Part 42 of Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship.
#radioapple
Thank you so much everyone for your support and for reading. 🥰
People in Underfell assume that Red calls Edge 'boss' because he's the Captain of the Snowdin guard, but the truth is he's been calling him that since he was a babybones. A little pet name that he can get away with and Edge can't argue about because it would give away the game.
Part 39 of Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship
#radioapple
This was supposed to be a short interlude chapter before we go into, uh, other stuff, and it got out of hand. I hope y'all enjoy it!! 🥰
I can’t be the only writer who every time they post thinks, ‘Okay. Here it is. Here is the one where everyone goes, “hey, wait a second! This story isn’t good, you actually suck at this!”’
Then you get the first positive comment and go, ‘Whew! Fooled them again!’
Not just me?
Stretch: hey, there, hot stuff, what're your pronouns?
Edge: He/Him
Stretch: how's about we change them to my/man? 😘
Edge: ...you're really lucky that my sexuality is moronsexual.
Well. I did it. After months of insanity, I quit my job even though I don’t have another one lined up. My SO encouraged me to quit, it’ll be tight, but we can live on his salary for a while. And I don’t think I’ll be unemployed long.
I’m relieved and terrified in equal parts.
Does anyone else just not want to do things until they are doing it? Anything from going to the movies to taking a shower, I am so reluctant to do it. But when I am eating my popcorn or basking in the hot water, suddenly it's great. Is there a term for this?
New update for 'Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship'! I was so tired when I posted yesterday, I didn't end up linking it anywhere. 😭
#radioapple
My MIL passed away early this morning, so I'll probably be sporadically online for the next few days. I'm going to go ahead and turn off comments for this, I appreciate the sympathy and thoughts from everyone, but I don't think I have the spoons for it right now. Thanks, all. ❤️
Tropes that never get old: injured/sick person who has just woken up laying their hand on the head of the one who fell asleep sitting in the chair beside the bed, so they can slowly wake up & see they’re finally awake.
Sick person telling them they look like shit is optional.
Watching all the speculation on Season 2, and my guess is Alastor and Lucifer end up working together against a bigger threat. That allows them to still hate each other but be together all the time. The enemy of my enemy is my frenemy kind of relationship. 😂
An anonymous person asked me to write something with Edge telling Stretch he is pregnant or to do a short comic on the same subject, which...uh...I don't really take requests and also, I am not an artist? But, you know, I hate to disappoint, so here we are! Museum quality, no?
Now, I want you to know that I say this with the greatest sincerity possible, but all you people that got me shipping kustard?
I hate you all.
Some aftermath of Internal Disputes, Sans's POV:
Playing Games (kustard, background spicyhoney, baon)
My MIL is in hospice and not doing well. She lives several states away so we will be traveling to see her. I will likely not be updating this week, I usually post regularly so just wanted people to know what was up. ❤️
I’ll be around twitter, I’m sure, distractions are good.
Sent my son out to buy a couple sodas. He came back with four. How is a couple four?? Asked him, when you see a 'couple' holding hands, how many people do you think are involved?
His reply: "How should I know, relationships can be interesting!"
I feel like I lost this argument.
I am reminded that in BAON, Edge noted only Sans wears a collar, for Red, thus they are in a 'single collar' relationship. He didn't expand on it, Edge wisely steers clear, but in Underfell terms, it means Red is committed to protecting Sans and in return, Sans is obedient.
1/
I can't help but think that once Sans get past Red's cactus outer layer & into his equally prickly middle, at the very base where he grudgingly gives in and loves Sans, Red like, has no idea how to do this.
So he brings presents but not 'present' presents. 1/4
The way I write is if I'm struggling (bad pain day/week, work crap, etc), then I set a daily goal until I get back into the swing of things. I try for 500 words but I'll go as low as 200. It's too easy to slip into doing none, and those none days pile up. 300 so far, 200 to go.
I'm so sorry, couldn't resist. redtomatofan posted about craving MafiaEdge spicyhoney. I had to do a little short. I don't want to tag them so they don't get slammed with alerts but they're definitely the inspiration!
The Rose and the Thorn (
#Spicyhoney
)
Having the Dogs & other people start calling him 'boss' made him want to strangle his brother. To him, it was like having his co-workers call him 'booger butt' or some other awful kid nickname.
Which was surely Red's plan to begin with. Can't let his bro get too full of himself.
Found in my notes, made me laugh:
I’d give good money to see Edge on a date with a secret headset & Red radioing in to give him tips.
"tell him he looks nice, start strong!"
"You look very nice, that shirt seems to be actually clean for once."
"no!! don't improvise!!"
1/
I always headcanon that Stretch & Red wear these oversized hoodies & jackets but underneath they are much smaller & slimmer than anyone’d guess.
Seeing Stretch sleeping on the sofa without his hoodie makes Edge want to tuck a blanket around him to keep his slender bones warm. 1/
Guess I'm just going to ride this smoking train 'till it catches on fire!
More MafiaAU, Rus is having a really bad, terrible, no-good week.
