Born and raised in The 'Ville. Raising the famous Finck Twins on The Plains. Senior Lecturer. Bourbon enthusiast. President of the Over 40 Good Hair Society.
Dear Auburn Jesus, I’ve never asked you for anything ever, but I need a favor. Let the Tigers find a way to win today so that our AD has no choice but to offer
@CoachCaddy24
the full time job. I don’t care if he’s the “best” option, I just want a coach I can be proud of.
#WDE
Sometimes I sit and think about AU and those nights walking down magnolia at 2:30 am little italys sauce on my shirt sky bar cooties on my shoes and not a worry in the world except for a
@macyfinck
Econ test on Monday. Man *sighs* good times *sips coffee* *stares into distance*
Have you ever been near the doors of Lowder 113A during a class change? 300 people try to exit through a tiny corridor where 300 other people are standing and waiting to get in. Might as well be the Boom Boom Room
Had another former student over for dinner. Apparently he participated in something called a “Final Four.” I’m not sure what that is, but it sounded fascinating.
Y’all finally convinced me. We do have a mental health problem in this country. Because every single one of you who thinks that the other political party is the source of all our problems, and your political party has all the answers, needs to get your damn head checked.
My fall classes are gonna be online. I know that blows, but I don’t know how to get 300 students in/out of Lowder 113A safely. I’m gonna record fresh lectures that you can watch on your own time and I’ll be available for office appointments. This too shall pass, fam.
Gentlemen: I’m tired of having to say this. If you think this is okay, take your sick, twisted head and pathetic lack of game far away from my campus. Do not call yourself an Auburn man. Hell, don’t call yourself a man at all.
I know way, way more Bama girls who have married Auburn men than Auburn women who have married Bama boys. That’s not even hate. It’s just a fact. Get you an Auburn man, ladies.
When the late, great Jim Fyffe passed in 2003, I remember thinking “listening to Auburn games will never be the same” but the transition to Rod Bramblett was seamless. He stepped into those massive shoes like they were made for him. The Auburn family has lost its patriarch.
#RIP
If Auburn beats UK tomorrow without Chuma, then on Monday I will — still not cancel classes. But I’ll make all of my PowerPoints for the next exam available on Canvas.
I probably saw >25 students in my office today. Every single one was wearing a mask when they came in. Only one asked to take his off. (I said no.)
Just wanted to offer a counter to the “college students are the worst” sentiment that is dominating my TL
Y’all ever feel like Auburn is the Disney World of universities? Not because it’s magical, because it’s expensive, overcrowded and constantly under construction.
Dear Auburn Fam:
Let’s not this morning. Let’s not bitch about play calling. Let’s not talk about completion percentages. Let’s not worry about what that other school is doing. Let’s just savor a moment. Let’s praise our boys for a damn fine win. War Eagle Forever
Undefeated in the SEC. The first team to beat Bama hoops at home. The second school to beat Alabama athletics in a 24 hour period. All of those work for me.
Dammit, Auburn Twitter and all your toxicity. It’s so “toxic” tonight that it’s gotten a bit dusty in here at least 3 times while scrolling through the TL. I love every one of you crazy bastards. Tigers by 90.
#WDE
Yesterday I had a student tell me that my class is the first that he’s ever looked forward to coming to in 18 years of schooling. Sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that you’re doing the thing that you were put on this earth to do.
Auburn Twitter: Do not mistake a lack of faith in the coaching for a lack of support for the players. Looking at the traffic on campus this afternoon, not a damn one of us has quit on this team.
This 👇. Also, I earned my PhD from Auburn, then landed my dream job at Auburn. And married an Auburn woman. And now I’m raising two tiny Auburn fans and hopefully future Auburn grads. War. Damn. Everything.
