man-eater @ohrooj Twitter profile

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

this is so fucking funny i’m literally i’m literally in hysterics rn

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@ohrooj

1 year

fucked around in turkey and told a taxi driver we were architecture students turns out he’s also an architect we spent the whole day w him, became besties, video call him now while straight up living a lie this whole time now he’s asking me to share my portfolio w him 😭😭😭

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

at that stage in my love life where even my parents are concerned about me saying beta agar koi he to milwa do like no abba agar koi he to aap mila dein

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

gave a kid my ice cream and he said Allah apko bachay de now i’m too scared to have sex kahin uski dua na lag jaye

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

guys this a new kind of L 😭😭😭

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

blew a really massive bubble at my desk at work n then it popped all over my face n my boss said is this what they teach u at lums 😭😭😭😭

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

going to the saddar passport office is truly such a humbling experience mein madarchod hoon jo ismein aya

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

i cannot stop thinking of the countless situations i’ve been in where i’ve been afraid to say no to a man because of what the consequences might be, how all my initial sexual encounters were a result of coercion because i was so scared of pissing them off, of making them angry

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

take as many pictures of your friends as you can you never know when u might need to send them on the fam group chat as evidence that ur with ur friends and not out on a j drive w a man u met off bumble

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

omg i’m going on my first date w this guy tomorrow n he just told me it’s his bday shud i cancel i’m STRESSED

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

spent a fortune on my literature degree, pulled multiple all-nighters to perfect my thesis only to walk into work on monday and be asked to think of start up related halloween puns for a post copy

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

efe i’m sorry i love u u deserve better ur the best man i’ve ever met sorry we told u we built a bridge in pakistan

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

not my bf telling me he finds strands of my hair at his place literally every single day sorry babe it’s how i leave my mark

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

me @ the man sitting next to me at joyland who had his tongue down his gfs throat during the first half n only looked up at the movie during the scene when they’re taking a pic w da bear at joyland n said wo dekho lums ki burger aulad

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

who’s gonna tell him bro

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

in tears telling my mom how depressed i am n she goes like chalo kuch nahi koi boy pakar lo .

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

dengue has made me so conservative no more shorts and hoe tops for me no sirrr i will be fully covered head 2 toe

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

who wanna go on a soup date w me we just go to a rlly nice place and try every soup on the menu

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

guys everyone in f1 can hear someone wailing and crying really loudly around 5am and the sound doesn’t decrease in volume no matter where u go it’s been happening a few nights in a row hamari to phatt rahi he

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

i love that we call our dorm ghar and that we live communally like a family i love coming back to my room after a tiny trip to the superstore on my way back from class and telling my roomies look what i got for us and watching them getting so excited over a box of tissues

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

forgot my antibiotics at home so i ordered them off pandamart n i was like hmmm 600 is a bit steep for flagyl but YA’LL THEY SENT ME AN ENTIRE ASS BOX OF 200 TABLETS pharmacy khol loon mein to

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

i pulled out my charger from my bag and 2 sticks of raw fell out n every1 turned to look bcos i slipped off the chair as i tried to pick them up rlly fast n long story short my entire office knows i’m a charsi

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

the pool of men in khi ain’t a pool it’s a croc infested moat

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

khi sky today is wildin

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

not my waxing wali telling me my septum is gunnah and that they used to make wild dangerous animals wear them in the past 😭😭 homie while u have a knife in ur hand and hot wax near my coochie i will forever agree w anything u gotta say

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

i took a massive hit of my vape just as my dad came to feed me a bite of halwa and i had to pretend i was mad abt being bothered so he wouldn’t see the fact that i was holding in a huge puff of smoke

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

i feel like i’ve set the bar too high, i’ve gone my entire life without dating, have hyped it up so much now i can’t just get into a rs with someone mediocre it will b so underwhelming

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man-eater

@ohrooj

7 months

gm

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

no man worth waking up at 10am for a bfast date on a saturday

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

if i so hot why i still single

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

i’m doing this new thing where i reply to compliments from men with “thanks i’m aware” watching men get triggered by a confident woman is the most amusing thing in the world

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

crying in the shower bcos of how much i’m gonna miss the water pressure

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man-eater

@ohrooj

6 months

only pakistani men will fucking chase you down a street in thailand to tell you they matched with you on bumble last year and expect u to remember them

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

hm who else bitchless on valentine's day

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man-eater

@ohrooj

7 months

the sexual tension when me n the coworker i hooked up w on my work trip are on the same google doc at the same time

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

should i block my fam from my insta and post all my nakey vacay pix

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

just spun the most elaborate lie to my parents so i could go to the beach at 1am and the layers to this narrative are so insane they wouldn’t even know what to question…i ain’t a storyteller for nothing

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

don’t go to lums because one day u will have to leave and it will absolutely break u haha

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

love hoodie weather so i can go everywhere braless

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

was fully ready to wfh today but now my ass is hauling itself to the office cos they said they r ordering pizza for lunch …

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

all the ppl wearing shades at this valima i kno u hungover af i feel u

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

everyone plz do ijtimai dua that i find my vibrator bohat tension horahi he

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

tell me u work at a startup without saying u work at a startup: walked into work this morning in a t-shirt with a blazer on top and four people asked me “is that a blazer you’re wearing?????”

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

karachi has no business being this brrrrrr

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

went to work, went to the gym, smoked a j, read a book, ate dessert, drank green tea, jerked off - now what?

