Lindsay Fickvitch @lfickvitch Twitter profile

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

6 months

Hey! I wrote about my feelings on anniversary tours! And you can read about them here!

Swim Into The Sound

@SwimIntoSound

6 months

Anniversary tours aren’t going anywhere soon. As we gather to hear our old favorites in full, it feels necessary to recognize the growth that artists and fans have undergone in the intervening decades. @lindsayfickas reflects on the cultural phenomenon.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

22 days

Today, my family ordered cocktails, and when I ordered a coffee, my sister sarcastically said, “oh what, are you sober? Has it been one day or two?” I replied with, “actually it’s been since the middle of July.” And it was a very satisfying reaction honestly.

Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

23 days

One thing I didn’t tell my family (that I regularly see and drink with) was that I am sober because I think it’ll be really funny to one day just be like, oh, yeah, I haven’t had alcohol since July

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

6 months

I had the realization this weekend that I could probably crochet a stuffed toasted ravioli, and I did nothing else until I had finished. It’s not much, but it’s honest work.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

7 months

I just feel like scented tampons are one of those things where no women were in the room when it was getting thought up

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

5 months

Hey friends. I’m okay but a little shaken up. This morning, my car started spinning in circles before coming to an abrupt stop in the middle of the road. When I got out to see what happened, I found this.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

6 months

My mom accidentally fried her built-in microwave on Easter, and my dad just sent a pic of their replacement.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

I think it would be really cool to get married on the same day as your best friend like this

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

9 months

Once, I ordered a macchiato at a coffee shop and the barista condescendingly said, “you won’t like it. It’s not super sweet like it is at Starbucks.” And you know what? I didn’t like it. But I still ordered it every time I visited that coffee shop until it shut down.

The Annasthesiologist

@fuzzymittens

9 months

What's the pettiest thing you have ever done? I'll start. Friend of a friend would bring a specific snack to every event/gathering/whatever. She would make a MASSIVE deal about how this was her SIGNATURE recipe & she would NEVER share it, regardless of whether anyone asked. 1/

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

5 months

In case you ever wanted to feel better about your housekeeping skills: my son just walked in and asked why I was making it smell like his birthday party. All I had done was mopped. Also, his birthday is in July.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

28 days

@taylorsschumann “Can you go grab me a sparkling water? It’s right behind the prayer card from my Mawmaw’s funeral.”

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

10 months

I just found the perfect bumper sticker

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

7 months

Once a guy came to our door with an educational book-selling MLM. He tried to get my husband by asking “do you even know why a flamingo is pink?” And I guess the guy hadn’t anticipated running into a man raised on zoboomafoo because he walked away defeated.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

The feminine urge to stare at a wall until the wallpaper pattern starts speaking to you.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 month

Both 30 Rock and The Muppets were shows about a neurotic showrunner trying to put on a live performance while failing to keep up with an overly confident blonde and a flighty stand-up comic

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 month

I was about to tweet, “I need a mocktail that’s just an excuse to squeeze, like, ten lemons over some sugar” and now I’m realizing how much better of a relationship I might have had with alcohol if I just embraced lemonade.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

The way I went from being a little bit sad about the Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner divorce to rooting her on with every story his team pushes out…

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

10 months

The interior design subreddit is about to commit a murder

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 months

My son snuck his chrome book into his room. We have all the parent controls on so we could see what he was doing. He worked on writing the historical fiction novel he wants to finish this summer. I’m just like, yeah, you broke rules, but I respect it.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 month

For the second time this week, i have brought up Mitt Romney’s “binder full of women” and for the second time this week, no one knew what I was talking about

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

22 days

you can do anything for the bit (I’m sober for other reasons lol)

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 month

The Cut is a psyop that was created so that whenever society feels extremely divided, we will receive a perfectly timed personal essay from someone so terrible, we will drop all our quarrels and come together for the purpose of cyberbullying them into oblivion.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

