i dont mind bg3 recycling npc faces because im not insane andi dont expect them to make a unique face for every insignificant nobody but when i talk to a guy that has MY characters face its like Okreally.
one thing i love that bg3 did is make tieflings look hellish as shit cause when i went to see the dnd movie and that white girl with the tiny ass horns was supposed to be a tiefling i sighed so loud
you should be able to sleep with karlach before fixing her engine but its like 20 constitution saving throws in a row and if you fail any of them you die
ketheric is the best boss out of the 3 and its not even close. he gets that raw as fuck intro and multiple phases and then for orin and gortash you just show up in their house and hit them with a brick
i actually hate how wyll doesnt have any unique greetings if youve romanced him. do not say “well met” to me ive seen your naked sweaty glistening tatas in the moonlight
astarion discussions: astarion must have been so scared and alone in the mind flayer pod, trapped and helpless
:(
karlach discussions: do you think its pierced
secondhand embarrassment a little bit when people think they actually killed the god myrkul in ketherics boss fight. brother you killed myrkuls vrchat avatar
“wyllstarion where wyll makes astarion feel good about himself awww” how about wyllstarion where astarion goves wyll the confidence to tell his dad to kill himself
i think the funniest complaint ive seen about bg3 was a guy mad bc nearly all the men companions are casters and all the women were strong and people were telling him “you can reclass them with withers” and he was just like “no” ???😭
the most fun part of starting a new run is deciding whos going to be the sacrificial lamb for the giant forge hammer during the grym boss fightim just kidding its always astarion
do anyone else not let volo lobotomize your character just cause you dont want the ugly effect on their eyeball. i want both my beautiful princess’ eyes to glow and sparkle i wont let that little bard in pantaloons take thatfrom me
do you think gortash wouldve done sanitized corporate allyship for pride month. like putting rainbow pins on steel watchers before sending them off to brutalize minorities
sure gale was in the wrong for pursuing dangerous forbidden netherese weave whatever but why is 75% of his story about how he wronged mystra and how he needs mystras forgiveness. she groomed him idgaf about her damn netherese pissy fit 😭
“i cant believe gale proposes after knowing you a month” if the ball of potent volatile potentially catastrophic netherese magic embedded in his chest is not a testament to how he has poor decision making skills then idk what is
sceleritas fel: its giving slayer core, milord. you ate that ritualistic infantile sacrifice up milord. mothered so hard you caused a cuntquake in the cuntacombs
dark urge: can you stop talking like that i don’t like that
orpheus pisses me off “you shouldve let me honor guard kill you and they wouldve freed me and we wouldve beat the brain” oh yeah? what would they have freed you with? their stupid fucking ki punches? dumb cunt
you know wyllstarion is real love cause spooning astarion has to feel like cuddling a bag of frozen chicken nuggets and wyll does it religiously anywau
durge bard is a great concept but i fear that the orin 1v1 would be over in 2 seconds. thats like sending a pitbull pumped full of steroids upon a little fat baby with a lute
we at larian studios heard your asks to add more wyll content so we’ve finally removed wyll from the game completely and replaced him with another astarion
i love how durge will comment “smells like something died in here 🤢” like brother you used to bathe in corpse blood i dont want to hear it. suddenly this is a problem after years funking up baldurs gate? you lived in the sewers
play the game however you want yadda yadda but if you mod in a perfect doll face for a githyanki i think youre weak. be the critter gith women are meant to me
i avoid talking to wyll at all in runs where im not romancing him just because if i get his dance scene im too fucking weak to say no to him. physicallycannot reject him its like kicking a puppy it makes me wantto die seriously
i get so saad thinking about all the squandered potential with act 3 all that buildup for you to just show up in the villains’ houses and throw quarters at the soft spot on their head as hard as you can until they die
my favorite durge thing is how they tried to strangle kressa with their own intestines while actively being vivisected what the hell is wrong with them
an account with 72 followers will be like “i dont really like [character]” and then an account with 5.4k will be like “theres been a lot of [character] hate so heres some pictures of himfor positivity 🥹✨💕 “ and then next day theres ppl like “im sick of [character] discourse”
one of my favorite durge things is how most of the time your companions do not take your shit seriously. you can be like “bow before the chosen of bhaal” and theyre like “it would be funny if you died right now”
every time i make a minthara carpet muncher tweet i lose followers but then i get notifs from people like this and know im assembling the right audience
astarion fans shouldnt be able to tell wyll fans what they can or cant ask of larian you have mommys favorite white baby in your profile picture this isnt your fight to fight
idk whats funnier between bhaal hitting the randomize button or personally crafting his sire by hand like using a picrew. like going “yeah whatever” and then getting a gnome by sheer chance and bhaal making a gnome on purpose as his heir is equally hilarious
@skarsghardy
the game kinda makes it seem like you can only choose one not helped by the fact when you go to enter the mountain pass you get that “make sure to tie up any loose ends” message. which is a shame yall are sleeping on the creche fr
ifucking hate how needlessly antagonistic all the dialogue options are when talking to wyll hes like “sorry i cant tell you about my patron” and your options are
1. yeah i bet you cant. fucking loser
2. stabbing you im stabbing you with weapons and knives im stabbing
i love how bg3 fanbase will argue about literally fucking anything like mod vs no mods and sexuality debates but when it comes to the topic of astarion having ibs everyone comes together
were they really so lazy that they couldnt move halsin or mintharas tent somewhere else instead of putting them together. shes for sure got his ass playing fnaf every fucking night
its extremely annoying they moved the wyrmway to its own side quest and not part of wylls but didnt replace or add anything to wylls quest so they actually just. Took Away content for him i feel like im going fucking crazy
went to fuck lae’zel but got his stupid fucking vampire chuckle suckle fuck nut scene instead so he’s been put in the pink jesterfag outfit of shame until further notice
you say mintharas a lesbian and 30 people you dont know come out of the woodworks to tell you youre erasing bi rep or “um actually minthy loves my boy character and sucks his peenor hard” like i dontreally care
So... *apparently* the infamous Gortash to Franc letters have been replaced (?)
Oh I meant MR. PEARTREE.
(seen it from several sources and they do look legit?)
New letters:
(old letters in the next comment)
broke wyllstarion: oh astarion my beautiful snowbunny queen i, wyll ravengard, will never force sex upon you
woke wyllstarion: wyll have you ever considered trying to find the soft spot on your dads head so u can press it and kill him?
people always praise the game’s inclusivity bc of the romances but tbh the most inclusive thing to me is that i can make a masculine hulking mass of muscle with a deep rumbling voice and then slap she/her on it
somepeople are so high on the idea of astarions poordamaged soul being mended by a guy that is nice that they forget wyll has other things going on besides being nice and reduce him to a prop that serves no purpose besides giving astarion uplifting comments and a dicking down
when i call a bg3 companion a lesbian why do people try to epic own me by showing their male tav with the character “lae’zel is actually super happy with my male tav” her eyes are screaming at me for help