madds, not mads @maddylanier Twitter profile

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

1 year

free palestine, tonight and forever. goodnight! ❤️

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

5 years

me: trump is impeach- republicans on twitter: you stupid fucking bitch that doesn’t mean he’s removed from office. someone didn’t pay attention in high school civics you RAT

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

my therapist: h- me:

The Hill

@thehill

8 years

Trump: "I’m so stable you wouldn’t believe it"

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@maddylanier

3 years

three years ago today my bf went through my phone while i was asleep and kicked me out of his house at 2 am not because i was cheating but because i was complaining about him in the group chat and said he was being fucking annoying 😭😭😭

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@maddylanier

7 months

my therapist: cera michelle gellar can’t hurt you, he’s not real my brain:

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

8 years

I wanna hear one more republican parent complain about Malia Obama like their son isn't doing lines of cocaine in a frat house before church

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

this how y’all look with those presets but y’all aren’t ready for that conversation

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

11 months

matt rife is what happens when we stop bullying men and let them have a crumb of confidence

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

welcome to the club bitch

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

once i talked to a guy whose long term ex girlfriend looks JUST like me & now i follow her on IG & it’s like looking in a mirror except she does a lot of fruit smoothie bullshit & works out regularly & i smoke weed in bathtubs & wake up in unknown places. glad she’s doing well

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@maddylanier

6 years

dads teaching their kids how to drive: it’s ok:) just try again until you get it:) you’re doing great! moms teaching their kids how to drive: fucking idiot you’re going to kill us. holy shit stop going 2 mph over can you not read the fucking sign, did i give birth to a walnut???

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@maddylanier

3 years

i would literally tase this man if he talked to me in a bar

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@maddylanier

6 years

moved 14 hours away to boston, quit my urgent care job to work at the museum of science so i can teach the youth (especially girls) that science is cool and fun all because i got high and realized that i really fucking love outer space. 2019 really be like that

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

8 years

Imagine being so angry at women for using a filter that you literally want to kill them. Yikes

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@maddylanier

5 years

@JOnotsky i will literally give you $100 if you can point to me where i’ve said he’s removed from office. otherwise suck my dick

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

8 years

when i die play my finsta on a projector at my funeral so i can disappoint my family one more time

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@maddylanier

10 months

me after spending $400 at target

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

i’m tired of seeing non conservative women on this site. this is the ideal way i want a proper woman to dress and live: - one prozac a day - husband’s a CPA - dreams went out the door when she turned 24 - only been with one man - no plan - yellow SUV

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

3 years

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

3 years

muting this and turning off replies because some of y’all seem to find a bigger issue with me venting to my friends over something trivial than a grown ass man going through my phone while i was asleep and you are telling on yourselves 💛

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@maddylanier

9 years

You can tell how bad someone's last relationship was by how loudly they yell "cancel out my ex I put a line through that bitch" in My Way

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@maddylanier

3 years

@alyssa_schoener it was so funny he was like “so you think i’m fucking annoying huh?” and it’s like yes bestie i said what i said 😌

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

9 years

If Kourtney Kardashian can get cheated on nobody is safe

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

2 years

starting a support group for people with dysfunctional families that are dating someone who has two good parents

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@maddylanier

6 years

some of you have never drunkenly thrown up in a car and it shows

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

8 years

to every girl voting trump.. babygirl y'all have GOT to stop supporting him for approval from men who wear pastel shorts and pay $25 a g

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@maddylanier

6 years

cat dads are the superior men and the only ones i will not immediately throw to the wolves when i become leader of the free world and turn this into a matriarchy

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@maddylanier

2 years

the produce that’s been sitting in my fridge for a week deciding who’s gonna go bad first

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

maybe i’ll date a blonde boy this year dark haired men just hurt me

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@maddylanier

6 years

i came back to my room and i find my dog snugly underneath the covers with her eyes closed like she had a long day working to pay bills or something. like are you serious macy literally all you do is hoard snacks and growl at men

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@maddylanier

7 years

how this pic text me "wyd" at 2 am for missionary sex

Breeze

@BrytonDawgin10

7 years

THIS IS THE OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE FOR THE WAVE TAPE. DROPPING AUGUST 4th AT 9PM

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@maddylanier

3 years

once again my unresolved trauma is causing a ruckus in my personal life

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@maddylanier

8 months

sea✰

@destroynectar

8 months

What video is the reason they shouldn’t ban TikTok?

