Akshita @keylimepie2000 Twitter profile

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

Before Elon scrapped the “likes” I used to have a list of people (who I thought were smart) and go through their likes everyday to get access to good content. Now I have to rely on the algorithm ugh

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

The founder of the previous company I worked for used to yell at everybody in Hindi. So I told them I didn’t know Hindi cause I’m from Chennai (Tamilian). So they had to switch to English to yell at me each time and I got yelled at way lesser than other folks because of this.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

Any guy with half a brain would know that no court in India grants 70% as alimony as a norm. Watching men who themselves have taken dowry/made their wive's family pay for wedding expenses/forced their wives to quit their job, yap about equality and justice has been intriguing.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Delivery Anna to me after 2 mins of listening to my terrible Hindi and Kannada: “What language can you speak, madam?” 😭😭😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

I would like to know why Bangalore flat owners need three lakh rupees as deposit. (for 3 BHK) Do they think we are going to steal their house and take it elsewhere?

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

Currently trying to prove my Tamil identity to this Tamil auto Anna in HSR. Dude is not believing me. He thinks I’m a northie brought up in Chennai.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

Got into NUS! Not going. Told my mom that poker, chess, philosophy and investing in public markets is all the education I need.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Not to be mean but these northies have wrecked the review system of South Indian restaurants. Everything is rated 4.5+ on Swiggy and Zomato. They will just eat anything that’s called idli and dosa and give it a 5 I think. I miss CTR, Janata, Veena 😭😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

If a guy tells you he reads stoic philosophy… RUN! Marcus Aurelius would turn in his grave if he heard Indian men talk about stoic philosophy.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Congratulations Bangalore restaurants, You all have convinced me that 250 rupees for a cheesecake is cheap.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

I make friends with northies purely with the intention of dancing and eating at their eventful weddings.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

If business folks can buy luxury cars and claim exemptions on that, salaried employees should be able to deduct their third wave coffees from taxable income.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Some trolls on my comments have told me that I should find a guy before I’m too old. Here’s my response: My future library in my independent house in sadhashivnagar has only one leather chair. 2 leather chairs would ruin the aesthetics. Thanks for the concern but no thanks.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

Dude has a house in Bangalore (Some Indiranagar, HSR types) for sure. Single handedly trying to increase rental yield in the city.

Gaurav Munjal

@gauravmunjal

4 months

Everyone I meet these days wants to move to Bangalore. Best City in India. And the only place you should be if you’re thinking of starting a Company.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

This came with my zepto order. Extremely grateful for VC money I guess

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

Also update: I got the job!

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

You all have no idea how hard it is to find a flat in Bangalore + non smoking room mate (I’m allergic to the smell) I have single handedly increased the life spans of my Ashoka frens because of my allergy.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

In my career so far I have given like 4 interviews, and in 3 of them I got asked what’s my biggest weakness. I gave them a straight answer tbh. I told them my weaknesses without beating around the bush. Exact opposite of what the career talk person at Ashoka told me to do.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

I think The Ken should write a story about themselves titled “Is clickbait the way forward for subscription news sites?”

The Ken

@TheKenWeb

2 months

The Big Story | “Where is Kunal Shah?” ask most Cred employees The founder-CEO's insistence on having a workforce that is largely self-reliant is now impeding the fintech's growth. @Rounak_T explains how:

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

I exchanged Instagrams with this guy today and the first thing I did was to go to his following and see if he follows finance with sharan. He does not. 🍷

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Why does Finland need a medal? They are already the happiest country. Diminishing returns if you ask me.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

The waiter at Meghana’s just told the cashier that I look British in Kannada. I want to bang my head in a nearby wall. Why do I know enough Kannada to understand that?

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

Every fourth word he says is “McKinsey”

whodunnit

@coldasbarf

1 month

I have been telling every freshly minted tech grad in Blr: Life's best returns come from unconventional choices. Working at Startups today is a herd mentality. You won't get far within a herd. Fully agree with shantanu here.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

16 days

The thought of turning 24 in 1 hour 10 mins makes me want to drink wine.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

This one influencers feed is hilarious Makes a reel on “Why I left BCG?” Mentions reasons such as rat race blah blah *3 days later* Makes a reel on “How to get into BCG and top management consulting companies?”

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

My last 3 crushes have all been Kannadigas. I think there’s a pattern here. My mind, body and soul are geared towards not being overcharged by auto Anna’s and learning Kannada.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

I have an interview with a health company and have a huge pimple on my face. Now they will know that I eat unhealthy oily food.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

I have interviewed 5 of my friends who are taking CAT this year. All of them are going are doing mba to find partners. 😭 30 years later they will goto insideiim and say they went for networking lol.

