The Housing Mafia @onlyzeno Twitter profile

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

5 years

Women always posting they want intelligent men. When I approach them, they discover they prefer handsome men.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

10 months

Dear @DuncanAbigaba I am obsessed with you for a reason. You I consider you family. We share too many mutual friends and acquaintances. Heck your younger brother was under my wing for his O level and I believe I taught him well. Let me tell you a story about the NRM.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

9 months

January chicken is here.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

Sentenced to death in 2 countries. For the small crime of treason. He died of old age a freeman. With corresponding bullet scars to show. Hosted a president to dry tea and G nuts in his home because his wife didn't believe he knew the man.

Miss.ayo.artss

@madamayo_

1 year

Brag about your DAD

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

A bedroom in Kyanja. Light meets lighting.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

The rule of buying cars in Uganda is crazy. You buy the tax and get the vehicle as a Bonus...

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

Dear dad. I turned 35 years old today. Of course I expected to last this long. The days of my youth are gone but I hope I have learnt lessons to take me through the seas I still sail. I am on my bed suffering from something that describes the folly of my youth. Ulcers

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

4 months

We have someone who did this in Uganda.

Creepy.org

@creepydotorg

4 months

Buster the dog goes from black to white over 2.5 years due to rare genetic condition.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

The bathrooms they want to pay at 350,000 per month.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

Just a random Kitchen. In Kyanja. Jomayi Estate

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

10 months

An PM of Uganda had his daughter married to the son of a President. The President of Tz has a sister married in Uganda. One of the richest men in Kenya has his daughter married to one of the richest Ugandans. These things happen very easily when you don't ask for transport.

chris praise

@chrispraise15

10 months

The daughter of the Ex-IGP of Uganda got married to the son of the Ex-IGP of Rwanda. @AaronsMwesigye

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 months

Good morning @NelsonSsenyange They stole a Police Land Cruiser with digital number plates. From a Police station. End of story.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

Gossip is very heavy to carry. Be appreciative...

Mwiza Sophy 🇺🇬🇷🇼

@MwizaSophy

2 years

Isn't it rude to visit someone empty handed ??? Could be a friend, partner or even a relative.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

The people of Kapchorwa teaching us that gold doesn't have to be grabbed from Congo to be valuable...

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

I own 87 boda bodas. Since curfew last year, Police have impounded and released 54 of them on bond/bribe of 100k. Needless to say, it is no longer a viable business option. The hidden costs of doing business in Uganda????

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 months

Bruh you had hips and man boobs, we never confused for a woman. WTF?

James Onen | FATBOY

@jamesonen

2 months

Wait are you sure that Algerian boxer ain't a dude? This is a man's physique. Now I'm seriously confused 🥴

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

8 months

Bundle of Joy after paying 2.5m, the ROI is here.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 months

Zangano

@darknuelisfy

3 months

What is “beauty” ?

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 months

It is my duty to individually harass you at every opportunity I get. You led to the closure of Facebook for your ego and cost me a livelihood. If I ever have a chance in future to repay that debt. No lows I won't stoop to.

Duncan Abigaba

@DuncanAbigaba

2 months

@DrOtileUg It is our civic duty to harass those who are fcuking up our country! Simple but consistent harassment can have an impact.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

Today Parliament elects a speaker. Acholi has 102 votes. Okot P'Bitek is standing. Let us see if he will get that number of votes since they want the position ringfenced for them. Let us see if all this talk isn't just a diversion for them to keep eating crumbs.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

I want to meet @EstherBirungi4 she is the ultimate definition of I will do anything for money.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

10 months

From childhood I have been a carpe diem guy. I ended up in Nairobi with Ugx. 10k. I found guys at Kyadi drinking beer, I tapped. At midnight the bus arrived. They assumed I was part of them. Off we went. No one suspected I was fluking.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

When a Ntare OB steals Government money and builds apartments...

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

8 months

South Sudan. Never have I been in a country where my appearance is just accepted without explanation. Everyone looks like me.

Uncle Dödós

@salubewynn

8 months

Which African country would you trade your Ugandan citizenship for?

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

8 months

Dear @ZeeroBrain and @BuniChristopher I have been meaning to write to you but eh. Eh. Things have been so tough. Never have I been in a hole that required me to use my phone book and reach out to strangers extensively to solve what usually are penny problems. Been cooking as

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

When do you know me meets who are you.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

A guy looking at the compound from the sitting room. Wooden floor tiles, high ceiling and French windows...

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

10 months

Can't Uganda be like Blu 3. 1 from the west. 1 from the East. 1 from West Nile (North) They sing in Luganda. Just full representation.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

4 years

My name is Zeno Othieno Owora. My Polling station is in Kampala. I voted NUP. Where is the tribalism?