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@maddylanier

7 years

ex bfs are too creative with getting ur attention. mine texted me today asking how Weimar, my fav shark on my shark tracking app, was doing

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@maddylanier

8 years

Blac Chyna truly tweeted Rob's number so he could change it and other girls wouldn't be texting his new one... I'm screaming

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@maddylanier

6 years

i’m on the subway and this frat boy (1) asked another frat boy (2) where his jacket is and frat boy 2 goes “nah bro its the first day of spring and i asked alexa how cold it was outside and she said 36 degrees so i said fuck it” and this is the worst conversation i’ve ever heard

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@maddylanier

7 years

job interviewer: do you recall tweeting "fuck this job they can eat my ass" me:

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

7 years

My use of social media is not Presidential - it’s MODERN DAY PRESIDENTIAL. Make America Great Again!

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@maddylanier

6 years

the only men who feel sick are guys who treated their gfs like shit for years only to see them happy in their new relationships. thank you for coming to my TED talk.

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

alexa do whatever the fuck you have to do to bring light and positivity to ariana grande

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

5 years

my brother’s girlfriend was cheating on him and she’s on his phone bill and my mom just venmo’d my brother the amount it would cost to deactivate hers early because she hates her so much hahahahahah

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@maddylanier

7 years

i'm never texting an athlete ever again

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

every day i think about the fact that Chris Martin wrote Fix You for Gwyneth Paltrow and they still ended up getting divorced

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

your WCW doesn't know the difference between climate and weather

Tomi Lahren

@TomiLahren

7 years

Hey liberals, this is what we are fighting against while you fight weather. #londonbridge

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@maddylanier

8 years

stop worrying about Malia Obama in a bar & worry about ya son who thinks coral polos & periwinkle shorts with boat shoes is a good look

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

8 months

is there a field i can join that’s like the opposite of PR? i would be really good at making someone look worse online

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@maddylanier

6 years

i retell a lot of the same stories to my friends because i get excited easily so whenever someone stops me midway and says “you already told me” it makes me never want to speak again lol

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

when i become ruler of the free world I’m making all men have mandated therapy hours to heal from whatever their middle school girlfriend did to them so they stop treating other women like their collateral damage

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@maddylanier

3 years

john mayer count your fucking days

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

i don’t give a SHIT about your thoughts regarding abortion unless they are as follows: women have the right to their own god damn body and owe absolutely nobody an explanation for it. do not fucking @ me.

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

republicans, frat boys, ppl who don't tip their servers, anyone who gets their steak well done, trump supporters

Daily Star

@dailystar

7 years

Five things that should NEVER go near your vagina

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@maddylanier

7 years

republicans

Daily Star

@dailystar

7 years

Five things that should NEVER go near your vagina

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@maddylanier

8 years

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

3 years

why is everyone on this site so miserable i need five reasons why you would spend 280 characters talking shit about people and their matching pjs

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

the venn diagram of women who love christian grey and have boring republican missionary sex is a circle. there i said it

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@maddylanier

6 years

get the fuck away from me if you think 13 reasons why was a quality tv show or anything relatively close to advocation for mental illness

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

i would stake my degree on the fact that not a single one of these dudes could differentiate between the uterus and vagina if given a diagram

Laura Ingraham

@IngrahamAngle

6 years

They are our only hope. So proud of the #prolifegeneration

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@maddylanier

3 years

last night at the bar a man came up to me and said “i’m so sorry if this is disrespectful but me and my friends have a bet for over/under how much you weigh” and i would just like to say that under no circumstance should you ever fucking say that to a person

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

5 years

@HotmessintheChi i see it EVERYWHERE like homie we know he’s still in office???

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

is everything okay at home

The Big Ragù

@WillGalloway7

7 years

Yum yum sauce is absolute garbage. So much hype for nothing.

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@maddylanier

6 years

this is so sad alexa play God is a woman

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

how do i tell a guy i can’t hang out because i’m fucking miserable without letting him know i have a personality disorder

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

you: fake religious, doesn't party but judges homeless ppl me: trash who does illegal things but still reaches out to better the community

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@maddylanier

8 years

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

“if you don’t like him why don’t you just say no?”

Chicago Tribune

@chicagotribune

6 years

Texas school shooter killed girl who turned him down and embarrassed him in class, her mother says

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

8 years

"everyone wants a powerful woman until you start dating her and realize you have to step your own self up."

