I just noticed that I really dont want to be “professional” i just want to create shit posts and cool stuff
this stupid professional stuff keeps being in the back of my head because everything is always content content content
I don’t to create content for the sake of content
The real reason I tweet so much in Japan is because I miss streaming and sharing everything with everyone and it’s really hard for me but I really enjoy my time here
Most people will not care about you, they will not favor you or treat you any different than anyone else
Lots of your ideals will not be followed by other people so it is important to grow strong enough to accept ignore and move on
The amounts of times clients sent me videos of hand drawn animations or have asked me to draw someone’s face in an abstract cartoony style “by tomorrow” is actually insane
I’m a (motion) graphics designer and video editor
Im not an artist
ITS NOT THE SAME 😭
Im not Good at making friends
People scare me
It takes me really long to understand and get along with people
I’m just happy having chat enjoy things with me
That already makes me happy
I need a cool creative hobby I’ve been neglecting creating anything except for content these past years and I want to go back to ACTUALLY creating something that’s not me
sometimes i play with the thought of streaming in german just because i want to know if it would be fun for me
english isnt my first language and sometimes i feel so lost
I don’t know when it started but I’ve been feeling completely indifferent about most things in life recently
There’s pretty much nothing I get worked up about
It’s just “nice I guess”
honestly this vacation is doing me so well I’m all fired up to create content again
I have a bunch of ideas and I can’t wait to try them out and have fun with them!!
I’ve been having two moods recently
“I love streaming” and “I never want to stream again”
And I really do not know where it’s coming from or what’s happening to my head
I feel like there is so much pressure that build up in my brain these past few months where I constantly
Why is Crunchyroll the worst anime streaming website but also my only viable legal option
Why is it that illegal streaming sites are able to do better UX than a huge company
The website I use to do my taxes went down for a day and for some reason I lost all the progress I made when I was still at home…
Which is pretty much everything
I don’t have anything with me to redo them either and deadline is today
man
I want to do what makes me happy but what makes me happy? what do I enjoy?
I used to have so many fun things I wanted to do but now I’m scared to do things because I’m scared they won’t succeed
When I started streaming I just wanted to play videogames while chatting with ppl and lately ive gotten into a mindset of "i have to do this or do that or do those things" when in reality i just want to play video games and have fun and i dont know how to get rid of that mindset
switching health insurance is so difficult wtf
its been such a nightmare these past weeks
nothing works on and they keep asking for things
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO LIGHTWEIGTH
ITS NOT MY FAULT IM SORRY
IDK WHY
i want to do more
create something unique
do something that is ME
but i just cant find that something
time to use the next 6 months to find myself a bit more
content creation is hard!!!!
I don’t think I am a good independent content creator because of many reasons
I think I really need a group of people to work with to get anything done 🫠
I just want to stream everything else is too much for me brain
sometimes i wish i would scream less and have more of a soft voice for streaming but i cant help myself if i am excited i scream into the mic like an idiot!!!
It’s so difficult to really relax!!
I will try to be more in vacation mode!!
I promised content but now it’s hitting me all at once and I’m like „yea I need to calm down a bit“
I want to stream and share things with you but I’m mentally too exhausted from life stuff aaaaaa
Brooo I’m watching twitch rivals and it’s making me so nervous I have to close it from time to time because I get too anxious HAHAHAH
TOO MUCH EXCITEMENT FOR MY HEART