22 days

Also let it be known that (unsurprisingly) I’m from a very wry, sarcastic family where we rib each other a lot. I’m not at all bothered by the comments and I promise you don’t have to be either

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

9 months

In 2024, we should leave behind the dead-eyed, barefoot tradwives in favor of the bright-eyed Italian women who probably have strong feelings about your cousin’s new boyfriend

Kristi Yamaguccimane

@TheWapplehouse

9 months

Watching her make this pasta was life changing. Mama Mia.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

When my son was a toddler, I arranged a park date with a mom. We were sitting in the grass talking when her daughter grabbed a bee and was stung. The mom called her MD husband while panicking, and I tried to comfort them both. Meanwhile, my son ate all the girl’s snacks.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 months

Someone on the St. Louis subreddit just pointed out that the nonsense Carol House ads that have spent months on I-64 now look like a joke about JD Vance

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

11 months

Stop playing Christmas music the day after Halloween. November is for indie folk rock made between 2005-2015.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

6 months

My mom really wants you to know that this is a temporary solution as they figure out sizing. Kind of a bummer if I’m honest.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

23 days

One thing I didn’t tell my family (that I regularly see and drink with) was that I am sober because I think it’ll be really funny to one day just be like, oh, yeah, I haven’t had alcohol since July

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

21 days

@scottswigart I did tell them they are harder to handle sober

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

What every Original American Girl doll is doing at the Fourth of July cook-out: a thread.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

My three-year-old just went into his room for bed with something under his shirt. He happily told me it was his “t-Rex baby.” Actually, it was a hunk of parmesan he wanted to gnaw on in bed.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

6 months

@jenjamn515 You just have to water it, I’ve heard

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

Oh thank god someone finally had that talk with her. As women, we’re never told how fertility works, how aging affects egg production, or that we’re nearly of no use to society.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

4 months

Somewhere out there is a pastor writing a sermon about how Christ, too, was found guilty

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

8 months

Cinnamon roll wife is not realistic without vast amounts of wealth. Everything from the manicure that lasts through hand-kneading dough to the childcare that is undoubtedly the reason she can slowly do this uninterrupted is not attainable to the average stay-at-home mom

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

5 months

If I traveled back to the year 2007, I would not make any major historical changes but I would eat so many mid-2000s Panera meals. You have no idea.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 months

“I’m just having a hard life.” -my 4-year-old after the yolk of his fried egg broke

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

4 months

It doesn’t matter where I am in life. There will always be a small part of me fighting to post cryptic lyrics so everyone knows I’m going through it.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

7 months

@clhowley

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

9 months

Okay, so two things: I lived in a small town, and this was the nearest coffee source. And they had great food. Also, I’m fine with baristas clarifying the difference! Just don’t lead with “you won’t like it.” Being judged by baristas is actually my number one fear

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

@VeronaT_B Such a fun way to celebrate your friendship! (But for real, this is a gorgeous picture, and that jumpsuit is killing me. So good!)

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 month

I read a story about Jimmy Eat World writing “the middle” for a high school girl after she sent them a letter talking about getting rejected from the alt kids at her school, and it made me more emotional than necessary tbh

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

@Camilligal Aww, I had a great aunt like this, but she never actually got married. Neither did her friend, strangely.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

8 months

People are like, “kids these days are so weak, we have to cancel school just because the weather is cold.” My brother in Christ, you voted for politicians who cut funding for things like buses, and it’s a liability to have half the kids walk to school in 6 degree weather

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

7 months

We actually have to stop giving this post attention because my husband informed me it was Kratts Creatures, and he’s offended I got these two shows confused

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Okay, just so we’re clear: human trafficking ≠ not funny Getting arrested because you were trying to pick an internet fight with a teenager = very funny

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

As long as I write, I’ll never be able to pen an opening line as effective as, “There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

I’ve found it. The most chaotic branding in the world.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

7 months

The answer, btw, is because of their diet, and he had to turn to a reference page only to realize my husband was completely correct

