LISA CURRY @lisa_curry Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@petit_green_tea

@MothIaa

@UofGuelphOAC

@NieceJanel

@beerbohm_leona

@KyleWenerick

@Reginacortina_

@wslyvh

@falsetto_boy

@bbclovepussy

@stw_pdg

@AhmedTanga37342

@noviyagustin

@KacangSinta

@anahis1311

@4kidsluv_s2

@Haikesicat

@kittycatmira

@openfriendtech

@WxOntario1

@sa_greeno

@tlpty_

@pemburu29769547

@yourinsanebf

@pemburu29769547

@forumpandlr

@shgazze

@Mike1844sn

@seusibrywe75080

@Toukaina_main

@PlazaImperial

@pemburu29769547

@callsign_jinxx

@couples_mot7arr

@neuroticgrlfrnd

@JarusTravels

LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Wow imagine if someone, say perhaps women in red states, had to drive this far for a medical procedure because of someone else’s religious beliefs

Los Angeles Times

@latimes

4 years

He drove more than 600 miles for a haircut. He’s not alone

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

Force me to have a baby?

House Judiciary GOP 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

@JudiciaryGOP

2 years

If they can do it to a former President, imagine what they can do to you.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

What property are these two protecting? They don’t even have a bed frame 😂

Joey R Johnson

@Johnson__joey

2 years

Former US army soldier Eric, 30, and his partner, Morgan, 22, in Lake Forest, California.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

5 years

Every last person who’s locked up for marijuana related offenses needs to be released yesterday

New York Post

@nypost

5 years

Marijuana industry could surpass NFL in revenue by 2020

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

Idea: a captcha before you post a political view but instead of finding buses, you have to correctly identify on a blank map where the country you want to tweet about is located

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

1 year

Every time I saw a wild tweet from Rob Schneider, I recall the (recent) time he was bombing so hard opening for Adam Sandler, that Adam came on the voice of god mic and said “alright buddy, that’s enough” and walked out to take over

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Me: Time to relax and get into bed! The Internet: Wanna read something upsetting first? Me: Yes, obviously.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

In flight entertainment should have a category “movies you can finish before we land” and eliminate titles as you get closer

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

“How can you be so evil to wish death on someone?” - people who cheered when we invaded Iraq

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

Dating apps are so embarrassing. It’s like hey I pressed the little button to let you know I want to have sex with you. Lmk your thoughts!

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Pls enjoy these posts from a trump supporter I went to high school with

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

10 months

“Why don’t women come forward?” “Why are the women who came forward remaining anonymous?”

Deadline Hollywood

@DEADLINE

10 months

Russell Brand Gets Standing Ovation At Wembley Gig As He Defies Rape & Sex Assault Allegations

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

5 months

What I’m not understanding is - if you intentionally destroy your own property to get a tax break, isn’t that tax…fraud?

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

5 months

‘COYOTE VS ACME’ is now expected to be shelved and deleted forever. Warner Bros wanted $75M - $80M for the film and rejected offers from Netflix, Amazon & Paramount, refusing to let them counter-offer. (Source: )

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

No one’s asking for a handout. We paid taxes and now we’re asking for our money back.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

If you’ve taken home nuclear codes, you can now drop them off at any fire station, no questions asked

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

What an inspiring story of what you can achieve if you’re simply one of the most privileged people in the country

The Hollywood Reporter

@THR

7 years

. @LenaDunham was 23 when she sold #Girls to HBO with a page-and-a-half-long pitch, without a character nor a plot

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Went to Disneyland on mushrooms Monday and I’m sad to say my best day of 2020 is now behind me.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Now try the cops who killed Breonna Taylor

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

If you’re a woman in Texas who needs to travel to another state to buy crystals, DM me and I’ll see what I can do to help. I’m sure my friends will as well. I’ve long said that crystals are an important part of women’s health and wellness✨

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Careful, Scott. If your boss sees this she’s gonna fire you for goofing around on the clock

Scott Baio

@ScottBaio

4 years

Fun times at Michael’s Trump Is Still Your President 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 God bless President Trump and God bless America.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Brad Pitt watched me do standup last night and emphatically told me I’m hilarious. Good luck telling me shit ever again!

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

Everyone who was outraged at Hannah Gadsby for "ruining comedy" with Nanette is now defending someone who's spreading misinformation during a global health crisis because he's "pushing boundaries." It's just nice to know which lines we can and cannot cross!

