People don’t need others to reason for them; but, often, they need someone to reason with them. Individualism permeates psychotherapy as much as any other financial and interpersonal endeavor in th…

Repeatedly, we’re told that feelings aren’t facts. This usually means that reality doesn’t have to acquiesce to your desires – simply because you want something to be true d…

Repeatedly, we’re told that feelings aren’t facts. This usually means that reality doesn’t have to acquiesce to your desires – simply because you want something to be true d…

Parents often ask themselves: How much do I want my child to love me? Black and white thinking can, sometimes, prevent them from being effective caretakers. On the one hand, I’m loved; on the…

With great power comes great responsibility, the degree of which most of us can’t handle. Kennon Sheldon, one of the founders of positive psychology, maintains that free will is the well-spring of …

We make significant mistakes when we’re protecting ourselves. Defensiveness, self-aggrandizement, bragging, deflecting, perfectionism; whatever you want to label it, we sometimes suck at main…

Repeatedly, we’re told that feelings aren’t facts. This usually means that reality doesn’t have to acquiesce to your desires – simply because you want something to be true d…

Perfectionists tend to catastrophize, personalize, disqualify their achievements, and have excessive standards. This guide helps them address those thinking habits.

People often enter treatment searching for wisdom, searching for advice that hasn’t already been given. In the popular HBO show In Treatment, Paul, the psychoanalyst and show’s protagon…

Repeatedly, we’re told that feelings aren’t facts. This usually means that reality doesn’t have to acquiesce to your desires – simply because you want something to be true d…

With great power comes great responsibility, the degree of which most of us can’t handle. Kennon Sheldon, one of the founders of positive psychology, maintains that free will is the well-spring of …

I spent most of my life living in fear. As a kid, I was terrified of the dark and sleeping alone. As a teenager, I feared rejection and ridicule. And, as an adult, I continue to fear love. As these…

Traumatic childhoods can cause people to attempt to flee their lives by cultivating and pursuing fantasies, or utopic lives, believing that they’ll make up for all the sorrow and harmonize their ex…

Perfectionists tend to catastrophize, personalize, disqualify their achievements, and have excessive standards. This guide helps them address those thinking habits.

When I disagree with someone, sometimes, they believe I’m just not listening. While both can be true at the same time, more often than that, my interlocutor means that he believes I must not …

With great power comes great responsibility, the degree of which most of us can’t handle. Kennon Sheldon, one of the founders of positive psychology, maintains that free will is the well-spring of …

We’re notorious overthinkers, creating meaning out of every detail encountered. Yet, our self-concepts are more burdensome than exhilarating, causing us to obsess over how they relate to others’ re…

Traumatic childhoods can cause people to attempt to flee their lives by cultivating and pursuing fantasies, or utopic lives, believing that they’ll make up for all the sorrow and harmonize their ex…

People don’t need others to reason for them; but, often, they need someone to reason with them. Individualism permeates psychotherapy as much as any other financial and interpersonal endeavor in th…

Despite what you may believe, there can be a sense of safety in humility. me, few things are harder to tolerate than my own ignorance; I hate admitting that I don’t know something. And my dis…

Repeatedly, we’re told that feelings aren’t facts. This usually means that reality doesn’t have to acquiesce to your desires – simply because you want something to be true d…

Perfectionists view their worlds in absolutes. Their sense of morality and their expectations apply to all environments, all of the time. So, as most of us learn to feel safe in some contexts, diff…

Imagine living a life wherein unless it reached its full potential, you would die disgusted by its existence. I’ve put so much of my life on hold, patiently waiting for all of the things I…

When I disagree with someone, sometimes, they believe I’m just not listening. While both can be true at the same time, more often than that, my interlocutor means that he believes I must not …

Despite what you may believe, there can be a sense of safety in humility. me, few things are harder to tolerate than my own ignorance; I hate admitting that I don’t know something. And my dis…

Traumatic childhoods can cause people to attempt to flee their lives by cultivating and pursuing fantasies, or utopic lives, believing that they’ll make up for all the sorrow and harmonize their ex…

Throughout our quests for the perfect mate, we frequently find ourselves fantasizing about what that mate would be like: we envision an attractive, intelligent, deeply compassionate, ambitious, and…

Imagine living a life wherein unless it reached its full potential, you would die disgusted by its existence. I’ve put so much of my life on hold, patiently waiting for all of the things I…