The Rose and the Thorn ch3 (
#spicyhoney
, MafiaAU)
My dog, Zelda, had a seizure this morning, something that has never happened before. We rushed her up to the vet but she was already gone. She was an older dog but not that old and I’m a little in shock right now.
Rest In Peace, good girl. You were loved.
I have to think it's probably dangerous for Red to ever run anywhere. Considering his normal top speed is just a little under a menacing mosey, if he ever picked it up to a mere jog, anyone around him would immediately drop everything they were doing and start running with him.
Still feeling a little burned out from work and family issues, so I’m taking it easy this week. 2000 words into the next chapter but I’m delighted with the scenario of it so I’ll take my time and get it right. ☺️
New update for The Rose and the Thorn! (⚠This one earns the Adult rating⚠)
While Rus is off being 'entertained' by Blaze, Blue is dealing with issues of his own.
The Rose and the Thorn-Interlude
#5
: Owned
(
#spicyhoney
,
#cherryberry
, Mafia/Florist AU)
Looking at a kustard drabble today!
Red doesn't usually actually listen to all those bugs he keeps at his brother's place.
Much.
Crossed Wires (
#kustard
, background spicyhoney, BAON)
Update for 'By Any Other Name'!
A new chapter of 'The Royal We'. Time to check in with Sans's side of the story, so here's a little kustard to sweeten things?
The Royal We ch.4 (
#kustard
,
#spicyhoney
, baon)
Mentioned this on discord, but I read a post about how intimate it is to move someone's necklace clasp back to the nape of their neck & I can't stop thinking about it.😂
Like, in art I've seen Edge with dog tags & Stretch absently adjusting them? A little long for twitter, so:
A heads up to anyone who might be interested, now would be an excellent time to give my story The Rose & the Thorn a re-read, if you need a refresher for the new chapter coming out!
The Rose & the Thorn
(
#spicyhoney
,
#cherryberry
,
#papcest
, Mafia AU)
I suspect this will get lost in all the glorious RadioApple week excellence but I am tossing it out there anyway. 😂
Part 33 of Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship
#radioapple
Because I am clearly incapable of actually writing a one-shot.
In the aftermath of...well, spoilers, Rus is dealing with everything the best that he can. More MafiaAU for the win!
The Rose and the Thorn ch2 (
#Spicyhoney
, MafiaAU)
Well here I am, the little engine that could, chugging out another part! Part 27 of Lucifer and his Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Relationship.
#radioapple
Of all things an update to 'by any other name' that isn't spicyhoney. A lil
#kustard
on Saturday morning.
All Sans wanted was lunch. What he got the one thing he wasn't looking for: effort
The Bird in the Hand Shouldn't Punch the Gift Horse in the Mouth
My collection of
@samzikei
goodies grows!! I love it all so much, I have a little display right in my office for daily enjoyment! Your art is so adorable and makes me so happy!! 🥰🥰 Thank you!
I am alive. Took some time off work to get my head on straight. Important, life changing things could be happening in a good way and my fingers are crossed as hard as I can!
I see something trending about NASA discovered a so-called '13th zodiac sign' & NASA denying it, cause they don't...do that. And all I can think of is Red rolling around on the ground in agony, chewing on the carpet as he howls out the differences between astroLOGY and astroNOMY
I feel like any of the skellies with a sense of humor should go to one of those Halloween stores & just stand around, waiting. Maybe Sans & Stretch, waiting for people to come up & look for a price tag before moving & snapping, “how dare you?? never speak to me or my son again!”
"ketchup'll get me halfway to heaven, you gonna take me the rest of the way?"
"only way they'd let us through the gate is if we pick the lock."
The offering has been accepted, rejoice! There will be much filthy sex this night, and a snack of dry Frosted Flakes after. 4/4
I was the reluctant holdout in my family as we acquired what is now our third cat. The new baby is still tiny, the runt of the litter, black cat named Wednesday, and the first one who is a bonafide lap cat. Guess whose lap she prefers. 🥰
My cat/brat also has this weird way of laying down. She doesn’t loaf, she just sort of tucks her paws under her legs so when she’s laying down, she looks like a rotisserie chicken. Sweetie, why are you so weird?
My rotisserie cat:
The whole ‘pushing someone against a door & kissing them’ is so sexy to me. I can’t help but picture a scenario like, after an intense few weeks of getting their relationship past enemies to lovers, where Stretch trips into Edge’s arms & instead of kissing him on the street, 1/3
All right, I'm going to keep chugging on this one until I fall down. More Mafia AU, here we go!
Let's head back into Rus's POV, he has a Plan. Surely this will go well.
The Rose and the Thorn, ch 6 (
#spicyhoney
,
#papcest
, mafiaAU)
My books came!! They are bigger than anticipated, I guess I’m not good at gauging sizes. But they look amazing!! I bought a hardback for myself and 4 paperbacks, not sure what I am going to do with them yet. For right now, I am delighted by this outcome!!
Here's a 4am plot for ya.
Edge is the sous chef at a prestigious restaurant & Rus is the worst waiter they've ever had. He & Edge butt heads for a little while, but when Rus accidentally drops the creation Edge made to impress a local food critic, he's had enough & complains/p1
Seeing his brother the same way is a painful reminder that despite his larger than life facade, his brother can be fragile & not just physically.