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

5 months

Dear dad. If I knew it, I would say it then. Alas I only speculated. I love the history because it is already said and makes life uncomplicated. When you revisit it the trouble rises. Up to two years ago, life was simple. I wanted to be as far away from you as I could.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 months

Now can we get down to the work done by the two?

Viola_ishabiire

@ishabiire

3 months

Minister of Energy in Namibia 🆚 Uganda. #UgandaVsNamibia

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

I was in 2nd year, in a girl's room when a man pulled over with his car to take the damsel out. Needless to say I was left there. Now it is my turn, they are changing goalposts. Nedda. Nedda. Mutulekemu.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

I have never met you. Never think I will need to in this life. 2 things in this life I can say as an X Judge: 1. Your taste in men is really poor. 2. Your dopamine sensors really struggle.

MISHELINE

@Mutuzo_M

1 year

That Sunday hit differently! My hatred for that short man is very very justified!!!!!!!!

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

The USD is at 3500. The strongest our shilling has been in a while. Fuel prices keep soaring and soaring... We buy fuel in USD. WTF

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 months

But sir. You work for Government of Uganda so did your father. You are the one who is the leader my leader.

Buni - The Investorpreneur

@BuniChristopher

3 months

How can our leaders not want this for us? This is a train station at 9pm, with people comfortably seating waiting for the train. No dirt, no guns in sight

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 months

Dear @ivan_magomu Don't appeal that judgement. Let us see who the real cowards and sell outs are? Let us see, let us sit by the riverbank and watch the bodies float.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

8 months

If she attends SMACK league, brother move on. Cancel talking or whatever stage. Move on.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

6 months

I feel Mutuzo and Buni are better off in a room together. They seem to want it so bad we are the ones obstructing the view. I am sure they will have no setback getting to a comprehensive agreement.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

4 months

Kale I remember when Male Mabirizi contested that marriage in court. He was trying to save our man. The man didn't listen. Kati laaba byalimu.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 months

But Duncan IAM: More Educated Polished Enlightened. Exposed. Articulate. The only merit you have over me is your tribe as regards the jobs you have done for the Gov of Uganda. I will wait here till you prove me wrong.

Duncan Abigaba

@DuncanAbigaba

2 months

@onlyzeno With South Sudan as your model, you’re headed for greatness 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

9 months

Dear Emily. You know whenever I take to a rugby field, it is a special time for me. I have played many sports with varying levels of success. I have picked more chess and table tennis medals than any in rugby. I spend more afternoons picking up on a court, I have run a good

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

8 months

In Uganda it is difficult to recreate these images. Our life expectancy won't just allow it.

Then vs Now

@ThenvsNowPic1

8 months

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

8 months

600 years on. Harvard, Eton, Yale, Oxford, MIT don't need annex campuses. Another hare brained idea. Truth is no one wants to go to KCB - Luteete campus. Look at MACOS and her Mulawa campus. Not a brilliant idea.

DBwambale

@TheMutaD

8 months

Namirembe Diocese schools such as King's College, Budo and Mengo SS are reported to need more land to open new campuses. Should be a worthwhile experiment having 1,000-2,000 Budonians unleashed on unsuspecting members of the public each year, but I digress. The new locations?

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

9 months

$20m later Premium tears.

The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

Everytime I see this man, I know a scam is loading nearby. Everytime like clockwork. Why is MK movement full of big names with entirely empty backgrounds? Men who you think have made it but have no merit?

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

7 months

Today Patience Museveni was addressing an army gathering as who???????????????????

The Commodore

@silwaxxy

7 months

Ok as a neutral person, why does Bobi carry his kids to those opposition meetings...... it's the small things that count ......

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

5 years

Uganda is funny... 2:00p.m i am at my Kafunda in Banda having a beer, then an argument breaks out on whose kafunda is better... 8:30 We are at his kafunda. In Fort Portal.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

10 months

I don't know if it is consolation or something but be handsome if you can.

Eliotsy Jewels 🇺🇬

@nahxJewel

10 months

STOP taking Pride in being Handsome! Being a man has alot to do with Hardwork, Integrity, Courage and Purpose. Level Up! Let that sink in.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

4 years

Because I am the Housing Mafia

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

10 months

I am not in anyway scaring you but I have seen this story many times. I wanted it not to be your way for you are a simple country boy. Alas it is now your fate. I will help but you are on your own good sire...

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

If you are for the streets, you will receive street food. If you want a good woman be a good man.