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

I can’t believe my parents could have raised me in a Christian denomination that let me bring my pets to church so a priest could bless them but instead chose the one that gave me trauma

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

23 days

You can turn anything into a bit

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

9 months

Set aside the fact women make up over half of history majors. Era-accurate costuming, royal studies, biographical deep dives, feminist studies, and even some true crime are all topics women adore, but because it’s not Dan Carlin or WWII battle strategies, it doesn’t count

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

Want to know why people are so upset about that stupid Matthew West video? I grew up in that culture. Let me tell you about all the shame I still carry. Let me tell you about every time I’ve second guessed what I put on to go to the grocery store.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

Facebook is where the hot girls from your old high school sell their MLMs. Instagram is for people who found out how to become hot after the age of 19. And Twitter is for the people who have been told they have great personalities.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

Going to start a petition to change the name of red delicious apples to “two truths and a lie.”

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

8 months

My kids watched screens while I made this

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

@mrs_g_rider I did not mean to bait people into posting really gorgeous pics, but it’s made my week!

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

What was the strangest thing your church opposed? My youth pastor told us the children’s movie Happy Feet was sinful because it encouraged you to be yourself.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

I was a kid who grew up with the DC Talk Voice of the Martyrs books and the See You at the Flag events. I was always told I would be persecuted for my faith. It’s shitty when you realize the leaders telling you this were the ones with the pitchforks the whole time.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

A cool thing about having kids is that you now constantly have rocks in your house. What’s that on your nightstand? A rock. What’s in the couch cushion? A rock. What’s that in the bathroom sink? You’ll never guess.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

Just wanted to add that this memory was fueled by Sarah’s amazing tweet. Kids just want snacks.

sarah

@sarahradz_

1 year

Today at pick-up, the childcare teacher informed me that my darling son was caught red-handed trying to eat another child's banana. She showed me the confiscated banana as proof. I looked over at him sternly, and caught him trying to eat yet another child's banana.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

The house near me that proudly displayed a “Trump 2020: F**k your feelings” sign last year has a huge cross made up of Christmas lights this season, and the absolute disconnect is unbelievable.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Look, I love Bluey as much as the next mom, but judging someone’s parenting against Bandit and Chili Heeler is…weird. They’re cartoon dogs. My personal metric is the Home Alone parents, and comparatively speaking, I’m thriving.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

Every kid who grew up deep in evangelicalism had this soul-killing moment where they realized a life full of holiness meant a life full of subpar art, and I think that’s why we can’t enjoy pop culture in a chill way.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

My oldest child—a kid who devours complicated chapter books and can tell you every greek god—just got hurt because he tried to ride a bike while wearing roller blades. I just think it’s cool people can be so complex

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

I am once again here to tell Christians that no one is making them be this weird.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it. I am screaming

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

@PastorTrey05 Honestly, I think you’re reading too much into this

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

I am once again advocating for a booze-friendly adult youth camp for progressive Christians.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Hi! I’m a guy who married his girlfriend when I was 18 because our youth pastor caught us making out at a lock-in. Here’s my advice for how singles should find a partner.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

@keegzzz My kid was in here when I was watching, and he goes, “mom, that’s your shoe!” It’s nice to be represented

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

“Does your husband know you dress like that” is such a funny question because most of the husbands I know who are not controlling creeps positively love it when their wife dresses hot.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

Growing up in purity culture is fun because I’m like, entering my slut era!! and it’s just me not wearing a cami under a kinda sorta barely see-through t-shirt.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

5 months

This is a story that has already been liked by hundreds of people yet it’s also one I will never tell my mom.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

9 months

I have well over a decade trying to find the perfect pancake recipe only to discover the $3.50 box of Krusteaz is way better than any from-scratch options

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

After spending decades within Christianity, I am far more wary of people who have never critically analyzed their faith than those who have deconstructed it.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

My four-year-old son just asked who’s the bad guy in Little Women. It’s the scarlet fever, right?

