What does being "Dialed In" mean to me?
I started "Dialed In Men" after the birth of my first child so that I could document how I was continuing to learn and grow as a person in order to set a good example for him.
Now, 5+ years later, here are the things I focus on:
1.)
My wife and I have found that focusing more on being teammates and less on being soulmates is a solid recipe for marital success.
Here's quick thread on the 6 rules we try to follow to be a good teammate to each other in our marriage.
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Picasso created more than 50,000 works of art.
How many are considered masterpieces that we still admire today?
About a 100.
Less than 1% of his creations are still relevant.
Stop trying to be perfect.
It's a numbers game.
Start creating.
Be courageous enough to share.
Most people don't ask their elders parenting advice.
HUGE mistake.
I asked a bunch of 80+ year-olds.
Here's what they told me:
"I wish I would've spent more time with my kids instead of working more to earn more to buy vacations and things. Our kids just wanted our time."
1.) No one should ever hear anything bad about your spouse from you.
It's one thing to joke with friends about something trivial and quite another to demean your spouse's character.
Know the difference and always discuss the latter with your spouse and no one else.
2.) Over communicate.
You cannot read each other’s minds.
Never assume the other person knows what you meant.
Give each other the benefit of the doubt when miscommunications happen.
Double check if necessary.
Marriage, or any long-term relationship, is not *all* about love & romance.
It’s about working at it day in and day out.
It’s about choosing your partner every day...
You can read the full post from my wife here:
4.) Be each other’s champion. Celebrate wins and encourage each other.
Bring home champagne after a promotion at work, back each other up when engaging in that battle with your heathen toddler, work out together, etc.
Never cut the other person down when they're struggling.
5.) Be grateful for each other’s contributions.
Whether it be money, time, chores, childcare, or anything else, no one contribution is greater than another.
And don’t keep score.
If you truly value each other’s input, then the scorecard shouldn’t (and doesn’t) matter.
@Outkick
This is shocking to... absolutely nobody?
While I'd certainly prefer him to be more upfront about his supplementation, that doesn't mean you can't *also* learn from the ancestral tenants he expouses. There's definitely merit there.
6. Trust and respect each other.
Especially in front of others, including your children.
If you do not respect your spouse in front of other people, why should those people respect your spouse?
Enough said.
3.) Try new things together.
Even if one of you is typically more adventurous than the other, have fun with it.
Trying new things gets an individual out of their comfort zone and is often easier as a couple, allowing you both to grow stronger together.
Two sons of an alcoholic father
One struggles through life as a drunk
The other becomes a successful, sober businessman
"Why are you the way you are?"
Both respond: "My father was an alcoholic"
"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters." - Epictetus
If you work for someone else, leave the office on time.
Remember:
> You're replaceable
> There will always be more work
> Your family is more important than work
> Having balance will make you better at your job
> The value you add is more important than the time you spend
Hill I will die on:
Chicken thighs are both cheaper and tastier than breasts.
Got these 4 lemon pepper thighs for $3.50 at the grocery store this morning.
@iamyesyouareno
Until these kids start sticking up for themselves, this nonsense will continue. And come in numbers because you can bet the scholars will.
@ZubyMusic
I don’t wish I’ll will or physical harm on people, but they were all so smug and self-righteous about the jab that I do think a good “I told you so,” is warranted.
We are living in the safest time in human history (in the U.S.), but you live in fear because of the divisive mainstream media narrative.
YOU are the biggest threat to your own safety.
U.S. deaths/day:
1,315 smoking
820 obesity
191 drug overdose
129 suicide
Only 44 murders
@OliLondonTV
The only way this is okay if it's an elaborate plot to catch a bunch of pedophiles, but knowing what I know about Australia, it seems unlikely.
You want long-term success in life?
Start doing more things where the 1st order consequences are negative, but the 2nd and 3rd order consequences are positive.
Like what?
> Saving Money
> Lifting Weights
> Difficult Conversations
Uncomfortable at first, but huge rewards.
Most people are terrible at salary negotiation.
But what if I told you that a few hours of preparation and an uncomfortable five-minute conversation could dramatically increase your future earnings?
Here’s a thread chock full of tips to increase your next offer.
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In 1666, Cambridge University closed its doors to help stop the spread of the black plague.
As a result, a 23 year-old student named Isaac Newton had to go back to his family estate for a year.
The result?
He invented calculus.
What are *you* doing with your COVID19 break?
I try not to praise my son for "being smart."
Though, he is (smart), this is not something he has the ability to change.
I praise him for:
• The effort he expends
• Being persistent with a problem
• Being creative/trying something new
• Coming up with a thoughtful solution
Move to a city where your neighbors wave at you, there's block parties in the cul-de-sac, you know half the people in the restaurant on Friday night, your kids make life long friends in Little League, and everyone looks out for each other.
If you're not working your ass off so you can buy a cabin in the woods near a body of water, we're playing a different game.
Gonna fill it to the brim with books, guns and running shoes and sit on the porch drinking the blackest coffee ever while the grand kids catch fish.
A lot of people get frustrated with me when I say marriage isn't hard; however, I must concede, parenting can definitely be hard sometimes.
