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@ocksportello

1,140
Followers
356
Following
542
Media
8,510
Statuses

acclaimed blogger

new orleans
Joined October 2020
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
4 days
rich gang tha tour pt. 1 turns 10 years old tomorrow. i used the occasion to write about the record, the alternate realities it implies, and the heartbreak of the reality we inhabit
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 months
basketball fandom is increasingly becoming the socially acceptable version of being, like, a furry
@KlayMuse10
Klay Thompson Muse
3 months
This fanbase is amazing couldn’t ask to be on a better team. This is home❤️
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
yorgos playing emma stone josh hart minutes he is a terrorist
@DiscussingFilm
DiscussingFilm
5 months
Emma Stone and Jesse Plemons will officially star in Yorgos Lanthimos’ next movie ‘BUGONIA’ with Focus releasing the film next year. The film follows 2 conspiracy-obsessed men who kidnap a major CEO, convinced that she is an alien intent on destroying Earth. (Source: Deadline)
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 months
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@KnicksCentral
Alex B.
3 months
This is why Isaiah Hartenstein was not smart for leaving the Knicks for the short term money
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
every night in the western conference playoffs there’s a spiritual battle between aura and the european slob menace. every night in the east they recreate the scene in 2001 when the monkeys learn violence
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
kyrie irving retweeting nathan j robinson is the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
4 months
because no one else will, I wrote about aura, the vaguely homoerotic, nebulous concept that’s become the most prized attribute on NBA twitter
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
7 months
beautiful comment on a NYT article about dating apps!
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 months
lebron ruining his son’s life to demonstrate his power is so beautiful
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
4 months
⭐️Perfectly Imperfect ⭐️ #448 : DONALD J. TRUMP
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
4 months
congratulations to the israel of the NBA
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
the nba playoffs are a prisoners dilemma rn. every playoff fanbase is investing energy into them, when what we need to be doing is forming a unified front in mickey mousing this season before the celtics win a title. it’s unfortunate
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
Good Evening, "The Brooklyn Nets" were a 24 month sociological study conducted by Harvard University. We are now complete with our study. Thank you for your time
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
the best part about this is they’re both nominally talking about the crackdowns on pro-palestine protests but kyrie really means “it’s illegal to be a youtube guy” and nathan really thinks “they tried to kill me for having too much swag”
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 years
well the dinwiddie trade went down like many a dinwiddie lob: taking too long, missing deandre jordan completely, and making me scream at my tv
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
@willceltics2000 on the mavs: did luka let kyrie down after epic comeback? on the nets: amid playoff campaign, kyrie's refusal to condemn hamas a deafening silence
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
9 months
why tf is my public defender listening to rx papi
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
just saw someone wearing this jersey in court
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
11 months
McDonalds Charge they phone Twerk Be bisexual Eat hot chip Lie
@IraHeatBeat
Ira Winderman
11 months
The lane of the Heat’s new culture court.
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
essay on the 2010s rappers crashing out into irrelevance as the 2010s nba superstars are booted from the playoffs
@nobellsblog
no bells 🔕
5 months
this beef has felt less like artists fighting for the throne and more like the supernova of an era
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
Himsanity
@TrillBroDude
Subscribe to the You Know Ball Patreon
2 years
Cam Thomas is Linsanity for hoopers
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
this is the type of bit that i'd conjure up after 4-5 sleepless nights
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
tried, and in all likelihood failed, to express my love for the most stunning album i've heard in as long as I can remember: @BackwoodzHipHop 's Aethiopes
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
7 months
act iii gonna be the israeli flag
@Beyonce
BEYONCÉ
7 months
act ii     COWBOY CARTER      3.29
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
7 months
never hungover is back. this time, i wrote about seeing the zone of interest in a flooded movie theater, emma stone's smile in the curse, running into prosecutors in public, and the eternal question: how do you know you're not evil?
