kyle oh gee @smallestkyle Twitter profile | Pikagi

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kyle oh gee

@smallestkyle

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656

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25 | tomfoolery enjoyer | jellyfish lover | 🧛🏼banner by @cornonthmacabre

he/they 🪼

https://t.co/dPcENVtBzi

Joined April 2016

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

7 months

In order to cope with my anxiety, I’ve started pretending a Medieval peasant boy named Gregor has been isekai’d into my body. I spilled coffee on myself. This would normally ruin my day. Not Gregor’s. Gregor is just happy to go outside without rats gnawing at his ankles.

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

I lied. I don’t like sex. Put your clothes back on. I’m going to explain to you the underlying lore of Stardew Valley, including the war.

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

(Benoit Blanc voice) “It appeuhs that the Cullen family are only masqueRADing as your average adoptive family in the Pacific Northwest— but with Miss Swan at the centuh of every peculiuh happenstance in Forks— why, the entire family! Each and every one is a mythical bloodsuckuh!”

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

If you die in the Stardew Valley mines you die in real life

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Me, who had no intentions of going to Coachella anyways, seeing Hatsune Miku was removed from the lineup:

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

I wish I could play Stardew again for the first time, because nothing will beat me thinking it was a silly little farm game and then the country is at war, the general store owner’s wife had an affair with the local wizard, Abigail eats rocks—

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Relationships should be 50/50, I tell them my fun facts about jellyfish and they pretend that it is the first time I have ever told them those fun facts

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

the unhinged urge to tell everyone in the car “he was roxas in kingdom hearts” whenever jesse mcartney plays on the aux

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

You want me to submit a resumé? The thing that almost killed Bella in Breaking Dawn?

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

You play Stardew for the farming. I play Stardew because I need to put Sebastian in my mouth and gnaw on him like a chew toy. We are NOT the same.

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Twilight is unrealistic because in no universe would Bella look at the Cullens and choose anyone else but Alice

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

“Scum Villain is a comedy!” I just finished the yue qingyuan and shen jiu bonus story and no the fuck it isn’t!!!!!!!!

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Edward Cullen composing Bella’s Lullaby

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

7 months

If I’m unsure whether or not to have a sweet treat? Gregor has never experienced such luxuries. He has only had peas and stale bread. There are so many treats at his disposal now. It will be consumed!

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Everyone acts like fishing is the most evil mini game in Stardew, but we’re all forgetting the one true enemy: Junimo Kart.

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Concept: we go on a date to the aquarium. You’re having a great time and think I’m romantic, if a little quiet. I am trying to smuggle out the jellyfish by putting them in my mouth when security isn’t looking. We are permanently banned from the aquarium.

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

The perfect wall tapestry doesn’t exi—

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

I’m tired of being sexy I want to understand geometry

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

*makes a caption saying I’m nonbinary and am therefore not a woman* The comments: YES GIRL 😍😍😍 my nonbinary QUEEN, you’re killing it mama!! 🥰🥰🥰

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

1 year

The Volturi have arrived at the #MetGala

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

i lied. i don’t actually like sex. put your clothes back on im going to explain the entirety of the cullens’ backstories in twilight

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Shen Yuan writing another scathing review of Airplane’s latest chapter before going on youtube dot com to search “luo binghe angel with a shotgun nightcore amv”

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

6 months

I just wanted to go on a googling journey to find out why Broadway Mrs. Lovett’s casting changed over the years, because she used to be purposefully cast as older than Sweeney and now she’s manic pixie dream murderess age, only to find out that in the original penny dreadful

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

GUYS, BE PREPARED THIS VALENTINE’S DAY!!!!!!! Ladies don’t want chocolates or flowers! They ONLY want the cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, the hair as yellow as corn, and the slipper as pure as gold!!

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

I am foaming at the mouth and literally screaming in pain I need those mf jellyfish lamps or I shall perish

@fentyfairies

␌

3 years

antique tiffany lamp + jellyfish lighting

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

The perfect tattoo doesn’t exi—

@raspberryyswirl

that 1 white girl that dont play about fiona apple

@raspberryyswirl

3 years

Edward Was Here

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Something has been bothering me lately about Christmas music so I took matters into my own hands

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

This is how I think #kaeya birthday party went

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

9 months

My mom got me a wallet for my birthday and look who she put inside 😭😭😭

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

PLEASE GOD I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING

@DiscussingFilm

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

2 years

Rian Johnson and Daniel Craig on The Muppets appearing in the next ‘KNIVES OUT’ film — “That’s a really good idea.” (Source: @KnivesOut )

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kyle oh gee

3 years

Men 🤢 in 2008 clowning Bella Swan for being willing to risk it all for vampire dick as if they didn’t do the exact same fucking thing when Lady Dimitrescu dropped with re8. Weak.

