Dabi: I want the death penalty
Judge: unfortunately we have something else in store for you. Rehabilitation.
Dabi: no
Judge: at home
Dabi: NO
Judge: handcuffed to your father for the next 8 months and then a lifetime on parole
Dabi: NOOOO
Kurogiri the true victim of bnha- died at age 17 and had to work as a full time bartender, nanny, teacher, maid, mom, chef and bodyguard ever since for no pay.
Toga: PLEASE I WANT SNACKS SO BAD TOMURA PLEASE 😭😩🙏💢💀
Tomura: fine. We need supplies anyway. Compress, Toga, Twice and Dabi go get supplies.
Dabi: why do I have to go
Tomura: because I want peace
Spinner: why don't I have to go
Tomura: because I want to play multiplayer
Enji: don't leave food out after dinner. We have a roach problem.
Fuyumi: what- how? No. Don't tell me-
Enji: we both didn't want to kill them so we cut open the box and threw it into the back yard
Fuyumi: those were giant hissing cockroaches
Dabi: yeahh it's pretty not great
Dabi: 10 feet. Just short enough to make me hate you somehow even more than I already do
Enji: I'm sorry. This is the only way I could keep them from sending you to prison or worse
Dabi: //trying to climb Enji like a rabid raccoon// THAT'S WHAT I WANTED YOU FUCKER
Dabi: I wanna use the bathroom alone
Enji: I'm sorry
Dabi: I can not live laugh or love in these conditions. We share everything. Even our therapist. I hate it here.
Enji: would you like to play uno again
Dabi: I fucking hate uno
Enji:
Dabi: yes. get the cards.
Enji: okay
Officer: //handcuffing Dabi & Enji together// these are tamper proof and 10 ft long. You'll wear them and your ankle monitor at all times until the court orders their removal
Dabi: the smallest bathroom in our house has a door that's 15 ft from the toilet
Officer: that's tragic
Enji: Shoto set up a visitation appointment for every Friday
Dabi: Friday isn't good I don't like it
Enji: why?
Dabi: because Friday and every day of the week that ends with "y" this house is a Shoto-free zone
Enji: he wants to see you
Dabi: he can see my mugshot 24/7 online
Enji: I was confused when I overheard you say that so I asked Shoto what you meant and he said to buy you a box of hissing roaches as pets because you probably missed roaches because you lived in dumpsters... That's what he said..
Dabi: woww fuck you too, Shoto
Tomura in USJ: what the fuck Sensei. He said this was a school full of hero kids not the buffest 14 year olds in Japan. Why are they all ripped. They don't even have any facial hair yet. They look like toddlers with abs. I don't even have abs. I want to go home.
Shoto: did he like the roaches
Enji: you're not going to believe it.. but he does not love roaches
Shoto: what
Enji: he loves weed
Shoto: he loves weeds?
Enji: no he loves drugs
Shoto: what does drugs have to do with roaches and weeds
Enji: I think we made a mistake
Dabi: so I'm just suppose to bathe with you? Eat with you? Sleep with you?
Enji: You can do all of those things alone so long as they're within ten feet of me.
Dabi: "alone" alright lemme just jack off "alone" ten feet away from you. Ten feet ain't shit now is it.
Enji: ...💀
Dabi://slurred// I wanna break into my house and shnort my own ashhees
Toga: hehe what the fuck
Tomura: leave him be he's on something
Dabi: cut it up into lines on my... The glass of my picture frame yeuh
Spinner: 🧍 god if this isn't just the league of mental illness