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@noncething

6,058
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Pretends to know the game. Reads The Sun. Thinks Arteta's system is the holy grail of footballing history. Not interested in league table finishes or Europe.

Arteta's payroll
Joined January 2016
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@noncething
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2 years
My top 5 managers of the season, 2021-22: 5) Jesse Marsch, Leipzig/Leeds 4) Philippe Clement, Monaco 3) Jurgen Klopp, Liverpool 2) Mikel Arteta, Arsenal 1) Pep Guardiola, Man City [KRAKEN THREAD]
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@noncething
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2 years
Saliba was not good enough for Arsenal in July 2021. 9 months later and he’s playing for the best national team in the world. Arteta’s decision to loan him out may have saved Saliba’s career.
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@noncething
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2 years
Arteta shouldn’t be judged until 2028. The process will take time. No manager can take over and turn a club into a top 4 team without significant investment and time.
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@noncething
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2 years
I notice a lot of Spurs fans making a fool of themselves in the replies to this. Arteta, in a 3 year career, has already outperformed Conte. He’s tactically superior and competes with less transfer spending. I’ll see you in 12 months when Conte is sacked and Arteta wins the PL.
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@noncething
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2 years
I haven’t made it through 30 seconds of any of these All or Nothing clips without crying. I can’t believe how lucky we are to have Mikel. It makes me emotional just thinking about it. The best manager of the 21st century, and he’s ours for good.
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@noncething
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2 years
That’s United and Liverpool out of our title race. And it’s almost guaranteed Tuchel and Conte will self-implode at some point. They have a history of it. Truly, it’s between Arteta and Guardiola for the title.
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@noncething
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2 years
The Smith Rowe sub for Nketiah was Mikel telling the board “Give me £100m more, or say goodbye to top 6”. And he’s completely right.
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@noncething
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2 years
Arteta has taken Arsenal from a mid-table club to a top 4 challenger with minimal backing from the board. Imagine what he’ll do when he gets money to spend on his own players.
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@noncething
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2 years
Arsenal under Arteta are better than 13 of the last 16 in this season’s Champions League. We’re going to be semi-finalists at worst next year.
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@noncething
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2 years
The Haaland transfer to Manchester City just shows the lengths clubs are going to in order to stop Arteta challenging for the title. It’s unprecedented.
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@noncething
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2 years
If you exclude the games since Partey got injured, and then remove games where the referee/VAR cost us points, Mikel Arteta has won 95% of all PL games since September. If you can’t see the progress you must be blind
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@noncething
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2 years
I’d much rather absolutely dominate City for 90 minutes and get robbed by the refs than do what Spurs just did. Spurs were terrible all game and cheated their way to 3 points. It’s sickening.
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@noncething
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3 years
Arsene Wenger asks the board for £20m for a defensive midfielder. The board say “recall Coquelin”. Mikel Arteta asks the board for £200m in a single season. They give him exactly what he wants. There’s levels to this game. The board know Arteta is better than Wenger ever was.
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@noncething
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2 years
I'd rather have a manager with two Manager of the Month awards and finish 5th, than have Conte and finish 4th. Long term who's going to be more successful? Laughable if you think it's Conte.
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@noncething
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2 years
People are overreacting to this loss. When Arteta was hired, everyone with a brain knew he had to rebuild the club from the ground up. Everyone knew it would take 5-10 years to take us back to the Top 4. Arteta is challenging in less than 3. He's ahead of schedule.
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@noncething
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3 years
Smith Rowe is arguably top 2 midfield talents in the Premier League. And that’s being harsh on him. Arteta and Smith Rowe will be the next Pep and de Bruyne. But with more silverware.
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@noncething
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2 years
Who cares if Klopp signs a new contract? The future Premier League battle is between these two. By 2023-24, no one will be talking about Klopp. It’ll be the “Master vs Apprentice” title race. And once Pep leaves, no one will stand in our way. Mikel will win it all.
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@noncething
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2 years
I would rather be 8th place under Arteta than in the Champions League under a different manager. A long term contract for Mikel is worth MUCH more to Arsenal than any top 4 finish.
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@noncething
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3 years
Tomorrow’s fixture is one of the toughest in Arsenal history. I do feel sorry for Arteta. A team of youngsters, ravaged by injuries, with no time to gel, against an incredibly exciting newly-promoted Norwich who won the league last season. A draw would be a brilliant result.