Some of us live in the world of Platonic forms. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato believed that the world of forms, the ideas of what things are, their essences, is the only real aspect of the wo…

Perfectionists view their worlds in absolutes. Their sense of morality and their expectations apply to all environments, all of the time. So, as most of us learn to feel safe in some contexts, diff…

When I disagree with someone, sometimes, they believe I’m just not listening. While both can be true at the same time, more often than that, my interlocutor means that he believes I must not …

Perfectionists view their worlds in absolutes. Their sense of morality and their expectations apply to all environments, all of the time. So, as most of us learn to feel safe in some contexts, diff…

Perfectionists view their worlds in absolutes. Their sense of morality and their expectations apply to all environments, all of the time. So, as most of us learn to feel safe in some contexts, diff…

The following article was originally written for a blogger named The Bipolar Writer. This version is an extension of the original, which can be read on his website. Meeting Eileen for the first tim…

Being seen is often scarier than being invisible. Once perceived, you open yourself up to the possibility of falling into the vortex of invisibility, never to be seen again. And those who struggle …

The Avoidant Attachment Style and Its Effects on Our Ability to Love “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built again…

Shame compounds. Of all of the negative emotions, shame is the worst. Anxiety subsides when we avert a threat. Sadness ends when fortune shifts. Anger resolved through rectification. But, shame per…

We love fighting demons. And nowhere is that more apparent than in the current geo-political sphere. Some of us fight them for meaning; others for clout. Bifurcating the world provides a sense of r…

Trauma begets rage, and rage veils vulnerability. Many view sympathy with scorn, refusing to be cast under its spotlight. Therapists often experience this in their sessions with patients who become…

Imagine living a life wherein unless it reached its full potential, you would die disgusted by its existence. I’ve put so much of my life on hold, patiently waiting for all of the things I…

All of have bad coping mechanisms which stem from false beliefs of their utility. Recall the time when you believed your girlfriend was cheating on you, so you decided to confront and hurl accusati…

People don’t need others to reason for them; but, often, they need someone to reason with them. Individualism permeates psychotherapy as much as any other financial and interpersonal endeavor in th…

When I was a kid, I wanted to become the best. As is typical for a child who’s bullied, and even for some adults, being the best implies a victory, that you’ve exhibited your greatness …

People often enter treatment searching for wisdom, searching for advice that hasn’t already been given. In the popular HBO show In Treatment, Paul, the psychoanalyst and show’s protagon…

Being seen is often scarier than being invisible. Once perceived, you open yourself up to the possibility of falling into the vortex of invisibility, never to be seen again. And those who struggle …

With great power comes great responsibility, the degree of which most of us can’t handle. Kennon Sheldon, one of the founders of positive psychology, maintains that free will is the well-spring of …

Repeatedly, we’re told that feelings aren’t facts. This usually means that reality doesn’t have to acquiesce to your desires – simply because you want something to be true d…

Perfectionists view their worlds in absolutes. Their sense of morality and their expectations apply to all environments, all of the time. So, as most of us learn to feel safe in some contexts, diff…

For some, potential, negative experiences, like harm or death, carry the weight of their biggest fears. For others, their own, everyday, emotions do. They live in terror of their own anger, anxiety…

Some of us live in the world of Platonic forms. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato believed that the world of forms, the ideas of what things are, their essences, is the only real aspect of the wo…

An ancient proverb reads: Enlightenment isn’t wisdom; it’s the feeling of lightness. In it, one sees the contrast between striving and freedom. I resisted this adage for most of my life…

Traumatic childhoods can cause people to attempt to flee their lives by cultivating and pursuing fantasies, or utopic lives, believing that they’ll make up for all the sorrow and harmonize their ex…

“We don’t want to become what we are. We want to become a concept, a fantasy, what we should be like. Sometimes we have what people always call the ideal, what I call the curse, to be p…

When I disagree with someone, sometimes, they believe I’m just not listening. While both can be true at the same time, more often than that, my interlocutor means that he believes I must not …

If trauma can become a gift, first understanding it is imperative. Left on her own, with no one to look after her, Annie wonders what she’s done wrong. Why don’t her parents care enough…

For some, potential, negative experiences, like harm or death, carry the weight of their biggest fears. For others, their own, everyday, emotions do. They live in terror of their own anger, anxiety…

