ret @rad_milk Twitter profile

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@rad_milk

2 years

when someone offers me a scrumptious morsel, you know i’m on my “don’t mind if i do” type shit

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@write_tor

@Ix95vMV4x29A9y

@xforBless

@London_marcelo

@GopeshKhetan

@GamalMuham

@kagome_OS

@akanezora__ss

@q266603Kw7Gen

@soap_sadaharu

@trikuxabi

@sachikoex_1012

@cheer_ful_crepa

@midxri2nekx

@Alhamri2039676

@ioaceled

@coli_bebas

@EBDIMAANO

@mishacollins

@Superdavee1

@cox_erica25184

@twtmyat

@Essabouresly

@_Limoune

@zeroblack4545

@Gam_il72

@prest4n

@heid_bu

@LPstreamLatam

@INCLUDEplatform

@SpringGyration

@DaviMillsaps

@figueroa75001

@RichardALJones

@momo_queen12

@bab_102

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@rad_milk

3 years

the three branches of the government

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@rad_milk

2 years

america

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@rad_milk

3 years

i found a loophole

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@rad_milk

2 years

babies are like oh fuck yes dry cheerios in a zip lock bag holy shit this rules

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@rad_milk

3 years

check your kids halloween candy. my cousin found the assassination of archduke franz ferdinand in sarajevo by serbian nationalist gavrilo princip inside a snickers bar

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@rad_milk

2 years

deadass ong

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@rad_milk

2 years

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@rad_milk

3 years

god gives his earliest bedtimes to his tiredest sleepyheads

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@rad_milk

2 years

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@rad_milk

2 years

my male biological clock is ticking (i need to die in a war soon)

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@rad_milk

3 years

girls love the color pink so much because it is the color of ham

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@rad_milk

3 years

*snorts a line of coke* we gotta fucking teach them cursive

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@rad_milk

5 years

marge simpson calls her husband “homie” because he is her friend

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@rad_milk

3 years

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@rad_milk

5 years

BOSS: are you smoking weed here at work ME: relax it’s sativa you dumbass. you fucking moron

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@rad_milk

4 years

how did this not work @KendallJenner

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@rad_milk

3 years

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@rad_milk

6 years

thinking about spelling porno like “porneaux” to sound fancier. like get this: i’m jaquing off to porneaux

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@rad_milk

2 years

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@rad_milk

10 years

what if you added the letters S and E to the X files hahha. it would be the X-ES Files. haha excess files. way too many files lmao

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@rad_milk

3 years

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@rad_milk

3 years

watching dune as it was meant to be seen, on the shrek tv

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@rad_milk

6 years

on a mission to eat all 50 state birds

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@rad_milk

7 years

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@rad_milk

3 years

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@rad_milk

7 years

DATE: so tell me something about yourself ME: i am older than every dog

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@rad_milk

2 years

oh wow

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@rad_milk

3 years

my mom got me this loose leaf tea infuser that’s a little man who sits in your cup and has diarrhea

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@rad_milk

5 years

you’ve got a freak in me

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@rad_milk

7 years

doing my part to combat racism

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@rad_milk

9 years

barack: good morning michelle my wife michelle: hello obama

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@rad_milk

3 years

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@rad_milk

6 years

every time taco bell comes out with a new menu creation i gently shake my head and chuckle softly "taco bell you've done it again"

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@rad_milk

5 years

change my mind

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@rad_milk

6 years

if you wear glasses you have to cuss a lot so people know you aren't a nerd

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@rad_milk

3 years

holy shit

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@rad_milk

7 years

food for thought

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@rad_milk

2 years

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@rad_milk

6 years

[2068 AD] DAD: son last night your grandmother was canceled SON: nana took an L??? DAD: click hear to pay $4.99 to view funeral without ads

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@rad_milk

5 years

why was i late? um maybe because of my six step anti aging mens skincare moisturization regimen you idiot. you fucking moron

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@rad_milk

4 years

BERNIE: what should i wear for the inauguration WIFE: how about that jacket you wore for the meme BERNIE: ok

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@rad_milk

6 years

sigur ros is icelandic for sugar ray

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@rad_milk

6 years

if the earth is flat then why am i having such a ball

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@rad_milk

5 years

JIM CARREY: that adolf hitler guy, lemme tell ya, he sure was a goofball JAYDEN HITLER: now you hold on a damn minute sir

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@rad_milk

6 years

if you donate your body to science youre a nerd. im donating my body to football

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@rad_milk

2 years

if i’m in the hot tub and somebody starts to put carrots and onions in there i’m getting the fuck out. i saw the bugs bunny episode when they did that to him

