Rachel Stephens @rstephensme Twitter profile

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

11 years

"You are the only person in the history of time who needs a ruler to draw a hand turkey."

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

one of my love languages is "stripping all the tracking junk out of URLs before I send them" I hope that every time you get a link from me without an '&' sign, you feel my fondness from across the internet

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

8 years

This is my new favorite slide. #ignitedenver

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

Our three year old started the morning sobbing "I don't want to go to Monday! I want to go to Saturday!" Relatable on the highest level.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

Ron Howard describes the creative benefits of aging as “the callouses of experience,” and I just adore that metaphor. #adobemax

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

“All code is technical debt; it’s just different interest rates we’re paying on it. Debt powers the economy and it powers your business. None of this is inherently good or bad. It’s a tool.” @DormainDrewitz #gluecon

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

10 months

It has come to my attention that my three year old thinks bunk beds are actually called bonk beds “because you bonk your head”

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

The crossword clue was "a sidecar may be added to it" and I'm beyond sad that my first instinct was "kubernetes pod!"

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

RedMonk Top 20 Languages Over Time

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

5 years of @redmonk . Not too shabby.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

I wish I had the right words to express the absolute all-consuming rage I have about what we've societally asked of families these past few years, and particularly of families of kids under 5 right now.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

Every single time @kelseyhightower talks (this time at #VMwareExplore ), I remain floored at his ability to weave a narrative. He's the best in the industry.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 years

We are all very happy and very sleepy.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

“A SaaS company’s core value prop is ‘trust us that we can execute this more efficiently than you can do it yourself.’ Trust is the number one thing a SaaS company sells.” Twilio’s @jeffiel at #PDSummit19

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

today I learned that the @redmonk logo is designed based on Sean Connery in The Name of the Rose, and I am so delighted

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 years

I made it so many hours into this holiday without swearing, but this recipe calling for 3/8 tsp of nutmeg is what set me over the edge. You either round that down to 1/4 tsp or up to 1/2 tsp. GTFO with your 3/8 nonsense, NYT.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

Things happened. When things happen, you make an art exhibit to prepare your spouse for what they are about to encounter as they enter the house.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

DUDE WE *JUST* FINISHED PUTTING AWAY ALL THE LAUNDRY FROM LAST TIME HOW ARE ALL THE HAMPERS ALREADY FULL AGAIN

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

@editingemily This used to be my favorite. (The “help” button is not actually very helpful in the face of catastrophic failure, which is a life lesson.)

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

some @honeycombio / @eanakashima tips for a successful hiring process: - no adversarial interviews - ask candidates how they will be most successful in the interview - no surprises - be transparent / give them tips (“if you get stuck, talk us through your thought process”)

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 years

win-coming! it turns out 2020 isn't all bad news.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

I enjoy writing restaurant reviews in the comments of my expense reports. Last week was my first time in Austin. My #SpringOne receipts are accompanied by probably the most gushingly enthusiastic expense report ever written. Breakfast tacos for life.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

7 months

about 4 years ago my daughter asked me what I did that day and I told her I "worked on slides" and she was instantaneously so excited to hear about my playground-based work day. anyways, I think about her disappointing fall back to reality every time I have to make a deck.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

Sunday Rachel: I have a meal plan for every single lunch and dinner this week along with a list of healthy snack options. Tuesday Rachel: hi there, Dorito. have you met my friend, Oreo?

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 months

This @flydotio hoodie is legit one of the best pieces of swag I have ever brought home from a conference

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 years

forgot to mute and interrupted a conference call with my kid hoping I could come play hide and seek. since this now officially part of my work sphere, I figured you might all enjoy seeing what her attempts at hiding looks like.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

I took the kids to Sonic. Nicest, most helpful guy takes our order. I ordered “two vanilla ice cream cones, and do you all have sprinkles?” (It felt like a long shot, but Sonic has all the milkshake mix-ins so it seemed possible)

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 months

I think we should have a parental Olympics in the weeks leading up to the actual Olympics. Here are my proposed events.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

7 months

There are worse places to take a meeting #KubeConEU

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 years

What we as an industry can take away from a tech conference hosted in Animal Crossing

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

This is my first week with United lounge access. My best tip is to be completely enthusiastic because the staff are awesome! If someone walks up and offers you chips and salsa and your response is "HOLY SHIT YEAH YOU CAN!" do you know what you get next time? Guacamole!!!!

