۟ @sidereumnoxe Twitter profile

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀nobody is coming to save you . get up .

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8 months

⠀“ fix it , please . ” ⠀“ fix what .ᐣ ” ⠀“ me . ”

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀if you’re the sun , i don’t wanna be the moon . the moon’s too far away from you , i’d rather envelop you in the bluest of skies .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀i am someone who did not die when i should have died .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀he ruined you . ⠀you thanked him .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ you touch me and suddenly i feel a little less war torn . i’m not sure what peace is supposed to feel like but i think it might feel a lot like you .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ i did not mean to be cruel . i swear i am good , i am good , i am kind . i have love inside of me . some place far , far away .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ you have me . until every last star in the galaxy dies . you have me .

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@sidereumnoxe

10 months

⠀ “ you came . ” ⠀ “ you called . ”

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀still , there’s this terrible desire to be loved . ⠀still , there’s this horror at being left behind .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀you do love each other , ⠀you do , ⠀and here’s the tragedy ; ⠀it’s not enough .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀saying something dangerous , like “ i love you . ”

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@sidereumnoxe

10 months

⠀ i need a father. ⠀ i need a mother. ⠀ i need some older, wiser being to cry to. ⠀ i talk to god, but the sky is empty .

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@sidereumnoxe

11 months

⠀ “ i’ll take care of you . ” ⠀ “ it’s rotten work . ” ⠀ “ not to me . not if it’s you . ”

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀do you cry my name in the dark like i do yours .ᐣ

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀you wrap your name tight around my ribs and keep me warm . i was born for you .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀but i tried , didn’t i .ᐣ ⠀goddamnit , at least i did that .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ and i thought , “ he’s so pretty i could cry , ” pretty boy , with pretty hair and pretty eyes , “ and he’s all mine , mine . ”

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀but you , please , don’t go .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀i’m not a good person , ask anyone who loves me . i never write , i never call . i never think about anyone at all .

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@sidereumnoxe

6 months

⠀i look at you and i just love you . and it terrifies me . it terrifies me what i would do for you .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀i’m sorry . i’m sorry . ⠀this may be me at my best .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀i love my solitude but i was meant to be a lover .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ “ how will you remember .ᐣ ” ⠀ “ that i love you .ᐣ ” ⠀ “ yes . ” ⠀ “ that’s easy . i can’t help it . ”

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@sidereumnoxe

11 months

⠀tell me where to put the anger . ⠀tell me where to put the anger . ⠀tell me where to put the anger .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ i will look for you in every lifetime , until we finally stay .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀are you becoming what you’ve always hated .ᐣ

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ scary .ᐣ my god—— you’re divine .

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@sidereumnoxe

10 months

⠀ in another universe , i get to save you . you’re still alive .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀dilute me , i tell them . ⠀ ⠀ make me easier to love .

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@sidereumnoxe

10 months

⠀ you taste like heaven, but god knows you’re built for sin .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ “ do you always go where you’re not wanted .ᐣ ” ⠀ “ i’ve never been wanted anywhere . ”

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@sidereumnoxe

5 months

⠀i’m not a violent dog , i don’t know why i bite .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀what a sick little head , your love always turns into obsession .

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@sidereumnoxe

11 months

⠀ and 𝒉𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 knows i’m 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 now .

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@sidereumnoxe

10 months

⠀ there were two reasons i was scared to let people in ; the damage they could do, and the damage they could find .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ no one will know the violence it took to become this gentle .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ i don’t like my mind , i don’t like being left alone in a room with all it’s opinions about the things that i’ve done .

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@sidereumnoxe

11 months

⠀ “ do you think you weren’t loved enough .ᐣ ” ⠀ “ somewhere between ‘ not enough ’ and ‘ not at all ’ . i was always hungry for love . ”

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀i love you and it’s getting worse .

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@sidereumnoxe

11 months

⠀ will you hold my fingers and kiss my alcohol – drenched lips .ᐣ will you love my scars and scratches and my disgusting skin .ᐣ will you love my mind filled with anxiety and woe .ᐣ ⠀ will you love a monster .ᐣ

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀you were a wonderful experience— you were ... everything .

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@sidereumnoxe

2 months

⠀“ mother .ᐣ ” i call for her until my throat is scratched and dry , my voice is reduced to a pathetic rasp , and all i taste is the blood she regrets giving me .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀you will quiver and shake and whisper my name like a fervent prayer .

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@sidereumnoxe

6 months

⠀your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ she looked like a religious icon , like somebody you’d sacrifice yourself for .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ whether you come as a lover or an executioner , i am ready to receive you .

