incorrectromangerri @romangerricrack Twitter profile

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: can you do me a favour? roman: i would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my dna at the crime scene and take the blame for you. gerri: ok. can you be nicer to frank? roman: absolutely not.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

tom, whispering: why are roman and gerri sitting with their backs to each other? shiv: they had a fight. tom: then why are they still holding hands? shiv: roman gets sad when they fight.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: what’s your favourite position? gerri: CEO.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

2 years

gerri: *helping roman button up his shirt* roman: *makes eye contact* gerri: roman: gerri: roman: gerri: *starts unbuttoning the shirt*

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

2 years

roman: i’m going on a date. gerri: good for you. roman: good for us. i’ll pick you up at 8?

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: repeat after me. gerri: stop buying. roman: stop buying. gerri: gerri expensive gifts every day. roman: gerri expensive gifts every day. gerri: stop buying gerri expensive gifts every day. roman: keep buying gerri expensive gifts every day. gerri: rome-

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? gerri: uh, sure. roman: thou art hot as fuck.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

7 months

roman: :( roman: *sees gerri* roman: :)

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: do you want to come with me to- roman: absolutely. gerri: you didn’t even let me finish. roman, smiling: ‘with you’ is all i need to know. gerri, smirking: alright. get ready, we’re going for dinner and drinks with frank and karl. roman: we’re WHAT???

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: i don't know why i've been so nauseous lately. roman, seriously: maybe you're pregnant. gerri: gerri: i don't know who’s the bigger idiot. you for suggesting that, or me because i almost started panicking.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

*playing scrabble* willa: i will put down “a.” roman: i will add to your “a” to make “at.” connor: oh good one, i will add to your “at” to make “rat.” gerri: i will add onto your “rat” to make “obliterate.” roman: *flips the board*

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: i impulsively bought a snake. what do i name him? gerri: you did WHAT- frank: william snakespeare.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

2 years

gerri: rome, help me with this zip please? roman: of course. gerri: gerri: UP, roman. roman: right, sorry.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

10 months

gerri: *drunk, pushing on a door that clearly says pull* roman, filming her: you’re not pushing hard enough.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: has anyone seen my wife? stranger: what does she look like? roman, sobbing: BEAUTIFUL.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: karolina’s wife gives her flowers everyday, i wish you’d do that too. roman: whatever you say, baby. *later* roman: *gives karolina flowers* karolina: uh? thank you?? roman: i’m just as confused as you are.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

*arguing* roman: fuck. you. gerri: later. now, listen you little asshole-

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: *sleeping* gerri: he looks so peaceful. gerri, uncapping an eyeliner: and vulnerable.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

10 months

roman: i take orders from no one. gerri: 🤨 roman: i take orders from no one unless their name is gerri kellman. gerri: good boy.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

*drunk roman and gerri trying to cook* gerri: the recipe says two shots of vodka. roman: *gets two glasses and pours shots* roman and gerri, clinking their glasses together: cheers! roman: ok, what next. gerri: two shots of vodka, but not for us.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: a martini for me and uh… he’ll have a capri sun. roman: gerri, i’m an adult. gerri: roman, mumbling: i can buy my own capri sun.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: you’re lucky i love you. roman, gasping: you LOVE me? gerri: are you going to gasp every single time i tell you that? roman: fuck yes! say it again, please. gerri, smiling: i love you, rome. roman: *pretends to faint whilst gasping* gerri, laughing: fuck off.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

10 months

gerri: what are you doing? roman: just checking. gerri: checking what? roman: you out.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

11 months

roman: i find it attractive when gerri. connor: when gerri…? roman: yes.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: *accidentally brushes her hand against roman’s* roman: *aggressively grabs gerri’s hand* fucking commit to it!

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

2 years

gerri: roman and i don’t have pet names for each other. karolina: mhmm. gerri what do bees make? gerri: honey? roman from the other room: yes baby? karolina: don’t lie to my face ever again gerri.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: personally, i blame you. roman: how can it possibly be my fault? gerri: because otherwise it would be my fault. gerri: and that can’t be right.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: *wakes up next to gerri every morning* roman, every morning: holy shit.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: *seductively takes off her glasses* gerri: wow... roman: *blushing* ...what? gerri: you're really fucking blurry.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in that box over there. frank: …that’s the trash can, ger. gerri: it sure is. roman, getting down on one knee: will you marry me, again?