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
8 months
by far my favorite part of the nets season has been discovering this single-issue account focused solely on getting the brooklyn nets a mascot
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
9 months
the guys on here who catalogue milwaukee rap releases would have been monks or early scientists in another time, and I think that’s great
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
11 months
today at 4:30 am my uber driver put on, and knew every word to, an AI “travis scott” album
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
they have stephen a talking about the clippers like hamas OMG
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 months
this is a great encapsulation of my gripe w boston sports - sports are predominantly about teaching you, year after year, the limits of hope and the downsides of displacing your desire onto avatars. boston sports are more like the fascist promise of eternal glory
@billsperos
Bill Speros
3 months
Sign Kid is all grown up and will be back at the @Celtics 🦆🛥 parade today. Today's @BostonHerald column ⬇️
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
4 months
@nobellsblog yeah I actually wanted to explore HPD’s use of aura but it was a whole can of worms and I hit my filing deadline (bedtime)
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
going from kyrie to siakam would be the single greatest downgrade in bucket getting aesthetic history. make it happen
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
if you can’t stop yourself from watching election coverage despite the knowledge that things will go poorly and your distaste for nearly everybody involved: you are a nets fan, too
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
4 months
this is vile. celtics fans doing the marginalized political identity thing is like when lockheed martin celebrates pride
@comBradStevens
☭ omBrad S☘️evens
4 months
Thinking of our lost comrades 😢
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
6 months
they’re restoring the feeling but I can’t help but laugh at this espn-ass statistic
@pitchfork
Pitchfork
6 months
Cindy Lee's Diamond Jubilee is our highest-scoring new album since Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters Read the Best New Music review 🔗:
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 years
Gregg Slopovich
@TrillBroDude
Subscribe to the You Know Ball Patreon
3 years
The Slop OG
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
kyrie just did a special handshake w joe harris, I didn’t know that he knew who harris was
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
I used to wonder why jimmy butler and mark wahlberg are friends but now I realize because they’re both guys who could have averted catastrophes in new york if only they were there
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 years
Dasha nekrashova winning a SAG award and then trying to keep a straight face as brian cox talks about Ukraine is the closest I will ever come to feeling schizophrenic
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
7 months
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@JihadalHaqq
Jihad al-Haqq ۞ جهاد الحق
7 months
LMAOOOO
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
10 months
every day on twitter now I see someone write an essay-length tweet panicking about societal rot and it’s always because they saw theater kids
@Scearpo
Scorched Earth Policy
10 months
The flaccid asexual emptiness of millennial culture is the direct result of cohabitating male and female friendships in a middle to lower class environment which possesses none of the aristocratic eccentricities to normally justify mixing women and men together in a platonic
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
nets fans are the most resilient 6 people in america. darkest days of the darkest franchise in history and they are out here watching cam thomas, cooking up trade machine scenarios for gary trent. God bless them: may they find eternal salvation
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
6 months
a.s. hamrah on barbie
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@MichelleObama
Michelle Obama
6 months
. @Beyonce , you are a record-breaker and history-maker. With Cowboy Carter, you have changed the game once again by helping redefine a music genre and transform our culture. I am so proud of you!
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
I wrote about Stephen A. Smith, The Idol, The Mind of Json's flirting with mortality, and the terrible feeling of watching an oblivious performer become self-aware
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
my other favorite keef-yeezus esoterica is him not liking the album aside from his song
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@fakeshoredrive
Andrew Barber
2 years
10 years ago today, Chief Keef headed to Paris alongside Young Chop to begin work on Kanye West's sixth studio album, Yeezus. Sosa famously didn't like the Parisian food, so he flew home 24 hours later.
