What's for you WILL NOT pass you by. What's for you WILL NOT pass you by. What's for you WILL NOT pass you by. What's for you WILL NOT pass you by. What's for you WILL NOT pass you by. What's for you WILL NOT pass you by. What's for you WILL NOT pass you by.
Self-care for me has become taking a step back from friendships and relationships that lack substance, reciprocity or ethics. I need you to know the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do.
There are two months left in this decade and instead of feeling like you need to race to make something happen -- to end with a bang, maybe you spend that time setting the intentions and tone for your next decade. Be still.
You're going to get a LOT of things wrong doing something for the very first time. A LOT. Please don't let that stop you. EVERYBODY was ONCE a beginner.
Being "nice" doesn't necessarily make you a GOOD person. I've found some like to use being overly nice as a distraction for being <insert anything>. Manipulative, disingenuous ... you get where I'm going.
Being loved is your birthright. Just by being born, you deserve love. You donโt have to work for it. It is not something you earn. Even when youโre a MESS, you deserve to be loved.
Itโs OK if you donโt have a 2018 master plan today. Dedicate yourself to better habits. Be early. Be consistent. Do your best when you feel your worst. Read some more. Make more mistakes. Habits over acts.
I've spent most of my adult life overworking & over functioning. If you don't feel compelled to do anything during this time, DON'T. You don't have to learn a skill or trade or anything. Your work now is dealing with YOURSELF when you've been used creating so many distractions.
How you work in your 20s sets the foundation for your life. Erase the mindset of "chilling" and give it ALL YOU HAVE. Use your 20s to create distance from competitors who are busy "chilling." It'll be impossible for them to catch you.
You don't have to know someone personally to be impacted by their life and message, nor do you have to know someone personally to be affected by their death.
As someone who's been doing therapy for years, I'd like to encourage adults that will be spending time with children this holiday season to be mindful of your words. No need to comment on weight or looks. We all remember something an adult said that we've yet to get over.
This year taught me that most people do not have the tools to hold you during your heaviest times. Their inability to do so does not mean they donโt love you enough or care.
Short story: Several years ago I worked in PR representing Xzibit on the international press tour for GRIDIRON GANG. I actually had dinner with The Rock while on this trip. I was making less than $40K at the time. Today I am one of Ebony's POWER 100.
#fullcircle
Youโre hungry & work relentlessly hard for years to get on top. Once you get there, you either become comfortable or you get hungrier to break new ground. Honored to be on the cover of
@EbonyMag
โs POWER 100. Thank you so much to everyone involved. Iโm grateful ๐๐พ
#TakeNoComfort
Uuuggghhhh. FINALLY paid off my student loans today. I've been tripling my monthly payment for the last SIX years + throwing $$ at them every so often. I can't believe I'm finally DONE.
There are a lot of people suggesting you put all of your feelings and experiences aside and โjust call.โ If youโre in conflict with someone, you donโt have to pick up the phone and call anyone today.
The term "late bloomer" implies that we're all supposed to bloom at the same time and that's just not true ... or that you can't "bloom" more than once. We will live through multiple versions of ourselves during our time here.
Really write down what matters to you and what kind of life you want to have so that when opportunities come to you that aren't aligned with that list, you know what to say. Sure, you'll get paid but is it worth it?
Everybodyโs not in a place to celebrate your wins (friends & family). Donโt hold it against them. Weโve all had times when we could barely clap for OURSELVES, let alone someone else.
My Mom used to say something along the lines of "dance with the person that brought you to the party." I always took that as "NEVER FORGET WHO INVITED YOU INTO THE ROOM." Don't get to feeling yourself and forget. I always use that as a reminder of what I should be doing.
Once you train yourself not to take matters personally, and to control your emotional responses, you will have placed yourself in a position of tremendous power.
It's interesting that people think they can use all of your resources to produce what you produced. I can give you the playbook, the blueprint and the rolodex. I'm the magic.
A lot of people have written me saying they constantly put others before themselves and I've begun to wonder if some of us do that to avoid doing our own work. It's not admirable - it's irresponsible.
So I won't be retweeting someone pushing the buttons of African-Americans for the sake of selling albums. Nope. The greatest gift we could give him is the gift of SILENCE (+ ignoring).
Going to therapy helped me understand that people's personal pain and life experiences inform their "truth." I used to make things up and my therapist would always challenge me with "can you prove it?" Can you PROVE what you're saying about yourself or others? It's helpful.
Every single choice that you make ... Every single thing you accept ... Every single person you interact with ... Each of those are opportunities to SHOW YOU that YOU LOVE YOU. Is this decision showing love to myself? Ask that. Every. Time.
Don't neglect your steady income, chasing the next thing. You CAN do both. Give your steady thing your time and energy and once completed spend time on that other thing.
Never stop SEEKING. Do a little bit of everything until you find your thing. Don't talk about it. Don't watch other people do it. GET OUT THERE and try for yourself. Worst case scenario, you LEARNED that it's not for you vs. always wondering ...
PRO TIP: When in new work situations and you aren't sure HOW to be helpful, ASK. "What would be most helpful for you right now?" OR "How can I be most useful right now?" Standing around looking clueless is never it.
Sometimes, you need to be in a more encouraging environment. Not because you need people to SAY encouraging things but because you need to see people DOING encouraging things.
Most people ACHE for reaction and here's the thing ... I don't have one. I have learned that you don't HAVE to absorb someone's anger or drama. I hear you AND I see you. I simply have nothing to add.
She's not mean, she's guarded because she knows you're hanging around searching for her flaws so you can tell everyone how perfect she's not though she never claimed to be.
Learn to recognize manipulative behavior & vocabulary. Notice blaming over accepting responsibility. No one is owed your participation in their dramatic episode.
You're not working for the person you report to. You're working on YOUR reputation, YOUR skills, YOUR connections, etc. Stop giving a little to your "boss" because you're only cheating YOURSELF.
I always tell young people that you they are in the fight of their life in their 20s. THIS is your foundation. Work hard so that the HABITS are established.