I am still open for up intuitive tarot & oracle readings if you’re interested!
$40- tarot cards only
$45- oracle cards only
$55 - tarot & oracle cards
check out the 🧵 for more on what you can expect -
saw an AITA post about how OP decided to try“exposure therapy” for his autistic gf’s sensory stuff. So he played loud metal music on noise cancelling headphones at full blast and held them on her ears as she tried to get them off. Gf had a panic attack. That is abuse.
Demisexuality exists under the asexuality spectrum because it describes an experience of rare, conditional sexual attraction which only occurs under the circumstances of a close bond. While it’s true many people don’t know they’re demisexual, not everyone is demisexual.
Cats aren’t uncaring, they’re literally so affectionate they domesticated themselves, learned to mimic human babies, and vibrate if they like you. They definitely care, they’re just brats with high expectations to be spoiled, which they deserve
I wasn’t considered for ADHD diagnosis for this reason. I had to pursue it myself.
during my second ADHD evaluation, when asked about school and college, here’s the coping mechanisms I listed:
how could experiencing little to no sexual attraction not be queer in a world that expects it so much that it treats the experiences of aces as something that needs to be fixed by any means necessary and ostracizes the ideas it presents even while claiming to uphold them
once again really, really begging YouTubers and podcasters who are considering sponsorships with Better Help to look up the horror stories people — both therapists and clients — have from trusting that company and look at how they sell patient data
Better help is bad news
“If you have time to watch Netflix you have time for a side hustle” my side hustle is relaxing so that my body and brain can heal from by this nose-to-the-grindstone bullshit. I refuse to feel guilty for being a human with the need to relax sometimes. my side hustle is no.
Real people cannot queerbait you. Real people are complex. Real people can change and grow. Real people are entitled to privacy and safety, no matter how obsessed you are with their work. You are not entitled to the private lives of others. Real people cannot queerbait you.
I don’t hate this. At all. If tiktok is introducing people to things they want to read, that doesn’t seem like a bad thing. It’s a very popular social media platform and is probably helping these authors get seen. Let people read. Let books trend on Tiktok.
Accepting asexuals means accepting demisexuals & gray aces & all the microlabels. There are many ways to be ace. None of this “but you aren’t really ace if”. If you can’t accept aces who defy your expectations of what it means to be ace, you’re not really accepting aces.
“don’t let your disability limit you!”
ah but. it does. part of being disabled is coming to terms with that instead of pretending it’s not there and trying to push through, which is what you’re suggesting. and. I’ve tried that. it doesn’t end well. trust me. it’s a bad time
Children, you have a right to not tell your parents you’re queer, especially if you’re unsure of coming out will put you in harms way.
Parents: if you can’t handle the possibility that your child might be queer, I mean this completely sincerely: do not have children.
OP’s gf, if you see this(you probably won’t? but): please ask whoever you need for help and gtfo if you haven’t yet. Your bf is trying to “fix” that you’re autistic. He does not care about your boundaries and has gone out of his way to violate them more than once. run.
Before this, OP says that he once put bananas, which gf has sensory problems with, in a smoothie without her knowledge, and she threw up. OP also shared that before this they tried to go to a concert and gf had to be taken out by ambulance. And he still did the headphone shit.
The thing about “ADHD is only a disability under capitalism” line of thinking is that, while well meaning (fuck capitalism)it ignores a lot of the struggles with executive function that are present even when all our financial/material support needs are met and we’re accommodated.
Lotta hate going around for demisexuality right now. If you support demis, please say so. Or RT this, if you want. We are here. And we could use some support today, judging from what my search just turned up.
“Oh, you’re demisexual? So you’re normal?”
Yes, it’s normal to be demisexual. To answer what you’re actually getting at: no, not everyone is demisexual. There is a difference between waiting to have sex and not experiencing sexual attraction at all until a close bond forms.
Tbh I don’t think laziness is even a thing but yeah if you were enjoying your procrastination and not literally physically stuck in one spot because your brain can’t sort out options those are two different things
This is like when people think you can cure food allergies with exposure. That line of thinking is extremely dangerous; people can get seriously sick or even die. Which yes, really happens.