My rigidity is a gift and a curse. On the one hand, I’m determined; on the hand, I’m quite stubborn. To me, quitting anything, no matter how insignificant, is deeply shameful. (I find i…

“We don’t want to become what we are. We want to become a concept, a fantasy, what we should be like. Sometimes we have what people always call the ideal, what I call the curse, to be p…

You can’t evade the profound uncertainty of love, and, more importantly, of life. Those with avoidant personalities fall into two camps. One camp is composed of individuals who retreat at the…

Why We Need a More Nuanced Understanding of Mental Health The biological model of psychiatry is the dominant model of present mainstream treatment. Medicine, with its focus on symptom reduction, ha…

Trauma begets rage, and rage veils vulnerability. Many view sympathy with scorn, refusing to be cast under its spotlight. Therapists often experience this in their sessions with patients who become…

Repeatedly, we’re told that feelings aren’t facts. This usually means that reality doesn’t have to acquiesce to your desires – simply because you want something to be true d…

The Avoidant Attachment Style and Its Effects on Our Ability to Love “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built again…

I spent most of my life living in fear. As a kid, I was terrified of the dark and sleeping alone. As a teenager, I feared rejection and ridicule. And, as an adult, I continue to fear love. As these…

Daniel Kahneman, the notable psychologist, warned that if we put pressure on another to do what we want them to, they would be just as unlikely to perform the task as they would have been had we re…

Perfectionists view their worlds in absolutes. Their sense of morality and their expectations apply to all environments, all of the time. So, as most of us learn to feel safe in some contexts, diff…

Throughout our quests for the perfect mate, we frequently find ourselves fantasizing about what that mate would be like: we envision an attractive, intelligent, deeply compassionate, ambitious, and…

Being seen is often scarier than being invisible. Once perceived, you open yourself up to the possibility of falling into the vortex of invisibility, never to be seen again. And those who struggle …

Self-importance is akin to cocaine. Social Psychologist David Myers discovered what he labeled “The Lake Wobegon Effect.” Based on a fictitious town where everyone considers themselves …

Sometimes, you’re just someone who has nothing to say. The avoidant personality type is marked by extreme shyness, fear of criticism, and an excessive worry about appearing ridiculous, needy,…

Throughout our quests for the perfect mate, we frequently find ourselves fantasizing about what that mate would be like: we envision an attractive, intelligent, deeply compassionate, ambitious, and…

Being seen is often scarier than being invisible. Once perceived, you open yourself up to the possibility of falling into the vortex of invisibility, never to be seen again. And those who struggle …

Sometimes, you’re just someone who has nothing to say. The avoidant personality type is marked by extreme shyness, fear of criticism, and an excessive worry about appearing ridiculous, needy,…

“We don’t want to become what we are. We want to become a concept, a fantasy, what we should be like. Sometimes we have what people always call the ideal, what I call the curse, to be p…

The following article was originally written for a blogger named The Bipolar Writer. This version is an extension of the original, which can be read on his website. Meeting Eileen for the first tim…

Some of us live in the world of Platonic forms. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato believed that the world of forms, the ideas of what things are, their essences, is the only real aspect of the wo…

Repeatedly, we’re told that feelings aren’t facts. This usually means that reality doesn’t have to acquiesce to your desires – simply because you want something to be true d…

The Avoidant Attachment Style and Its Effects on Our Ability to Love “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built again…

We’re notorious overthinkers, creating meaning out of every detail encountered. Yet, our self-concepts are more burdensome than exhilarating, causing us to obsess over how they relate to others’ re…

Exceptionally good people often carry a dark side, using their goodness to inflict pain onto others.

“We don’t want to become what we are. We want to become a concept, a fantasy, what we should be like. Sometimes we have what people always call the ideal, what I call the curse, to be p…

Perfectionists have particular ways of thinking and seeing the world. And all of them serve the goal of refining and progressing one's self, which becomes the obsession.

We love fighting demons. And nowhere is that more apparent than in the current geo-political sphere. Some of us fight them for meaning; others for clout. Bifurcating the world provides a sense of r…

My rigidity is a gift and a curse. On the one hand, I’m determined; on the hand, I’m quite stubborn. To me, quitting anything, no matter how insignificant, is deeply shameful. (I find i…

Traumatic childhoods can cause people to attempt to flee their lives by cultivating and pursuing fantasies, or utopic lives, believing that they’ll make up for all the sorrow and harmonize their ex…