Lohit Marodia

@lohit_rm

3 months

@monali_dambre Higher education is meant for people looking to find partners.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

Update: I have no shame, clicked on their profile anyway.

Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

I wanted to stalk someone on Linkedln but they have stupid LinkedIn premium

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

22 days

I would rather be sipping wine and reading books in my independent house in sadhashivanagar (which I will buy with my own money) than be with a guy. So I’m good.

shashwatt

@BlunT_43

22 days

@keylimepie2000 Don't be surprised if you are single at 30

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

I want to use my twitter reach to find a flat in Bangalore but I also don’t want random people on the internet to know where I live 😭😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

30 days

I can’t take it man when people shit on Bangalore. Sometimes I really have to stop myself from saying “then leave no?” 😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

People in HSR need to learn to eat at home!

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

26 days

Every weekend I have to make a decision between going to my Bangalore home and eating home cooked food or going on a date. So far I have chosen home food on all weekends. 😭😭😂

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Met this guy who works in VC and we bitched about Indian VCs together. Was fun.

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@keylimepie2000

1 month

It’s 4:38 AM. I just submitted my work and updated everyone on slack. Now I will listen to an episode of Philosophize this and goto bed ✨🎧

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

@swarajk_ Not really. In most cases men were asking for prenups to be legalised or for alimony to be banned. In a country where women don’t have the autonomy to choose their husbands and are coerced into marriage, prenups are out of question.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

Every time someone tells me they didn’t make it to an IIT after years of prep, I tell them that I failed second, third, fourth, fifth grade consequently (I had dyslexia tho) to make them feel better 😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

My sources tell me that Nikhil has a personal chef who cooks all the amazing food for the podcast. My new life goal is to be rich enough to poach Nikhil Kamath’s personal chef! All of you go look at the Kebabs that his chef made for the Kiran Mazhumudar Shaw episode.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

HOW CAN YOU HAVE A TECH BACKGROUND AND NOT KNOW VINOD KHOSLA? men are so disappointing!

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Bangalore people will order something during torrential rainfall and then be like thank you delivery Anna for delivering it even though it was raining. Like dude you ordered!

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

This kid in my office works remote but knows everything! I thought I was curious. But he’s been through every dashboard, every channel 😭😭 Knows things before they happen 🫡 Puts me to shame.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

22 days

I was talking to this guy recently on the phone. I was at my wittiest best. In the middle, even I was amazed at myself. I just stopped the story I was telling him midway and said: “Damn I’m so witty and funny, I would totally date myself” 😭😭😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

Currently stalking my crush on LinkedIn and trying to calculate his age to figure out if he’s too old for me.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

I proudly boasted to my kannadiga crush that I know Kannada! He sent me a Kannada reel with a trick question. Now I have to answer that to prove that I know Kannada.

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@keylimepie2000

2 months

My mother is asking me if I want to go for my mba in 2 years. I have told her if at all I pursue more education, which is highly unlikely, considering my disdain for formal education, it will be in philosophy at Oxford. Even then going only for food and Harry Potter castles.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Came up with this amazing idea to go to CTR after flag hosting. Turns out many other people had the same amazing idea 😭😭😭😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Me after budget; Googling price of one way ticket to Dubai/Singapore.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

I would like a bunch of people to clap for me when I get out from bed every morning in this Bangalore weather. I deserve that validation.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

I have started to enjoy the moment where people look at my resume and give me the "wtf are you doing with your career" look?

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

16 days

I’m not 24. I’m still 23. I was born at 9 AM

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

@varung_here Cause the company was In Bangalore and I know Kannada.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

This is how I decided to quit hinge.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Why do women who read a lot keep giving men who don’t read books at all a chance?

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Mentally preparing myself for bargaining with auto Anna’s in Kannada after work. It’s raining today and no app is going to work.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

@charismaakapoor 1.5 years of my precious time that I will never get back

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

My mother just told me look at Hardik he stayed away from social media and won the World Cup for us and you are always on twitter.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

So saw the hinge profile of a guy I used to talk to (He’s in town, again!). He literally copied one of my prompts that he liked from when we matched. His first born better be named after me.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

IDC if you were at that fintech festival. Someone leak the lunch menu so that I can judge.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Just heard the perplexity founder talk about how he felt bad that he didn’t get his preferred branch in IIT. Like bro it’s ok perplexity is a good product dw.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

When we told the auto Anna to drop us at CTR his eyes lit up and he said “ah masala dosa” So my aunt got him one 😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

@bitcoin_gandhi Good thing I live in Bangalore then. Have no plans of moving to the north.

