "Jesus was divine (in the way that you and I are)"
"The astonishing truth is this: the most important symbol of Christ in the room is not the minister, not the altar, not even the bread and wine or the water of the font. It is the assembly, the BODY OF CHRIST, as the New Testament says."
-Gordon Lathrop in THE PASTOR