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kyle oh gee

4 years

I was told to post this on twitter also I don’t know if I can wait until tomorrow I’m losing my MARBLES #CriticalRole @matthewmercer @Marisha_Ray

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kyle oh gee

2 years

Casual fem!shang qinghua bc @zoejoeyk said I should, and anything for you, bestie!! #svsss

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Do you think Alice Cullen could’ve predicted NFTs

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

final filming day for my friend Jude’s music video!!! stream Cult Classic by Jude Tanner for clear skin!!!

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Hi happy birthday to me I’m officially older than Carlisle Cullen was when he was turned into a vampire and he’s a father of five, so I can proudly say that I’ve finally entered my MILF era

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Why would u let Santa into your home…. Through a chimney?? That is basically venting…. Do not let the red imposter into ur house,,,,

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Just a reminder that Rosalie and Emmett canonically boinked so hard it destroyed their house

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

The gender re-entering my body so I can call myself a milf

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Death Note where everything is the same but L reaches out to an old friend of his for help with tracking down Kira. Enter Benoit Blanc.

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

My mom when we’re driving on the freeway: Hey, that’s a nice Volvo Me in the passenger seat, fighting the urge to share that Edward Cullen owns a Volvo:

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kyle oh gee

2 years

I couldn’t remember what the words “toxic trait” were so I kept referring to myself as having a fatal flaw like a greek hero with too much hubris 🧎🏻‍♂️

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Tired of being burdened with self awareness and the gift of free will. I want to have no more thoughts and eat worms instead 💙

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kyle oh gee

3 years

NFT actually stands for No FighTing (Shakira Shakira)

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

1 year

James trying to turn Bella into a caprisun in the ballet studio

@souleaterwill

soul eater will

1 year

schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Not to be rude but everyone look at me right this moment

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kyle oh gee

2 years

Changing the pronouns in my gmail signature from they/them to he/they felt so good I’m giggling and kicking my legs rn

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Sometimes in order to feel alive you have to cup your hands to catch the water in your shower and pretend to be a young elf maiden bathing under a waterfall in some ancient magical woods

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

10 months

Happy to be starting a new adventure as Sue Sy’lvest’r, with her guardian, Will Schuested

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kyle oh gee

1 year

What sucks about depression is that you can talk about it, get diagnosed, get medicine and have a solid support system in your life that loves you but you still can’t get out of bed in the morning and you still cry over nothing and you realize this is just your life forever

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

6 months

story, String of Pearls, the story centers JOHANNA!?? And she’s not Todd’s daughter, and she’s investigating her missing lover, and her dressing up as a boy isn’t to help her escape the asylum, it’s to get her into Todd’s place as an apprentice so she can investigate??

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kyle oh gee

1 year

If Glee was still running and Rachel got canceled, she 100% would have posted a ukulele apology video

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

This is the bear that Emmett Cullen has beef with

@nytimes

The New York Times

2 years

A black bear known as Hank the Tank has broken into more than two dozen California homes since July, officials say. Paintballs, bean bags, sirens and Tasers cannot keep the 500-pound animal from seeking leftover pizza and other food.

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kyle oh gee

3 years

Happy October 1st it is now Halloween!

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

I’m so upset look at the hat @JennyYokobori got me 🧎🏻‍♂️

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Trying to play dating sims without a guide is so humbling like I will try to be a nice person and then the game tells me my vibes were actually so rancid, my love interest killed me

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Hi

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

1 year

Those French bitches that died holding hands

@nocturneix

kae ♡

1 year

"ships that piss you off", "ships that fill you fill glee", NO lets talk about the ships that DEVASTATED you so badly you never emotionally recovered

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kyle oh gee

3 years

Kyle with the Xiangling hair, what will they do next?

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

7 months

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@GayAndEvil

D 🫀 N I E L

7 months

i am fucking SICK of that ugly little green cunt

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

1 year

Love rocking with the he/they pronouns but I want you to know that my status as an eldest daughter transcends gender. I’m APTAB, actually. Assigned parents’ therapist at birth.

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Ashamed to say that all villains who are irredeemable monsters get a pass in my book if they are a woman 💙 that’s not crime at that point that’s just a girlboss trying to build her empire

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

My therapist actually gave me some really eye opening advice and said that the best way to take control of my life and begin the healing process is to start saying whoopsie daisy whenever things go wrong

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Hey how r u hehehe

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kyle oh gee

2 years

The CDC now recommends being really really nice to me and leaving tangerine slices outside my door

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kyle oh gee

2 years

My mom started saying “good g—”, remembered at the last moment, and said “good Grog” instead. I’ve been “good Grog”’d three times in the past week now, it’s so funny

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kyle oh gee

3 years

You want me to be a girlboss? The thing that killed Lady Macbeth?