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

RedMonk Top 20 Languages Over Time: January 2020

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

11 months

It’s awful for the people getting laid off, but also your remaining staff will remember it and remorselessly integrate it into your culture. I worked for a place where “the Thanksgiving (layoff) massacre” was brought up every holiday season for *years.*

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

1 year

The opening Monktoberfest talk from @nmeans is unequivocally one of the greatest talks I have ever heard. And that's the first of the day. I love this conference with my whole heart.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

@penelope_zone Lavalier tips: 1) If your dress fabric isn't structured enough to hold a mic, you can slip a business card behind the fabric to help add more rigidity. 2) Pockets or a belt highly recommended so you don't have to clip the mic to you bra strap.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

Today @redmonk turns 20, and I've been lucky enough to be here for the past 6 of them. I've learned that praise makes @monkchips and @sogrady deeply uncomfortable. We have one day every two decades to say nice things, so I have to make this count. :)

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

I have approximately 1,000 other things I'm supposed to be doing today and yet somehow turning this tweet into an IDEs of March joke ended up at the top of my priority list.

Holly Graceful

@HollyGraceful

3 years

Text editors, from best to worst: 1. Visual Studio Code 2. Sublime 3. Atom 4. Nano 5. Gedit 6. Notepad++ 7. MSPaint.exe 8. Vim

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

This morning a random 4-year old in a tutu told me today was ice cream day. Who am I to argue with subject matter experts?

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

There’s much to like in @editingemily ’s book, not least of which is the fact she can flat out write. Look at this sentence: “…managers sit between a rock and a hard place, constantly facing scrutiny from executives and mutiny from engineers.”

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

@monkchips 3) We can’t grow the developer community without treating our women colleagues better. We have to call out unacceptable behavior, and we have to start now. We can’t wait for the pipeline.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

Developer Experience Is Security

Developer Experience Is Security

The DevOps movement (and its offshoot DevSecOps) aims to improve the frequency and quality of software deployments by breaking down silos between teams. When the walls between teams disappear we...

redmonk.com

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

Day 2 of a business trip as a parent: I don’t know what to do with all the newfound space in my brain when all the Elmo songs go away.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

7 months

We’re back! #monkigras

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

R: can you grab my database hat? D: sure R: that way everyone knows I’m cool. D: oh.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

Hypothetically: if you funded a company you valued at ~$48B and then took control of the company after its failed IPO at an ~$8B valuation, the red represents value lost between rounds (where each square = $6M, or the amount you paid the CEO for the naming rights to the company)

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

11 months

If my OOO was honest: “I’m not checking email this week. Then I go straight to reinvent and probably won’t check email much either. Also, my kid got sick last week and the week before that I was at KubeCon, so honestly I’m looking at a month of email debt. Good luck!”

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

Thanks for making the world in general a better place @monkchips and @sogrady , but especially thank you for my world. It's amazing here. #20YearsOfRedMonk

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 months

The only reason I use an iron these days

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

I was going through my folder of research drafts and found a document entitled "what I know for sure." This "research" has zero relevant technological or professional insights, but 100% I stand behind this important take on breakfast food.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 months

RedMonk employs serious professionals who attend serious business dinners using serious modes of transportation. Very serious. (thanks for the ride @adrianco !)