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

same mood tbh

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

tell me how i got talked into going to cycling at seaview at 6 fucking am in the morning on my iqbal day chutti

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

the debater to consultancy pipeline is so toxic fr

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

Alhamdullilah for never having been a debate kid

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

imagine going to a movie with ur parents and bumping into your ex on a date n having ur ex say salam to ur parents n introduce u to his date 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

i don’t know how many more “i don’t know what i want but i’d like to see where this goes” i have left in me

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

they should make a device that automatically removes your make up and does ur skincare for u i’m too lazy to take my make up off

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

idk how to curl my hair so my dad does it for me. when i was young he used to braid my hair and everyone at school used to be so impressed and assume my mom did it but suhail is my real hero

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

please for the love of god not another talking stage

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

walked into the drawing room at my aunts house, the temperature was significantly lower than the rest of the house, the air felt heavier so i said the vibes are off and turns out they actually are 😭😭😭

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man-eater

@ohrooj

7 months

went to a dinner party from hell today (everyone in my age group was either married or engaged)

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

there is not a single day that has passed that i do not begin and end with all too well

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man-eater

@ohrooj

8 months

the kind of *** i’ve been having on my work trip has set feminism back by a hundred years i think

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

i want to punch malalas husband in the face for no other reason except that he looks like a chutiya

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

@mirzamalist i’m going to have to for the rest of my life

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

not my 27 yr old cousin callin me up during work and saying hey i matched w this white guy on bumble named jack can u match w him n tell me if he’s a catfish or not pls. like hello first of all u r talking to a white guy named jack. on. bumble.

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

my dad will talk abt smth haram he did back in the day then quickly say but of course it was just to try it out

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

guys i just want u to ignore the rs part of my tweets for a little while this is the first time in my life this is happening n i’m rlly enjoying it so plz just indulge me i know it’s cringe n just say MA bcos im rlly happy‼️

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

it’s so funny how u can keep drinking to no effect n then u take like 4 sips of td and ur on the floor struggling to remember ur own name

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

told my boss that the only reason i reached work on time this morning was because by the time my 10th alarm rang my cat got all up in my face and started meowing at me really aggressively n she said we shud pay ur cat 😭😭😭

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

not my sister packing for lums taking the same suitcase i used in my freshman year and then every year since till now. god talk abt nostalgia

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

not me putting on 3 layers of clothes to go outside n smoke a j on my balcony …

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

nothing prepares u for the amount of depression when u come back to pakistan after vacation like why do we live in a literal shithole

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

why is he not replying to me why is he busy doing smth that’s not me 😡😡😡

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

i hate getting used to someone’s presence in my life like lift nah karao to behtar he

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

if i combined the personalities of the 3 men i’m seeing right now i would end up with my dream man ‼️

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

kinda hoping my boss fires me before i reach the point of quitting...shes joking abt it so much these days who knows

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

not my mom showing me rishta profiles n then saying kya hota he baat karke discard karlo larka hi to he

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

highkey want to start a bookstagram

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

SOMEONE LEGIT STOLE MY TWEET AND PUT IT IN THEIR BUMBLE BIO LIKE LEGIT WORD TO WORD

man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

who wanna go on a soup date w me we just go to a rlly nice place and try every soup on the menu

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

i cannot wait to get my boobs molded today by the same person who’s hands touched cardi b’s titties

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

i find this soup slander so deeply offensive

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

seasonal depression or just straight up mental illness? u decide

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

how do we as women heal from this? where do we go from here?

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

idc what anyone says i’m not over lums and maybe a small part of me never will be i swear i would give anything to be back there even for another semester

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

why do babies need shoes? where are they going?

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

just got told my job was permanent in the most casual way possible when it came up in relation to a convo abt hiring ppl for the project team now that i’ve become a permanent member of the team and i CANNOT stop smiling everyone say MA

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

“is mercury in the microwave or smth what the fuck is happening”

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

just had the most difficult breakup of my life (resigned)

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

thinking abt loneliness a lot these days, the particular kinds of loneliness- their textures, the way they feel how the feeling can be evoked in so many different situations, contexts. what diff kinds of loneliness have u felt before?

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

i have so many cute date ideas but no all men wanna do is go on j drives so they can try to put their hands down my pants :-)

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

i used to give myself so much shit for not being able to say no but this is just a reminder of how valid my fear was, and how real it is

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

not me stumbling home drunk out of my mind to my dad saying i smell like spirit - i was like oh it’s prob my perfume 😭😭😭😭😭

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

there ain’t no way to know if he thinks abt me as much as i think abt him 🤧🤣 down bad fr

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man-eater

@ohrooj

10 months

i’m lookin so cute at work yet there is not a single attractive man here…this workplace doesn’t deserve me

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

i will rlly regret smoking this i before bed when i wake up in da morning n waltz into work at 10am w my boss saying u rlly need to fix ur timings urooj

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

i have potential but not drive so it’ll always just be wasted potential

KAZWAL

@DJKAZWAL

1 year

Most painful realization about yourself?

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

do you think men that don’t drink for religious reasons are open to having sex

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

“she’s hot but she’s a furry” - overheard at my workplace

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

imagine getting broken up with via voice note 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 could never be me...haha

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

✅ hook up with a stranger at a bar ✅ get a tattoo ✅ get ID’d twice at a club ✅ get into a bar fight ✅ almost miss all ur flights, have ur name called out thrice at 2 different airports vacay bucket list complete

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man-eater

@ohrooj

1 year

if ya’ll think i’m a sentimental fucker u shud meet my dad, he dead ass said oh this is the last time we are boiling water in this house like dawg we r moving 2 doors down is it rlly that serious ?

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

lums fee coming up to 4.4 lacs per semester w triple occupancy hostel. i’m horrified, how will my parents afford to send my sister to uni for the next three years. in this economy???

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man-eater

@ohrooj

3 years

“kuch bachodi karte hein” aka let’s prank call shamo*n isma*l only to realize we’ve done this so many times he has 4/6 of us blocked

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man-eater

@ohrooj

2 years

why r u as my self proclaimed man not liking every single picture i post of myself on my story

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