@miniiwoww
@0ppilum
yeahβ¦ when I tried to recover it ultimately failed bc in the back of my mind the body i had kept slipping further away and I didnβt want to lose it
restricting for so long has given me gastroparesis. learned this bc after trying to eat βnormallyβ before my intake appointments i threw everything up bc my digestive system no longer works.
i feel so torn everyday between recovering and enjoying college to the full extent, or just spiraling completely when i finally live alone. i feel embarrassed to bring an ed to college and my roommates, but Iβve also sacrificed my identity to this disorder atp
seeing the number on the scale drop or having new clothes grow too big is such an addicting feeling. like i used to not comprehend addiction but now I donβt think i can ever recover when the high I feel from growing smaller is so intense