“Y’all can’t use the crane kick pose! That’s our thing! That’s classless!” —Bama fans who were definitely ready to spam the
@AuburnMBB
Twitter account with memes if they had won
We lost my mother-in-law in the middle of last semester. Only one of my 100s of students at the time checked on the well-being of me and my family. Tonight
@walker_white5
was the first football player to join Finck’s Favorites and we are his biggest fans on and off the field.
Life was so much simpler when we were all just tryna get this bread instead of tryna get this bread, meat, milk, toilet paper, Lysol, hand sanitizer, and canned vegetables.
I have watched KD’s first half three-pointer celebration infuriate the Bama bench four times this morning. Yet another masterpiece in his favorite medium. Picasso used paint, Michelangelo used marble, and KD makes art out of chaos
There’s an ad on my Insta for a College Towns collection of Homesick candles. There isn’t an Auburn candle but there is an Athens one. I assume it smells like piss, cheap beer and an inflated sense of importance.
Two more sleeps until I cry in front of my wife, kids and best friend when
@CoachCaddy24
leads my Tigers onto Pat Dye Field at Jordan-Hare Stadium for the first time
Piece of conversation I overheard as I passed two students on the way to my class:
“I heard he’s chill as shit, so —“
“And there he is!”
“Huh?”
Dr. Chill As Shit. Nice to meet you 😂
Bama fans are going to complain about the discrepancy in fouls, but Bama is mugging Auburn on every play. They could call twice as many if they wanted.
Saw a girl walking to class in a Georgia shirt. If she comes to my class, can I make her go to the bathroom and turn it inside out like they used to do in high school if your shirt had a cuss word on it?
Dear 8lb, 6oz newborn baby Jesus: Please let the Iron Bowl end with Saban sending a man deep to return a 57 yard
#Legatron
FG attempt only to watch it split the uprights for the AU win.
I feel like Old Yeller but the kid accidentally shot me in the leg twice, had to reload, realized he was out of ammo, and the general store won’t have any more in stock until next week.
Did you have that one kid in your neighborhood who could beat all the other kids in one-on-one most of the time but every single time he lost he complained about something not being fair?
That kid grew up to be Nick Saban.
Lately, every time a student gets stumped they say “I’m overthinking this.” This seems to be a way of dodging accountability, as if the only reason you are struggling is because you are TOO prepared. You’re probably underthinking it. Give yourself less credit.
This. I’ve been at Auburn for 21 years. I never had a personal connection with anyone in the athletic department (not counting students) before the Malzahns. Keep your gloating off my TL. I am very upset I’m losing my friends. Love you,
@kristi_malzahn
I appreciate the commentators suggesting that Auburn might be the best team in the nation, but can you really say that because we are beating Alabama? I mean, SO many other teams have already done it.
I had a student tell me after today’s exam that my class helped him decide what he wants to do with the rest of his life. Those are the moments. That’s why I still LOVE my job after 19 years.
#WarEagle
Earlier this evening, I started patting my dad belly to the tune of “War Eagle.” There was no music. I wasn’t even humming, let alone singing. Yet out of nowhere, right on cue, my daughter shouted “Go! Go! Go!” And then I melted 🧡💙
#FutureTiger
#WarEagleForver
Auburn is getting bounced from the CWS because of mental mistakes that we are making because we are young and have not been here before. We will NOT make those mistakes next year. It’s great to be an Auburn Tiger.
I want every single student who ever walked through the door of my classroom to know I wish every happiness for you. Well, every student except one. You know who you are.
There’s only like 16 students in Sports so I’m trying to learn names. Today I looked on the wrong side of the room when I called one guy’s name. When he raised his hand, I said “Oh you’re over there. All you white people look the same to me.” It brought the f’n house down
War Eagle, fly down the field,
Ever to conquer, never to yield.
War Eagle, fearless and true.
Fight on you orange and blue.
Go! Go! Go!
On to vict'ry, strike up the band.
Give 'em hell, give 'em hell,
Stand up and yell, hey!
War Eagle, win for Auburn,
Power of Dixieland!
#280Club