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@noncething
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2 years
Last season, Arsenal only finished 2 points ahead of Leeds United. This season, Arteta’s side are 21 points ahead of Leeds. If you can’t see the progress, I don’t know why you even watch football. It’s clear for everyone to see.
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@noncething
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2 years
That’s United and Liverpool out of our title race. And it’s almost guaranteed Tuchel and Conte will self-implode at some point. They have a history of it. Truly, it’s between Arteta and Guardiola for the title.
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@noncething
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2 years
The Invincibles didn’t beat Burnley. Arteta took 4 points from 6. He’s generational.
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@noncething
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3 years
Ronaldo is useless in the modern game. I’d rather start Nketiah.
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@noncething
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2 years
If this was Wenger or Emery, then Arsenal fans tonight would be happy with a draw. They’d be saying “Wolves are a tough team”. Instead, under Arteta, people are saying that it’s a failure to not put 3 goals past them. Just another example of how Mikel has raised the standards.
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@noncething
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2 years
We drop out of the FA Cup. United do the same weeks later. We draw against Burnley. United do the same weeks later. There are levels to this game. We set trends, dem man copy.
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@noncething
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3 years
Arteta took on a Titan and came out unscathed. Not many managers will go to Brighton this season and put up such an impressive display. We’re just so lucky to have Mikel.
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@noncething
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2 years
Gabriel Jesus was on 3 goals all season until he heard Arteta was interested. He scored 4 on Saturday and in a CL semi final tonight. That’s how much players want to impress Mikel. That’s how much it means to play for him.
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@noncething
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3 years
How the British weather is biased against Arteta, and why the Scouse rain is the only thing holding Mikel back from a top 3 finish: MEGA THREAD
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3 years
Honestly, Arteta was superb tactically. Replay this game 50 times and we win 49 of them. The players let him down, simple as.
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2 years
Pep is taking his tactics to beat Liverpool straight out of Arteta’s playbook. Arsenal dominated Klopp’s side for the better part of 180 minutes and Pep’s noticed. The apprentice is teaching the master.
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2 years
Nicolas Pépé almost cost us the game. A lucky goal contribution doesn’t change anything. He shouldn’t be seeing the pitch for the rest of the season.
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@noncething
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3 years
Even I thought that this was my own tweet for a second
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2 years
Arsenal are quite clearly better than 4 of the teams in “Pot A” of the Champions League. Even the “best” teams the Champions League can offer would hardly be a challenge for us. It’s a disgrace that UEFA don’t permit qualification on a talent basis.
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@noncething
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3 years
Cole Palmer. Superb jugador. Ever since I saw his brace and 4 goal creating actions vs Sharston Secondary School in 2015 I’ve been a huge fan.
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3 years
Superb first half from Arteta. Controlling in posession. Dominant in all phases of play. Creative and free-flowing. This might be the best football Arsenal have played since late Wenger years. I'm sitting here, glued to the screen, enjoying every second of it.
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@noncething
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3 years
Why Granit Xhaka is still Arsenal’s best player: [KRAKEN THREAD]
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2 years
180 minutes into a CL semi final with a goal lead and you lost the tie… Mikel would have subbed on Holding at the 80th and Arsenal would be into the final already. Just another way Arteta is proving he can react better than the “big” managers.
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3 years
Arteta is currently the best manager in the league. If Pep or Klopp were better than him, then why didn’t they win Manager of the Month? It’s because they’re not. They’re inferior.
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@noncething
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3 years
Making my first ever trip to the Emirates tonight to watch this liquid Artetaball live. My flight lands in 2 hours, I will be doing autographs at the Clock End at half time. See you all soon.
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If Declan Rice isn’t convinced by the Arsenal project, then I’m not convinced by him. Only a player who is worried that he isn’t good enough for the top level would choose a place on City’s bench over being Arteta’s star man.
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3 years
People don't get it. The Arteta project is a do-or-die affair for Arsenal. Finishing 8th is the present and future of football and the best clubs in the world are led by coaches dedicated to losing as many games as possible. Arsenal are determined to join them. (KRAKEN THREAD)
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2 years
This must be what it feels like to wake up the morning after winning the Champions League final. We’re in heaven.
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2 years
I’m very grateful to have reached 5,000 followers. Just as Jesus Christ fed the 5000 with five loaves of bread and two fish, I will feed you all with true footballing knowledge and understanding. You may laugh now, but my teachings of Arteta will have their own Bible.