Here's a quick thread on 7 things my wife and I do to try and raise healthy and happy kids while simultaneously maintaining our own sanity:
You: "I bought my house for $200,000 (30-year fixed-rate mortgage at 4.5% interest) and sold it 30 years later for $400,000. I made $200,000."
Umm, the total cost of your mortgage was closer to $525,000 and I'm sure you made a few repairs in those 30 years.
House ≠ Investment
Dear Men,
You can probably solve 50% of the communication problems in your relationship by asking your significant other this question at the start of a conversation:
"Are you wanting me to help find a solution, or do you just want me to listen?"
My wife and I have a private blog for just the two of us.
It features photos, screen captures from fun text conversations, milestones, etc. from our relationship—all in chronological order.
It's a great pick me up during a bad day.
And, perhaps, a gift for our kids one day.
I always knew I wanted to be a father.
I was less convinced I’d find someone worth of being their mother.
I found that at 27.
Got married at 28.
Father 1x at 31.
Father 2x at 34.
Father 3x at 37 (Sept '21)
Fatherhood has been the greatest joy and gift ever.
I love it.
[THREAD]
The vast majority of you set goals like: get more fit or earn more money.
Nothing wrong with either of those, but the key to having more time to pursue those goals is saying "no" to things that take up a lot of time.
Here are 13 Things You Should Stop Doing in 2020 👇
Had heard stories, but have now seen it first hand.
My brother-in-law’s father passed away of dementia and congestive heart failure.
His C0vld test came back negative.
His death certificate says “C0vld complications” so I basically believe *nothing* now—ZERO benefit of doubt.
Some basic things men should be able to do:
• Tie a tie
• Give a toast
• Shoot a gun
• Parallel park
• Cook a steak
• Mix a cocktail
• Hang a picture
• Change a flat tire
• Shine your shoes
• Do a proper deadlift
• Shuffle a deck of cards
• Give a proper handshake
In modern life, you must actively fight against:
> Being overworked
> Becoming overweight
> Always feeling lethargic
> Being constantly stressed
How?
> Sleep more
> Eat nutritious food
> Say no to stupid meetings
> Long walks + heavy weights
> Make time for deep work & stillness
Here's a tweetstorm featuring 25 things I intend to teach my 2-year old son.
[Spoiler Alert]: A bit of a surprise for those who make it to the end...
1.) You should always try to go to bed smarter than when you woke up.
For the best way to get smarter, see
#2
.
The cost of raising a child is an estimated $233,610, excluding college tuition, according to a 2018 estimate from the Department of Agriculture.
If you don't want to have kids, don't.
But, me?
If the cost was $1.2M, I still have at least two.
I love being a father.
What advice would you give to a single 25-year old?
> Forget your "passion" - take the highest paying job
> Buy a gun; learn how to use it
> Dress like you give a damn
> Get as jacked as possible
> Read and write more
> Never stop learning
> Start a side hustle
> Take more risks
What if we mandated the following?
> Daily walks
> Lifting weights
> Healthy nutrition
> Morning sunlight
> 7+ hours of sleep
> Gratitude journals
> A gallon of water a day
> Healthy social relationships
> Vitamin's D, K, & Magnesium
The most successful people you know have these things in common:
• They read a lot
• They take action
• They do things they enjoy
• They manage their time well
• Self-discipline is second nature
• They're undeterred by setbacks
• They take responsibility for their lives
Staying at one company for an extended time is no longer rewarded.
If you're doing good work and they're dragging their feet to promote you, go get a competing offer.
If they don't match it, leave.
Job hopping is [often] the best way to increase your earnings.
@FlorioGina
@alexfeinberg1
Wouldn't it be nice to live in a world where we celebrated positive transformations—you know the ones that actually lower the burden of healthcare costs on society?
The 5 Best Books I've Read in the Last 3 Years Are:
• Atomic Habits
• Shadow Divers
• 30 Lessons for Living
• The Lessons of History
• When Breathe Becomes Air
And here are some others I really enjoyed...
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Chase the money, or in-demand skills, not passion.
This is counter intuitive to the advice you normally hear, but very few of you truly know what you want to do when you’re in your 20's.
Passion isn’t something you find, it’s something you cultivate over time.
Make two-parent families great again!
Children of single-parent families suffer:
- 63% of suicides
- 50% of youths in jail
- 90% of homeless children
- 71% of high school dropouts
- 85% of children with behavioral disorders
- 75% of children in chemical dependency hospitals
Learn how to take care of yourself in your 20's.
The way you take care of yourself now will be amplified in your 30s.
Sleep, diet, mental health... get these things dialed in now.
@ScottAdamsSays
People who can't achieve quality outcomes on their own merit always favor equality of outcomes over equality of opportunity. Because, of course they do.
Awesome Old Man Advice:
• Life isn't fair
• Call your mom
• Stand up straight
• Integrity is everything
• Have a firm handshake
• Look people in the eye
• Choose your spouse wisely
• If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right
• Give people a 2nd chance, but not a 3rd
“I don’t have time to chase my dreams, I have kids.”