Sriram Subramanian

@sriramhere

5 months

@amber_rowland @adrianco @ha_joslyn @KateHolterhoff @rstephensme @drkellyannfitz @trentgd I calling dibs on the trunk seat next time! It was super fun, thank you for organizing this Amber!

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

10 months

an update on @redmonk programming language rankings tl;dr - the data is impacted and it's going to get worse

What’s Going On With Language Rankings?

As the inbound DMs and emails attest, at least a few of you out there having been waiting for RedMonk to drop our latest version of the programming language rankings. Our apologies about the delay:...

redmonk.com

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

When people say projects are "a marathon, not a sprint" they are leaving out the important fact that the end of the race is usually still a sprint, just at the end of a marathon.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 months

Thanks for having me @LaunchDarkly ! I had a great time talking about developer experience in 2024!

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

I have made a lot of good decisions in my life, but deciding to work for @sogrady and @monkchips is right up there at the top of the list.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 years

A few days ago the @redmonk team very kindly sent me a "you are very pregnant" care package full of chocolate, but these supplies are also proving to be rather important this election day. Between that and Halloween candy I'm currently 98% powered by peanut butter cups.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 months

me as a teenager: don't tell me what to do! me now: could someone please just tell me what to do?

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

#gluecon humor is the best humor: “the number of people predicting the end of Moore’s Law is doubling every two years”

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

My job just got a million times cooler to my kid. #AdobeMAX

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 months

oh hi, I just unpacked my suitcase within an hour of arriving home and I’m wondering where I pick up my trophy

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

My first #RHSummit was pretty fantastic. Thanks for making my first trip away from my baby girl such a positive experience! Time to get home to this face.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 months

My first time having a conference keynote break for eclipse viewership

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

7 months

That first shower after you get home from a long haul flight is just a top-tier shower experience

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

Ready for the closing developer keynote at #DevOpsWorld . I am so excited for @monkchips ’ talk about how we to get to a world of 100M developers.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

@monkchips In conclusion, here’s how we grow our profession:

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

I just experienced my first car line and wow, I am just amazed. What an incredible incentive to never drive your children to school.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

I think this is my all-time favorite app review.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 months

Sometimes I tell myself to “trust the process” knowing full well that I have no process

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

I just watched my son eat dirt off a hand trowel I made in shop class in 7th grade. Two of the best things I’ve ever made, playing in the dirt together.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

@monkchips (I missed the point James was making here because I got very excited about seeing my chart on a giant screen!)

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

10 months

Hoooooooow?

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

after the first kid-fridge door collision, we started giving our toddler a friendly "beep beep!" to give her a heads up we're opening a door that she is in danger of running into. my sincere apologies to the dude in the co-working space that I just beeped at in the kitchen.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 months

The closest you can get to first class in economy On my way to you, #AtlassianTeam24

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

“I have an entire - and not insubstantial - part of the company budget set aside for ‘spite.’” Any guesses who I am having dinner with tonight?

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

This is legitimately the most excited I've ever been about a talk that I've written. If you can make it to Broomfield, CO next week, you should. :)

Hope Scrollin

@monkchips

2 years

getting a preview of @rstephensme talk for @gluecon and i swear... this is CANON. this talk is so great. go to @gluecon , watch this talk, meet redmonk for beers.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

As I walked past the event staff holding the Ask Me Anything sign, he said “really! anything!” Anyways, it’s a little sad to realize you’ve reached an age where people don’t have a ready answer for “what’s your favorite dinosaur?”

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

Everyone who is confusedly wandering around Twitter today waiting for the other shoe to drop while simultaneously feeling too committed to their network here to restart somewhere else is living the online version of "why would they keep rebuilding their house in a flood plane?"

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

RedMonk Top 20 Languages Over Time: June 2021

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

No one tells you that part of parenthood is hiding in a hotel room bathroom while you try to get your kid to nap on vacation.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

I'm giving a talk on things I wish I had known early in my career. Please enjoy this gif from perhaps the most on-brand Rachel slide ever created.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

R: what are we going to do this weekend? D: I dunno, same thing we do every weekend. R: TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. Just in case you haven’t thought about Pinky and the Brain recently, it is still alive and well at our house. (Also: accepting long weekend activity suggestions.)

