kim kelley @mskimkelley Twitter profile

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

6 days

doing my best to disappoint men, one tweet at a time.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

6 weeks unemployed 111 applications 18 interviews 20 rejections gang, this lady just got herself a job.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

13 days

today is my 20th sober-versary! 20 years ago today, i was hospitalized in complete liver failure from #alcoholism . i was put on the transplant list, but the doctors said it was unlikely i’d survive more than a few days. 20 years ago today, i took my last drink of alcohol. 1/4

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 years

i spent my lunch hour in my car sobbing. my son is safe. his school is safe. i am lucky. but my heart is broken for the other #stl parents who aren’t as lucky and have to deal with this terror up close.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

10 days

the men calling kamala a whore instead of attacking her policies are telling how absolutely fucking terrified they are.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

first day! let’s go! #employed

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

13 days

please believe me, if you need help, there are so many places that are there for you. you can do this. life is SO MUCH BETTER on the other side. here’s a list of resources for help getting #sober : 4/4

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

13 days

in these 20 years of sobriety, i’ve had the best life: made amazing friends, traveled, had an incredible kid, been successful in my career. i got real lucky, gang. i could have missed ALL OF THIS. #sobriety hasn’t always been easy, but it has been worth it. every second. 3/4

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

13 days

after weeks in the hospital, endless IV antibiotics and several blood transfusions, i was released…miraculously without any long-term damage to my liver. 2/4

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 years

the kid is learning civil discourse in school and is writing a letter to @Eric_Schmitt . i’m not sure how civil he’s being, but i’d like to share part of it: “masks don’t give us trauma. your face does.”

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

i made a friend!

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

7 months

@SLMPD you better arrest that building before it hits that car.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

in other totally real news: i ALSO rejected a $500 million collab with taylor swift

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

7 months

don’t feel bad, @GovParsonMO ! you may be #9 on this list of worst governors, but you’ll always be #1 on MY list.

Ball don't lie

@Balldon64307120

7 months

The 10 worst Governors in the US. 1. Greg Abbott- TX 2. Ron DeSantis- FL 3. Sarah Huckabee Sanders- AR 4. Tate Reeves- MS 5. Bill Lee- TN 6. Glenn Youngkin-VA 7. Kevin Stitt-OK 8. Jim Pillen-NE 9. Mike Parson-MO 10. Eric Holcomb-IN No explanation is needed.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 year

god damn mother fucking piece of shit mother fucker

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

22 days

the vacation begins! #kimand12doKC

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

monday morning reminder

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

for those interested, i have joined [redacted] company as their newest [redacted].

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 years

i’m going to need someone to explain jake’s hair on this reunion show. #ultimatum

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

11 months

the literal missouri department of health suggests covid vaccines “if you’re into that sort of thing.”

Missouri Department of Health & Senior Services

@HealthyLivingMo

11 months

COVID vaccines will be available in Missouri soon, if you're in to that sort of thing. If not, just keep scrolling!

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

i couldn’t get my alarm clock to stop going off at 4am, so i yanked it out of the wall. when that didn’t work, i ripped the batteries out. when THAT didn’t work, i started to suspect a demon, but it turns out my alarm was actually on my phone. i’m doing great.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

20 days

america needs lesbian farmers! thanks @RAYGUNshirts !

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 years

who’s 17 years sober today? this broad. (6,205 days if you’re counting)

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

11 months

this state is being run by children

Jake Jackson

@realjakejacks

11 months

@billeigel and @NickBSchroer torching the woke liberal agenda 🔥🔥 #mogov

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 months

wearing the brightest pants i could find

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 year

hey @MissouriGOP - how much time and money did you spend keeping my son from playing soccer while you ignored every other child in this state?

St. Louis Post-Dispatch

@stltoday

1 year

Child exploitation cases up 50% in eastern Missouri. Experts call it ‘epidemic of our time.’

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

i’d like this storm a lot more if there wasn’t a wall of windows behind me #stlwx

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

10 months

don’t forget to #thankarepublican

St. Louis Post-Dispatch

@stltoday

10 months

Missouri now ranks No. 3 among states that have banned books in schools over the last year, according to a PEN America report released Thursday.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

11 days

so NOW will the media start talking about trump needing to drop out because of HIS age and impairment?

