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kyle oh gee Profile
kyle oh gee

@smallestkyle

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25 | tomfoolery enjoyer | jellyfish lover | 🧛🏼banner by @cornonthmacabre

he/they 🪼
Joined April 2016
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
7 months
In order to cope with my anxiety, I’ve started pretending a Medieval peasant boy named Gregor has been isekai’d into my body. I spilled coffee on myself. This would normally ruin my day. Not Gregor’s. Gregor is just happy to go outside without rats gnawing at his ankles.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
I lied. I don’t like sex. Put your clothes back on. I’m going to explain to you the underlying lore of Stardew Valley, including the war.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
(Benoit Blanc voice) “It appeuhs that the Cullen family are only masqueRADing as your average adoptive family in the Pacific Northwest— but with Miss Swan at the centuh of every peculiuh happenstance in Forks— why, the entire family! Each and every one is a mythical bloodsuckuh!”
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
If you die in the Stardew Valley mines you die in real life
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Me, who had no intentions of going to Coachella anyways, seeing Hatsune Miku was removed from the lineup:
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
I wish I could play Stardew again for the first time, because nothing will beat me thinking it was a silly little farm game and then the country is at war, the general store owner’s wife had an affair with the local wizard, Abigail eats rocks—
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Relationships should be 50/50, I tell them my fun facts about jellyfish and they pretend that it is the first time I have ever told them those fun facts
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
the unhinged urge to tell everyone in the car “he was roxas in kingdom hearts” whenever jesse mcartney plays on the aux
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
You want me to submit a resumé? The thing that almost killed Bella in Breaking Dawn?
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
You play Stardew for the farming. I play Stardew because I need to put Sebastian in my mouth and gnaw on him like a chew toy. We are NOT the same.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Twilight is unrealistic because in no universe would Bella look at the Cullens and choose anyone else but Alice
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
“Scum Villain is a comedy!” I just finished the yue qingyuan and shen jiu bonus story and no the fuck it isn’t!!!!!!!!
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Edward Cullen composing Bella’s Lullaby
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
7 months
If I’m unsure whether or not to have a sweet treat? Gregor has never experienced such luxuries. He has only had peas and stale bread. There are so many treats at his disposal now. It will be consumed!
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Everyone acts like fishing is the most evil mini game in Stardew, but we’re all forgetting the one true enemy: Junimo Kart.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Concept: we go on a date to the aquarium. You’re having a great time and think I’m romantic, if a little quiet. I am trying to smuggle out the jellyfish by putting them in my mouth when security isn’t looking. We are permanently banned from the aquarium.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
The perfect wall tapestry doesn’t exi—
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
I’m tired of being sexy I want to understand geometry
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
*makes a caption saying I’m nonbinary and am therefore not a woman* The comments: YES GIRL 😍😍😍 my nonbinary QUEEN, you’re killing it mama!! 🥰🥰🥰
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
1 year
The Volturi have arrived at the #MetGala
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
i lied. i don’t actually like sex. put your clothes back on im going to explain the entirety of the cullens’ backstories in twilight
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Shen Yuan writing another scathing review of Airplane’s latest chapter before going on youtube dot com to search “luo binghe angel with a shotgun nightcore amv”
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
6 months
I just wanted to go on a googling journey to find out why Broadway Mrs. Lovett’s casting changed over the years, because she used to be purposefully cast as older than Sweeney and now she’s manic pixie dream murderess age, only to find out that in the original penny dreadful
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
GUYS, BE PREPARED THIS VALENTINE’S DAY!!!!!!! Ladies don’t want chocolates or flowers! They ONLY want the cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, the hair as yellow as corn, and the slipper as pure as gold!!
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
I am foaming at the mouth and literally screaming in pain I need those mf jellyfish lamps or I shall perish
@fentyfairies
3 years
antique tiffany lamp + jellyfish lighting
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
The perfect tattoo doesn’t exi—
@raspberryyswirl
that 1 white girl that dont play about fiona apple
3 years
Edward Was Here
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Something has been bothering me lately about Christmas music so I took matters into my own hands
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
This is how I think #kaeya birthday party went
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
9 months
My mom got me a wallet for my birthday and look who she put inside 😭😭😭
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
PLEASE GOD I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING
@DiscussingFilm
DiscussingFilm
2 years
Rian Johnson and Daniel Craig on The Muppets appearing in the next ‘KNIVES OUT’ film — “That’s a really good idea.” (Source: @KnivesOut )
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Men 🤢 in 2008 clowning Bella Swan for being willing to risk it all for vampire dick as if they didn’t do the exact same fucking thing when Lady Dimitrescu dropped with re8. Weak.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
4 years
I was told to post this on twitter also I don’t know if I can wait until tomorrow I’m losing my MARBLES #CriticalRole @matthewmercer @Marisha_Ray
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Casual fem!shang qinghua bc @zoejoeyk said I should, and anything for you, bestie!! #svsss
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Do you think Alice Cullen could’ve predicted NFTs
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
final filming day for my friend Jude’s music video!!! stream Cult Classic by Jude Tanner for clear skin!!!