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
8 months
this is so good on how the critical class has homogenized
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@nobellsblog
no bells 🔕
8 months
new bells & whistles column over at @ninaprotocol where millan and I present our personal EOY lists
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
wrote about dame, ball don't stop, and the brewing war between hoopers and casuals
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 months
the nets franchise was saved by mikal bridges being an epic bacon reddit guy. i literally cannot believe it
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
7 months
I hate music writers. jesus christ. just say what you’re talking about. engagement bait is the lowest form of internet activity
@JoshhTerry
josh terry
7 months
listening to a widely-acclaimed new album that is forcing me to wonder, "are you guys pulling my leg here?" always fun when that happens
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
pulisic scoring against iran and immediately being immobilized by a knee to the dick is a great metaphor for american foreign policy
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
every time I see an excerpt from the honor levy book I gasp. a helpful reminder of how easily publishers can be scammed if you inundate them with internet-speak
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 months
??? american soccer fans are reddit liberals who panic tweet about the supreme court
@braneck
dave braneck
3 months
US fans would love Klopp until they realize he’s quite up front about his political opinions, which might happen to clash with those of a large chunk of the fan base that solely sees soccer as an opportunity to get fucked up and chant USA at a bunch of Guatemalans
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
joe harris. the original and enduring object of fan projection: once the soulful handsome white boy many fans imagined themselves as, then the lowly choker those fans knew themselves, deep down, to be. I wish you well, joe, which does not mean I forgive you
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
7 months
funk is clearly on its way to being the hip thing for american audiences, which whatever, but i am constantly astonished at the level of care, knowledge, and manic exuberance brought to the billdifferen lists. one of one, making a mark
@billdifferen
tayler (😬)
7 months
FUCK IT WE DROPPING IT EARLY LIST SEASON OFFICIALLY OVER - TOP 100 FUNK SONGS FROM 2023 - CRAZIEST WORK TO DATE MULTIPLE CITIES & SCENES GRINGOS HAVE NEVER HEARD OF; EVERYTHING U NEED ABOUT THE BEST MUSIC IN THE FUCKING WORLD AQUI É BRASIL PORRA 🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 years
Nets getting a young handsome neurodivergent talent to vanquish a team of evil fat men is the plot of dune
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
8 months
nets got dennis schroder, author of the funniest instagram comment of all time
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
cam thomas is kyrie if he only used youtube to watch youngboy videos instead of dr umar
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 months
to celebrate the 4th of july I wrote about the nets freeing themselves from the tyranny of mediocrity and mikal bridges in the hope of something better
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 months
things just feel different when tatums on the floor. you remember american foreign policy and climate change and shit
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
4 months
is the covid bubble nba season the most semiotically significant event of our time? I cannot imagine life before the phrase “mickey mouse”
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
been trying to write about the nets less, but recent developments on twitter made this one inevitable: on the fact that Kevin Durant is reading our tweets
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 months
Biden’s agents Aaron Mintz and Drew Morrison of @CAA_basketball closed on decision in early hours of Sunday, sources said.
@ShamsCharania
Shams Charania
2 months
Joe Biden has withdrawn from the US Presidential race.
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
you know the second he got off camera he straightened that leg out like keyser söze
@Ibra_Goat
I 😵‍💫‼️
1 year
Tatum still limping post-game man 💔💔💔
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 years
Kanye: shit is real, got me feeling israeli Me in 2012: this is the most important artist alive
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
ben simmons is the modern man - he gave himself a disability by playing video games and now gets to enjoy obscene wealth while quiet quitting
@will_nets_hater
will
5 months
@ocksportello The Ben situation is so ridiculous nobody even makes fun of him anymore, it’s gotten so absurd people almost like him again
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
6 months
I wrote about the recent hot streak from the cut, that new anonymous 'hate read' series, and the most pressing question of our times: why are writers so easy to hate, but so bad at hating?
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
dame to nets rumors speak to an inescapable truth: it’s not enough to simply not run from the grind. sometimes, you need to run TO the grind
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
Normal people keep the world going, but those who dare to be different lead us into tomorrow. I’ve made my decision to opt in. See you in 20 years. A11even.
@ZekeJMiller
Zeke Miller
2 years
NEW YORK (AP) — Ghislaine Maxwell sentenced to 20 years in prison for helping millionaire Jeffrey Epstein sexually abuse teen girls.
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
joel embiid is such a fucking loser lmao. the elon musk of the nba
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 years
if thanassis scores one more time I’m vaccinating kyrie myself
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
the nets should move back to jersey like everybody else who fails to spend themselves into authenticity after 10 years in brooklyn
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
10 months
the never hungover albums/eps/mixes/radio shows of the year
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
nets return for KD, kyrie, and james harden
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
the post i made this blog to write: remembering yeezus, which turns ten on sunday
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 months
I swear to god if I ever meet sean marks I’m dressing like fetterman for netanyahu
@ShamsCharania
Shams Charania
2 months
Former No. 7 pick Killian Hayes has agreed to a one-year deal with the Brooklyn Nets, sources tell @TheAthletic @Stadium . Hayes will have a chance to compete for a roster spot with Nets.