Bruh - your kids NEED to see you chasing dreams, going after things that are important to you and living a big, audacious life. Stop using them as an excuse and start thinking of them as the reason.
My wife's and my non-negotiables with our kids:
> Dinner together
> Frequent family walks
> Books before bedtime
> Time outside *at least* 1x/day
> Speak to each other with respect
> Lots of hugs, kisses, wrestling, et al.
> If frustrated or angry, take a deep breath/ask for help
@iamyesyouareno
In the HR videos you have to watch about this stuff in the workplace it’s always the statistically least probable suspect commuting a crime against the highest likelihood of perpetrator. Always laughable.
Do you want to climb the mountain?
Or do you want to tell people that you climbed the mountain?
Do you want to write the book?
Or do you just want to tell people you're an author?
If nobody ever KNEW you climbed the mountain or wrote the book...
...would you still do it?
Things I will remind my son of:
> Don't *ever* drink and drive
> Stand up to bullies; protect the bullied
> Wait a day before sending an angry e-mail
> When you marry the girl, you marry her family
> Don't be scared to ask the prettiest girl in the room out
Nobody cares how hard you work.
This is a tough lesson to learn.
Energy expended does not necessarily correlate with results.
Someone drowning is expending massive energy, just to stay alive.
Your hard work has to translate into value for the people you seek to serve.
One of my best friends owns a handful of restaurants
The last 18 months have been hell
All paper products = 55% increase over the last 18 months
Pre-pandemic:
Bacon, 33lb case: $75
Chicken, 40lb case: $35
Fry Oil - 35lb lug: $20
Pandemic:
Bacon: $187
Chicken: $90
Fry Oil: $43
@RGIII
@OuttaPocketRG3
@GGriffinIII
Don't always agree with you (and that's okay, of course), but hate to see this; albeit ESPN is a woke, sinking ship. Best of luck in whatever is next, hombre.
Don’t be the person who refuses grandma’s home cooking because you’re “eating clean,” or keto, or whatever.
If you’re lucky enough to still have a grandma, let her feed you.
Say “thank you,” and ask her to tell you some stories/impart some wisdom.
Make the next meal healthy.
@TheEcho13
100% true—even at first glance women’s algorithm goes beyond just physical appearance.
How’s he carrying himself? Is he confident? Taking up space? Surrounded by other “attractive” people?
That said, height is a big part of initial equation—bit disingenuous not to include.
I cannot stress this enough...
Most perfectionists are broke. They rarely win.
"Good enough" usually gets the job done.
Try something. Fail. Learn from it. Pivot.
If you fail three times before someone else starts, you win.
Build and strengthen your discipline.
Discipline is a like a muscle that can be trained to grow stronger; whereas, motivation will come and go.
Discipline gets the job done even when you're unmotivated.
Some "pro" tips:
> Always ask a new parent to see a picture of the baby
> When you hear something nice about someone, tell them
> Never say something negative about your spouse in front of your kids
> When a child asks you to look at something they've created, do it immediately
@BowTiedDaddy
My old man always tells me he’s old and has lived a good life an he’ll happily go to prison for his grandkids.
Hope you all get a just resolution and she learns something and emerges on the other side stronger, more aware and more resilient.
Things to stop caring about:
> Your age (you can't change it)
> Toxic people (avoid them like the plague)
> What others think about you (who cares?)
> Your past (makes you who you are, but can't change it; drop the baggage)
People don't blink at paying $50K+ a year for an MBA.
But they balk at paying a couple hundred bucks for an hour of dedicated 1:1 time with someone who is successful at the very thing they want to be good at.
Makes no sense.
"I wrote 50,000 words."
"I worked 80 hour weeks."
"I worked more than him."
"I worked harder than her."
Just a friendly reminder that, in a free market, you're rewarded for your output—for what you actually create, for the value you provide, not the intensity of your labor.
Stop caring so much about what other people think.
Don't define your self worth by the attention you get from others. This is especially true of 'likes' on the Internet.
An inner scorecard is a winning scorecard.
Stop being so damn hard on yourself.
The mistakes you make are part of your learning.
Be resilient in the face of failure.
If you keep showing up, everything will work out.
I don't think I've ever cheered against a USA team ever. But the
#uswnt
was so unlikeable and entitled and whiny and arrogant that I couldn't cheer for them. I'm actually pleased they lost to Sweden. Which is shocking for me as a soccer fan to say. Rapinoe missed, even better.
Probably an unpopular opinion, but aside from killing someone or physically hurting a child, I can't think of anything more malicious or despicable than going after someone's livelihood for something they said on the Internet. I'm serious. I don't care how awful their words were.
Gym snobs are (mostly) a myth and/or made up by insecure gym goers looking for an excuse.
In my experience, veteran lifters are some of the first to encourage you, will almost always answer your questions and will politely step in and offer advice if you're risking injury.
Practical Ways to Start Leveling Up:
> Go to bed earlier
> Drink more water
> 50 push-ups a day
> Read 15+ mins/day
> Start a gratitude journal
> Quit one bad habit a month
> Reduce TV consumption; especially cable news
> Ask for and accept honest feedback from people you trust