maria🦝 @mariamainmo Twitter profile

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

"What do your tattoos mean?" That I had $200 and no one stopped me

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

9 months

When your bestie is about to do something she’ll regret but it’s gonna be really funny

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

No drugs can even compare to this

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

Girls don't want boys. They want the covid vaccine and a nice apartment

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

This is what boys being boys should mean

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

They took the midnight snake goin anywhere

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

He’s in finance (derogatory)

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

1 year

My parents: you’ll get more conservative as you get older Me, older:

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

11 months

This is the ideal body type

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

8 months

I will stop using lol as punctuation as soon as they come up with a punctuation mark that conveys my need to be liked

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

No one: Musical theater girls taking a picture:

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

What if we kissed on the jhair

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

11 months

Male comedians after you tell them they can’t say a slur

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

A road less traveled: Robert Frost:

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

My fat ass thought these were glazed donuts

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

7 months

Neurodivergent ppl will be like “she saved my life” and it’s just a small spoon

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

1 year

Watching the writers strike

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Me at 13: oh my god that boy is soooo hot The boy:

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

“You haven’t done the right drugs” you haven’t played with the right parachute

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Kiss me on the jed

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Pls show me your tattoos I think they're all amazing

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Someone on Facebook tried to shave their cat and failed after the neck

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

Do you guys think they’re ready to make banana bread yet?

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

It started out as a bit how did it end up like this? It was only a bit 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂 𝓪 𝓫𝓲𝓽

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Not girl summer

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

We have to go back

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

Many have said it but I’ll say it too: SHE’s in finance (extremely complimentary)

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Croc and ball torture

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

A group of men is called a menace

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

The feminine urge to grow gills and return to the sea

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

Yeah can I get uhhhhhhh basic human rights?

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

@KaufmanAudrey Apparently audacity is very expensive

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

Oh you're a writer? Show me your 56 untitled documents containing fragments of pieces that you've forgotten about

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

A road less traveled: Robert Frost:

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Excuse me its what now

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Now that's a good deal

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

Someone should write a musical about Alexander Hamilton

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Get on, babe. We're going to Applebee's

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

7 months

I got a job offer can we get a W in the chat

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

1 year

This is all girls want

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Watching the soup man ladle out my soup

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

oh, you're a writer? Show me your 57 untitled blank documents that you really did have ideas for

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Yes this is the doll from Twilight

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

they really nailed it with the word phlegm. that's exactly what that stuff is

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Country girls make do

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

He's your accountant. Do you trust him?

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

Southwest Airlines trying to fix their tech

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

Hedge fund? I actually prefer hedge fun

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

@kristoferthomas

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

You can't bodyshame me, I was on Tumblr in 2012

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

no drug will ever compare to the high of telling a drunk stranger to break up with her shitty boyfriend

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

I love you all

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

When my husband gets fries

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

@theglennisshow Somehow, it’s not just Netflix. I finished watching an animated comedy on Hulu and it immediately started playing a horror series from my list and I was like ??

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

Me and the girls on the way to hype each other up in the bathroom of the bar

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

Kiss me on the jed

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

This is a fetus 6 weeks after conception. Still think abortion is cool?

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Who up who getting married today (it's me I'm getting married today)

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

You know what's hot? Me

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Just reflecting on how good I looked for my wedding

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

The ability to listen leaving my body as someone explains a card game to me

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

Still waiting for the finance bros to find this

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

1 year

High rise jeans are getting out of control

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

No one: Musical theater girls taking a picture:

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Renegade Cullen going into Bella and Edward's room to ask for more people juice

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Ever have one of those days where you feel like a ps1 spyro character?

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

6 months

MY MOM IS CANCER FREE!!!!!

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Everyone tell me what a cute tattoo I got

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

New year, new me

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

My sister-in-law made outfits for her chicks

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

@Dobrenkz "I never said any of this"

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Call me Mrs 💍

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

is going to start tweeting like it's 2009 Facebook

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

"You were so fun back then" Me back then:

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Going for burgers anyone want anything?

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Me trying to fit into skinny jeans

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

I could fix him

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

Y'all... my fiance and I bought a fuckin home today. That's cool as heck

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

8 months

The English language needs to evolve faster

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

When I say I live in Georgia this is what I mean

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

1 year

This is my Roman Empire

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Mistake? No, no:

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

“Cancel culture is ruining this country” regular culture already did that, babe

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

No one: Gift ideas for men:

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Going to hell anyone need anything?

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

2 years

Some of you need to remember it’s a joke not a spreadsheet don’t take it so seriously

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

My husband sent me this should I be concerned?

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

4 years

@Dobrenkz You mean he wouldn't like Musical Theater Rap™

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Would you hire him?

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

Is he hot or is he 6 raccoons in a trench coat

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

It's too hot to do anything outside and too covid to do anything inside and this is what living in the south is like

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maria🦝

@mariamainmo

3 years

"I wanna be a nurse" -the least caring girl you've ever met

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