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

if i’m going to get kicked out of a transphobic fb group, i’m going to do it in a blaze of reports to zuck. #TransRightsAreHumanRights

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

i just heard back from the vet! the growth on daisy wasn't cancerous! she's just a really expensive germfest!

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

11 months

does anyone else hear rice a roni and automatically think “the san francisco treat” or am i just that old?

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 years

i love that everyone thinks a car hit their house. this is how highly we think of st louis drivers. #stlearthquake #stlwx

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

6 months

@LauraAnnSTL i’m so sorry. i have been through this as well and these people are scum rape enthusiasts.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 months

this is my pretty new dress. LOOK AT HOW PRETTY IT IS.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

today’s interview look. see you two interviews from now!

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

8 days

The Associated Press

@AP

9 days

Missouri prison ignores court order to free wrongfully convicted inmate for second time in weeks

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 months

my basement partner tonight

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

6 months

don’t forget to thank a missouri republican for making guns so accessible and gun safety so non-existent #kansascity

R A W S A L E R T S

@rawsalerts

6 months

🚨 #BREAKING : New Footage Captures Shots Fired Live on TV During Super Bowl Victory Parade Broadcast 📌 #KansasCity | #Missouri Witness chilling new footage capturing the moment multiple rounds were fired near Union Station during the Super Bowl victory parade in Downtown

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

5 months

happy #DaylightSavingsTime tonight

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

missouri republicans want it be known that they also very badly want to shoot puppies

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

5 months

i’ve never heard a better explanation of alpha males.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

i just read a stat that 70% of people have experienced at least one traumatic event in their life. so, 30% of y'all are just having trauma-free lives? like, what do you do with all that time and energy you don't spend on trauma response?

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

8 months

do you tell your pets goodbye when you leave? that’s a normal thing, right?

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

this train has been at a standstill (and in my backyard) in #affton since last night. lovely.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 month

HE’S HOME FROM CAMP!!

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 month

i think y’all were spot on about the green

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

12 days

y’all i had such a great time last night partying with the best people. i’m so grateful to have this life ❤️

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

happy friday to everyone except that bitch tricia from second grade who invited every girl in class to her slumber party except me.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 years

my mom is watching my son today. she posted this photo of him on facebook, using his correct name and pronouns and i’m just crying. #transrightsarehumanrights #transisbeautiful

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 years

rocket von doom passed this evening. i had the pleasure of being her human for over 14 years and i don’t know what to do with myself. #rocketvondoom #ceilingghosts

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 year

gang, this is fantastic.

Home | Senator Mike Moon

www.senatormikemoon.com

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

@meaccoleman @GovParsonMO please explain this to me - taxpayer money wasn’t being used on abortions in missouri; you know they’re outlawed. you just took away medical care for lower income women. what are they supposed to do now? why don’t you care about them?

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

the apple pie i made for my mom #HappyMothersDay

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

i hope some day i get to meet the missouri republicans who know my health better than me so i can ask them to look at this weird rash.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

5 months

rocket was my #dipper . i’ll say it again: dogs deserve to live forever.

The Daily Show

@TheDailyShow

5 months

Jon Stewart remembers his best boy, Dipper.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

daisy’s home from surgery! and very high!

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

yesterday was a record breaker for the number of times i was called a cunt. i’m pretty damn proud of myself.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

5 months

well, gang, i just lost my job. i’m going to take a little time to feel sorry for myself, but then i’ll be back and ready to take on the world!

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

i made it through the first week! it’s time for brownies! #newjob

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

9 months

@randykopp42 @SBWorkersUnited then you go do it

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

for those confused by numbers, the rejections were the ones received purely on applications, not connected to any interviews.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

26 days

i think it was fate that led me to the arsenal schnucks on my way home this morning. #bigidahopotato #potatotracker

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 years

we paid the fees and got the papers! this pup is stuck with us now!

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

i need at least one of these dresses and somewhere to wear it. schnucks? the movies?

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

27 days

she’s a good girl.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 year

#TransRightAreHumanRights

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 years

my skeletor mug is famous lol

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

tornado sirens going off in #affton so i’m going to stand outside and look around #stlwx

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 year

i would feel 1,000x safer in a bathroom with a trans woman over a republican congressman. ANY DAY.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

8 months

THIS IS NOT A DRILL the weinermobile is at the affton schnucks!