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

HEARTWARMING: Jeff Bezos beaten to death by Amazon workers

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

It’s a shame it’s so dangerous to congregate right now because we should absolutely be rioting

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

10 months

Folks, it’s time to leak every last bad story about Bill Maher

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

My cousin's husband just posted this without a hint of irony. These are the people in charge of Thanksgiving dinner in my family and my friends wonder why I don't go home for the holidays.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

For anyone heartbroken that Drunk History has been cancelled, my dad is continuing the series on his own from his apartment in Tampa.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

8 years

CANNOT believe I just noticed this:

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

6 months

After watching this 20x nonstop, I’ve decided my favorite line is “The manager doesn’t know what’s going on. Haven’t you ever worked anywhere before?”

Scott Seiss

@ScottSeiss

3 years

Part 1 of all of them

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

1 year

@amore_orless How does this city keep getting stupider?

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Next time I’m called for jury duty, I’m going to tell the judge I’ve already made up my mind before the trial. See how that goes.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

They should sell hot dogs on planes

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

10 months

@Vico_battista That makes no sense, you moronic troll

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Where do people even find jobs anymore? Because it’s not on job sites, apparently:

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Why, are they dangerous?

Bloomberg

@business

4 years

Walmart has temporarily pulled ammunition and guns off its shelves ahead of any possible civil unrest that could take place following next week’s election

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

If only there were some way we could be sure that closing states works.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Who cares? They’re dead. We’re in charge now.

Rep. Mike Loychik

@MikeLoychik

3 years

The founders never intended for Washington DC to become a state.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

One time a friend asked what I thought of a guy and I said he’s hideous and she said no I meant for me and then I just went silent and they’re engaged now

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

I’ve honed a new parlor trick where you show me a picture of what you did over the weekend and I tell you whether you have covid

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Heartbreaking day. Had to unfollow Tonya Harding on IG bc she’s a Covid denier 🙁⛸

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

7 years

The residents of Flint deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for refraining from rioting and burning the entire city to the ground.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

I can’t believe people keep getting Covid in the exact way that doctors have been warning us it’s transmitted. It’s like magic!

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

If you’ve never sat on one of these couches, you’re part of the 1%

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

It’s the most wicked irony that conservatives are scared of Muslim immigrants trying to impose Sharia law in the US whilst passing laws that strip women of their freedom and autonomy, all under the cover of Christianity

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Whether or not a person is vaccinated is as much a personal decision as is drunk driving

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

5 years

The funniest shit anywhere on the Internet is comics writing long, sincere Facebook statuses addressed to their fellow comedians and listing the “rules” of comedy, an art form dominated by the mentally ill and feral.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

Absolutely unreal that he won this case. Put him and MM on a skewer and roast them over an open flame

diet coke bunny

@cocainecross

2 years

Johnny Depp fans paid $3k to unseal the court documents just to get dirt on Amber, but ended up unintentionally exposing Depp and information he tried to keep private instead. A thread 🧵🪡

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Russell Brand is Joe Rogan for yogis

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

First wax of the summer

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Couldn’t understand what my server was saying so I made him say it four times and turns out he was saying I’m beautiful so now I look like the most egotistical, insane bitch in the country

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Fuck it. Let it hatch. Who cares anymore

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

6 years

Don’t worry, guys. I’m sure a well-regulated militia comprised of gun enthusiasts will show up to save these kids from trump’s tyrannical policies any day now.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Your side is demanding to inspect kids’ genitals.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Shout out to everyone with a massive platform that never speaks out because you’re afraid of losing your racist fans

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

5 years

If we’re not going to make college affordable, then requiring someone to have a degree for an internship should be punishable by death.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Alright hear me out: Let's take their guns

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

5 years

Me watching Lizzo: Hell yeah, girl. Fucking get it! Me looking in the mirror: You should die you fucking pig

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

7 years

I'm having an easier time keeping up w who's left on the bachelor than who's still in the trump admin and I've never even watched that show.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Today on “Men are Clueless” - a random guy just asked to borrow my mask so he could go into CVS

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

1 year

@itsmejillkimmel Hahahaha he's a doomsday prepper but for his body

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

The Menendez Brothers weren't this committed to killing their family.