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

5 years

imagine giving up your dream job for a man who once referred to you as “just a waitress”

Netflix UK & Ireland

@NetflixUK

5 years

15 years ago today, she got off the plane

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@maddylanier

6 years

girls who kill the spiders in their apartments with the help of no man are braver than the us marines

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

goddamnit which salty man did i reject this time

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

5 years

hey so i’ve never spoken about this except for privately to my friends, but i had an abortion once. it wasn’t from rape or a terrible circumstance that took away my bodily autonomy. i had just as much right to terminate a pregnancy as ones who suffered something tragic.

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

omg i tried to put a desk together while high

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

no, he’ll ruin your fucking life in the name of collateral damage

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

RT if you have an active sex life and still think men are trash

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

4 years

this is not reformable.

Jo⚔️

@ShrimpBrizkit97

4 years

@_mishamish Mobile PD and Mobile’s sheriffs department are more concerned with taking things from homeless people and decorating a tree with “thugshots”

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@maddylanier

6 years

i did apply for a position at a science museum even though i have no experience teaching the youth but sometimes you gotta have the confidence of a white man applying for jobs!!!

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@maddylanier

4 years

he has returned to me and brought me snoop dog wine, all is forgiven

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

i found my 6 year old sister's texts to her boyfriend and i am CRYING! me as hell!

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

3 years

apple maps just suggested his house as a frequent location im shaking and crying and throwing up i’m really off the streets bad

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

i'm crying this frat boy asked to hang & i go "why, so we can fuck once & you ghost me?" he goes "we'll fuck at least 2x" i hate yall so bad

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

break up with your boyfriend he voted for donald trump

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@maddylanier

2 years

im mentally ill and love attention so bold of them to think i won’t go scorched earth and kill myself in front of the supreme court if i ever didn’t have access to an abortion

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

2 years

you don’t need a tragic anecdote to earn the right to an abortion

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@maddylanier

6 years

one??? bottle of champagne????? girls on gameday do this every saturday by 9 am

Insider Food

@insiderfood

6 years

Could you finish this massive mimosa? 🍾

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@maddylanier

4 years

trump telling his cult like followers for months that mail in ballots are unreliable and now the republicans are confused as to why the mail in ballots are overwhelmingly biden 😐 critical thinking is kicking yalls ass huh

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@maddylanier

5 years

snapchat reminded me that two years ago today i was so sad and grieving the loss of my dad and on too many drugs to even be a human being, but today i’m sober aside from weed and not depressed! well hello! let’s celebrate that

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

i was trying to buy weed and this man told me his price and goes “i really should charge more but i prayed and God told me i should be less greedy so here i am.” LMFAOOOOOO what 😭

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

i know a high schooler tweeted this because the rest of us social media veterans had myspace and BEEN knew about this

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

goodnight

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

8 years

me: hi student athlete: TIRED? you're TIRED? excuse me i had a 3:37 am workout & 4:17 am protein shake you don't get to be tired I AM TIRE-

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

for women’s history month i will be bullying men more than usual

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

all republicans do is take away free and reduced lunches for kids, have missionary sex, and wear pastel colored shorts

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

8 years

USC girls i see y'all hoes crying about the coral reef like u care about the environment & then throwing beer cans on the ground at memorial

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

5 years

call me old fashioned, but i was raised to take care of my husband make his plate every night, wash his work clothes for him, spiral and jeopardize my mental stability, become a middle aged woman with a xanax and wine problem. and that’s exactly wife i will be.

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

thinking ab a boy i “dated” when i was 14 who asked me for pictures of my feet for a school project and i didn’t understand at the time so i naively sent them now i know

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

anyone: hi me: Huntington, West Virginia's OD rate is 10x the national rate & nobody cares except the people living there & they need help

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

8 years

every time a non WVU student tweets about how much fun their school is, there's a WVU student shotgunning 12 beers to prove they're better

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

me: nursing major: i haven't slept in 9 days. i might as well pay rent at the library. don't even think about thinking that your work load is half as tough as mine goddamnit ill shove an IV up your ass

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

7 years

random guy: smashes beer can on his head, only texts me at 2 am. me:

Demi Lovato

@ddlovato

7 years

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@maddylanier

6 years

whenever i accidentally go the wrong way on the subway and end up in a strange place i can’t stop thinking of that one episode of spongebob. y’all know the one

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madds, not mads

@maddylanier

6 years

my mom just told me my little sister carries around my old purses that i’ve left at home because she wants to be like me

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