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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4,189
Followers
797
Following
1,369
Media
9,465
Statuses

I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it really well

ok
Joined June 2013
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
My dad hung out with Lana Del Rey in NYC and I can’t even get a text back :/
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
3 years
Me all weekend
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
2 years
I have an autistic stepbrother and he never tells me if he likes or doesn’t like the music I play in the car so we usually listen to a continuous loop of I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys and today he asked me to play Slob On My Nob and proceeded to sing EVERY WORD
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
2 years
My exes hate me and my friends all miss me. I wanna drown in rot gut whiskey, leave this small town for awhile
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
This is my dad and my cousin, not my husband and baby
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
3 years
I have loved some ladies, and I have loved Jim Beam, and they both tried to kill me in 1973
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
@hunterginn I’ve made a bad decision I decided 😂
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Ok im ready to be 27 with my cute husband and cute baby and cute SUV and house with dogs and a big porch college is hard I'm over it
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
I'll pick you up downtown when you're grinning with a busted lip because you're not known for backing down and those boys are known for talking shit.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
A relit cigarette never tastes the same, and that's all I'll preach about rekindling old flames.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
I didn’t think I’d ever say this about someone, but Zach Bryan is about to give Tyler Childers a run for his money
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
@WILDDFORLANA Ok we get it, my makeup looks bad and I have a janky smile. Y’all act like you’ve never taken a bad picture before 😂🙄
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
3 years
Hot girl summer
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
2 years
The classic bathroom selfie
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
baby’s got her blue jeans on
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
If you can’t picture yourself with them slow dancing in the kitchen or singing into a spatula and making pancakes then they’re not worth it
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Me when I have to sit at the kids table during the holidays for the 22nd year in a row
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Is anyone else just going through life like “yeah I just gotta get past this last difficult week and then it’s smooth sailing from there!” but like… every week
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Horns (and I cannot stress this enough) down
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
3 years
In Bob we trust!!!
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Is there not another app people can sell their nudes on? I’m tired of seeing people retweet their own bare asses while I’m just trying to look at memes and watch funny videos ☹️
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Keep my dad and the rest of TPD in your prayers as the verdict for Betty Shelby comes out. If you're protesting please do so peacefully.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Friendly reminder that cutting out carbs is bad for you and that your organs need them to function properly and to maintain energy. The keto diet is garbage. Cutting out any food group from your diet is unhealthy 😀
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
🦃🍽🍁
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
If whiskey could talk, it'd say I'm a great guy or at least it ought to for as much as I buy
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
3 years
Tailgating: a series
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Sorry I’m late, I sat in my car watching tiktoks for 30 minutes
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
My brother had to go to the principals office bc someone spread a rumor that he was making fake ids and selling them on the black market. Kids are so much more imaginative now. When I was in school it was just “so and so slept with so and so in the middle of a field last weekend”
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Honestly fck college. I'm still gonna go, but
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
You will sometimes miss the people who hurt you, this is not a bad thing. This means that you loved with all of your heart.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
I’m doing project over St. Jude and did yall know it takes over 2 MILLION dollars a DAY to run the hospital (almost all of that is covered by donations). And that the families who are in their care NEVER receive a SINGLE bill. And that survival rates in children have QUADRUPLED
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Had to scrape ice off of my windshield with the bill of a baseball hat this morning. I miss summer
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
10 years
So many people cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends and turn around and say how much they love them. If that's love nowadays, count me out.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Honestly I don't even play an active role in my life anymore, shit just happens and I'm like oh is this what we’re doing now ok
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Brought back twitter just to see that my dad has become best friends with my favorite singer, nice
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
8 years
Three horrible facts 1. Today isn't Friday. 2. Tomorrow isn't Friday. 3. Even the day after tomorrow isn't Friday.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
It DISGUSTS me that people turn every tragedy into a race/religion battle. If you murder innocent people, you're a POS regardless.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Ok I get that what Mayfeild did was disrespectful, but has everyone forgotten what sport they're playing or...literally one of the most competitive and physical sports. I'm in shock that people are SO upset that a twenty something year old player got a little hot-headed at a game
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
It feels so good to outgrow people
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
beginning of vacay vs end of vacay 🥴
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
8 years
YOU DONT HAVE TO WAIT TO MERGE ONTO 71st ONCE YOU EXIT OFF OF 169 YOU HAVE YOUR OWN LANE
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
My dad bought me a crockpot who wants chili and pot roast and chicken and dumplings and rotel
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
8 years
College is fun and all but I'm ready to live in my farm house with granite counters and a wrap around porch with my husband