All of it makes me wonder what else OP’s done that he didn’t mention in post.
Things like ADHD, autism, depression, OCD, PTSD, bipolar disorder, BPD, and so many others aren’t “status symbols” or a cool kid’s club. The idea that anyone is out here shopping for specific mental health diagnoses is 100% built on ableism. It just doesn’t happen.
“Why is there a need for microlabels like demisexual or gray ace? Isn’t that just the asexuality spectrum? Why not just say you’re asexual?”
Let’s talk about the asexuality spectrum and why specificity in labels under asexuality can make a difference 🧵
#NonBinaryAwarenessWeek
reminders:
•not all nonbinary people are white
•not all nonbinary people are assigned female at birth
•nonbinary people don’t have to look androgynous and may not want to
•nonbinary isn’t new
•nonbinary is real and valid regardless of appearance
You wear glasses every day? Like… to help you see? You gotta be careful with that. Near-sightedness is a myth by Big Pharma to sell lenses. You just need to learn to squint. It’s too easy nowadays to get a prescription from the eye doctor. They give glasses to anyone who pays..
it seems like most of the criticism of asexuality from queer people who don’t accept it boils down to “you’re experiencing something I don’t understand and I don’t like that”. Which is… interesting
•putting everything in 1 folder or I’d lose it
•being unable to stop working on projects for literal days, long after I was exhausted, sometimes I got sick or even fainted
•constant reliance on planners, writing stuff on my hands, and STILL forgetting about things
You can’t “cure” sensory issues like this. You can’t “cure” autism via exposure therapy (or at all, it’s a difference in brain development). This is just abuse. I hope OP’s gf is safe and far, far away from him. Because. YIKES.
A lot of people are saying “Spongebob is asexual according to Stephen Hillenburg” and I just wanna point out that would still make him queer, aces are queer, he can be a gay ace, he’s allowed to wear the rainbow too guys
#Pride
#PrideMonth
#AIsNotForAlly
#AcesAreLGBTQ
can’t help noticing a trend in queer spaces where acceptance of asexuality is painted as “the younger generation is really prudish, I miss sex positive stuff” and …YIKES
sex positive attitudes that don’t include asexuality in all its forms is isn’t sex positive
thank u
Asexuality includes EVERYONE under the asexuality spectrum. That means it includes demisexuals, graysexuals, and all other microlabels. It includes aces who are sex repulsed. It includes aces who are sex neutral. It includes aces who are sex favorable. ALL aces. Period.
Sex repulsed ≠ sex negative
Sex repulsed is a personal attitude towards the act of participating in sex yourself
Sex negative is anti sex ed, anti consent education, anti asexuality, anti queer
Sex repulsed aces do not need to be fixed or cured or anything like that
thanks
•getting good grades at things I was interested in
•BUT no matter how hard I tried at math (which requires more prefrontal cortex processing, something ADHD is known to effect) I would regularly end up in tears and not understand why
•avoiding Gen-Ed math classes in college
“why does everyone have ADHD now” should be “wow, we were missing a lot of people who needed help with their ADHD because they didn’t fit our narrow expectations for what it looks like, who else are we missing, what can we do to make sure they get the accommodations they need”
I hope all asexuals, demisexuals, graysexuals, aroaces, and all aces with the very specific microlabels that helped you find yourself and define your experience are having a good day.
•this is notable because it’s common for people with ADHD to always feel like we must keep going, and we have difficulty with understanding and listening to our body’s cues that we need to slow down, eat, or sleep, because we’re always on that dopamine quest
sometimes I’m like “am I really ace?” and then I talk to allosexuals or just look at how they consume media and the narratives they relate to and I’m like “yeah I’m definitely ace”
we’re just taught that any time we don’t do something it’s a choice, it’s never acknowledged that there are times a person can’t do a thing, and can’t is different from won’t
•being extremely depressed but also constantly engaging in extracurricular activities that took a lot of energy, such as marching band, jazz band, drama club (did 600 hours of theater), track, cross country, after school choir, IBA Honor band, and more
a reminder that accepting asexuality means also accepting that asexuality is a spectrum and there are people who are in the gray area who experience small amounts of sexual attraction or only experience it under a specific circumstance and are still ace that is all thank you
•total inability to keep a schedule without outside forces directing me (common for undiagnosed ADHDers is that we fall apart when we hit college because the safety nets of being in a pre-structured routine are gone)
•trying to self medicate with excessive amounts of caffeine
demisexuality is lowkey so fake and pornbrained. like do you really think with your big adult brain that everyone BUT YOU walks around horned up and dying to fuck anything that moves all the time?
