alyssa @larkin_lyssa Twitter profile

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

My dad hung out with Lana Del Rey in NYC and I can’t even get a text back :/

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

3 years

Me all weekend

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

2 years

I have an autistic stepbrother and he never tells me if he likes or doesn’t like the music I play in the car so we usually listen to a continuous loop of I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys and today he asked me to play Slob On My Nob and proceeded to sing EVERY WORD

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

2 years

My exes hate me and my friends all miss me. I wanna drown in rot gut whiskey, leave this small town for awhile

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

This is my dad and my cousin, not my husband and baby

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

3 years

I have loved some ladies, and I have loved Jim Beam, and they both tried to kill me in 1973

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

@hunterginn I’ve made a bad decision I decided 😂

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Ok im ready to be 27 with my cute husband and cute baby and cute SUV and house with dogs and a big porch college is hard I'm over it

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

I'll pick you up downtown when you're grinning with a busted lip because you're not known for backing down and those boys are known for talking shit.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

A relit cigarette never tastes the same, and that's all I'll preach about rekindling old flames.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

I didn’t think I’d ever say this about someone, but Zach Bryan is about to give Tyler Childers a run for his money

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

@WILDDFORLANA Ok we get it, my makeup looks bad and I have a janky smile. Y’all act like you’ve never taken a bad picture before 😂🙄

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

3 years

Hot girl summer

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

2 years

The classic bathroom selfie

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

baby’s got her blue jeans on

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

If you can’t picture yourself with them slow dancing in the kitchen or singing into a spatula and making pancakes then they’re not worth it

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Me when I have to sit at the kids table during the holidays for the 22nd year in a row

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Is anyone else just going through life like “yeah I just gotta get past this last difficult week and then it’s smooth sailing from there!” but like… every week

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Horns (and I cannot stress this enough) down

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

3 years

In Bob we trust!!!

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Is there not another app people can sell their nudes on? I’m tired of seeing people retweet their own bare asses while I’m just trying to look at memes and watch funny videos ☹️

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Keep my dad and the rest of TPD in your prayers as the verdict for Betty Shelby comes out. If you're protesting please do so peacefully.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Friendly reminder that cutting out carbs is bad for you and that your organs need them to function properly and to maintain energy. The keto diet is garbage. Cutting out any food group from your diet is unhealthy 😀

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

🦃🍽🍁

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

If whiskey could talk, it'd say I'm a great guy or at least it ought to for as much as I buy

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

3 years

Tailgating: a series

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Sorry I’m late, I sat in my car watching tiktoks for 30 minutes

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

My brother had to go to the principals office bc someone spread a rumor that he was making fake ids and selling them on the black market. Kids are so much more imaginative now. When I was in school it was just “so and so slept with so and so in the middle of a field last weekend”

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Honestly fck college. I'm still gonna go, but

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

You will sometimes miss the people who hurt you, this is not a bad thing. This means that you loved with all of your heart.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

I’m doing project over St. Jude and did yall know it takes over 2 MILLION dollars a DAY to run the hospital (almost all of that is covered by donations). And that the families who are in their care NEVER receive a SINGLE bill. And that survival rates in children have QUADRUPLED

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Had to scrape ice off of my windshield with the bill of a baseball hat this morning. I miss summer

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

10 years

So many people cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends and turn around and say how much they love them. If that's love nowadays, count me out.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

#NewProfilePic

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Honestly I don't even play an active role in my life anymore, shit just happens and I'm like oh is this what we’re doing now ok

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Brought back twitter just to see that my dad has become best friends with my favorite singer, nice

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

8 years

Three horrible facts 1. Today isn't Friday. 2. Tomorrow isn't Friday. 3. Even the day after tomorrow isn't Friday.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

It DISGUSTS me that people turn every tragedy into a race/religion battle. If you murder innocent people, you're a POS regardless.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Ok I get that what Mayfeild did was disrespectful, but has everyone forgotten what sport they're playing or...literally one of the most competitive and physical sports. I'm in shock that people are SO upset that a twenty something year old player got a little hot-headed at a game

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

It feels so good to outgrow people

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

beginning of vacay vs end of vacay 🥴

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

8 years

YOU DONT HAVE TO WAIT TO MERGE ONTO 71st ONCE YOU EXIT OFF OF 169 YOU HAVE YOUR OWN LANE

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

My dad bought me a crockpot who wants chili and pot roast and chicken and dumplings and rotel