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
My dad is VERIFIED on twitter
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
The hours between 12am and 6am have a funny habit of making you feel like you’re either on top of the world or under it.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
We love a sunburnt, no make up, and clean hair selfie
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
One time at OSU a pipe busted while I was showering and BOILING hot water shot out like this and my roommates and I didn’t know how to fix it so it went off for like 45 minutes and flooded our house until our landlord and plumber could make it stop
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
My dad keeps using our nice decorative tea towels to do dishes and whipe the counters down. COVID19 please DEAR LORD finish running your course so I can send him back to NY
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
9 years
11 Months Out Of The Year: life is a train wreck. December: life is a Polar Express train wreck.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
110% me these last two weeks of the semester
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
National tequila day? Say less
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
I'm a determined and hard working girl, but honestly being a stay at home mom taking care of babies and animals doesn't sound too bad 🤷🏽‍♀️
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Two step with me on our kitchen floor and hold my hand on the way to church
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Honestly thank God that liquor stores are considered essential during this time
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
I can’t work, go to school, or go to the gym but what I CAN do is learn the choreography to the Napoleon Dynamite dance
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
Facebook memes are unmatched
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
Scream singing the Dixie Chicks with the windows down is a spiritual experience
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
8 years
My dad has his own commercial on A&E now...
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Last minute 80s workout costume ✔️
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
Dad went on a boys only bourbon tour this week. He is now for sale
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
When will I learn that it’s a bad idea to drink 10 beers while wearing high waisted pants 😫
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
hello here's a selfie
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
I never wear face makeup or smile
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Roll the credits when the scene is through of story of a messed up kid
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
3 years
Good morning!!!! College football is back!!!!!!
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
nice and clean 🚿
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
I’m in New York and I paid $20 for a 0.8 mile taxi ride and accidentally bought a $12 bottle of water, I miss Oklahoma ☹️
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
The Grinch is on Netflix. I know what I'm watching every single day from now until December 26th.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
3 years
Two weeks until thanksgiving and it’s already started 🥲
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
I don't believe in makeup during the summer
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
No means no if you’re drunk or if you’re sober. No means no if you’re in bed or in a dorm or on the street. No means no even if you said yes at first and you changed your mind.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Building snowmen was a lot easier when I was 10 and also sober
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Happy Halloween👻
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
Binge watched Yellowstone at a cabin in the mountains while it snowed all day, nothing to complain about here
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
8 years
I'm 2007 Britney Spears stressed
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
3 years ago today I totaled my car in the highschool parking lot by running into the "welcome to Coweta highschool" sign. Still embarrassed.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
This quarantine is starting to feel strikingly similar to being grounded for talking back to my parents in the 7th grade
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Always leave people better than you found them. Hug the hurts. Kiss the broken. Befriend the lost. Love the lonely.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
Snapchat selfie xoxo
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
3 years
🤠
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
I can't wait to get married and have my own family gatherings and vacations
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
I love talking to people who are more intelligent than i am, it’s great to listen to someone educate you on stuff they're passionate about
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
mood
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
4 years
Just got IDd while buying Pop-Its and confetti poppers. I’m mad.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Why are kids who can't even drive yet partying harder than my friends and I
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Pumped for everyone who’s New Years resolution is to get healthy/in shape. I am also one of those people. What I’m not pumped for is the INSANE amount of people that get to witness my weak ass wheeze and sweat like a whore in church while I try to work out
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
It's GAME DAY
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
Why do girls wear makeup to the river 😂
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
I live by myself, have 2 jobs, I'm enrolled in 16 hours w a 3.7 GPA and someone just had the AUDACITY to tell me i don't get to be stressed
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
One time I thought I locked my keys in my car after work so I called the police and waited an hour for them to get there and to get their stuff all ready and then I realized that my car wasn’t actually locked, I just assumed it was and wasted everyone’s time and lost my pride
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
You can meet somebody tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you’ve known forever. Time means nothing, character does.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Let’s get physical
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
5 years
Can’t wait to drink over priced vodka, freeze my booty off, and complain about my feet hurting thirty minutes after leaving the house tonight 😍😍
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships. I’d rather have no one than to not feel someone and fake it.
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@larkin_lyssa
alyssa
7 years
🔅
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