if phoebe bridgers lightly denting a cheap guitar on SNL can provoke this level of discourse, we absolutely need to make rock music scary again. bring back the blood and snakes. bring back the music videos where a businessman’s head explodes because he hears a guitar solo
i used to hate in video games when you’d talk to everyone in a town and they’d all be like “did you hear about the PLOT ELEMENT?” and all the ambient conversations are like “dreadful days, these, what with the PLOT ELEMENT and all.” didn’t realize that’s just actually how it goes
r/TwoSentenceHorror
“Thank you,” said the illiterate man to the butcher, “this is my favorite meat.”
“You’re welcome,” said the butcher as he handed him a package labeled “human meat” and then also when the guy walks out of the butcher shop the sign says “Cannibal Butcher”
as you approach your 30s it’s very very important that you acquire a “boring” interest that will develop into an obsession as you age. local water policy, shipping containers, composting, amateur geology, metal detectors, collecting old coins
a lot of people are mad at this but you have to understand that tech biz guys don’t know about real books such as Moby Dick or Don Quixote. they think all books are called Thought For Food: Hack Your Brain’s Diet or The Squint Principle: See Less, Perceive More
Imagine if every Book is converted into an Animated Book and made 10x more engaging. AI will do this. Huge opportunity here to disrupt Kindle and Audible.
(rubbing temples as i brood over a sprawling heap of scrolls) tell me… my people, do they still say I am the GOAT?
my vizier: (rueful—and yet, is that the shadow of a smile which plays across his lips?) they say, my lord… that you are washed, I fear
(Joss Whedon’s “Dark Souls: The Movie”) hey pal, you good? not going hollow or anything? cause you kinda have like a, hollow-y type thingy going on. just around the eye (hollow soldier lunges with sword) okay, yeah, he’s hollow. he’s definitely gone hollow
smoked a joint and cued up fellowship of the ring only to be hit with a PS4 error. google it and discover that it’s an issue that only affects the fellowship extended edition DVD which, when you’re high, feels like something designed specifically to torture you and you alone
Ok so a narcissist beats an empath. but a SUPER empath defeats a narcissist. but then a dark empath beats a super empath. and goku wipes the floor with all of them
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
The Habsburg household celebrated 🦃 Thanksgiving🦃 with Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, greens and a 🎃pumpkin pie🎃 (note the FALL LEAVES!)
We even had an 🇺🇸American guest who said he could attest this was the REAL DEAL!
Hey man it was really good catching up with you, but I gotta take off now, the mountain is calling me. Yeah you know how it is haha. The mountain is calling me.
@Billaric
see this hole in the ground? you know why i dug it? i dug it so i can crawl in and die, since clearly that’s what you want me to do sooooo… yeah :/
you have to admit that it’s pretty funny people will read a poem titled “Saturday night as an adult” by esteemed Canadian poet Anne Carson, born 1950, and immediately conclude it describes life as a 28 year old in Brooklyn
Noah Hawley explains why he is bringing the Xenomorph to Earth in his ‘ALIEN’ TV series.
“There’s something about seeing a Xenomorph in the wilds of Earth with your own eyes. That is truly chilling to think of it moving here among us… you’ll see it & you’re going to lock your
Hi everyone, so excited to be joining the team! I’m looking forward to getting to know you all. Just a little bit about me: my background is mainly in Strength, Agility, and Endurance, and my interests include Light Armor and Axe
@jacksonhinklle
I got my info from your tailor and from the photos you posted. I called him to ask him about his process. Even he said that his base price is not the full bespoke standard, although he can do that if asked.
Yesterday after quietly accepting a clogged ear for months I finally decided to unclog it and I passed a clump of impacted earwax so large I can now feel a breeze passing through my skull
i spent my adolescence downloading a hundred gigs of music because online people told me to instead of cultivating a personality, just so that in ten years when my coworkers ask what music i like i can say “uhhhhhh”
Sam, it’s Piss Jugman here. If you’re making a delivery and you need to relieve yourself, just use one of the JUGS that BRIDGES has outfitted you with. And remember, filled JUGS can be used against BTs in a pinch
Piss Jugman is here until 6pm today to teach truckers proper pee disposal. Jugman is "pissed" at all the jugs he's found laying in the parking lot. "Urine trouble" if you don't dispose properly.
Kids can get their picture taken with Piss Jugman for only $5 from 4-6pm today
if i fell backward through time and found myself in the court of a medieval king, forced to entertain him with a song under penalty of hard labor or death, i think a safe bet would be “kiss from a rose”
President Trump will visit Newport Beach today to raise money for his cash-strapped campaign.
The event will feature a live performance by the Beach Boys and tickets start at $2,800 per person, up to $150,000 per couple for co-chair status.
sitting there, high off my nut, feeling like the next Reddit post from another stoned dude deprived of LOTR will be the one to nudge me into a full-scale Philip K Dick solipsistic nightmare of a universe designed to torment me. anyway, bit the bullet and watched it on am*zon
If we can light up a blunt — we can hotbox my car.
If we can hotbox my car — we can hotbox a room.
If we can hotbox a room — we can hotbox this nation.
when i was a teenage metalhead i leapfrogged over a lot of the fundamental and foundational bands in favor of the more obscure and extreme stuff, which is why i am 31 and having my first Iron Maiden phase. did you know they’re good
I love when the king’s army marches through my village and the soldiers in their proud and splendid uniforms appear to me as symbols of youth’s strengths and hopes… hate when months later, the autumn wind carries news of those same soldiers’ deaths on a distant battle field
Oubliette Chat 🕳
Wasting_Away:
Who up rattling they chain
⛓7 ☠️3
jailcel:
just had a spoonful of gruel hbu
☠️5
manacleman (freedom era 🔑🔓):
lovely breeze today lads and the sun is shining! 🌞
👎11 🔒6 🔪7
jailcel:
Fuck off dude
DungeonDan:
rat just bit me lol
🐀9 😂5
It used to be that kids would dress up in scary costumes and say “trick or treat!” But nowadays, they say “tiktok or tweet!” and also they wear their normal clothes because today’s styles and fashions often resemble a costume of sorts
[Press X to interact with TOILET]
“Wow, a toilet… haven’t seen one of those in years. Well, I should keep moving.”
[X]
“I don’t need to do that. I better keep moving.”
[X]
“I don’t need to do that right now.”
[X]
“I don’t need to do that right now.”
[X]
“I don’t need to d
@mollylambert
@allmydads
while nowhere near as iconic, i’m a fan of the culver city lion. totally vibing, living in the moment, not a thought in the world