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: i’m roman roy’s emergency contact. doctor: so, are you here to pick him up? gerri: i’m here to get myself removed as his emergency contact.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: i hate him so much. roman: me too. gerri: you have no idea who i’m talking about. roman: solidarity, baby.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

11 months

frank: now that i have your attention- roman: you don’t have my attention. frank: gerri. roman: i’m listening.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: i’m done with this conversation now. *stands up* gerri: sit back down, right now. roman: i’m sat.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

8 months

roman: i think my instincts about people are better than yours. gerri: why? roman: well, i picked you. gerri: honey- roman: you on the other hand, picked me.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: she’s so beautiful. frank: roman, i need you to focus. roman: i am focusing. i’m focusing on how beautiful gerri is.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

11 months

gerri: you’re going to hate yourself in the morning if you stay up late. roman: jokes on you cause i’m gonna hate myself in the morning no matter what. gerri: honey, we talked about this.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

stranger on the street: ma’am is that man bothering you? gerri: *looks at roman* yes, but he’s my husband. i knew what i was getting myself into.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

2 years

shiv: can you call mom? roman: sure, hey siri, call mom. siri: calling mommy. roman: shiv: at what age are you going to stop calling mom mommy? you need to grow- gerri: hey, rome. shiv: *chokes on her drink* roman, smirking: hey, ger.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: bitch. gerri: i’ve been called worse. roman: like what? gerri: your wife. roman: take that back right now!

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: if a beautiful woman disagrees with me i will immediately change my views. i have no principals. gerri: well, maybe you should have principals. roman: you’re right, i should.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

11 months

gerri: what are you doing? roman, with baby ducks following him about the house: they finally accepted me as their leader gerri!

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: i think i need a hug… roman: good thing i’m hug shaped. *45 minutes later* gerri: you can let go now. roman: absolutely not.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: are we fighting or flirting? gerri: i’m pinning you against the wall with my hand around your neck- roman: so, flirting? gerri: *strangles him harder*

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

10 months

roman: on a scale from one to ten, you’re a nine and i’m the one you need. gerri: i’m a ten. roman: no, it’s a pick up li- gerri: i am a ten. roman: yeah fine, whatever, you’re right.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: thank fuck i didn’t send any drunk texts last night. gerri: you did. roman: what? gerri: you sent me a text saying “if you ever need a seat, my face is always available.” roman: oh, that wasn’t a drunk text.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: were you dropped on your head as a baby? roman: bold of you to assume i was even held.

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@romangerricrack

11 months

roman: when i think of you i touch myself. gerri: so do i. i touch my temples because you’re always giving me a fucking headache.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

11 months

*roman comes home drunk, takes his clothes off and stands in the middle of the bedroom* gerri: hi honey, you coming to bed? roman: no thank you. i’m sure you’re lovely but i have a really beautiful wife. roman: *lies on the floor* gerri, sobbing: *puts a blanket over him*

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: ok, i made a mistake. now are you going to help me fix it or are you going to keep shouting at me? gerri: trust me, i’m perfectly capable of doing both at the same time.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

7 months

roman: what’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? gerri, mumbling: you. roman: what? gerri: i said a cute animal i saw at the zoo.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: you fainted, do you remember anything? gerri: just the ambulance ride. roman: my driver drove us in the car. gerri: but i heard a siren? roman: that was me, i panicked.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

therapist: do you have any life goals? roman: one. roman: make my wife happy. gerri, crying in the corner: fucking allergies.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

10 months

roman: i’m jealous of your heart. gerri: why? roman: because it’s pumping inside of you and i am not.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

2 years

roman: do you think i’m more of an introvert or extrovert? gerri, not paying attention: definitely a pervert.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

10 months

roman: *crying* gerri: rome, what’s wrong? roman, sobbing: i still can’t believe you married me.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: it’s times like this i wish i listened to what gerri told me. shiv: well, what did she tell you? roman: i don’t know siobhan because i didn’t fucking listen!!

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

2 years

gerri: i lost my glasses. roman, staring at the glasses on top of her head: i’ll help you find them for $100.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: gerri called me pretty today. roman: well, she actually called me “pretty fucking annoying” but i’m choosing to only focus on the positives.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

11 months

gerri: i hate you. roman: well, according to this picture i drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

8 months

karl: you kissed roman?! gerri: i didn’t know what else to do! he had those big sad eyes! frank: well, sure, you had no choice.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

frank: *interrupts roman* roman: don’t interrupt me! gerri: *interrupts roman five seconds later* roman: go ahead babe, i’m listening.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

9 months

gerri: i’m going to take you out. roman: great, it’s a date! gerri: i meant that as a threat. roman: see you at five!

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: we have fun, don’t we baby? gerri: i have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: you often use humour to deflect trauma. roman: thank you. gerri: …i didn’t say that was a good thing. roman: what i’m hearing is, you think i’m funny.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

*at a family dinner* gerri: if someone hurt you i would ruin their life in every way possible. roman: if you said so, i would kill everyone in this room without a second thought. shiv: you know that normal couples don’t say these things to each other, right?