Son Of The Soil

@IsaacRujumba

1 year

Fight me if you must. Wife material women are going extinct soon. We will be left with girls that sleep with whichever person in their sex circle received their salary most recently.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

When you reach Congo and you have to blend in.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

Damn I am that guy.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

20 days

Dear @TheMutaD Never has a new word excited me like this one. I wanted to call you but I suspect you are very busy and I am very idle. Never a good combination for gossip. MERETRICIOUS. Have a seat. Let me tell you a long story. This has been the definition of what I

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

5 months

Every state and nation has its original sin. Uganda is classism. People are so obsessed with "ghetto" rich. The 1st word I learnt in Luganda was Bukopi. The 1st word I learnt in Runyankore was Mukoko. Explains the poor pay we subject each other to.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

7 months

Be punctual. Keep time. Be where you are supposed to be at the agreed time. Just keep time.

ManCaveUG

@ManCaveUg

7 months

Men who are over 30: Give one piece of advice to men who are in their 20s. It can be about anything. Shoot.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

Everytime I see this man, I know a scam is loading nearby. Everytime like clockwork. Why is MK movement full of big names with entirely empty backgrounds? Men who you think have made it but have no merit?

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

Spacious Kitchen. Gerenge.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

A move so good, Maguire had no choice but to put icing on the cake.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

Daily reminder to avoid poor people and their descendants.

Mwiza Sophy 🇺🇬🇷🇼

@MwizaSophy

3 years

Girlfriend allowance is very important. Small small entering the salon and the bill is 250k plus 😩😩😩

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

6 months

Ogambye container ebadde kyi?

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

8 days

Uganda has had 8 Presidents. Those who were army men: Mutesa Amin Okello Olara Okello Lutwa Museveni. Civilians: Obote Lule Binaisa. Though the military men have always had a long time, it has never been good. It is the short civilian times that spurt growth.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

MIAMI HEAT TO THE BOSTON CELTICS.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

6 months

We just dragged Kyambogo to the international round of the Zain Africa Challenge for the only time in history. We lost at the round of 64. Had fun and made many geeky and nerdy friends. Still the best minds to consult on a wide range of issues from fashion to marine biology.

Adam

@stfuayen

6 months

it's 4pm in 2010. What are you doing?

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 months

Rugby is a game we participate in from our own goodwill and time. @ivan_magomu is allowed to freely express his political opinion. The management of NCS directly affects him and his welfare as a sportsperson.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

Finally a meal after a whole weekend of well weekending

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 months

Praising M7 all the time makes you a social climber... Have I been clear?

Madam CEO 🇺🇬

@JackieAkampwera

3 months

There’s a big difference between social climbing and networking! Once we understand the difference then you can continue with ‘okusika oluseke’ trend without being misinterpreted. So who are social climbers?

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

7 months

Dear @mayanja_judy At this point, many people are weighing in on the Marvin issue. I am sure NCS have their point of view since the head is an OB he will give the verdict you expect. I mean the National Team Manager has given his side. The VP FUFA will also give his side.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

When you are a wedding guest and you see a cute bridesmaid.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

7 months

I want to thank @RwandaRugby250 for being great hosts. Gave us a good game and a greater meal. To the men I always trust, thank you. @ntare_league we always better our best. The first tour was a massive responsibility pulled off, onto better. CC: Rwanda rugby.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

10 months

Tunyuke... The ICC T20 is a wrap. We are going to the World cup...

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

10 months

People go abroad: Work. School afford. The kids on holiday, the Banyankore think by educating the kids abroad they will survive the bad country they have created. FYI my father went to school abroad after Primary school my grandpa for Uni They died sad, poor & beaten

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

How can someone who can't differentiate soup and pudding, scone and a bun, toppings and helpings, bread and meat knife complain about a place. Gourmet meals just like couture fashion are discerning. You wonder why we always just invite you for Bikalayi. Eyo level yamwe...

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

Banyankore and people from Western Uganda are the ones who find Muhoozi knowledgeable and able to replace his father. They find the rest of us resistant to such an idea as stupid regardless of the fact that we are rapidly balkanising...

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

Thanks to @sc_kalele the package has arrived. A good harvest.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 month

First. Uganda has only 1 problem. The rest are resulting problems..

Anthony Natif

@TonyNatif

1 month

How do you fix the country? That’s the question you are failing to answer and are instead saying I’m seeking cheap popularity. Simply tell us what you plan on doing differently. Can’t be too hard for you to say, seeing as you’re confident about “fixing our country”.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

4 months

You think because you are born in poverty you are more honest, patriotic and self aware?

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

3 years

When God made the Luo, he said the Mercedes shall be your chariot. We also know the G Class is what a Luo man shall restore.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 months

For 10,000 metres the debate is sealed. Olympic record. World Record. Joshua Cheptegei.. The Greatest of All Time.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

7 months

Top lad. Played for Kobs on Friday. Took a quick hop to spend time with his real mates. Gave us a monster of a game on Saturday. True spirit of the Lion. Always turn up ready for the task at hand.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

10 months

This is the first man I have seen accusing Ntare boys of speaking nice English.