He’d tuck a quilt around Red too, with deliberate carelessness, & Red pretends to keep sleeping when he does. Red can give that much.
Test came back negative for Covid! For all that we're still under the weather, no one in my family has been seriously ill, so we're figuring its probably another bug coupled with plenty of stress.
Staying hydrated and getting my rest still. ❤
Update for The Temptation of Divinity, my spicyhoneymustard Judge fic! 18+ Read the notes!
Edge & Red are Chosen, their vows are sworn not only to Rus, but to the Judge. The Judge is inclined to stake their claim.
Lest You Be Judged (
#spicyhoneymustard
)
Please, take my offering of sin. Spicyhoneymustard, Edge/Rus/Red, together in dirty, dirty porn.
Read the tags and if it's your idea of a good time, hop on in and enjoy! Don't say I didn't warn you....
Showtime (spicyhoneymustard, stand alone)
Prompt
#3
of Kinktober: Tentacles
Seems that even when I'm trying to write kinky, somehow I still end up with cuddly softness and lovey-dovey. Have some hurt/comfort, soft tentacle sex. Sorry?
Not Exactly Standard (spicyhoney, tentacle sex, first time)
The gifts Thus far:
-A half-filled ketchup bottles stolen from the local diner that had a cool label.
-a handful of pennies, all w/ different years.
-one sock. A plain sock, like Sans is Dobby & needs freed
-a package of mini cereal boxes w/ all the cocoa krispies removed 2/4
Still re-reading my old stories & hell, I’m throwing this one out there, it totally holds up.
Read the warnings first!
Outside Influences (
#spicyhoney
, stand-alone)
Leaving after a late night cooking lesson, Edge stumbled across something unexpected.
Every morning when I get up, my cat follows me to my office and waits impatiently until I get my computer going so I can turn on the bird video on youtube. She will harass me until I turn on the video so she can watch her shows. It's difficult to work with such needy coworkers.
I saw a video recently of this guy coaxing baby bunnies out from under a house & I can’t help but think this would be something Edge would do.
Maybe bring Stretch over to show him & yeah, super cute but Stretch is just staring at Edge, like, ‘did you just summon baby bunnies??’
I had this idea for drunken Stretch on a Saturday night. Pre-spicyhoney, melancholy and humor. Thought I'd share it with y'all
#spicyhoney
fans out there.
I have a new standalone story!
Rus always thought he was a pretty likable guy. Everyone in Underswap always thought so. So why was it Edge hated him so much?
Foreign Languages (
#spicyhoney
)
Does anyone else ever randomly think, ‘oh fuck, I must’ve said the wrong thing and now everyone hates me’ for legit no reason at all, with no proof or reference.
I think it’s kind of like feeling guilty when driving past a cop even though you’re not even speeding.
Said the hell with it & wrote a new chapter for BAON!
Edge has learned many things since he began his relationship with Stretch. Surely he can endure this travesty. Surely he can survive...the Waffle House.
A Waffle Lot of Trouble (
#spicyhoney
, BAON)
Update for 'By Any Other Name!'
Edge needs a mental health assessment to continue working at the Embassy.
Surely this will go perfectly fine, right?
Assessing the Situation (
#spicyhoney
, baon)
I'd forgotten how much I love Sans and Red being complete disaster boys for each other and how absolutely delicious it is.
Just in case anyone else wants to enjoy the reminder:
Hickory Dick-ory Dock (
#kustard
)
I haven’t wanted to say anything yet, I was waiting for the test results, but most of my family is down sick right now with suspected Covid, including me. I’m nowhere near hospital levels but I feel crap enough that I might be off and on for a bit. Thanks, I’ll keep y’all posted.
No matter how out cold he is, whether dead drunk or sound asleep, the only person whose ever been able to touch Red while he is out is Edge. Carrying him back from Grillby’s in Underfell after a show of yelling at him or quietly taking him upstairs in their aboveground home. 1/3
Edge and Red act like they don't have hearts that can be broken, both of them tossing out all that fierce bluster or sardonic humor, but honestly, that's exactly how someone acts when their heart has been broken before and was left all the more fragile for it. 1/
I admit that I like the angst of Bad Gaster as a background story for the skellies, but what about if one universe had a Good Dadster.
Say, Sans and Papyrus, and suddenly these AU skellies from US and UF show up and Dadster is horrified to learn what his alternate was up to.
He always dumps them into Sans's lap without a word & gives all appearances of not caring, even while he intently watches for a reaction.
Since Sans knows his prickly boy is like a damn scruffy alley cat, waiting to be praised for its illicit prey, he has to say something. 3/4
All Edge can do hope is that it doesn’t turn out badly. But he takes comfort to think there’s one other person in the world whose pried their way under Red’s metaphorical skin enough to earn a molecule of his trust.
Might need a microscope to see it, but at least it’s there. 3/3
If anyone wants to know how I made BAON into an ebook:
First, install Calibre:
Next, install the following Plug-ins in calibre : FanFicFare and Epubmerge
-You can do this by going to Preferences > Get Plug Ins > Filter List of Plugins to All
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