spike @spikeeinbinder Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@ORTH201085

@DanielJCamacho

@mosaaaaann

@bokeplokalmalam

@stw_pdg

@jan_mainka

@pemuasnene

@AmieGessic71661

@pasa3606

@TheScottFuller

@TeamSusyPancho

@panzerkitten212

@bokeplokalmalam

@BoondockSa1nt

@stw46

@Abenk12356649

@dog_person20

@Hirospa

@PhilippaSo74484

@D_raxkzz

@cukienaknikmati

@junzuss

@VaderTime88

@JomarieSho52443

@linus_junior

@bombogoon

@RachnaTiff55191

@stw_pdg

@JacobaKawa82476

@AlNvnv2

@stwmaniax

@Frontex

@kkpapua1

@stw46

@bokeplokalmalam

@DiscretoRJ_

spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

gonna stop telling ppl im autistic, it just alienates me more! now ill say “im overwhelmed & leaving this party where everyone is drunk, it smells like febreeze + cat litter... because im a Virgo” theyd be like “YESSS EARTH SIGN!!! Go Home and alphabetize something, Queen🥰!”

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 months

i dont know why this doesnt have a million views

Minga

@KillaMinga

2 months

what's the funniest tiktok video you've ever seen?

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

i got exposed to covid in my dream last night :( if you were in my dream last night get tested

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

i need a weighted blanket that will kill me

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

1 year

just once i would like to Stun in New Photos

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

they yassified staten island on the map. cartological buccal fat removal

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

6 years

@aedison because of your previous owner not managing your eye condition no matter what i do to help your eyes you will inevitably lose your sight, but you will never lose me and i’ll help you every step of the way forever because i love you

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

why do i come on this site my timeline is just normalize eating beans before noon normalize eating beans before noon normalize eating beans before noon and then a tweet like: yr all for “beans before noon” even tho its anglocentric but y’all arent ready for that conversation 🙄

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

6 years

i want that big cow to sit on me until im dead

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

today i got to use a catcall retort i've been waiting to whip out since march. a person catcalled me (at 8:30am) asking "SMILE FOR ME" (i was wearing a mask) i turned to the person & said "thou shall not see my face, for no man may see me and live" [exodus 33:20]

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 months

we protect each other 💗 we love each other🫡 y’all masking?

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

6 years

its 4am and im awake wondering if any boston native queer person has ever come out to their parents as “gendahqueeah”

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

@ihatejoelkim gf masked + bf unmasked is a sadder window into life than baby shoes for sale never worn imo!!

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

i have never seen an episode of Sex In The City and from how you all tweet about the new season it has... 400 episodes and is on 6 nights a week

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

6 years

@mattslusser @aedison this is my guy spiderman, he has KCS(dry eye) and doesnt produce any tears. hi brownie ❤️🐾

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

i saw this and was like what restaurant serves “wave cunt”?

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 months

“we can push her left” you cant even push the buttons on your telephone to call and order pizza because you have “phone anxiety”

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

the original “annoying queer with blue hair”... the literal Blueprint. i owe they/them so much 💙

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

5 months

Fox Fisher

@theFoxFisher

5 months

Trans people! Looking back on your childhood, were there any glaringly obvious clues you were not the gender you were assumed at birth?

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

this pic makes me think of the tampon insertion illustration from this series which was my first brush with body horror as a genre

maybe: clare

@clur19

3 years

If she doesn’t recognize this picture she’s too young for you

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

“i will go down with this ship, and i wont put my hands up and surrender” 🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

me: god i fucking HATE gender norms, i am so sick of being misgendered every GOD damn day and WHY cant people just get that theres more than TWO genders!! also me: i have a BOY puppy And a GIRL puppy!!!!! the girl puppy wears PINK :))

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

fun fact: The Wendys mascot is based off of 6,000 year old jewish nonbinary trans man Spike Einbinder

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

@honeypluton is this sun screen

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

if i make it to march 16th 2021 without getting covid/dying from it that will mark 1 year of no subway, bus, no car service & no state lines crossed. bike only for 365 days. if i make it i'll give myself a lil present of riding to riis beach at dawn and peeing in the ocean