Peter Classic Nvigyi

@PNvigyi

10 months

Also what did the KCB, Ntare and Kigezi high school educated old boys who spoke proper English do for the common man? They spoke proper English as the country tanked. But at least they wore nice voop and walked with swagger.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

9 months

This Ugandan team need to launch their girlfriends right now so that we know whom they are playing to ashame.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

7 months

Moi was a master of politics. At the end of his regime the negotiations happened at Mt. Elgon hotel in Mbale. The mediators were both relatives. The conversations they had. Freeing political prisoners. Appointing younger cadres. Uganda is going the Bashir way.

Mujuni Raymond

@qataharraymond

7 months

In real transition terms; Uganda can either be Kenya at Moi’s end or Sudan at Bashir’s end. The shocking part is we don’t realise how close we are to either scenario.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

9 months

All this because you didn't get your share. I can comfortably state you actually do nothing for coffee. Nothing outside patronage. You fucking NRM leeches.

Madam CEO 🇺🇬

@JackieAkampwera

9 months

By 2025, the whole truth will be out but unfortunately the country won’t be able to even recover $1 or export one container! If the cafes were not opened with Shs 9.6B, then what can $37B do? Even that big city in Ntinda closed, just like Ntungamo Factory will close. Nti Che

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

That is why you are still limited to survival. I am hard to deal with but you are a good piece of entertainment. Carry on. I enjoy the drama. I can subscribe and pay anytime you are ready to do that.

MISHELINE

@Mutuzo_M

1 year

@onlyzeno Wwwhhaatttt???😭😭😭😭 What will I do?? How will I survive 🚮🚮🚮

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

is precious. No one asks you to do the same thing twice unless you are the absolute best at what you do. Even then someone will take your place in the shortest time possible. Being a father is precious. Just choose a kind person to do it with.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

21 days

I was at a burial, this woman sure I can't speak Luganda goes. Eh omusajja alina omumwa. Mukazzi we NGA akyigudeko. I have been giggling non-stop. It is just funny how she said it, I can't control myself.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

Komamboga Kyanja. 1 bedroom at 450,000 2 bedrooms at 650,000. Call 0700814932.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

7 months

I am sorry but you now know how we feel when you mismanage FUFA and UPL that we are forced to follow beer leagues. Bulyomu akole byayagala.

Shawn Mubiru

@ShawnMubiru

7 months

What does Kira Municipal Council do for its residents? The political leaders that yawned for power and positions come back to us telling us how they don’t get funds and have no power. Leaders in Kira also want to be led by their voters. Me: 🫢

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

15 days

House for sale in matuga kavule mwererwe plot size is 50*70 money needed 17m. Buy now regret later.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

Naah even my mom never says that.

The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 year

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

I have a feeling we weren't celebrating the Bowl win. We were celebrating beating Germany. It had become a mental hurdle we were struggling to overcome.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

8 months

Bruh. They are in the semifinals? In the same vein Uganda should stick to what exactly????

Arnold Black

@AtukundaArnold

8 months

South Africa should stick to rugby man🚮

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

The Face I needed to become Vipers Head Coach.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 month

Come on. Come on. Come on. That is the weakest excuse in the book. You think you are some kind of expensive mantelpiece that can't be dusted by a rug?

Sheilla F. Kanyima

@FreddyMyLov3

1 month

The men saying they'd never date such women who dance on stage with artistes, ask yourself if those women would even look your way 😂Also why are you pained by the decisions of an adult you don't know & doesn't even care for your existence ? 😂

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 years

Collecting debt in Kampala isn't for the faint hearted. I have noticed many people call me to deal with bad debtors, I seem to have discovered a new talent. I couldn't have nurtured it earlier in life since I had nothing to lend out so I never had to collect.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 month

Mbale Elephants threatened to have day 2 not played. A Union official hurried to the car and came back with 5.1m in cash and handed it over. Unaudited. Guess Gulu and Mbarara we should receive double. The money is there, the will to give isn't.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

2 months

Yesterday @Faizafabz was fired up and fiery. She was pushing us to #March2Parliament . Today she is an unwarranted visitor of the state. It could be you or me. The similarity is telling.

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

1 month

And for the next 25 weeks, my Sunday spot. The return of the @ntare_league

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The Housing Mafia

@onlyzeno

4 months

I am so done with Kampala. I am getting a boda to Gulu. I will use roadside bodas. Take a boda from Kawempe to Matugga. Leap on the next like that till I reach Gulu. This city is very constraining. Time to test how far Bodas have evolved.

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