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

8 years

apparently I’m not the only @kelseyhightower fan. full house for his container management & deployment session at #googlecloud17

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

There are four people to whom I owe an incredible debt in transitioning my career to tech: 1. @ftrain 's What is Code inspired me to teach myself to code 2. using @hadleywickham 's OSS project was the first time I found joy in code 3. @sogrady and @monkchips gave me a shot

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 months

I see so many demos of “I don’t want to write this tedious thing” and also demos of “I don’t want to read this tedious thing” but I never see anyone demo the end state where no one is bothering to write the things that no one is bothering to read.

Corey "👻IAM Fails Open!🙀" Quinn

@QuinnyPig

6 months

The fundamental error all of these GenAI use cases make is in assuming that people will want to read something that other people couldn't be bothered to write.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

can anyone out there manage to not say "boop" when they tap their yubikey? I think it's impossible.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

My attempts to find some silver linings (both in my work life and my home life) in our chaotic world

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

It’s 10 PM. Do you know where your children are? Why yes, yes I do. They are both awake crying for snacks and one is insisting she needs to do yoga. Thanks for asking.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

I wonder how many people enter the medical profession primarily so they can wear scrubs? I'm totally jealous of the parents that get to wear socially acceptable sweatpants to daycare pickup.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

It just occurred to me that we use the phrase "it's a circus" to convey disorder and chaos, but upon reflection I feel fairly confident that few people would succeed in managing an actual circus' logistics.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 years

I love NFTs. I still don’t entirely understand what they are, but this podcast trying to explain them is the single greatest sleep aid I have encountered. I’ve listened a half dozen times and have never been awake past the 10 minute mark.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 months

When I am asked if I came home sick from #KubeConEU but I have small children and a conference with 12,000 people was actually a respite from daycare germs

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

2016 VMworld was my first solo tech conference with RedMonk, and it was TERRIFYING. There’s lots to like about #vmworld today, but on a personal note, my favorite part is looking back at how far I’ve come in the last two years.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

3 years

My toddler’s bedtime stalling was asking to see a picture of Dr. Seuss. “I really want to see what she looks like, Mama!” So we looked it up. She was so disappointed it was a man, while I tried to hide my satisfaction that thus far in her life she’s only met women doctors.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

6 years

One of my hobbies is using my expense reports to write restaurant reviews. My favorites are usually the airport food.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

2 years

A @redmonk client was beyond awesome and allowed me to add goats to our interview. I’m so excited for the final video to drop later this month, but in the meantime I must share this sneak peek.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

9 months

To be honest, this is possibly how I would have responded to @sogrady texting me between Christmas and New Years even if it hadn’t been a scammer.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

8 years

Just exited an international flight in Denver to a sea of pro bono lawyers and civil rights monitors. This is who we are. Thank you.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 months

“Hot chocolate and a sangria, please.” “Sure. I’m gonna need to see an ID for the sangria.” “Sorry man, the only ID have on me is this 6-year old and these bags under my eyes.” Delighted/devastated to inform you that I successfully walked away with the sangria.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 months

There was an unauthorized branch, but I managed to diplomatically restore order to the Group 2 line. My greatest merge conflict resolution happened at SFO gate E7.

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

5 years

I’m a sucker for a lightweight spreadsheet, but this is nice. played around for ~5 minutes and already replaced Soulver on my home screen.

Rich Ziade

@richziade

5 years

More here:

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Rachel Stephens

@rstephensme

4 years

For having not left the house in a month, the language of flight attendants comes up with my 2 year old a lot. “I need a verbal confirmation that you understand this will be the last episode of Paw Patrol.” “At this time I need you to stow all your toys for bedtime.”

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