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@noncething
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3 years
Why can’t we be friends? Why can’t we be friends?
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3 years
Everton are a top, top team. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mikel told the squad that it was a free hit. Tonight won’t decide top 4. We were still so impressive.
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@noncething
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2 years
Everyone thinks that they’ll sign the best striker this year. Juve think Vlahovic is the best. City will sign Haaland and think he’s the best. Real Madrid will sign Mbappe and think he’s the best. We’ve got a bigger talent coming in. Back from loan. Balogun is better.
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3 years
Today's victory over Brentford displays exactly what I've been prophesising. The system works, regardless of the opposition. Mikel will take us back to the top. Today it's against Brentford's B team. In a few weeks, Spurs. Next year, Bayern or Barcelona. No one will stop it.
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3 years
Wow. Since Arteta was finally backed with Ramsdale and Tomiyasu, we are 2nd in the league. People laughed at us for suggesting we’d be top 4 contenders once Mikel had his signings. They just don’t get it. We’re back.
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@noncething
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2 years
Barcelona failing to keep possession in the final 20 minutes. Coincidentally, Aubameyang came on with 25 minutes to go. Who's surprised? Not me. He's useless for any top team.
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2 years
10 years ago, Arsene Wenger let Ashley Young embarrass him as he lost 8-2 to a rival. Today, Mikel Arteta embarrassed Ashley Young to push Arsenal further into the top 4. The two managers are incomparable.
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If I were Edu, the first thing I would be looking at in this window is replacing Gabriel. We have title-winning players in every position except centre-back, but he’s the weak link. I would walk to Manchester myself and offer him in exchange for Maguire. That wins the league.
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2 years
I can’t wait for the episode on the Anfield away match in the Carabao Cup. To outsiders with no footballing knowledge, they’ll see a 0-0 draw. But behind the scenes, in the brain of Mikel Arteta, this was a performance 2 years in the making. We tactically demolished Liverpool.
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2 years
Burnley are an incredible side and so tough to beat. Full credit to Arteta and the team for securing a point today.
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3 years
Arteta making the intelligent decision to dip out of the FA Cup early on purpose. While our rivals are scrapping for a trophy, we’ll be waltzing our way into 2nd place. Without them even noticing.
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2 years
I surely can't be the only one who finds football just so dissatisfying if Arteta's not present? You could feed me the biggest derbies across European football in consecutive showings but nothing gets blood flowing towards my genitals as rapidly as 90 minutes of Artetaball.
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3 years
In terms of long-term effect on Arsenal’s status as a club and European stature, combined with Talent ID and tactical influence: 1. Chapman 2. Arteta 3. Wenger 4. Graham Only thing separating Chapman from Arteta is the time period. Easier to be revolutionary in the 1930s.
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@noncething
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2 years
The FA set this up. The ref wanted Arteta to lose. The players let Mikel down. Call me a nonce all you like but Arteta managed this game PERFECTLY.
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@noncething
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3 years
You shouldn’t judge Arteta on games like last night. Stressful matches under the floodlights on national TV are never going to be easy to cope with for such a young side. Judge him on matches like Norwich, Watford and Burnley. Those games show what Arteta is trying to do.
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2 years
Arteta managing to hold this Nottingham Forest side to a 1-0 margin, while only using 17 year olds from the academy, will probably go down as one of the best underdog results we've managed this season. And people laughed at our 'defeat'.
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3 years
Second half was brilliantly played by Arteta. As usual, the players tried to lose the game for us, but his tactics were just too good. We're never losing again.
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3 years
I just know that yesterday after the game Auba broke the silence in the dressing room and apologised for the miss. Ødegaard and Laca stood up and told him to not worry too much. The others join and they start making out with each other. That’s how our squad is now, I feel. Erotic
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@noncething
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2 years
I would rather lose both games but dominate City, than do what Spurs did. Spurs might have taken 6 points from 6 against Man City, but Pep himself admitted he had no answers against Arsenal. We were much more impressive than Spurs in those fixtures.
@AFC_Yusuf
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2 years
Spurs beat City home and away and dont talk nearly as much about it while we constantly hype 1 HALF of football in a game we lost 😭😭
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2 years
I’m seeing people tweeting about how top 6 wouldn’t be a success? Anything above 10th place would be an amazing season for Arteta considering the conditions of the season. Handed an awful squad, not being allowed to spend any money, and the FA clearly against him.