“i need an emotional connection!” most people do. you’re not special.
•emotional instability starting to escalate around puberty in middle school (many people with ADHD, especially cis women and AFABs, experience heightened emotional dysregulation and are misdiagnosed with depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, as I was)
•constantly losing things
•difficulty with instructions if given verbally only and not also given in writing
•difficulty paying attention if I wasn’t doodling (doodling is a form of stimming)
•feeling extremely tired if not allowed to fidget (I figured out ways to hide it)
Also I want to share that I’m not just sharing this because it made me mad (it did) but because I had a terrible relationship years ago and the boundary breaking started with “small” stuff like this. Stuff that was to make me better. Stuff that was “just a joke”.
“I don’t think we should open up asexuality to aces who have sex” you’re literally arguing the points that acephobes argue and saying asexuality just means not having sex my friend. that’s not what asexuality means my friend. please work on your internalized acephobia friend
ADHD and doing well in school aren’t mutually exclusive and this myth really needs to die. We may have more difficulties, but many of us learn strategies to self medicate and regulate as best we can.
Retweet if you are on the asexual spectrum, support people on it, or just really want to kiss a cat's lil forehead no one will know which ok be you're retweeting for
was looking thru Quora at asexuality and someone asked "do asexual people reproduce asexually" and the reply was "do you have any idea how traumatized I'd be if my arm fell off and turned into a baby" and that's how I'm answering that question from now on
demisexuality can be so hard to explain because it’s misconstrued as you just wanting to trust the other person before you have sex with them. and I get why the misconception happens. But demisexuality differs in that there isn’t sexual attraction at all before that bond forms.
An
#AceWeek
reminder that:
•celibacy is a choice anyone can make
•asexuality is a sexual orientation
•asexuality is not celibacy
•celibate aces are still ace
•non celibate aces are also still ace
•you are not entitled to information on our sex lives
happy pride day one!! reminder that aces (everyone under the ace umbrella) (including demisexuals, gray aces, heteroromantic aces, etc) belong at pride too, and if you don’t think so you have a *lot* of stuff to learn and unpack (and you *are* capable of doing that, if you try)
story idea where a succubus can’t tempt a demisexual and they become friends then romantic feelings develop and they start dating and eventually the demisexual develops sexual attraction and the succubus feels valued for who they are and the two are very happy together actually
I’m getting pretty tired of other people with ADHD saying it isn’t a disability because for them life has been fine. That take is ableism towards your own community and isn’t helpful in addressing stigma that bars so many from actual help. Disability is not a dirty word.
While I believe people can change, OP‘a gf deserves safety away from OP, whether ge commits to changing to a better person or not.
Sometimes misunderstandings can cause boundaries to be accidentally crossed. Other times, it’s what OP did here. They are NOT the same.
there are a lot more. But these stick out to me. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until 25. I also graduated 19th in my class and was a part of the National Honor Society. If I hadn’t pursued answers about if I had treatment resistant bipolar or ADHD, I might not still be here.
Asexuality, under which demisexuality is housed, describes an experience of little to no sexual attraction. Aces (short for the asexuality spectrum, also abbreviated as acespec) may or may not be aromantic - meaning they may or may not experience little to no romantic attraction.
Asexuality isn’t always black and white. It’s a spectrum. Demisexuals and graysexuals are in the gray area. We are the gray stripe on the flag. We will continue to exist even if you don’t think we do. 🩶
Sometimes the person who wins the academic award is also the person who was crying and shaking earlier that day because they couldn’t understand their geometry homework and they’ve had it explained to them so many times they stopped understanding words.
