Laurel Higgens @laurelhig12 Twitter profile

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

WHERE’S THE SHOE? One night a fellow drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily. The next night the man and his wife

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

Sherlock Holmes and Watson Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

UPSET LAWYER A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

A man, an ostrich, and a cat A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat and sits at the bar. The bartender walks over to them and says, "What can I get for you?" The man says "I'll have a beer", the ostrich says, "I'll have a beer", and the cat says, "I'll have half a beer

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

Let them quit the game early! A wife was telling her \"Football Referee\" husband: - Dear! There is an anniversary of death in my parents family. You\'ll prepare to go there with me, won\'t you? - Alas! I can\'t go, because this afternoon I have to work as a referee for the

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

All the fish: I went to this girl’s party the week after she beat the shit out of my friend. While everyone was getting trashed, I went around putting tuna inside all the curtain rods and so like weeks went by and they couldn’t figure out why the house smelled like festering

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

The ramen incident: I have decided to remain anonymous to protect my identity from the foolishness. last night, I became hungry and decided to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, added the flavor and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

HIGH TECH Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

6 months

ASKING PERMISSION "Sir, your daughter says she loves me, and she can't live without me, and she wants to marry me." "And you're asking my permission to marry her?" "No, I'm asking you to make her leave me alone."

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

ORGANIC VEGETABLES The other day it was my turn to prepare dinner so I asked my wife to go over to the local market and buy some organic vegetables. She came back rather upset. When I asked her what was wrong she said, "I don't think I like that produce guy. I went and looked

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

6 months

Genius Is One Percent Inspiration And Ninety-nine Percent Perspiration

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

Woman's tear Three husbands met each other. The first one who was a soldier said: - Woman's tear is a classic weapon but very dangerous. The second one who was a weatherforcaster said: - Woman's tear is a light shower but it can become a flood that can dip many person's dead. The

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

6 months

Everybody's heard of the Air Force's ultra-highsecurity,super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING? A recently married minister went to his congregation, informed them of his wife's pregnancy and asked for a raise that would allow him a reasonable salary. After deliberation it was agreed that the increase in family size warranted the raise. After six

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

Scotsman, Irishman, and Englishman Story A Scotsman, an Irishman, and an Englishman are each sentenced to a year in solitary confinement; before being locked away, each is to be granted a year's supply of whatever he wants to help him get through the long, long spell alone. •

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

6 months

In the tapestry of life, every thread counts. Each experience, whether joyful or challenging, adds richness and depth to our story. #LifeIsBeautiful #EmbraceEveryMoment

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

5 months

AN ARITHMETIC PROBLEM 4-6-2005 A little boy bought a cricket by money that his par¬ents gave him. In the arithmetic hour, the teacher asked him: - Your father gave you six cents. Your mother gave you four cents. How many cents do you have now? - Teacher, I have a cricket now -

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12

6 months

For the friendship of two, the patience of one is required.

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Laurel Higgens

@laurelhig12