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@rad_milk

8 years

don't assume someone's gender just because they are back in town

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@rad_milk

3 years

just a machine

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@rad_milk

6 years

in the 90s people were always worried about if there’s anchovies on pizza. i feel like that’s not really a big concern anymore

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@rad_milk

7 years

when you drink a red gatorade your pee comes out clear. so all the red stays in your body. this is what makes your blood the color it is

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@rad_milk

4 years

we should actually be paying double the rent because we’re staying inside so much

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@rad_milk

3 years

gave my cat lasagna and she didn’t give a fuck. that garfield is full of shit

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@rad_milk

6 years

[on a first date] so do you like to cuss

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@rad_milk

2 years

every gen z outfit is just 37 year olds fashion in 1994. lol nice slacks tim allen

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@rad_milk

3 years

me pulling up to the taco bell drive thru

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@rad_milk

6 years

a guy who only posts pics of his car unfollowed me on instagram after he commented "you are mentally ill" on a picture i posted of a golf ball i wrote "tennis" on

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@rad_milk

6 years

1973: smokin in the boys room 2018: vapin in the gender neutral restroom

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@rad_milk

6 years

uber driver showed up without a car. just told me to hop on. dude gave me a piggyback ride all the way to the 7 eleven. five stars

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@rad_milk

2 years

twitter in 2012: dubstep is gay twitter in 2022: it’s racist to eat chinese food

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@rad_milk

3 years

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@rad_milk

2 years

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@rad_milk

2 years

burger king carefully adding one single onion ring to your order of fries

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@rad_milk

3 years

where my nye sleepyheads at

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@rad_milk

5 years

WEED CLERK: would you like an indica or a sativa ME: uhhh (trying to remember the word Hybrid) lemme get the uhh non binary

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@rad_milk

9 years

i replaced babies in these pictures with hotdogs to show america what really matters

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@rad_milk

3 years

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@rad_milk

2 years

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@rad_milk

5 years

2 years since steve harvey brutally owned me on his show

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@rad_milk

6 years

i would have to say my absolute best quality is that i don't pretend to be affiliated with any hogwarts houses

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@rad_milk

5 years

ME: my grandma died and i am very sad THEM: actually she did a bad thing before so you aren’t allowed to be sad ME: you’re right. i’ve never thought about it this way before. i’m glad my grandma is dead now

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@rad_milk

6 years

horses are one of the only known mammals to have their own type of radish

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@rad_milk

3 years

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@rad_milk

4 years

i’m not fucking joking lmao

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@rad_milk

11 years

im watching pawn stars the show where the fat men are eachothers dads

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@rad_milk

6 years

sucks for santa claus that even though he’s immortal he has to live as an old ass fat ass bitch forever

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@rad_milk

5 years

earlier i identified something as Goals but upon further ivestigation i realized it was actually a Mood. and for this, i apologize

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@rad_milk

6 years

before rapping was invented people thought you could only sing or talk. they didn’t know there was a third thing

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@rad_milk

12 years

as a teen did you ever steal your moms booze and fill it back up with water, or steal money out of her purse and fill it back up with water

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@rad_milk

3 years

this scene from dawson’s creek is funnier than any comedy that could ever be written

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@rad_milk

3 years

women are wild, they’ll straight up ask a store employee where something is, it’s crazy

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@rad_milk

3 years

RIP the goat

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@rad_milk

7 years

(godfather voice) you come to me...during Ford Truck Month

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@rad_milk

3 years

hat jail

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@rad_milk

6 years

just won the pussy eating contest at the county fair

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@rad_milk

6 years

pistachios huh. what’s that like a vegan clam

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@rad_milk

5 years

finally

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@rad_milk

5 years

i can’t help but feel somewhat responsible for some of the stuff that i do

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@rad_milk

5 years

not to sound like a nerd who knows science or whatever but the ocean is technically soup

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@rad_milk

7 years

DAD: grandma died ME: dam she took an L lol DAD: what ME: whats good fam

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@rad_milk

3 years

wow ok donnie sheesh

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@rad_milk

2 years

never would have guessed

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@rad_milk

6 years

fuck marry kill: sexual babe, wife, mortal enemy

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@rad_milk

6 years

WOMAN NAMED CATHY: my name is cathy ME: ah yes short for catheter i presume

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@rad_milk

6 years

when my grandfather was sick in bed i would shave his legs for him. he didn't want me to but i did it still

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@rad_milk

6 years

me: white dads: arrive at the airport 1 year before your flight

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@rad_milk

10 years

women wearing veils at their wedding arent fooling anybody. you invited us to this shit we know its you under there. cut the crap lady

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@rad_milk

7 years

giving my wife a nice firm handshake before bed

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@rad_milk

6 years

growing up i knew this kid down the street whose family didn't celebrate toyotathon

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