Hi
@BorisJohnson
. You don't know me, I do/run comedy shows. Your 'wait and see' approach is not a 'mid-way compromise'; it's literally the worst outcome. You currently have the medical modelling and the economic forecasting, to know the range of upshots - so make a decision. 1/2
James Timpson OBE
@JamesTCobbler
has been appointed Minister of State (Minister for Prisons, Parole and Probation) in the Ministry of Justice
@MoJGovUK
.
Either tell us when lockdown / restrictions will be - so we know to go ahead or not - or tell us that you definitely won't, or the date you'll reassess. While you don't do either, we have to commit to a plan where everything stays open, and nobody buys tickets. We're dying. 2/2
I notice it gets called the Astra Zeneca vaccine when they're not sure about it and the Oxford University one when it's smashing it out of the park. This vaccine is very much the "Andy Murray is Scottish/British" of epidemiology
@ShelbyTree
Wow. Why aren’t they taking it seriously? In a nutshell:
“This is outrageous behaviour - what are you going to do?”
“Here’s £5”
“Sorry, do you not understand? He has totally crossed the line and the intrusion is utterly unacceptable”
“Ok ok.... £10”.
😯
Brighton the highest place Premier League team (6th) to have no players in the
#englandsquad
.
If Lewis Dunk played in any of the other top 8, his place on the plane would just be a given.
#BHAFC
@mare49
@realDonaldTrump
On a more serious note, it's scary to think after 3 hours the only problem he had with the content of that tweet was a minor spelling error.
It’s an overdone thing to be ‘proud’ of your football team but mine just launched their new shirt by modelling it with players from their men’s, women’s, deaf, amuputee, powerchair, and cerebral palsy teams. Well played
#bhafc
👏🏻
@GeoffNorcott
"Daddy I’m having fun!”
“No you aren’t. You’re mistaking familiarity for fun. You’re deeply unsatisfied with this hollow poor quality tripe. Now, repeat after me: BOOOO…”
Bit of Monday feels for you all.
For the first time in his life Xander can hear perfectly (at full volume). We had to wind the window down for the journey home as he could hear birdsong 🥰
He also now has no excuse when I tell him to put his shoes on for the 85381655017th time
@mike_jenner
@andy_murray
I'm not sure even that's true. Read his columns on the BBC Sport website and watch his SPOTY interviews, and checkout his Outnumbered cameo. You've been duped by his voice. He's v. funny.
Anyone got any Netflix movie recommendations? Needs to be about 2-3 hours. Just started rinsing out a jar of peanut butter for the recycling so can’t go out until about midday
A 94yo planning a party in 2022 during a pandemic that almost exclusively kills pensioners is the kind of optimism this country has been crying out for
4000 gigs, 500 pro comics, 23 years. 13 awards and over a million audience members later, the Brighton Krater club is over. For all of you who came, either watch it, play it, or work there, thank you.
The best thing about the news that a cat has Covid is how all the news organisations are having to use library pictures of cats looking mournful and not cute.
BBC Services would have been responsible for using funds from the license fee to pay your invoice for appearing on Question Time. The show your profile pic is from.
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@realDonaldTrump
@richardosman
They would wait until the UPS started sounding alarms that the whole baggage system was about to go down and use that as their cue to plug it back in again. Every day Heathrow was approx 45 seconds from complete system failure.
So Harry has said that William ‘pushed him over’ in an argument. They are brothers ffs. Come back to us when one of you tried to put a firework up the other’s arse while asleep.