Also!! Won’t isn’t always bad. I won’t try to go out and run a mile today. Why? I’m not trained properly and my joints don’t work, and this would result in injury.
Asexual and aromantic are not “spicy straight trying to be special LGBT”. This argument, much like “you’re not really bi/pan if you are with someone of the opposite gender”, asks for visibly performative queerness then ignores the inherent queerness in these experiences.🧵
Did you know that throughout ancient civilizations, the color blue is almost never named? Color vision developed around 30 million years ago, and blue is described using other colors, but it didn’t have its own word.
a thread on asexuality, microlabels, and language. 🧵
Of course “adderall” trending is just a bunch of people who are tweeting extremely ableist things while ignoring people who need stimulant medications to function, why would it ever trend for reasons like “untreated ADHDers are more likely to get in car crashes let’s help them”
Asexuality is a spectrum. Some of us experience rare and/or conditional sexual attraction. Some of us don’t. Some of us have sex. Some of us don’t. Some of us masturbate. Some of us don’t. Like all orientations, we are full of different experiences.
realizing that people who aren’t ace probably don’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out if they have sexual attraction or not they like… they know… they already know
btw this is talking about executive dysfunction where you can’t do anything you either want or need to do and you beat yourself up because you were always taught that whether or not you do the things was a choice. this isn’t about fun procrastination. that’s a different thing.
A lot of ADHDers figure out how to cope, and we figure out that we need to hide how we cope so that we aren’t socially ostracized. Good grades doesn’t mean not ADHD.
Don’t write off people looking for ADHD help based on their schooling. Ask them what they had to do to get there.
“why do young people now hate sex? We did it all the time!”
have you considered that your friends could’ve been lying to look ‘cool’ because not wanting/not having sex meant (and still means) people (like you) would make fun of and socially ostracize them for being ‘prudes’?
Asexuality is little to no sexual attraction.
There is a spectrum of how we each feel about having sex, from repulsed to favorable. But it’s really not about if we do or not. It’s an orientation, not a choice.
Attraction, not action.
Demisexuals don’t have sexual attraction AT ALL to ANYONE without a close bond. It is also only felt towards that person because of the circumstances required to experience sexual attraction. The sexual attraction here doesn’t happen outside of these conditions.
I’m just hoping that the gf is out and safe and away from OP. I do believe people can change. Whether or not they do… well. We’ll unfortunately probably never know in this instance. But I hope gf is safe, no matter what.
For example, yes I had a lot of difficulty with school, some of which is listed above. I also had a rule that I had to get A’s and B’s on everything (except math, my parents realized that was asking the impossible, that was a C). So I worked my ass off.
reminder that asexuality and aromanticism are two different things
some people are both
some people are one and not the other
aromanticism is not a subset of asexuality
acespec — asexual spectrum
arospec — aromantic spectrum
aspec — both ace and aro spectrums
thanks
while I was in school with undiagnosed ADHD, I
•consistently got A’s in history
•took and excelled in AP History and AP English
•participated every year in the IBA Honor Band
•won 1st place my sophomore year of college in 2D art at the student show
Things you probably didn’t realize are accessibility aids for Disability month:
-sunglasses
-subtitles
-braces for various joints
-light dimmers
-contrast controls on computers & TVs
-ear plugs
-headphones
-color & background settings on social media such as Twitter
demisexuality is real
demisexuality is not a judgment on casual sex
demisexuality is under the asexuality umbrella
demisexuality is not just waiting to have sex
demisexuality is often misunderstood
demisexuality is still real and valid
demisexuality just …is
🩶
•read at a 10th grade lexile in 3rd grade
•could memorize entire plays
•once did choir and band at the same time, alternating classes each day
•took & excelled at piano lessons until I quit
•bested my own pastor in Bible quizzing
•graduated with a 3.56 GPA
Are you an empath or were you emotionally neglected as a child and had to be the hyper aware emotional support of your caregivers for your own emotional safety, thus becoming skilled at identifying and addressing the emotions and needs of others before your own
(If you’re ace and don’t think of yourself as queer that’s fine too, my point here is more that aces should be welcome in queer spaces if we want to be and our orientations and experiences directly defy heteronormativity)