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Hi happy birthday to me I’m officially older than Carlisle Cullen was when he was turned into a vampire and he’s a father of five, so I can proudly say that I’ve finally entered my MILF era
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Why would u let Santa into your home…. Through a chimney?? That is basically venting…. Do not let the red imposter into ur house,,,,
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Just a reminder that Rosalie and Emmett canonically boinked so hard it destroyed their house
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
The gender re-entering my body so I can call myself a milf
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Death Note where everything is the same but L reaches out to an old friend of his for help with tracking down Kira. Enter Benoit Blanc.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
My mom when we’re driving on the freeway: Hey, that’s a nice Volvo Me in the passenger seat, fighting the urge to share that Edward Cullen owns a Volvo:
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
I couldn’t remember what the words “toxic trait” were so I kept referring to myself as having a fatal flaw like a greek hero with too much hubris 🧎🏻‍♂️
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Tired of being burdened with self awareness and the gift of free will. I want to have no more thoughts and eat worms instead 💙
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
NFT actually stands for No FighTing (Shakira Shakira)
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
1 year
James trying to turn Bella into a caprisun in the ballet studio
@souleaterwill
soul eater will
1 year
schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Not to be rude but everyone look at me right this moment
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Changing the pronouns in my gmail signature from they/them to he/they felt so good I’m giggling and kicking my legs rn
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Sometimes in order to feel alive you have to cup your hands to catch the water in your shower and pretend to be a young elf maiden bathing under a waterfall in some ancient magical woods
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
10 months
Happy to be starting a new adventure as Sue Sy’lvest’r, with her guardian, Will Schuested
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
1 year
What sucks about depression is that you can talk about it, get diagnosed, get medicine and have a solid support system in your life that loves you but you still can’t get out of bed in the morning and you still cry over nothing and you realize this is just your life forever
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
6 months
story, String of Pearls, the story centers JOHANNA!?? And she’s not Todd’s daughter, and she’s investigating her missing lover, and her dressing up as a boy isn’t to help her escape the asylum, it’s to get her into Todd’s place as an apprentice so she can investigate??
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
1 year
If Glee was still running and Rachel got canceled, she 100% would have posted a ukulele apology video
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
This is the bear that Emmett Cullen has beef with
@nytimes
The New York Times
2 years
A black bear known as Hank the Tank has broken into more than two dozen California homes since July, officials say. Paintballs, bean bags, sirens and Tasers cannot keep the 500-pound animal from seeking leftover pizza and other food.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Happy October 1st it is now Halloween!
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
I’m so upset look at the hat @JennyYokobori got me 🧎🏻‍♂️
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Trying to play dating sims without a guide is so humbling like I will try to be a nice person and then the game tells me my vibes were actually so rancid, my love interest killed me
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Hi
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
1 year
Those French bitches that died holding hands
@nocturneix
kae ♡
1 year
"ships that piss you off", "ships that fill you fill glee", NO lets talk about the ships that DEVASTATED you so badly you never emotionally recovered
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Kyle with the Xiangling hair, what will they do next?
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
7 months
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@GayAndEvil
D 🫀 N I E L
7 months
i am fucking SICK of that ugly little green cunt
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
1 year
Love rocking with the he/they pronouns but I want you to know that my status as an eldest daughter transcends gender. I’m APTAB, actually. Assigned parents’ therapist at birth.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Ashamed to say that all villains who are irredeemable monsters get a pass in my book if they are a woman 💙 that’s not crime at that point that’s just a girlboss trying to build her empire
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
My therapist actually gave me some really eye opening advice and said that the best way to take control of my life and begin the healing process is to start saying whoopsie daisy whenever things go wrong
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Hey how r u hehehe
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
The CDC now recommends being really really nice to me and leaving tangerine slices outside my door
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
My mom started saying “good g—”, remembered at the last moment, and said “good Grog” instead. I’ve been “good Grog”’d three times in the past week now, it’s so funny
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
You want me to be a girlboss? The thing that killed Lady Macbeth?