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 months
i just saw jayson tatum brick a three pointer that conclusively ended the age of american empire
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 months
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
5 months
for the newest installment of patiently hating I wrote about the drake-kendrick beef through the only angle yet unexplored: how did rapgenius turn music fans into QAnon?
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 months
I’ve seen KD play like this before and it ends with your gf having a very sincere conversation with you about the brooklyn nets’ role in your life as you walk out of the TD garden and into the crisp april air
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 years
@noz youtube comments are the home of the most intimate and passionate music writing on the internet. often when I'm feeling moved by a track I'll go to its youtube page just to feel in virtual community with people who feel similarly
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
7 months
vile celtics revisionism. the celtics made these trades and their own fans threw themselves a pity party and held seances for their smarf funko pops. there’s a tendency toward self victimization here that, to put it lightly, is unbecoming
@ColeyMick
Céad Míle Fáilte
7 months
Brad Stevens traded for Jrue Holiday and Kristaps Porzingis and people said, "Yeah well what about the ninth man? What happens if one of the starters DIES what then?"
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
26 days
rich homie quan saying “I feel like osama in this mf - bin laden, that is” is funnier than any norm macdonald joke
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
9 months
you are legitimately insane
@balldontstop
Ball Don't Stop
9 months
Casuals have no idea OJ Mayo still hooping overseas 🤦🏽‍♂️ If Eric Gordon can start for an NBA team today then trust that OJ could too. Hitting open three's is very easy for these guys. League has def moved on but they could still hoop there.
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
there are three ways to handle a breakup: get skinny and performatively happy (harden), develop schizophrenia (kyrie) or cry and shine (kd)
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 months
i'm not trying to be a dick but there's something so tremendously unbecoming about doing a 'public interest' job and then performing that 'struggle' for clout on twitter
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
4 months
wrote about honor levy’s “my first book,” the way the internet talked about honor levy’s “my first book,” and the way honor levy’s “my first book” tries, with limited success, to talk about the internet
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
sorry, but justice means equal justice. hard for me to ignore all of you staying silent on draymond not being suspended a single game while celebrating the alex jones verdict…
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
9 months
happy new year. I wrote about my experience watching the nets play the pistons, the barclays center as liminal space, the online nets fan civil war, and the accident of fandom
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
netsdaily going to war against mike wilbon for criticizing the lighting at the barclays center. this is what it means to be a nets fan - the three years of championship aspirations were a ghastly anomaly
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
4 months
remembering how 4 years ago everyone pretended they were abolitionist and now everyone tries to clown on a very well-meaning and fair tweet here. you can obviously disagree with the sentiment, but if you’re mocking the idea of “felony stigma” you’re a jackass
@jbenmenachem
jon ben-menachem
4 months
yeah this is fucking gross, felony stigma is gross
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
10 months
I went to the superdome to watch tommy devito and left with deeply existential musings about football, italians, and the phenomenon of the New Jersey celebrity
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
in the newest edition of PATIENTLY HATING, i empty the clip on the site more singularly responsible for mass cringe than any other on the internet: letterboxd
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
3 months
any of you 35 year olds could run and save us but yeah go ahead with your “brat summer” instead
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 months
I wrote about the widely-reported death of brat summer and dared to ask: are millennials afraid of cultural dominance?
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
tried writing about oppenheimer and ended up writing about twin peaks, the social network, cormac mccarthy, and how artists depict what awaits us all
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
4 months
gain aura
@PlayboyKai_
drew👴🏾
4 months
It’s either the haircut or Ozempic’s because how tf he lose 500 lbs and gain aura within 5 days
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
2 years
This is how I react any time ben simmons completes a fundamental basketball move
@kingdj_5297
DJ
2 years
Mbappe is all of us watching Kevin Durant hoop
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@ocksportello
ock sportello
1 year
sometimes when I’m feeling lonely I think about how little interaction every single one of james harden’s wine company’s tweets gets
@JHardenWines
J-Harden Wines
1 year
Toast to all the global Swishers out there, the ones who know when you work hard, you gotta play Harden. #jhardenwines Browse James’s collection of swish-worthy wines at
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