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

this is overwhelming me 😅 glad other autistic ppl are finding this tweet and feeling seen! also i have muted this because im.... “a virgo” :)

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

7 years

i care so little about music made by cis men that i thought Bon Iver was the name of one dude. theres like 4 of them in there. its like transformers but they all have names like "justin" and "andrew" and form a giant flannel shirt when assembled

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

2022 trend forecast ⚡️ OUT: being insincere IN: seeing everyone you encounter through god’s eyes whilst knowing ye both are mere mortals

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

when you have beef with a vegan? ugh, that shits Impossible”- should i tweet

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

can you only wreak havoc? i wanna wreak some new stuff. i want to wreak peace. in a terrifying way 😇 like how angels are unable to be viewed straight on

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

getting testosterone injected into my ass by a hot man and then gonna pickle some quail eggs and walk a pit bull… typical male activities

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

@GMPaiella thats Posey and Ralph! @hibikitikibi and i are their dog walkers :)

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

6 months

goodnight my queen, RIP SHERITA - a guiding light and protector of all freaks who walk brooklyn/earth. proud to have given you a 1 time drag performance tribute w an insane backstory where you were the scorned lover of Mr. Met and took revenge on him with a baseball bat

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

flashing back to 2017 at a gay bar in new orleans, lady gaga just released “The Cure” & two blasted drunk men coming up to me ACCUSING me of being Lady Gaga, refusing to take no for an answer, taking a picture with me even when i protested that i was not her then paying me $10

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

i just realized one day the wordle could be me

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

i DARE you to use he/him pronouns in addition to they/them for me. i fucking dare you

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

for some of you today is Sunday but for me today is the day i get my Revenge

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

wanna feel old? this is m3gan now

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

*tips rainbow newsie hat* M’lxdy

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

i am trans, its 2020, i am watching the matrix for the first time

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

[BREAKING] Lady Gaga’s dogs returned safely by “uninvolved and unassociated woman” pictured below

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

left: other bitches (boring, straight hair, unattainable levels of beauty championed by society) right: me (perpetually screaming, gaping maw, looking like i crawled out of the ear of a greek god)

Erik Anderson

@awards_watch

3 years

Emma Stone at the premiere of Cruella (2021) and Glenn Close at the premiere of 101 Dalmatians (1996)

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

ok all im gonna say about rescuing older dogs is:

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

why does every used car look like the "three previous owners" were these guys

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

people are like “isnt it amazing that our pets dont know what war is or whats going on in the world ☺️❤️” like r u kidding me our dogs can SMELL our blood pressure changes and sweat on a molecular level they know what the fuck is up

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

7 months

when someone bookmarks my tweet its like they are putting my tweet underneath their mattress like a porno magazine

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

5 years

on sunday SpongeBob will turn 33, the same age Jesus Christ was at the time of his death before resurrection... makes you think

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

6 months

i am not an alt comic. i am the blueprint, i am a classic comedian: a weird looking jewish guy who’s wife hates him

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

this little garlic guy really put his whole pussy into this spread

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

1 year

i hate being told to “Meet” a new product in an advertisement. “Meet Dyson Airblade” why? so he can break my fucking heart like all the rest??

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

The Green M&Ms Mother has a message for her Daughter (The Green M&M)

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

@SarahSquirm they owe u big time

ELLE Magazine (US)

@ELLEmagazine

2 years

Clowncore Is the Trend of the Season

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

everyone reply to this thread with your favorite cup/glass/mug of yours mine is a 2 cup pyrex measuring pitcher w handle

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

im proud to be ugly in an “unfixable” way. im proud of my god given bustedness it makes me so much more hot than those who society deems conventionally attractive. i am an angel in disguise and only those pure-of-heart can look upon my radiant beauty directly

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

im annoyed i thought finally! all my friends are getting into knives and weaponry with all this “shiv” talk... turns out its some redhead on TV with a big ass... i see that in the mirror every day, can we please talk about the blade? i’ve been studying it unlike some of you!