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Just found these old photos of my grandparents on their wedding day 💙 you can really see how in love they are here
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Soldier, Poet, King by The Oh Hellos but it keeps going to include increasingly more specific and niche fantasy tropes including Dragon Raised By Humans So They Believe They Are Also A Human
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
It truly is fascinating getting weird fat-shaming comments on instagram from faceless accounts with the intent of eliciting a reaction but unfortunately 1. I’m obsessed with myself and think I’m pretty neat 2. the way I look is the least interesting thing about me anyways
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
If I were in a Greek tragedy my fatal flaw would be ass too fat and having immaculate vibes and also hubris
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
1 year
Happy Father’s Day to Sophie and her three dads!
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
This is the first ornament my parents bought for me when I was born and the sibling groupchat got a kick out of it
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Do you think Cogsworth and Lumiere ever explored each other’s bodies
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
6 months
no rizz, just a people pleasing adult eldest daughter who doesn’t know where to put all of the anger inside of them
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
6 months
Johanna….. the woman you are…..
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Omg that me
@katehalliwell
Kate Halliwell
3 years
the best person on tiktok right now is @smallestkyle who does The Feels (Twice) choreo set to an array of increasingly unhinged sounds. gonna thread a few personal favorites:
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Everyone look at the shirt I got today
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
I sang “why do good girls love bad guys/I’ve had this question for a really long time” and I asked my brother if he knew that song and he said, “no Kyle, I support women.” and tbh I can’t really respond to that.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
What if we k*ssed in the Halloween aisle at Joann’s Fabric and Craft Store 🙈🙈🙈
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
8 months
@alatusmybeloved
aj 📲
8 months
when you say "white girl save me" what white girl are you talking about
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
I’m so,,, happy for them 😭😭😭
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Someone left a comment on my ig that said “this past year, you didn’t even try to lose weight? ew” and I want 2 let them know that my 2021 priorities were to do my best, do good things 4 the people I luv, and to do their mom 💙 here’s to doing these things in 2022 as well 💙💙💙
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Every time my mother refuses to watch anime with me I can’t help but think this is my fault for showing her Ouran when I was 12, having forgotten that the twins were Like That™️.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Rosaline is fun but when will we get a Romeo and Juliet movie that’s about Mercutio and Benvolio (and maybe they h*ld h*nds)
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Everything twilight I post goes against Stephanie Meyer’s original intentions with those characters and that makes me proud
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
We live in a timeline in which we get to experience a Batman film in which Batman probably felt a deep kinship to New Moon Bella Swan
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Wtf was Carlisle, a 22 year old vampire, doing saying he and Esme, a 26 year old vampire, had FIVE adopted children in HIGH SCHOOL?!?! Absolute tomfoolery no wonder Edward was such a bad fucking liar, his parents are absolute shit at it too!!!!!
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
4 years
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Thankful Glee went off the air years ago bc otherwise there would have been an episode about Rachel’s fall from grace as a Broadway starlet before going MIA, and when Mr. Schue goes to Kurt and Blaine to find her we would get a New Direction cover of We Don’t Talk About Bruno
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
The reason why we, as a society, are failing is because no one wants to make a silly little musical episode anymore. What, you think your tv show is above such gimmicks like a musical episode? Grow up.
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
18 vs now So many things have changed omg who are these two people
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
I wish I could be normal about the characters I like and actually provide good analysis and meta instead of “I am putting this war criminal in my mouth and gnawing on them like they’re a squeaky toy.”
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
Start the new year the right way.
@Netflix_CA
Netflix Canada
3 years
if you start watching twilight new moon at 11:23:57PM tonight, jacob will ask bella where the hell she’s been, loca, when the clock hits 12
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
Just started Arcane
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
You could say the reason I went to school for acting was because I had such great role models I wanted to emulate 💙
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
my therapist asked what i make on my silly little tiktok and i didnt know how to say “well recently, ppl seem to like my video about the passive-aggressive spider that works in hell”
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
3 years
O shit!!!!!!!!!!!!
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@smallestkyle
kyle oh gee
2 years
(Benoit Blanc voice) Between the highly specific puhfume, the inability to unduhstand how Mora bahgaining works— and always speaking in that old fashioned way of his— My God! Aethuh, I believe that Rex Lapis has been our compatriot Zhongli all along!
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