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@keylimepie2000

4 months

@Balaji_kasiraj We pretend like we don’t understand Hindi in Chennai even if we do 😂 Although we are becoming slightly nicer to the new folks now.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

Omg just realised the two people diagonally opposite me are on a date. I have never dropped my book so quickly lol. I shall eavesdrop on their convo and tell you all if they say something interesting.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

I’m starting to realize that the stuff I say here actually reaches people and I have to be more mindful lol. I miss tweeting absolute garbage to my 5 followers.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

Starting a business is not the biggest risk you can take, as a South Indian! In reality the biggest risk you can take is telling your south indian family that you don’t want to do your masters after getting in.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

When you are an adult either every fucking thing happens at the same time or nothing happens at all.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

Half the auto Anna’s in Bangalore are Tamilians. Idk why tf I’m trying to impress them with my Kannada.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Only in movies do villains lose. In the real world only they seem to win.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

Told myself I would get ice cream if I didn’t text him the whole day

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Office library ❌ Akshita’s library ✅

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

I thought I was the only one doing dumb shit like long distance talking stages, but turns out there are others. I feel so much better now.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

When I said I wanted to move to Bangalore, I meant the 2004- 2015 Bangalore with CTR, Veena, Janata and Vidhyarthi. Not this new crazy version.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

Am I the only one who is not okay with this? This is actually going to be bad for women.

Aneetta

@aneetta_joby_

3 months

It's not helping us find a job so at least a partner maybe hahaha

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

I no longer feel bad about ordering on Zomato cause I bought Zomato stock when it was at 80.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

@notsothicccc Yes just like how men can’t understand what it is like to be a woman in love lol.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

I was looking to set up my guy friend and I asked him what his type is and he says Shraddha Kapoor. Like I don’t understand men.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

29 days

I would pay for a blue tick if I could see other peoples likes I used to have a bunch of people whose likes I would go through and then read whatever they had liked It was intellectually stimulating Also you can learn a lot about a person from their X likes. Now I can’t 😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

22 days

So my aunt was on a video call with my mom from MY PHONE! I have been texted a guy and it was his turn to reply. For 20 mins I was panicking and praying that the WhatsApp notification doesn’t pop. I’m not very religious but for those 20 mins I was 😭😭😭😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

In college, we had this class called Internet culture and memes. We were studying AI generated images, and deepfakes before they were a THING! So every time I look at an AI generated image/video - I CAN TELL! Actually all of us in that class can tell. Our prof made sure.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

@Naamhaisidu You are getting overcharged by auto Anna’s

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

Auto Anna is Tamil today! He’s talking to someone on the phone. I know all his family gossip now!

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Was watching a Barbershop episode (because Arindam Paul was a guest of course) and I did this interesting exercise. I counted the number of times, Shantanu said McKinsey during the interview.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

If one more North Indian calls me SOBO that’s all. I’m not South Delhi or South Bombay! I’m from South India and I give half chennai half Bangalore vibes.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

I’m having a sleep over at my besties place after clubbing. She gave me her stuff toy cause I left pony (my stuff toy at home) which is how I know she’s my best fren

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

28 days

The company I work for introduced reading Thursdays where everyone will read for 3 hours on Thursday. Now I might have to return the library books that I had no plans of returning cause other people also have to read 🙈

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

23 days

In each of my relatives house there is a Akshita’s corner which has a toothbrush,shampoo, comb etc for when I go there. They know I don’t pack anything. Now I just walk in to their houses without having to pack or anything.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

26 days

My older northie fren just called to tell me she's getting married! ✨ She wants to know the name of the South Indian temple featured in the movie Chennai Express where Shah Rukh Khan carries Deepika Padukone up the stairs. She wants to get married there😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

The only South Indians in HSR are me and all the auto Anna’s That’s all.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

4 months

I don't think people understand what surrounding yourself with the right people means. It is not about their current job description! It has more to do with their mindset, energy and whether your equation with them is positive.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

Told my colleague who works remote that we had papdi chaat for snacks today in office and he decided to go to a chaat place and eat the same thing 😭😭😭

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

I don’t think some cuties on the internet realize what it takes to be an Olympic Athlete who hails from a small town in India.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

1 month

The only way I’m ever using a dating app again is if they allow me to search for my crush and swipe on him.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

“Situationships” are a conspiracy by millennials to discredit Genz. No genz I have met (after Ashoka of course) is okay with situationships or wants to be in one.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

My friend is in Switzerland and she sent me a photo of what she ate for breakfast.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

3 months

When they have your fav whole truth bar flavour in the pantry today

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

Good networking ability is not knowing some fancy entrepreneur or VC! It comes down to whether you can get the CTR waiter Anna to give you sambar on a crowded day. I got 2 cups of sambar today.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

27 days

Today I cracked a “Founder mode” joke while talking to someone. And they did not get it. 😭😭😭 Had to explain what founder mode was. 🫠 Could have used the joke with someone else. 😭 Jokes don’t hit the same the second time.

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Akshita

@keylimepie2000

2 months

This makes so much sense.

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