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

8 years

College is fun and all but I'm ready to live in my farm house with granite counters and a wrap around porch with my husband

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

My dad is VERIFIED on twitter

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

The hours between 12am and 6am have a funny habit of making you feel like you’re either on top of the world or under it.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

We love a sunburnt, no make up, and clean hair selfie

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

One time at OSU a pipe busted while I was showering and BOILING hot water shot out like this and my roommates and I didn’t know how to fix it so it went off for like 45 minutes and flooded our house until our landlord and plumber could make it stop

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

My dad keeps using our nice decorative tea towels to do dishes and whipe the counters down. COVID19 please DEAR LORD finish running your course so I can send him back to NY

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

9 years

11 Months Out Of The Year: life is a train wreck. December: life is a Polar Express train wreck.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

110% me these last two weeks of the semester

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

National tequila day? Say less

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

I'm a determined and hard working girl, but honestly being a stay at home mom taking care of babies and animals doesn't sound too bad 🤷🏽‍♀️

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Two step with me on our kitchen floor and hold my hand on the way to church

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Honestly thank God that liquor stores are considered essential during this time

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

I can’t work, go to school, or go to the gym but what I CAN do is learn the choreography to the Napoleon Dynamite dance

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

Facebook memes are unmatched

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

Scream singing the Dixie Chicks with the windows down is a spiritual experience

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

8 years

My dad has his own commercial on A&E now...

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Last minute 80s workout costume ✔️

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

Dad went on a boys only bourbon tour this week. He is now for sale

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

When will I learn that it’s a bad idea to drink 10 beers while wearing high waisted pants 😫

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

hello here's a selfie

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

I never wear face makeup or smile

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Roll the credits when the scene is through of story of a messed up kid

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

3 years

Good morning!!!! College football is back!!!!!!

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

nice and clean 🚿

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

I’m in New York and I paid $20 for a 0.8 mile taxi ride and accidentally bought a $12 bottle of water, I miss Oklahoma ☹️

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

The Grinch is on Netflix. I know what I'm watching every single day from now until December 26th.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

3 years

Two weeks until thanksgiving and it’s already started 🥲

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

I don't believe in makeup during the summer

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

No means no if you’re drunk or if you’re sober. No means no if you’re in bed or in a dorm or on the street. No means no even if you said yes at first and you changed your mind.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Building snowmen was a lot easier when I was 10 and also sober

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Happy Halloween👻

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

Binge watched Yellowstone at a cabin in the mountains while it snowed all day, nothing to complain about here

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

8 years

I'm 2007 Britney Spears stressed

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

3 years ago today I totaled my car in the highschool parking lot by running into the "welcome to Coweta highschool" sign. Still embarrassed.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

This quarantine is starting to feel strikingly similar to being grounded for talking back to my parents in the 7th grade

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Always leave people better than you found them. Hug the hurts. Kiss the broken. Befriend the lost. Love the lonely.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

Snapchat selfie xoxo

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

3 years

🤠

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

I can't wait to get married and have my own family gatherings and vacations

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

I love talking to people who are more intelligent than i am, it’s great to listen to someone educate you on stuff they're passionate about

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

mood

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

4 years

Just got IDd while buying Pop-Its and confetti poppers. I’m mad.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Why are kids who can't even drive yet partying harder than my friends and I

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

Pumped for everyone who’s New Years resolution is to get healthy/in shape. I am also one of those people. What I’m not pumped for is the INSANE amount of people that get to witness my weak ass wheeze and sweat like a whore in church while I try to work out

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

It's GAME DAY

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

Why do girls wear makeup to the river 😂

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

I live by myself, have 2 jobs, I'm enrolled in 16 hours w a 3.7 GPA and someone just had the AUDACITY to tell me i don't get to be stressed

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

5 years

One time I thought I locked my keys in my car after work so I called the police and waited an hour for them to get there and to get their stuff all ready and then I realized that my car wasn’t actually locked, I just assumed it was and wasted everyone’s time and lost my pride

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa

7 years

You can meet somebody tomorrow who has better intentions for you than someone you’ve known forever. Time means nothing, character does.

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alyssa

@larkin_lyssa