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@sidereumnoxe

10 months

⠀ golden child, ⠀ lion boy ; ⠀ tell me what it’s like to conquer . ⠀ ⠀ fearless child, ⠀ broken boy ; ⠀ tell me what it’s like to burn .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀i’m scared as hell to want you . but here i am , wanting you anyway .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ you’re an angel , i’m a dog .

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@sidereumnoxe

6 months

⠀oh, star child— how long will it take for you to understand .ᐣ no galaxy could ever contain you .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ this world is really cruel . but even so , i will still love you .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀the stars were made for us .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀crawl inside this body , find me where i am most ruined— love me there .

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@sidereumnoxe

11 months

⠀ i crave affection; and run from it .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀i feel it's my anger that has helped keep me alive .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀i’ve never been homesick . because there is no place i belong to .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀you can’t heal in a place that’s just as sick as you are .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀you are haunted by memories that linger like a softly uttered curse .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ but the ache for him is stronger than my anger . i want to speak of something not dead or divine . i want him to live .

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@sidereumnoxe

5 months

⠀always an angel , never a god .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀i fell onto love like a sword .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀i want to meet you in every place i ever loved . ⠀listen to me— i am your echo . ⠀i would rather break the world than lose you .

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@sidereumnoxe

10 months

⠀ by touch , by smell . i would know him blind , i would know him in death .

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@sidereumnoxe

10 months

⠀ what thing worthy of love can be found in me .ᐣ

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ all dark , all bloody , my heart .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ you robbed me of my life . i could have been human— i could have been alive , but you took my heart and you murdered it . you made me into this .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ and i’ll love you in the only way i know how ; with my whole heart , with every fiber of my being , with everything inside me .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀i desire the things which will destroy me in the end .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀we’re not lovers , we’re just strangers .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ my abuse isn’t poetic . it was not justice or necessary . the earth left me to die and there is no such thing as karma . the gods watched idly by as i was killed in that house and not a damn person tried to help me .

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@sidereumnoxe

11 months

⠀ i have a very childlike rage, and a very childlike loneliness .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ god , god , what do i do ／ after all this survival .ᐣ

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀i love him ; i want him to stay away from me .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ you can love a monster , it can even love you back , but that doesn’t change its nature .

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@sidereumnoxe

11 months

⠀ i became bitter and untouchable . i craved affection but even the mere thought of someone caring made my stomach turn .

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@sidereumnoxe

2 months

⠀prophet girl , chosen by the sun , do you hear the gods whispering those silent stardust words .ᐣ ⠀cursed daughter , uttering insanities no one believes , do you regret taking the vow .ᐣ

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear .

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@sidereumnoxe

7 months

⠀even if it is full of love , all a ghost can do is haunt .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀i am quiet , i bury no one , blood is drying beneath my nails . i do not know which me it belongs to .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀if i could have done it all again , i would have loved you better . but i could not have loved you more .

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@sidereumnoxe

1 year

⠀sometimes i feel myself 𝒓𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 .

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@sidereumnoxe

5 months

⠀i am very homesick for arms that have never held me .

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@sidereumnoxe

3 months

⠀inside me , something seethes . inside me , some feral animal claws at my ribcage , trapped .

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@sidereumnoxe

8 months

⠀there’s something wrong with me again …

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@sidereumnoxe

1 year

⠀tell me every terrible thing you did , and let me 𝓁ove you anyway .

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@sidereumnoxe

10 months

⠀ stop looking at me like that , ⠀ with pity in your glassy eyes . ⠀ all i am to you is a tragedy , right .ᐣ ⠀ stop it . ⠀ stop fucking looking at me like that . ⠀ do you hear me .ᐣ

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@sidereumnoxe

3 months

⠀i am not beautifully broken . i was ripped to shreds from the inside out .

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@sidereumnoxe

11 months

⠀ deep in my enemy i find my lover .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ i’ve been quiet for years . i forgot how to communicate and hold a conversation . analyzing every sentence and how wrong it might’ve sounded . i am making others uncomfortable with my discomfort .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ the seats are ⠀ empty . ⠀ the theatre is dark . ⠀ why do you keep ⠀ acting .ᐣ

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@sidereumnoxe

3 months

⠀you sleep coiled ; tightly wound . hands are fists beneath pillows , clenched above cotton sheets . ⠀you are at war , even in your dreams .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ thanks again for saving me . someday , i’ll save you too .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ i’m sorry you were not truly loved and that it made you cruel .

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@sidereumnoxe

10 months

⠀ i would’ve bled out if you told me you liked the color red .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ dad please hold me ᵎ ⠀ dad please keep me ᵎ ⠀ dad please love me ᵎ

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@sidereumnoxe

4 months

⠀i have survived everything , but i fear that i cannot survive myself .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ my soul and yours are the same . you appear in me , i in you , we hide in each other .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort .

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@sidereumnoxe

9 months

⠀ you get me closer to god .

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