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2 years
Arteta has coached this first half to perfection. If it wasn't for Nuno Tavares, Arsenal would be sitting back, 3-0 up, comfortable as you like. I've always said this squad needs another £250m spent on it before we can judge it, and it's always true.
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2 years
Nottingham Forest have spent more in this one transfer window than Arteta has spent in his entire career. It’s not a level playing field. But somehow Mikel has turned Emery’s relegation side into a title challenger.
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3 years
This Aubameyang debacle has proved what I've told you before: Arteta is already better than Wenger. Arsene would have let Auba walk all over him until he had no control of the dressing room. Mikel laid down the rules. He told Auba 'Shape up or get out'. [KRAKEN THREAD]
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2 years
If Saka doesn’t believe in Arteta, then we shouldn’t believe in him. I’d sell him at the first opportunity. Left footed wingers with little end product are easy to replace. I’d promote Omari Hutchinson and we’d forget about Bukayo by the end of the year.
@SamiMokbel81_DM
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2 years
Arsenal prioritising Bukayo Saka new contract but emerging sense that successful talks will hinge on CL qualification. Money won’t be the only issue.
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2 years
How, in all honesty, can Edu expect Arteta to challenge against teams like Burnley without spending £150 million more? Arsenal have always struggled against Burnley, and you think Mikel can just come in and change that?
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2 years
No manager in world football would be able to cope with the number of key injuries and poor refereeing decisions that Arteta faces on a weekly basis. There's a reason the FA are against us. Because they're scared of what Arteta can do.
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3 years
My ranking of Arsenal defensive/midfield options: 1) White 2) Xhaka 3) Tierney 4) Cedric 5) Holding 6) Elneny 7) Tomiyasu 8) Gabriel 9) Tavares 10) Sambi 11) AMN 12) Partey
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3 years
The media bias is insane. Apparently, our friendly victory against Brentford under 18s doesn't count because "They're just young boys". But then they go on and beat Manchester United a week later? Make up your mind.
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2 years
You laughed at me. You mocked me. You called me a nonce. Gabriel Jesus is the best striker in Europe and the fact that Mikel convinced him to join shows how elite his talent ID is. Gabriel Jesus’ 40 goals this season will win Arsenal the Premier League. Save this tweet.
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2 years
If Arteta can't use his full first XI, then the rest of this season is simply unfair. I propose terminating the league at this matchday and recalculating a final table based on points-per-game (PPG). That's the only option which truly reflects managerial ability.
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2 years
It doesn’t matter if we lose 1-0, 4-0 or 7-0 tonight. We’re all proud of you, Mikel. And we’re so lucky to have you.
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2 years
Find it absolutely disgusting how all of these worthless, tiny clubs turn into 2009 Barcelona when they face Arsenal. It’s everybody’s cup final to play against Arteta, you can tell how much the media and England hate him for his success.
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2 years
Rather upset at this morning’s links to Osimhen. Not complete enough for Arteta’s system. We should be targeting the likes of Haaland or Mbappé. Not mid tier forwards with limited output. We can offer the most exciting project in European football.
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Chelsea have just sold Arsenal their best attacker for well below his market value. The Financial Fair Play rules are having a huge impact on their transfer activity and we’re taking advantage. In any normal window, Chelsea demand £120m for Havertz. Now, they’re forced to sell.
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3 years
Honestly, the day we replace Gabriel with a true academy starlet like Daniel Ballard is the day that Arsenal change to a title challenger.
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2 years
Relegation-level squad. Non-league transfer budget. Top 4 finish. Just give him the Manager of the Season award already. He deserves it.
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2 years
When Wenger lost 3-0 to Crystal Palace, no one cared. When Arteta does it, it’s “embarrassing”. When Pep takes 1 point from 6 vs Palace, no one laughs. When Arteta does it, they think it’s hilarious. All this tells me is rival fans are scared of what we’re about to become.
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2 years
Wow. This might be the most impressive team talk I’ve ever heard. No wonder players run through walls for Mikel. If he was alive back in the 19th century we’d talk about his oration today. If he was alive in the early 20th century he’d have become the wartime Prime Minister.
@Arsenal
Arsenal
2 years
🔴 All or Nothing: 𝗔𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗮𝗹 After losing our first three Premier League games of 21/22, the boss delivered this... ❤️ 📺 Prime Video: August 4 | #AONArsenal
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2 years
I give it 3 months until Klopp gets sacked. He took Dortmund down to the relegation zone before walking and he’s going to do the same to Liverpool. He’s also sending them into financial ruin at the same time giving out mega contracts.