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman, throwing his head onto gerri’s lap: tell me i’m pretty. gerri, lovingly stroking his hair: you’re pretty fucking annoying is what you are.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

8 months

roman: we should get a puppy. gerri: i already have one.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri, visibly mad: roman, a word? roman: oh someone’s in troubleeeee. gerri: *raises her eyebrow* roman: shit it’s me, i’m the one in trouble.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

shiv: what colour are gerri’s eyes? roman: the colour of the sky when clouds finally part after an eternity of rain. shiv: what the fuck? roman: blue. i said blue!!

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

*meeting each other in a coffee shop* gerri, kissing roman: hi honey- roman, loudly: god gerri! we’re both married, show some respect. *everyone turns to look at them* gerri, hissing: i fucking hate you. roman: *grinning behind his coffee cup*

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman, doing a magic trick: pick a card, any card. gerri: *takes roman’s credit card*

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri, watching roman sleep: he’s my life, my love, my everything. he looks so peaceful while sleeping. i love him so much. roman: *snores* gerri: i can’t live like this.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: gerri, are you talking to yourself? gerri: yes. it’s the only way to have an intelligent conversation in this fucking house.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

karolina: got a hot date? gerri: no, but my husband does. roman: ugh stop flirting gerri, we have a whole dinner to get through.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: even small things can be a problem. roman: example? gerri: you. roman: i’m taller than you! gerri: barely.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: this is the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me! gerri: even more humiliating than- roman: let’s not do this!

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

karolina: what’s wrong with roman? gerri: he accidentally stepped on a ladybug and now he’s so heartbroken that he’s crying and cradling it’s dead body. gerri: i don’t have the heart to tell him it’s actually a red m&m.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

2 years

roman: and this is my ex girlfriend, gerri. gerri: roman, you have to stop introducing me to people like that. gerri: i’m his wife.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: pick your clothes up off the floor, roman. roman: why? it wasn’t me who put them there.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

karolina: that’s a pretty rock. roman: gerri gave me it. gerri: i threw it at you. roman: she’s very sweet.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: *smiles at roman* roman: *puts on sunglasses* roman: i didn’t know the earth had two suns.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

2 years

gerri: rome, where are you? roman, drunk: i got lost. gerri: i know that honey, can you tell me a street name? roman: no, but there’s a cloud that looks like a lion. gerri: could you be a bit more specific? roman: simba.

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@romangerricrack

2 years

therapist: so, would you say that you’re independent? roman: *looks at gerri* gerri: *nods* roman: yes.

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@romangerricrack

11 months

gerri: i’m a very mature person. i will always apologise if i’m wrong. roman: i’ve never heard you apologise. gerri: that’s because i’m never wrong.

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@romangerricrack

11 months

roman: if i went missing, you’d look for me, right? gerri: i wouldn’t have to. i’ve got you microchipped.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

11 months

roman: you love me right? gerri: yes. roman: what if i did something bad? i mean like really bad. gerri: what did you do? roman: will you still love me? gerri: WHAT. DID. YOU. DO??

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: you’re drunk. gerri: i am not. roman: what’s two plus two? gerri: mathematics. roman:

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@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: my biggest talent is being stress. shiv: do you not mean stressed? gerri: no, he does not.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

2 years

gerri: i keep a picture of you in my purse and whenever i’m feeling stressed i take it out and stare at it. roman: awww ger- gerri: and i tell myself “if i can deal with this idiot, i can deal with anything.”

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: you love me, right, roman? roman: normally i’d say yes without hesitation, but i feel like this is going somewhere and i don’t like it.

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@romangerricrack

2 years

gerri: we all have our problems. gerri: *grabs roman* this one’s mine.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: i never know what to say at funerals. gerri: just say “sorry for your loss” then move on. *later at the funeral* roman: sorry for your loss, move on.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

gerri: this is a hard escape room. roman: this is a family dinner.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

10 months

roman, texting gerri: i miss you :( gerri: i literally just walked out of the room. roman: i don’t care. i. miss. you.

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@romangerricrack

2 years

roman: i put a little note in your bag to tell you that i love you. gerri: *opens bag* gerri: this is a 10 page letter, rome. roman: yeah, i wanted to keep it brief.

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incorrectromangerri

@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: i’m such an idiot. gerri: roman: gerri: roman: gerri: if you’re waiting for me to disagree with you then you’re going to be sorely disappointed.

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@romangerricrack

1 year

roman: i can explain. gerri: can you? roman: if you give me 30 seconds to think of a lie.

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@romangerricrack

11 months

shiv: gerri thinks she’s like the fucking boss of you. roman, proudly: she is.

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@romangerricrack

8 months

gerri: *hugs roman from behind and softly kisses his neck* gerri: *whispers* hide my work phone again, and we're over.

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