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Kit is following Samantha around the house saying, “wow, that must have cost a fortune!” Her purse keeps meowing, and everyone is afraid to know why. She brought baked beans and is drinking Kirkland vodka, yelling, “it’s the same as Grey Goose!”

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

7 months

I personally believe modesty is of utmost importance within church. That’s why my congregation uses a bouncer in the parking lot to turn away people in luxury cars

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Felicity makes everyone listen to the NPR reading of the Declaration of Independence. She has shown everyone a picture of her horse at least once and pulls out a ukulele to sing the national anthem. She made a spiked punch but is the only one brave enough to drink it.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

Oh my actual god

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Josefina is the cool girl at the poolside. She looks incredible but keeps to herself. You find out from a friend of a friend she just went for her second PhD. She’s drinking La Croix and trying with all her might to ignore Felicity.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

11 months

My 9yo told me a week ago he was getting a new classmate named “Sandiego” (like the city). I go, “Santiago?” He goes, “no, Sandiego.” Today, he goes, “hey, mom, remember that new classmate? His name is actually ‘Sebastian.’”

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Molly brought a book. She turns every conversation into foreign policy and keeps complaining about Felicity’s country music playlist. Her drink of choice is an ale from a local brewery, and she only brought enough for herself.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Addy is very much NOT feeling the holiday. She came solely because Samantha begged her. She stopped at the store before this and got a pink birthday cookie cake. She’s drinking vodka spritzers and also trying to avoid Felicity who is two seconds away from being problematic.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Kirsten brought a mediocre homemade potato salad and is wearing a dress she won’t hesitate to tell you she made herself. She’s being weirdly pro-Biden, and Molly later tells you it’s because she only recently stopped voting conservative. She is White Claw wasted.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 months

Sometimes I really do wonder if my Left Behind childhood evangelicalism was right because Trump really does fit the idea of the anti-Christ

Chicano Marine 🇲🇽🇺🇸💙

@kingsrush

2 months

Why??? Seriously. I’m asking. wtf is she thinking??? 🤦🏻‍♂️

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

@lauraleighabby I cannot get past everything about this. The green dress! The gorgeous crown! The way you are both looking at each other! So magical!!

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

As a Christian, becoming outwardly affirming to LGBTQIA+ people can be scary and isolating, but there are people hungry to go to war against that community, and our silence is increasingly not an option.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

People need to know you can live very comfortably on a 100k salary in the Midwest! All it takes is losing all your personal and professional contacts, accepting subpar schools, potentially having your marriage invalidated, and potentially having your personhood denied.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

9 months

For the record, the coffee shop was called Proving Grounds, which, in retrospect, was apt.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

Someday, I want to write an essay about the way Hillsong perfectly weaponized musical builds and how it’s still messing with the way I both listen to music and approach worship.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

1 year

There’s a woman on my NextDoor telling people about how she calls in expired license plates, and I’m just begging more people to, like, learn how to knit or something.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

The whole “do we really want unvetted refugees” argument blows me away. This is the same network that argues for unvetted gun ownership, unvetted “health advice,” and unvetted politicians. You’re not worried about safety. You’re worried about people who don’t look like you.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

My baby was six-months-old when COVID started which means he is reentering the world with a Roomba as a best friend.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Samantha is hosting and wearing clothing sent by influencing sponsors. She’s made five Tiktoks so far. Her boyfriend, Weston, is trying to figure out the grill while she makes finger foods. She is constantly sipping wine despite there not being a bottle in sight.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

If America is truly a nation under God, that’s a god I do not wish to know.

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

2 years

Hi! I have a master’s degree in American history with a specific focus on the suffrage movement, and I spent time in fundamental Christian spaces. What they’ve been saying about men being the voice of the family is so old, suffragists literally campaigned against this idea. 🧵

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

21 days

@DrRamblings Wow this is my method entirely. I always have a log of peppercorn-coated salami on hand

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Lindsay Fickvitch

@lfickvitch

3 years

I still regularly think about the pair of sweatpants my aunt gifted me that had “True Love Waits” written across the butt.

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