Max Gorden

@Max_Gorden

4 years

Crowds at Sky Harbor: The day after the CDC recommended people cancel their Thanksgiving travel plans, #azfamily viewer Ed Westerfield caught this scene of passengers waiting at their gates

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

8 years

The scariest part of The Shining is just a family being together for 5 months.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Watching trump win votes in each state is like watching an educational video on how cancer spreads through the body

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

10 months

@AlbertoJDiaz She’s in SAG, which is also on strike. Hence, “their respective unions”

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

He’s a slideshow I put together to try to get you horned up about me. Hope it works!

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

@tjchambersLA Which reminds me:

LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

5 years

Helen Hunt because Helen Hungry

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

6 years

Hot take: I don’t want to hear a tape of the president saying the n word. There would be no consequences for him and it would only further embolden his base to be more outwardly racist and hateful.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

@thatdevinfield Their budget was increased this year! Goddamn I hate the LAPD

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@lisa_curry

2 years

Cannot believe football is a national obsession when women’s gymnastics is serving us stuff like this

Tansu Yegen

@TansuYegen

2 years

A 🔟 isn't enough for this floor routine by @katelyn_ohashi 🔥

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

7 years

The only reason I don't make fun of Barron is because I prefer to go after something Trump cares about.

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@lisa_curry

6 years

I just laughed harder at this clip than any comedy I’ve seen this year

Bleacher Report

@BleacherReport

6 years

Just when you think Harden gave up on the play...

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Had to put emergency dental surgery on a credit card and it tanked my credit score. Great system we’ve got. Five stars. No need to burn it all to the ground.

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@lisa_curry

3 years

I'd rather just give everyone my social security number than come up with one more password

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

1 year

Ban men. In totality.

No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen

@NoLieWithBTC

1 year

New: Idaho Republicans have blocked a bill to make tampons available for students, calling it “woke.” One Republican lawmaker said, “You don’t have to be a woman to understand the absurdity of this policy.”

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@lisa_curry

4 years

What’s the longest you’ve been embarrassed about one thing? I went to a Hollywood Hills pool party READY TO SWIM 8 years ago and I still feel stupid.

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@lisa_curry

1 year

Mike Pence

@Mike_Pence

1 year

Having been raised in a Catholic family, the Dodgers decision to invite the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, a hateful group that blatantly mocks Catholicism, to their event next month is deeply offensive. Last summer the MLB moved their All-Star Game out of Georgia over a lie

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@lisa_curry

3 years

Things I do not understand: The Game Stop situation The stock market Hedge funds Reddit Where money comes from How to make money No seriously how Help

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

@OhNoSheTwitnt @lazerdoov “Let’s see how fast my car can go” “I wonder if I can flip this boat” Truly miraculous that our generation made it out alive

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

1 year

@MNateShyamalan We all turn to poetry at our darkest times

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

5 years

@MonicaLewinsky I feel you. I just noticed the home button on Twitter is a bird house.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Yeah no shit. The entire country is already choosing to pay other bills over taking care of their health. That’s exactly what the entire problem is.

Iowa Starting Line

@IAStartingLine

4 years

Dave Chappelle in Ames with @AndrewYang : “You take a poll in Dayton and say what would you rather have, $12,000 a year or health insurance? Everyone’s taking the money. Health insurance is great, but groceries are necessary too.”

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

5 years

Helen Hunt because Helen Hungry

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

9 years

I'm not on Tinder. If you want to see my 5 favorite photos of myself, you'll have to come to my funeral.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Funny that women are thought of as less than their male counterparts in comedy and yet here we are, dozens of women having made eloquent statements on what’s happening while the guys literally cry and say they “don’t know what to say” Guess we’ve been the better writers all along

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

1 year

@Eve6 Well when you put it this way

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Can’t help noticing that the same crowd that demands comics “stick to jokes,” is now refusing medical advice from doctors.

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

4 years

Same energy

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

@DivaDelux That facial expression should’ve earned you a daytime Emmy

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

3 years

Thinking of producing my own standup comedy show, booking an entire lineup of rapists, and then burning the building down with them in it. Can anyone recommend a good venue for this in LA?

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LISA CURRY

@lisa_curry

2 years

Will be good for students to learn from people who’ve already been shot at

The Hill

@thehill

2 years

. @GovDeSantis on recruiting veterans to the teaching field: "Our veterans have a wealth of knowledge and experience they can bring to bear in the classroom. [...] For too long, the requirements to be a teacher have been too rigid."