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

i wanted to re-name myself when i was 4, to be called "spike". parents did not allow it.came up with a 2nd "femme" option i thought they'd accept: "crystal". also rejected. now i ask myself daily: where do i fall on the spike/crystal spectrum? usually between "machine" and "dirt"

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

I love walking around early in the morning in New York on the weekends, you always find the best discarded drugs on the ground! I’m gonna pop this button and get sew high

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

7 months

oh Girl… where do you think you’re goin…

The Associated Press

@AP

7 months

Crafts retailer Joann files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

when i wakeup and lie in bed envisioning myself doing the days tasks ahead of me i am this little papillon in my brain

T R E Y ⚡️ 3 K

@iAmTrey3K

4 years

now this lil mf was MOVING! 😂😂

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

REALLY want people to reply to this tweet with their fav smells. 3 scents that naturally occur (mine rn are top of my dogs head, rosemary sprig, partners B.O.) and 3 bottled/product-type scents. have this to me by the end of day THANKS

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

Bekah Berger

@BekahBerger

3 years

Going by a poster you had in your room as a teen…who would you be in a relationship with rn? Expect many a JTT + @DevonESawa response.

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

Prue & Noel slash fic: they get baked, stuff gets pretty hot and spicy, which means prue has to stop immediately #GBBO

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

gonna start referring to myself as “Uncut” because i haven’t gotten top surgery yet

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

im a gold star nonbinary person. ive only ever hooked up with other people 😎

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

Deadnamed! at the Gyno

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

6 months

i would RUN past this motherfucker he scared me so bad

Michael Varrati

@MichaelVarrati

6 months

If you grew up during the 80s or 90s and didn't have at least one video box cover that scared the bejeezus out of you every time you passed it at the rental store, I admire your strength.

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

test batch of hamantaschen last night looked more hamantussy than i had hoped for 😅 oh well its purim! i hate the fuckin guy whos hat this is supposed to be

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

^_^

A24

@A24

2 years

A little white lie never hurt anybody. Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Tobias Menzies star in Nicole Holofcener’s laugh-out-loud new comedy, YOU HURT MY FEELINGS. Only in theaters May 26.

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

The Queen and Justin Bieber having covid at the same time is like really suspicious to me… i think they are hooking up

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

once waiting late for the b46 bus i played Prince out loud like a protective sheild the bus pulled up empty except for the driver and he was down, he said turn it up i rode in front gripping the yellow bar we sung “The Beautiful Ones” together loud just us on the bus #Prince4Ever

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

7 years

do you ever feel like a plastic bag wouldnt be enough to ensure that you asphyxiate when you try to kill yourself

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

having blonde body hair means that you cant tell how much HRT has increased my body hair til im at the gay beach mostly naked sparkling in the sun glittering because of how my body hair reflects light but by then its too late, it doesnt matter if you see, im going in the water

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

"she says that she's trans which is why she's crying right now" - every nurse practitioner to the gynecologist who i am also in the same room as and can hear and see as i am on the examining chair

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

5 years

im a gay boything i kinda look like a bad messed up girl. gods mistake. im a mirage of a deer that leads weary travelers off a cliff. baba yaga’s spawn. im Pan, and im also “pan”. nothing about me is straight, not even my spine (its deformed) happy #pride from my holes 2 urs

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

my pussy cured itself of HPV… kinda makes my brain look like a little bitch for still being mentally ill

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

✡️ i am coming out as Angelic today. I have been an Angel my whole life, the people often see me and say you don’t look like an Angel but I am. we look like this sometimes. still a Demon too, more on that later - all will be revealed in time 🖤

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

ah, sorry i’ve been so MIA lately. i fly like paper get high like planes and its really taking a toll on my communication and ability to be present :/

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

age gap friendship, a duck, two kids in 2nd grade, 3 bats and a lamb

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

told one of my Neighborhood Friends (ppl who live on my dog route zone that i pass by and greet daily) that i am nonbinary after he accussed me of fake numbering him when he texted me “hey miss lady” and i didnt reply. said it was an in person convo not for txt. he understood

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

what they don’t tell you about weight/fat redistribution when taking testosterone is that it ALL goes to your pussy. now i gotta lug this 6 kilogram thing around? genital preference? yeah i’d prefer my genitals didn’t throw off my center of gravity! no respect, no respect at all!