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 years

meet @BobOnderMO . he thinks my trans child doesn’t deserve to get the medical care he needs. here’s bob’s contact info. #TransRightsAreHumanRights #trans

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

18 days

update: still a good girl.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 months

twitter old folks home: drop a selfie with your age if you’re over 30. 46…for now.

Dan @ GenCon

@deefuzz

2 months

Twitter old folks home: drop a selfie with your age if you’re over 30. 44 here.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 year

@GovParsonMO tell me again how many kids are being “disadvantaged” by trans kids playing sports? and THEN tell me how many children have been murdered in missouri due to your gun policies?

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

i AM this old #genx #90s

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 years

remember when i said daisy was adopted? she wasn’t. but now she is ❤️

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

have i mentioned how much i love interviews? #letsgo #unemployment

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

11 months

i met someone who said “i don’t know anything about politics and i don’t want to” and i was blown away at how luxurious it must be to NOT care about politics

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

10 days

kamala raised 81 MILLION DOLLARS in her first 24 hours as a presidential candidate. bitches get shit done.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

i couldn’t get a great photo, but my kid is the one in black motioning emphatically on stage. he did such a good job in the play tonight and i am the proudest mom.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

thanks everyone for the well wishes and odd offers to brush my hair - the first day went great! i guess i have to go back today though too? jobs are weird.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

i got caught in the rain and nearly drowned, but this shirt came in the mail so i’m guess i’m glad i lived

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

6 months

i cannot suggest enough to STAY HOME. cars are sliding everywhere and getting stuck. BE CAREFUL. #stlwx

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 months

SCREAMING IN MY CAR!! YESS!

Kaitlan Collins

@kaitlancollins

2 months

TRUMP IS FOUND GUILTY ON ALL COUNTS.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 year

if you’re near river des peres and chippewa, watch out. the road has exploded.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

10 months

WE ARE HERE #towergrovepride

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 years

one year ago, i responded to a random person’s tweet. tonight, we’re celebrating our one year anniversary.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

daisy is having surgery today. it’s not major, but she’s a little nervous and i’m a lot nervous. so please think some positive (paw-sitive) thoughts for the two of us girls (grrrrrls).

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 year

oh wow. if you didn’t think @realmikemoon ⁩’s approval of child rape was disturbing, check out him dismembering a chicken to ridiculously try to make his point about abortion.

Rep. Mike Moon beheads, dismembers chicken to make a point about abortion

Rep. Mike Moon, R-Ash Grove, is a staunch abortion opponent. He posted a video to Facebook on Monday in which he beheads a chicken to make a point about the special session called by Gov. Eric...

www.news-leader.com

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

10 days

biden doing this right after the rnc convention, right after trumps’s vp pick, completely stealing his thunder, is really the best going away gift.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 months

happiest dogs at doggie daycare this week! 1/3

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

5 months

this morning i slowed down in the school zone due to the flashing yellow 30mph sign. the truck behind me was unhappy and sped by me, yelling something. i put my window down and said "it's a school zone, dude!" his response? "f*** you, you motherf****** c***!" i love #affton .

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

1 year

current status: lost in busch stadium

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

19 days

bill here doesn’t understand the difference between trans and drag because he’s uneducated and he doesn’t care and he hates what he doesn’t understand.

Bill Eigel

@BillEigel

20 days

When I’m governor, and the woke liberals bring transgender drag queens into our elementary schools, I won’t call the legislature. I’ll call in the Highway Patrol and arrest every one of them allowing that kind of child abuse to happen. 📍 Windsor, MO

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

10 months

this was an adventure. my findings: 1. regular: good 2. dark: fine 3. white: sure, ok 4. birthday cake: sprinkles made it gross 5. churro: looked like sunscreen, tasted like wax 6. mint: was like a thin mint. thumbs up. 7. strawberry/dark choc: would rather die than eat again.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

2 years

that time i grew a whole dog in my garden (i miss her, bear with me just a little while longer)

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

3 months

the cicadas are covering my tree and they’re on the ground and in the grass and OHMYGOD #stl

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

7 months

while digging through my basement, i found this photo of my late sister and me on my wedding day (she was my matron of honor). i haven’t seen this photo in years. she was so beautiful.

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kim kelley

@mskimkelley

4 years

@pattonoswalt they have a great contact form. it would be a shame if we didn’t let him know our opinions

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