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Just found these old photos of my grandparents on their wedding day 💙 you can really see how in love they are here

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kyle oh gee

3 years

Soldier, Poet, King by The Oh Hellos but it keeps going to include increasingly more specific and niche fantasy tropes including Dragon Raised By Humans So They Believe They Are Also A Human

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

It truly is fascinating getting weird fat-shaming comments on instagram from faceless accounts with the intent of eliciting a reaction but unfortunately 1. I’m obsessed with myself and think I’m pretty neat 2. the way I look is the least interesting thing about me anyways

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kyle oh gee

3 years

If I were in a Greek tragedy my fatal flaw would be ass too fat and having immaculate vibes and also hubris

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kyle oh gee

1 year

Happy Father’s Day to Sophie and her three dads!

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kyle oh gee

2 years

This is the first ornament my parents bought for me when I was born and the sibling groupchat got a kick out of it

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Do you think Cogsworth and Lumiere ever explored each other’s bodies

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kyle oh gee

6 months

no rizz, just a people pleasing adult eldest daughter who doesn’t know where to put all of the anger inside of them

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kyle oh gee

6 months

Johanna….. the woman you are…..

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kyle oh gee

3 years

Omg that me

@katehalliwell

Kate Halliwell

3 years

the best person on tiktok right now is @smallestkyle who does The Feels (Twice) choreo set to an array of increasingly unhinged sounds. gonna thread a few personal favorites:

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kyle oh gee

2 years

Everyone look at the shirt I got today

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kyle oh gee

2 years

I sang “why do good girls love bad guys/I’ve had this question for a really long time” and I asked my brother if he knew that song and he said, “no Kyle, I support women.” and tbh I can’t really respond to that.

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kyle oh gee

3 years

What if we k*ssed in the Halloween aisle at Joann’s Fabric and Craft Store 🙈🙈🙈

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kyle oh gee

8 months

@alatusmybeloved

aj 📲

@alatusmybeloved

8 months

when you say "white girl save me" what white girl are you talking about

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kyle oh gee

3 years

I’m so,,, happy for them 😭😭😭

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Someone left a comment on my ig that said “this past year, you didn’t even try to lose weight? ew” and I want 2 let them know that my 2021 priorities were to do my best, do good things 4 the people I luv, and to do their mom 💙 here’s to doing these things in 2022 as well 💙💙💙

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Every time my mother refuses to watch anime with me I can’t help but think this is my fault for showing her Ouran when I was 12, having forgotten that the twins were Like That™️.

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

2 years

Rosaline is fun but when will we get a Romeo and Juliet movie that’s about Mercutio and Benvolio (and maybe they h*ld h*nds)

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Everything twilight I post goes against Stephanie Meyer’s original intentions with those characters and that makes me proud

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kyle oh gee

2 years

We live in a timeline in which we get to experience a Batman film in which Batman probably felt a deep kinship to New Moon Bella Swan

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@smallestkyle

kyle oh gee

3 years

Wtf was Carlisle, a 22 year old vampire, doing saying he and Esme, a 26 year old vampire, had FIVE adopted children in HIGH SCHOOL?!?! Absolute tomfoolery no wonder Edward was such a bad fucking liar, his parents are absolute shit at it too!!!!!

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kyle oh gee

4 years

@korndiddy

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kyle oh gee

2 years

Thankful Glee went off the air years ago bc otherwise there would have been an episode about Rachel’s fall from grace as a Broadway starlet before going MIA, and when Mr. Schue goes to Kurt and Blaine to find her we would get a New Direction cover of We Don’t Talk About Bruno

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kyle oh gee

2 years

The reason why we, as a society, are failing is because no one wants to make a silly little musical episode anymore. What, you think your tv show is above such gimmicks like a musical episode? Grow up.

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kyle oh gee

3 years

18 vs now So many things have changed omg who are these two people

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kyle oh gee

2 years

I wish I could be normal about the characters I like and actually provide good analysis and meta instead of “I am putting this war criminal in my mouth and gnawing on them like they’re a squeaky toy.”

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kyle oh gee

3 years

Start the new year the right way.

@Netflix_CA

Netflix Canada

3 years

if you start watching twilight new moon at 11:23:57PM tonight, jacob will ask bella where the hell she’s been, loca, when the clock hits 12

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kyle oh gee

3 years

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kyle oh gee

2 years

Just started Arcane

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kyle oh gee

2 years

You could say the reason I went to school for acting was because I had such great role models I wanted to emulate 💙

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kyle oh gee

2 years

my therapist asked what i make on my silly little tiktok and i didnt know how to say “well recently, ppl seem to like my video about the passive-aggressive spider that works in hell”

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kyle oh gee

3 years

O shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

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kyle oh gee

2 years

(Benoit Blanc voice) Between the highly specific puhfume, the inability to unduhstand how Mora bahgaining works— and always speaking in that old fashioned way of his— My God! Aethuh, I believe that Rex Lapis has been our compatriot Zhongli all along!

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