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

1 year

WeEEEEeeeeeeEee

A24

@A24

1 year

The American dream takes on a whole new shape. From the visionary mind of Julio Torres comes PROBLEMISTA, a hilarious and heartfelt comedy about dreaming big and making it in NYC. Starring Julio, Tilda Swinton, RZA, Greta Lee, and narrated by Isabella Rossellini. Coming Soon!

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

12/26, 12/27, 12/28, 12/29, 12/30, 12/31, 1/1, 1/2 : the most gross days of the gregorian calendar where everything feels like yr slogging through ankle deep rotten honey. a slow motion 1919 boston molasses flood of the mind. there is no cure, there is only february

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

1 year

i would like to get a 3rd job and have it be the guy who crushes up the eyeshadow and chops up lipstick for magazine and online photoshoots

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

this is a bonnie aarons stan account!

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

nothing anyone can say to me will hurt me now because i was this kid growing up. i have gone through the pain already and forged by this fire i have become invincible.

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

heavy menstrual bleeding on T shot day? thats what i call a Mountain Dew Code Red

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

its fucked up they used me as the reference for this statue and copied my face + hair but purposely omitted my genitals (thick, pendulous millipede-like clitoris, steel wool pubic hair surrounding it like a fortress, if you put your ear to my nether-chasm you can hear screams) 🙄

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

@honeypluton with the pebble ice 😈

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

posting h*le on main shirt by @bait_kush

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

@annadrezen mine was free cuz i was a minor!! thank u state of CA and planned parenthood!!!!!!!

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

i use these test to treat sites SO often to get PCRs when ive been exposed or when im visiting someone immune comp or for just fucking peace of mind that i (immune compromised as well) am not infected. everyone is abandoning us

Reina Sultan 🇱🇧

@SultanReina

2 years

The mobile test to treat site told me that the city is cutting funding for all the mobile units and the last day will be this Friday March 10th. We’ve got billions to pay cops to harass residents but can’t even provide free tests to protect them? @nycHealthy @NYCHealthCommr

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

i was born cursed with a face that appears beautiful to the pure of heart & witch-like and ugly to those whom have wicked souls... sorry if you just found out who you are based on this tweet 😇😈 they shouldn’t have kicked me out of heaven* all those years ago 😂 *isaiah 14:12

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

why is "puppy" the best sounding word in the english language and "pupper" feels as gross on the ear as using ones fingernails as a bottle opener

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

posting it here cuz the world will never see it otherwise 🙄 my self taped House Of Gucci audition for the role of Patrizia Reggiani, obviously i didnt get it. im really annoyed and dont understand what i did wrong. anyway, enjoy the movie when it comes out i guess. im not in it

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

2 years

did Liza for the first time ever last night 😇😈 thats show biz baby 🎭

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

this wild dude sniffed in a pile of leaves dragged this decrepit bouquet out and dropped it at my feet... then i took him to a street lamp lined street and gave him freeze dried lamb morsels. we are platonic friends! normalize treating your friends this way!!

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

1 year

the most hot and beautiful ppl in this world have gap teeth chipped teeth or both this is a fact

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

3 years

got my hardware reinstalled. piercer said “ur sweet spot‘s too high + tight to pierce anew” so, he slid the ring in a long vacant botched (cartilage) hole from My First Time. he said my nose was unlike any he’d ever seen, and it made him “nervous”. im even more powerful now 😈😇

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

4 years

recalling a very alienating experience: on a friends roof in a group, i heard a high pitch tone so loud it was painfully flossing my head. nobody else heard it, they said. looked down in the backyard: it was an anti-vermin device going off @ 20min intervals. me& rats vs the world

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spike

@spikeeinbinder

7 months

no schnoz, no sauce. its very simple

db 🖤

@dbcxptures

7 months

I don’t know how else to describe it, but they managed to white wash a white woman.

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