sending a message with plans in the chat is like introducing a bill in congress. i’ve already secured my support behind the scenes in the subcommittee by the time it makes it into the full group
“i’m moving to new york” okay well i just moved in to the biggest apartment i’ve ever lived in with a dishwasher and in building laundry, a backyard with a grill, walkable access to transit, groceries, and nightlife, ten minutes from the beach. and im paying $850 / month
@dannyindespair
housing density creates walkable communities and reduces energy consumption and costs :) i have no problem sharing space with friends! they are my family
morty really had to send an email to the entire nu community and make it seem like being called “piggy” was anti semitic bc his wittle feelings were hurt meanwhile he continues to employ a literal holocaust denier
my mom has breast cancer. this morning, my dad got down on one knee at the end of opening presents, told her how much he loved her and how he knows they’ve been through so much recently, and opened a beautiful diamond studded second engagement ring. i am still crying
what is the deal with everyone having relationships europe plans and post grad opportunities i thought we were all doing this lost in our 20’s thing together
@beachhhousefan
here she is in some of her glory, unfortunately we have no art up on the walls yet, a lack luster coffee table, and have yet to fill our built-ins
y’all … 97.91% percentile of possible matches .. immediate reach out, amusing lead but not too cheesy.. mutual friends .. in my year … attractive … r u kidding me
there has got to be some oceans 8 shit happening in plex. that’s a moral heist. you cannot tell me a team of people did not plan this and look hot doing it
@oatmilkmotel
i think there are just more people than u think who have $600 to spend. like she’s been my
#1
artist on spotify for five years running, i went to the red & 1989 tours, i grew up with her music and watched her change & grow in sound, and i’ll spend $300 MAX i’m on a budget
came out to my brother this weekend and his response was “why the fuck would i care” and that is simply the most sibling response that could have ever have happened
one time i lived in a house with three blonde sorority girls and they made a fake tinder account to assess other girls profiles. i was making dinner in the kitchen and saw my own tinder profile show up projected on the television screen. this was my personal hell
the investigative journalism i just did to uncover that a guy i took advanced intermediate french w freshman year is now on the hype house television show as an “assistant.” his name is nick holterman and his instagram is public if anyone wants to stalk him, was in sig chi & nstv
y’all i was told like freshman or sophomore year that brewbike was going under and one of the guys who started it literally got money from his frat as treasurer to bail it out like she’s BEEN sinking
once again. all my love to the quirky oat milk phoebe bridgers northwestern bisexuals! but can someone from the girls lacrosse team please for the love of god give me an ounce of attention.
fun fact: northwestern actually got the idea for their somewhat controversial, well known AND is in our DNA advertising campaign from being divergent! you, too, can be part of every faction!
the mustache man with a slightly above average sense of style and decor in his room is never dating an alt girl he’s dating a previous kappa and she’s exceptionally normal and they are very happy. get with it
how come when fleabag ruins her life it’s like beautiful and relatable and “irreverent entertainment” and when i do it’s just like ok there goes my participation grades and all of my self respect
i will never forget seeing my own tinder profile airplayed on a television in the house of three blonde sorority girls i was subletting the basement of. i burnt my stomach from sloshing hot milk out of my mac and cheese pot in fear
hot trader joe’s cashier complimented my sweater, said it was a “great color on me” and then said “if you ever want to get rid of it circle back to this trader joe’s” i -
once i get a new job and a new apartment and quit vaping and work out consistently and get to the farmers market every week and get outside more and spend less time on my phone and drink in moderation and
best tip i’ve EVER discovered for late night frantic thoughts that i feel like i have to deal with immediately: throw a pillow off my bed and let the thought go with it. in the morning i see the pillow and remember to renew my parking pass, respond to that text, etc.
i thought vine was as amusing as the next person but people who constantly repeat vines in this day and age are in the same category as like fans of the office for me .. sorry it needed to be said
currently: a block cop coming into bobs pizza after a girl wearing a confederate flag kimono called 911 because people were “harassing” her. a lot to unpack this evening
an unexpected side effect of working at sofo is knowing exactly which students have enough money to front thousands of dollars for their fucking theater group
the problem with going on actual dates is that if i get bored i go full medill and start asking nuanced complex questions and suddenly i’m having fun and the person is exceedingly boring im just a journalist. like can we just hookup instead
i'm about to "omg babe i'm so sorry about foxtrot" my way into stealing a lakeview east bisexual girlfriend from her big ten transplant boyfriend who doesn't care if she lives or dies