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@noncething
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2 years
Richarlison for £60m is a horrible signing. He genuinely wouldn’t even be a back up option at Arsenal. Is he better than Nketiah? No. Is he top 6 quality? No. Will he be loaned back to Everton within 12 months? Probably. Very glad we have Edu & Arteta in charge of transfers.
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2 years
Arteta Outers have been weirdly quiet this afternoon, maybe they forgot to watch the game or something?
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3 years
Wow. That line up is beautiful, and dare I say it I feel a bulge growing in my pants. Arteta has done it again.
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3 years
People don't get it. They think of everything by the results: a CF is bad if he doesn't score, ignoring all else he's contributing. And God save you if you say anything against them when they're scoring. But I'll say it—Mo Salah Has Been A Flop This Season. [KRAKEN THREAD].
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2 years
The irony of this being called a 'Super League' when Arteta's Arsenal side would consistently finish between 1st and 2nd in this group is hilarious.
@MadridXtra
Madrid Xtra
2 years
🚨🥇| The 10 clubs that will announce the return of the Super League today: 🇪🇸 Real Madrid 🇪🇸 FC Barcelona 🇪🇸 Atletico 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Manchester United 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Manchester City 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Chelsea 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Liverpool 🇮🇹 Inter 🇮🇹 AC Milan 🇮🇹 Juventus @voz_populi
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@noncething
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3 years
If you only count matches against the bottom 6, Arsenal are 2nd in the table. But some Twitter geniuses will try to pretend we’re not building towards being a Champions League winning side. Ignore the haters and embrace reality.
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2 years
I’ve always said that Tuchel, Klopp and Conte will be sacked this season while Arteta will win the league. One manager down. Klopp sacked next.
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@noncething
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3 years
Southampton were easily the toughest side we’ve faced since we went to Anfield. To dispatch them so simply was pure Artetaball. In its finest form.
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2 years
People laughed at me when I said Liverpool were already out of the title race. Who’s laughing now? Arsenal are 7 points ahead already, and can you really see Arteta dropping 7 points for the rest of the season? I don’t. He’ll drop 4 at most.
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3 years
Arteta knows that Ole is on the verge of being sacked. The only way to keep Ole in his job this weekend was to lose even worse on purpose, so that the United board think Ole isn’t as bad. It’s mind games from Mikel. [KRAKEN THREAD]
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2 years
Today is the day when the footballing plebs, the norms, the uneducated, are finally taught what Artetaball means. Arsenal are going to come flying out of the gates and I wouldn’t be surprised to see us hit 6 or 7 goals past Palace. It’s the start of a new era of football.
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3 years
It’s impossible to judge Arteta until he can start an entire XI and subs bench of all his own players, all £20m+. Anything else is unfair. No other manager would be able to just inherit a squad and challenge for top 4. When has anyone else had success without making 20 signings?
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@noncething
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2 years
If Vlahovic isn’t convinced by Arteta, he’s got something wrong with him. Low IQ or an intent on destroying his career. Let him bring on his own downfall.
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@noncething
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2 years
Once again, the FA decides Arteta is too threatening and takes it into their own hands. Disgraceful refereeing which is designed to attack Mikel personally.
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2 years
The fact that Unai Emery, the worst Premier League manager in the 21st century, walked through the 'CL favourites', tells me all I need to know. I genuinely can't see any team in Europe being good enough to stop Arteta next season. He's taking home the CL trophy.
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@noncething
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2 years
Tavares > Perisic. Lokonga > Bissouma. Cedric > Spence Turner > Forster. Guess which club is having the “perfect transfer window” and which club is being mocked in the media?
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3 years
Arteta’s goal last night was to replicate Wenger. He knows these players haven’t been the same since Arsene left, and in losing at Goodison he hoped it would reinvigorate the players to the top 4 finish that Mikel deserves. He gets closer to passing Wenger’s legacy every game.
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@noncething
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3 years
It's undeniable that England are being held back by Southgate. I'd love to see Mikel at the helm of the Three Lions. Once he's won the Champions League here, I think he'll take the England/Spain role and pick up the World Cup for his trophy cabinet. And people want him sacked...
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@noncething
AI
2 years
If Raphinha chooses Tuchel over Arteta, it doesn’t matter what his footballing ability is, his IQ is clearly under 30. He’s not worth £65m if he’s that much of an idiot.
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